I have a question for guys who are now married but used to get around: was having sex with a lot of women worth it? (self.asktrp)

submitted by Philosophical43

I ask because I've only had sex with one girl (my girlfriend, and her I). However, I'm pretty attractive and bitches hit on me frequently at parties and at school. I have no doubt that I could pull a vast number of females with relative ease if I decided to breakup with said girl.

But is it worth it?

I could definitely see myself marrying this girl (been together for more than 5 years). We never seem to run out of things to talk about and are interested in the exact same things, she's doing electrical engineering and I'm doing physics so we are pretty fucking awesome together.

But I've been getting a lot of female attention lately. It's making me wonder if I'm missing out. Am I missing out? Would you guys say fucking around with a number of women is more enjoyable than being in a solid relationship with one?

Note: this is all under the assumption that the girl wouldn't ever cheat on me. I have my reasons as to why I am certain she wouldn't. If I didn't, I wouldn't even be asking this.

[–]creating_my_life 91 points92 points  (6 children)

You get enough pussy until you internalize that "pussy is just pussy". As long as you're still thinking, "hmmm, maybe THAT pussy is better", you need to keep chasing. Once you find yourself banging a really hot chick and thinking, "fuck, I'd rather be working on my MISSION", then you're ready. Now find a woman who supports you chasing your mission and is good enough.

It's another offshoot of abundance mentality.

[–]-MAurelius- 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Find a woman who supports you chasing your mission. I like it

[–]eaeulis 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Finding a woman who supports your mission....I'm having a hard time internalizing that. Not to sound or be put in the ANGER PHASE, but let's be real here....it sounds a lot like a Disney fairytale.

[–]_the_shape_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'll be "real" with you and assure you that it is not unrealistic at all to find a girl completely supportive of your goals in life.

In fact, in my experience, there tends to be a strong correlation between the level of attraction a girl holds for you and how supportive she is of what you're trying to achieve.

Frame is crucial too. A weak frame will cost you her support. If a man constantly yields to a woman (i.e. consistently choosing to Netflix & Chill with her rather than work on his goals, vacillating, becoming lazy, all of these will make it more difficult to support him)

[–]DonnySequoiaBuddz707 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get this, i really do. Well put

[–]jackandjill22 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–][deleted] 53 points54 points  (10 children)

The purpose of playing the field and nailing lots of strange pussy is to realise and experience the fact that there's nothing special about it. This is something that most guys have to experience personally. If you've only had 1 or 2 girls, listening to some guy who's fucked 300 girls go on about how ONS are meaningless won't help. It's like telling a starving man that fast food hamburgers aren't worth eating.

Fucking lots of girls will hopefully prevent you from signing your life away to the first girl who sucks your dick and lets you finger her. It might also help you get past wanting to marry a girl based on looks, and maybe try to choose one based on other qualities.

Remember, if you want children, your children will get half their genes from the woman you choose. If she's ditzy with an 90 IQ with a firm ass and great tits and is great at sucking cock, you might have a great time in bed, but your kids might end up being dumb-as-rock morons. You just might be better off with the 140 IQ chick who spend her college days in the microbiology lab rather than the pub and spent her Saturday nights at the library rather than getting railed by the rugby team.

[–]creating_my_life 28 points29 points  (6 children)

your children will get half their genes from the woman you choose.

And don't feel guilty about instantly disqualifying women who have bad genes. Its not her fault; but it's not your responsibility, either. Look at her family history. Heart Disease? Short men? Mental Instability issues? Low IQ? No success anywhere in the family tree? Cancer runs rampant? All smokers? NEXT.

[–]en_men_lu_ana 4 points5 points  (2 children)

So you are saying that I was in slightly uncomfortable situation? Her mother - heart and thyroid problems, her father - heart and spine problems, her brother - eyesight problems, her and her sister - retroverted uterus, fuck knows what else in the future.

[–]Mike377774774 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Jesus man, that's a lot

[–]en_men_lu_ana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, the things we turn a blind eye to while being in relationship... Still, I would probably keep it this way if she didn't leave.

Don't know whether I should cry or I should laugh B-)

[–]menial_optimist -1 points0 points  (2 children)

short men

the fuck? This aint a eugenics program.

