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When a girl isn't interested (self.asktrp)

submitted by Guerilla713

I've heard people say:

"Next her"

"Have abundance mentality"

"Not everyone will like you so focus on those that do"

My "problem" is the girls I'm interested in seem to not show interest back after the first date. The ones I'm not interested in contact me repeatedly after the first date. How do yall deal with that? Just continue to cast that net in hopes to find the mutual connection? Not gonna lie, getting kind of tiring.


[–][deleted] 58 points59 points  (2 children)

treat the 9's like the 6's and they're all 6's

[–]boolDozer 21 points22 points  (0 children)

God damn that’s perfect. This is it. The 9’s can sense it, they know you’re interested in them and the 6’s know you aren’t (or anyone else ftm).

[–]boy_named_su 3 points4 points  (0 children)

then 69 em

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 20 points21 points  (18 children)

My "problem" is the girls I'm interested in seem to not show interest back after the first date. The ones I'm not interested in contact me repeatedly after the first date

Two issues here.

First issue: you want hotter than you, she wants hotter than her. Hence if you're interested she isn't, and vice versa. This is enough to explain the "they don't show interest when I do" effect.

Second issue: the way you express interest may work against you. If you're too keen, you'll trigger her "I can do better" instincts.

Assuming you are getting first dates but not second: what happens on these dates? Does the conversation flow easily? Do you touch her? Kiss her? Fuck her? Are you attracted to her?

[–]Guerilla713[S] 2 points3 points  (17 children)

I see what you're saying. Will use this weekend as an example:

Friday: We had fun but I wasn't interested in her after a while. Just wasn't my type and I was also looking forward to the next day's (Saturday) date I had with a woman who before I'd consider out of my league. Conversation flow was very easy. Maybe I let off those vibes to her too. She'd grab my hand as we were walking through the city...then interlocked her fingers into mine, etc. We made out, but I just didn't care and didn't want to lead her on either. She has texted me multiple times a day since then.

Saturday: Thought I was finally winning. We had a good time and she said the place I brought her to was on her bucket list but literally no kino between us. She can talk her ass off but the convo itself was not the greatest. Had more fun when other people at the rooftop lounge would talk to us. We may have bumped knees, and we hugged when she dropped me to my car but that was it. I texted her today and will see if she responds. Still had a date the next day (Sunday) with another woman, so I don't think I gave off any vibe of the Saturday date being all I had. Won't text her again if she doesn't respond.

Sunday: I thought this one had the best mutual chemistry over the weekend. Kino throughout the day. Easy flowing conversation. At the end when I walked her to her car, we hugged and kissed multiple times. I text her today and she says no chemistry and we probably won't hang out again. I respond with "ok" :(

First dates usually go well for me. Something sexual usually happens or I at least get a kiss. But it comes from girls I don't want except as a FWB at the most. I have more lined up already for tomorrow and then this weekend so we'll see how it goes

[–]Velebit 15 points16 points  (6 children)

You are seeking loyalty and commitment and high impulse control (low libido) from women and you get attention from mostly slutty clingy women. Maybe you are not signaling the right things. Most of trp subreddit stuff is just to expand your rotation of quick fucks. It hones you to attract women of high sexual availability and simplify everything to a one dimensional 'male smv' model going full retard on ignoring the gazillion exceptions you will see at every restaurant, college, shopping mall etc.

Learn aboit r vs k selection and how r is basically almost everything here and how its a systematized attempt to devolve humans into a chimp style pecking order with Ernest Khalimov https://www.yooying.com/berlin.1969 and Hafthor Bjornsson at top and the rest getting the crums.

[–]ariky 1 point2 points  (5 children)

So what about the Type K? I’ve always thought the most of the topics in trp works for slutty, fuck me now and tinder girls. It’s a big mistake to assume every women as the same. Of course keeping AWALT in my mind deeply yet I don’t even go to night clubs nor bars, I don’t drink alcohol and at the same time I’m a music producer and playing and singing in a rock band too.

TRP shouldn’t be restricted to night games or you know, having plates all around. I’m not offensive about them but TRP is way more inclusive in my opinion.

This is the first time I’m facing with a comment saying different. So I’m willing to learn more. Feed me please

[–]Velebit 16 points17 points  (4 children)

Well there are contradictions everywhere. I will probably fail to list all of them but I will start with exploration of human nature. We keep hearing about 'male nature and masculinity' and 'female nature and hypergamy' etc etc. However if we can all agree on one thing about human nature it is that it, in contrast to animals is to conquer nature. Humans nature is to combat and change nature, this means even their own nature. Humans used to use religion as a mental tool to keep disciplined and make a successful society. The attributes of a successful society is monogamy, chastity, fertility, ascetism, communitarian attitude and a firm belief in itself and a collective goal that cant be reached by a single indvididual. Now that religion has lost its role, humans, especially in the west are directionless and lost. We are lost because another part of human nature is to be communitarian... tribal even. All of our achievements are only present because massive collectives of humans, streching over space and time contributed to single incredible goals. You no longer have this. Christendom has no mission, your country has no mission, your family has no mission, you have no mission. And believe me 'more' is not a mission. 'More' is not what you want. With time more of everything is what first world will get you and if that was the goal or good we would not be here.

Most stuff that you hear is basically bandaid cookie cutter solutions (increase smv, more idgaf, no oneitis, lift bro) that does not really do a lot except feed into the race to the bottom and can only offer the individual std and shallow formulaic relations. You dont get anywhere with more pussy access and more gadgets/meat. Its just a hedonistic distraction to a pointless life.

Sex is about reproduction and reproduction is about selecting the best genes. Since human behavior is mostly gene expression or a gene reaction to an environment... sex/reproduction is for finding the unicorn. Human colorful eyes, interesting hair, huge tits/ass/dick are all deliberately selected traits. So is iq and loyalty and other monogamous civilizational gene traits.

If your strategy is to immitate apes well you fail at being human as you give up what being human (genetically) means, you give up evolution as to proclaim even things as awalt means denying evolution as evolution is all about mutations appearing in individuals, mutations that go against the grain. 1% of humans are immune to HIV, 1% of humans are psychopaths, these things are genetic and highly heritable. And now some broscientist mid50ies nobody will instruct a whole generation on reddit that all humans are the same. Its just wrong and missleading.

The true redpill is to realize that apelike and r social/sexual relations are a trait of tropical environment and that civilization and progress came about from the cold environments and monogamous and ascetic populations... not from the dance and fun loving tropics.

The true redpill is that truth is not limited to a single individual and his short lifespan. If the tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, it still fell! The lowest rates of depression, anxiety, violence etc can be seen among Amish. Almost all non-tropical religions have the same underlying focus; ascetism, honor, family, community, collective goal. One of the main reason why the concept of illegitimate children existed was to basically deny resources to hedonistic and disloyal people and stop their genes from flourishing/contaminating the fragile eco system that is a civilized nontropical society. Dysgenics is rampant now.

We can replace the theology with science but what is necessary is to realize that solution that has a scope so limited that it only works for the short term needs of a single individual are not really solutions. Its how many cultures destroyed wiped themselves out. Individuals wanted more lumber but the community needed the forest. Short term those individuals did get more lumber and when the community lost the forest they could not sustain themselves on either individual or collective level so they all died (Easter Island).

Trp subreddit is mostly saying 'you need lumber, go cut a tree, fuck long term community needs'.

Sure promiscuity and hacking girls with 'game' and faking high t or high status with learning how to act and sculpt special parts of your body brings a noticable increase in hedonism. But there is a thing called hedonic adaption and this is why people doing this can never be happy, not to mention we are running out of time as a community and being replaced by third world.

[–]kekulekule 2 points3 points  (0 children)

one of best comments i read on reddit.

[–]Guerilla713[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Fucking gold comment. Copying and saving this. This is what I meant by the mindless sex thing. Sex is fun but it can also become boring if there's no mutual attraction and you aren't trying to pass your genes

[–]Velebit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Well a large part of population is shallow and shortsighted. I am not religious but I also dont really need theology or even metaphysics to want a higher goal.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Are you pulling all these dates off Tinder or something? I've experienced a similar scenario multiple times, where chicks were the complete opposite I thought they were in real life.

Anyway, it sounds like you're operating on their frame if you feel like they have higher SMV. A good way to overcome that is to have abundance mentality, and to take pussy off the pedestal. Treat all women the same. Prioritizing one over another will only lead to oneitis and won't help you.

[–]Guerilla713[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

The cold approached ones are the women that I can't get past date 1 (and one time I actually had 2 dates). Don't really have a problem getting multiple dates from the same girl on Tinder but it's happened a few times where they don't want anything after the 1st date (and on my end too). Really only 6 months into this cold approach game so I'll score eventually

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

There might be something wrong with your game then. You may need to escalate more and be more sexual. Raise sexual tension and invite them to your place.

[–]Guerilla713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're probably right. Guess that's because with Tinder you know what you're getting into. Whereas girls from openers are a little less predictable so I don't escalate as quickly. But in the end, it's all the same

[–]Guerilla713[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Funny. Woman from Saturday just texted me back and then asked if I'm free. It's looking up already bros. Abundance mentality is real lmao

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 2 points3 points  (2 children)

We made out, but I just didn't care and didn't want to lead her on either. She has texted me multiple times a day since then.

Is she cute? She might well like your DGAF attitude.

: Thought I was finally winning.