[–]empatheticapathetic 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Short men are gonna have it harder. You want your son to be short? My nephew is short and dumb and gets ripped on. His little sister is short but a genius. You can't control everything but if the bitches dad is short, it's an indication the grand kids may inherit that trait.

[–]ForYourSorrows 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Life itself is actually sort of a eugenics program bro. I'm being incredibly reductive but this is a reddit comment so.. my point stands.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Maybe, maybe not. It is not unusual for higher IQ traits to be paired with social awkwardness. Socially awkward guys like sex as much as the those who master social situations, but the awkward guys have less sex. Similarly the socially awkward girls like sex as much as the cool girls, but they have less of it because they aren't part of the "cool" group. OTOH sometimes the socially awkward girl decides to go on a full-out slut phase in an effort to fit in. As with anything in life, generalisations never apply to every single situation.

    [–]ThickDickWarrior89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Incredible insight brother!

    [–]htbf 77 points78 points  (1 child)

    You're not missing out on anything.

    A pussy is a pussy. Those other girls, talk to them, flirt with them, but don't dump a GF for random bitches. If your girl is everything you could dream of (cute, hot, smart, funny, traditional values), why the fuck would you let that go for random pussies.

    So, keep playing the field, at least to prevent developing an OIS for your girl and staying sharp in case everything goes to shit with your woman. But there is no value at all in ditching her to chase tail elsewhere. You will have LESS sex, although with MORE girls. And you will need to spend time getting that SEX, which is often time wasted.

    [–]mountainbiker178 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Appreciate this response

    [–]supersonic-turtle 14 points15 points  (11 children)

    Not married yet but it looks like I'm going to intentionally nail my coffin soon... I've had nearly 40 partners and I only regret a few, for the most part it was thrill of conquest.

    To put it short, nah, you aren't missing out. It's just a lot of fun for us but the game does get old so if you've got a good one now, you may ought to keep her.

    Of all I've learned it's that AWALT isn't just a cute acronym and it's important to be the guy you want to be. Ffs if you don't respect yourself no way in hell a decent, barefoot in the kitchen freak in the sheets woman is going to break her hamster wheel to snare you.

    [–]creating_my_life 5 points6 points  (10 children)

    Not married yet but it looks like I'm going to intentionally nail my coffin soon


    [–]supersonic-turtle 8 points9 points  (9 children)

    Nah, I'm thirty I've had my fun. I've got a mission to make babies and it goes against my personal beliefs to have kids outside of wed"Lock".

    Will it bite me in the ass, more than likely if I vomit the red pill.

    [–]creating_my_life 11 points12 points  (8 children)

    I have kids. With a good woman. One of the worst decisions I've made in my life. Would totally recommend against it.

    [–]supersonic-turtle 5 points6 points  (4 children)

    Totally respect that man, part of this program is having convictions and solid beliefs. I know marriage is a controversial topic when it comes to this sub and r/mgtow but I have my standard in this regard. You tried to warn me that's all we can say when I regret it.

    [–]creating_my_life 11 points12 points  (2 children)

    Go hang out in married red pill, read the sidebar, and you'll be fine. MRP saved me; and as a result my marriage. Never stop unapologetically being you, never give an inch, never compromise, and always be vigilant against betaization.

    never let your foot off the gas even for a second!!!!

    [–]supersonic-turtle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Damn right ^ thanks for the suggestion.

    [–]Euphoricentia -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Go hang out in married red pill, read the sidebar, and you'll be fine. MRP saved me; and as a result my marriage. Never stop unapologetically being you, never give an inch, never compromise, and always be vigilant against betaization.

    Or just have good mpg, what a rookie.

    [–]gilver9 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Could you expand on this?

    [–]creating_my_life 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Having kids is a one-way, absolutely 100% all-in life-changing experience that will take your BEST years and make many, many other things WAY more important. There's no days off, there's no rest, and there's absolutely no room for failure.

    Basically, it justs "costs" (in time and money), way the fuck too much for what it's worth. Look back at your own childhood and life. You did your thing, hung out with your friends, and in your late teens or early 20s just moved on.

    Have you even called your Dad today?

    Alternatively, if I didn't have kids, I'd have a metric fuck-ton more money, LOTS more time, huge flexibility in my life, and way less stress. You only get ONE shot in this world, why take 20+ years of the best ages in your life and purposely deprioritize yourself?