Maintain a "let's see where this goes" attitude. ALWAYS. Even if you've been seeing her 20 years. But yeah, this sounds like a no-go.

At the end when I walked her to her car, we hugged and kissed multiple times.

I text her today and she says no chemistry and we probably won't hang out again. I respond with "ok" :(

Ok. Ah well, shit happens.

In future: multiple venues, touch her, DO NOT KISS her. Maintain sexual tension, don't release with kissing.

I have more lined up already for tomorrow and then this weekend so we'll see how it goes

This will get better for you if you stick with it. You'll learn to escalate better, keep your options open, commit less, etc. Stick in there.

[–]Fapisluv 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Is it better to go for the kiss in the first date or not? Kissing works for me, but i wonder if I am missing something i could be doing better.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it works for you, keep doing it.

It works for me too.

But if you're not getting second dates, ditch it.

[–]beginner_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was also looking forward to the next day's (Saturday) date I had with a woman who before I'd consider out of my league

Here you have your issue. You don't have abundance for women as hot as this one and they smell it.

[–]manwithoutwire 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Read Sex God Method, I'd recommend the whole book minus the fantasies chapter. There is a brief section on Open Relationships near the end of the book that explains how to pretty much turn women into casual sex partners for long periods of time. Good read.

[–][deleted]  (9 children)

[deleted]

[–]Guerilla713[S] 13 points14 points  (4 children)

About 10 girls I've hung with over the past two months.

Never had a LTR and I'm 26. I guess I've gotten more attractive with the weight loss, stable career, and my own hobbies. Have had more action in six months this year than the past 3 years combined. I'm just not attracting the women I want yet

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

    [–]Guerilla713[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

    I've been doing about that many on the dates. Had 3 dates alone this past weekend (Fri, Sat, and Sun). I probably need to ask more girls out. It's tough juggling even this many for me right now but I got to do it if I want to find someone to connect with. Mindless sex can be fun but can be boring at times if there's no attachment

    [–]LeftAndRed 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    You should be opening 4 times the number of girls you go on dates with. You should open girls you will never call because it will make you better, trust me. Try out new things on them. As you get better at opening you will gain attraction earlier.

    [–]Blackhawk2479 1 point2 points  (3 children)

    You’re a billion short bro.

    [–]rcwhitaker 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Read the post after that, dude literally can't do math but is giving a talk on "volume" when his all time peak numbers roughly match OP's

    [–]Blackhawk2479 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    No, the ~4 girls he was opening in a week were not the same girls he was going on dates with.

    You don’t stop opening just because you’re getting dates. Always be opening.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 23 points24 points  (6 children)

    Maybe start treating those you're interested in exactly as you do those who you are not interested in.

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      The bad thing is that I still want to get the pedestaled girl. That’s neediness obviously. Don’t say me “next” her because...

      It never cease surprising me that we men can really be staring at the evidence right in front of us, realizing fully well that it is the evidence, and yet your ego is so strong we will still refuse to acknowledge that it is the evidence.

      You tell it yourself for fucks' sake! Your neediness is what turns her off. You must stop "needing" her.

      Don’t say me “next” her because it doesn’t truly sound like alpha-ish since...

      See that neediness expressing itself through intense rationalization. You need her so bad you're inventing reasons why you shouldn't do the only thing you are fully aware you need to do.

      Totally open to advices

      Here's an advice to you if you want to get her. The only one that will work: stop trying to get her, ghost her, force yourself forgetting her until you actually don't give a fuck about her anymore and she's just a distant memory, then stay in that state for 3 to 5 years, which is the minimum amount of time needed for her to stop thinking of you as "that needy guy who, by this neediness, clearly demonstrates he is way lower value than her". And then after a few years if you're lucky and she stopped thinking that way, when she contacts you again to catch up, restart from scratch with non-neediness at the core of your interaction with her.

      If it sounds like a lot of work, it's because it is. And if you think that when you truly don't give a fuck about her, you would logically not put that much effort into getting her, you'd be right.

      [–]ariky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Hey yo thanks for answering. I had cut contact with her for 2 years. No contact. No social media, erased her phone number. She seems she won’t contact with me in the future 😂

      Btw, I remember back in the days I’ve got oneitis like I was 15 and I have forced myself to remember what she looked like. So I know how it feels when she is off the pedestal. I’m 25 now. For that girl, having other girls helped so much that I easily forget about her. But now, I had 3 gf and 3 more other girls. Still not feel happy about the situation.

      Side Note: I’m a virgin 😂 I don’t want girls to have sex with them though I’ve got many chances for it. When they want only sex, it just irritates me immediately. Of course I will have sex but I’m a muslim and this is my life and my truths. (I don’t know how TRP community handles muslims but I’m a very open minded guy. Being a good human is the only thing I seek from people. I don’t care about the religions of individuals. TRP is also suits well with some of the subjects of Islam and my life is better after taking TRP)

      So this is self explanatory. When she is finally off the pedestal, I won’t even remember her nor want her even if she want me back.