    [–]empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Some real shit

    [–]Kommanderdude 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    Yes. It gives you the confidence to know that you can slay whenever you want. Your wife will notice that confidence and it will keep her on her toes.

    [–]FUCK_YEA_GLITTER 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    This is probably the most important bit. Seen the new posts? Money alone can't save you... you gotta have the alpha

    [–]notmyusualreddit 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Warning: Reddit admins deleted me after 2 years of posting, even with current gold on my account, just because I posted a link to a youtube account that was easily available if you took a name news organizations were giving out and typed it into google yourself. The bias against Trump and the_donald is real.

    BUT, the reddit morons forgot to lock out EDITING your previous posts as part of the permanent ban.

    [–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    You don't want to be certain she won't cheat, no matter what the reasons are man. It's toxic to masculinity to be certain about this. You'll do a lot better if you're cheery either way and always have a small doubting smile when this type of thing comes up between you and your girl. She needs that thing where you don't really take her loyalty that seriously, but she is trying her hardest to be as loyal as she can for you, is proud of herself in doing so, and is deeply engaged. Makes women so happy, they need to be continuously chasing after something unattainable and superhuman to be truly happy. Why can't that be you? It can if you keep up your small doubting smiles. Resting on her laurels as the most loyal woman that ever woman'ed on planet earth will not do it for her.

    [–]Forcetobereckonedwit 20 points21 points  (1 child)

    Always bed as many females as your situation will allow. Not only will you become a better lover but you will learn about women, learn abundance mentality, and feel better about yourself when your snowflake slips up and gargles Chad's cum with his roomie's dick in her ass and you find out.

    You can bet the farm on that advice.

    AWALT... Even the perfect ones.

    Oh and... I have been a prolific cocksman for decades, cheated, been cheated on, banged many hundreds of females, and am now with an amazing young unicorn. I know what's coming eventually. I'm enjoying the fuck outta her in the meantime.

    [–]Philosophical43[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    Ah, the old "she's not yours, it's just your turn" mentality. Noted.

    [–]Kommanderdude 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    How old are you op? If you’re under 30 slay other women. Cause at some point her hamster will engage between that 18 to 30 mark and she’ll start fucking around.

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (7 children)


    If nothing else, dating a wide variety of women makes you understand how to spot the loons and the dumps and makes you appreciate the ones with any redeeming qualities.

    [–]confettifella 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Being able to spot the loons is key. Makes you appreciate the really good ones.

    [–]FUCK_YEA_GLITTER 0 points1 point  (5 children)

    This, OP. How many guys on their deathbed say that regret "having sex with all those women"?

    [–]zuhbooze 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    The ones that are dying from HIV. I'm all for the promotion of the numbers game, but there comes a point when the law of averages will fuck you. Rewards aren't taken without risk, but at what expense.

    Slay safe boys, the field is saturated.

    [–]FUCK_YEA_GLITTER -1 points0 points  (2 children)

    Saturated with HIV? In Canada it's estimated that there 75k people living with HIV, in a population of 350 million that's pretty low. I bet alot of them are IV drug users. I wouldn't lose sleep over it

    [–]zuhbooze 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Saturated with health risks caused from sexual relations (STI/STDs) There's more to it than just HIV. I referred HIV to the bed rest comment, simply because HIV kills. Regardless, I'm only stating that playing with fire enough times will eventually result in a burn.

    [–]GunsGermsAndSteel 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Well, for me it was fun, yeah. I’ve had sex with around 120 women. Probably double that if you count blowjobs. So I got a lot of variety and kinda figured out what women like... if you have a large enough sample size, your averages start to mean something.

    I definitely prefer the woman I’m married to though. She gives me the best sex I could ever hope for, and we’ve been together long enough that we can’t even think of any more kinks to explore.

    [–]Euphoricentia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Sex wise, yeah, you get a better thrill from fucking around than from fucking the same chick again and again. You're polygamous, that won't ever change.

    soon to be cucked (TM)

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Not to give up on someone you think you'll marry, but glad I did for the experience and figuring out what I was into and what type of girl would be compatible with me sexually

    [–]quicklogaccount 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    Sex wise, yeah, you get a better thrill from fucking around than from fucking the same chick again and again. You're polygamous, that won't ever change.
    Relationships should offer benefits to make up for that though. This is an assessment you need to make by yourself. Rule of thumb good relationships are worth giving up fucking around, but you need data to be able to compare and since you never fucked around, you obviously idealize it.

    So, breaking this down, I can put it like this.
    You'll hardly regret breaking up to fuck around. You'll most likely learn you can build relationships with most chicks if you're RP about it, but you'll require a very rare chick to even consider it. I can bet that, if you do, new you will wonder why the fuck he committed to girlfriend for starters, or why he took so long to break up.
    But your sex thirst and her inexperience and insecurity play a big role in bonding you two, it makes it easier, it makes it more worth to solve issues, and the (false) idea that only your partner is capable of validating you as a sexual being makes up for a pretty intense bond. These things you won't ever have again.

    You can try playing catch and release though, to many guys it gives a bit of a thrill and is enough to keep monogamy running. Women do it all the time by collecting orbiters, although for different reasons.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]quicklogaccount 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Well, I tried it and it didn't work for me.
      I guess that if you just need some validation, it might work. I needed to feel that I wasn't tied to someone that hurt me and truth is I still was.

      [–]Herdsengineers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I agree with others - while AWALT is real, and yeah, it's just your turn, within those parameters, if your girl is a good one, keep her around.

      Just don't put off your mission for her. It should be you are on your mission and she's high enough value that she is an acceptable partner to join you, if she chooses. She's free to jump ship anytime, too.

      If you keep that mindset, honestly, many women will make it your turn for a long ass time, as in until one of you dies. It's still just your turn, she's just extending your turn as long as you demonstrate your own value that's worth it for her to do so.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      Sex itself means almost nothing to me. The thing I love about pickup & game is how in control I feel.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I was relationship minded until I got divorced. Now I got around until it was boring. I'll say spinning plates is a real good vaccine to 'women are wonderful ' and knowing that you can get laid regularly without being in a relationship makes you less susceptible to settling with a shit woman. So, I'd really like some more kids. But given I have the one I'm not terribly inclined to assume all this risk to have more kids when I already have one.

      [–]Tzeentch_Gnosis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Id say it's subjective but also would say that for most men, the experience and variety is excellent.

      Besides, the perils of oneitis are rife.

      [–]Turbosuperfastlaser1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yes. Absolutely yes. I'm married now and I don't have to wonder about what this one or that one looks like naked or how it feels. I also don't feel like I could've done more or something like that. I'm content with my wife. I know it's mostly the same thing. I could do an honest assessment of her as a person and base my selection on her as a human without getting googly eyes because of sex.

      [–]COORDOORS 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      be cool with your girl. but always give her like 90% of you and keep 10% to yourself in case it turns out AWALT.

      [–]empatheticapathetic 0 points1 point  (0 children)


      [–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      [–]GreatMenderTeapill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Let me make this simpler than the field: Yes.

      [–]imn0tg00d 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      You can probably cheat and get away with it. Try it out and see how it feels to be with other girls. Some are definitely better than others.

      [–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      My question, if you weren't sure, why did you do it?

      If you're still not sure, why aren't you divocing/looking around?

      If you still aren't sure, why should I help with your buyers remourse?

      If you just want a hug, don't you have a mom to shame you straight?

      [–]Big_Daddy_PDX -1 points0 points  (2 children)

      For context, my wife was my 2nd and my first was only great in the “no longer a virgin!” aspect. We had good sex for most of the marriage and then around the 15yr mark we got the itch to experiment. And we started having threesomes with single girls (unicorns) and I got to have some side plates. I thoroughly enjoyed the variety and I liked the opportunity to see how my techniques worked on other girls. It was a fucking boost to resize I did things so well and that several told me they’d never had orgasms like they did with me - and apparently my cock is a little longer than normal and they really liked that.

      Are you missing something? Of course. Sex with a new partner is always exciting. Sometimes it’s hard for you to communicate bings you like if the person you’re with doesn’t know what they’re doing , while a new partner might totally get off on doing it to you.

      But, I can’t say taking the risk of having sex w/ strangers while you’re married is a good idea. For me, it highlighted how much of a selfish cunt my wife was and I realized that I would have divorced her YEARS earlier but I was distracted with a steady diet of strange pussy. Now I’m dating a girl exclusively that is actually good for me and the LAST thing I care about is strange pussy.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–]Big_Daddy_PDX -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        LOL. Please go back to playing your video games and playing with dolls.