      It also supports the philosophy of “its only your turn.” I mean, when we get a girl, it’s not because we wanted to get her -contradicting to “alpha gets whenever he wants, whoever he wants “ - it is just because it’s our turn then?

      [–]RivenHalf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      The bad thing is that I still want to get the pedestaled girl. That’s neediness obviously. Don’t say me “next” her because it doesn’t truly sound like alpha-ish since a true alpha can cure himself and get whatever girl he wants.

      You're hiding your ego under delusions. I'm not saying this to sound superior to you but because I can relate to it. It's something I've had to fight within myself. Don't delude yourself into thinking you can be "alpha" enough to get any women because ironically it will only lead you into some very blue pill mindsets and chasing. Red Pill teaches you when to walk away, not how to keep pushing. You are rationalizing.

      [–]itsdir0 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      Maybe start treating those you're interested in exactly as you do those who you are not interested in.

      This is gold. Could you make a topic on main sub more elaborated about this?

      [–]kylerosa21 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      That would be awesome. A more elaborate post with a bunch of examples and a more in-depth explanation would help a lot of people out.

      That said, I think a good start would be analyzing how you interact with uglier girls. Watch how you act around them and compare it to how you act with HB8s and above. Adjust accordingly.

      [–]RaughKee 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      It's a funny conundrum, the chicks you aren't attracted to bring out the better DGAF attitude and you become more attractive. You are likely, at least at the subconscious level, showing too much interest in the ones you are attracted to and it's lowering your SMV.

      [–]blister333 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      This is so me. I’ve had this thought before too

      [–]chim_city 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Patrice Oneal says, "pussy is important but its not special"

      [–]Patriotic_Pachyderm 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      I have a multi-part response, I hope you work through this sticking point.

      1. The people you like don't like you, yet the people you don't like end up liking you. This is actually how attraction works because women "marry up." For any given man, I think they have a pretty small pool of women they would be "satisfied" with. So that is normal, no reason to freak out about that.

      2. Because you are actually "interested" in the girl you want, it can fuck up your game. For the girls you don't like, there is less pressure on the date and you are probably displaying an IDGAF attitude. Girls like it when you don't care about them (most of the time).

      3. This is my own personal view, so take it with a grain of salt, but I don't think you are respecting the process. You are focusing on the goal (high SMV woman) when you should be respecting the process of getting better. You should make one of these girls you are not interested in into your plate. Get sex on tap which will (a) cool down your anxiety/neediness which translates into better performance on dates with other women and (b) increase your experience managing women. If you are on a date with a woman and thinking about a date you may have with another woman on another day, you are definitely not respecting the process.

      4. You say it is tough juggling, and I feel you brother. You REALLY have to increase your scheduling and time management skills, especially if you want to keep some plates going or even just want to be in an LTR with a high-quality woman. After a long time of doing this, it can still be difficult to schedule and remember everything.

      [–]Guerilla713[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This is great. Thanks

      [–]NewHum 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Yeah this will happen and it has happened to me many times. There will be times when you have women to chose from but cannot get the one you actually like.

      It’s frustrating and brutal but it’s fine. As others have said there are literally billions of other girls out there for you to be with so it’s not a big deal.

      It’s also probably the case that you have convinced yourself that she is way better than she actually is. Emotion have clouded your judgment and emotions really don’t matter in the long run.

      Make a list of all the things you find anoying or of putting about her and you’ll quickly find out that she is far less perfect and awesome as you though she is.

      Just move on, remind yourself that emotions are just chemicals in your brains and that there are always better girls out there

      [–]VengefullyY0urs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Don’t date girls you aren’t interested in, once you get your abundance mentality down.

      [–]NewBoomAction 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Don't get caught up with oneitis. Abundance my brother. So. Many. Hot. Chicks.

      It's a #'s game.

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Either work on your market value and up ur game, or lower your standards. It’s up to you

      [–]Casanova-Quinn 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      The ones I'm not interested in contact me repeatedly after the first date.

      How do you act around the girls you're not interested in?

      That's how you should act with the girls you are interested in.

      [–]ariky 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Hey I cant even figure out how I act when the girls interested in me more then I’m interested in them. That just happens.

      I only know that I initiate interest (text her first or go talk with her for the first time. Ignition process, you know)

      Then the thing goes skkraaa. They start calling texting touching tryna have dates.

      I really can’t analyze myself during the times. I really wanna know what I do so well that I could get the girls I’m not that interested.

      They are min 7s btw. I can’t be with less then 7s. They have other guys chasing them.

      Throw some help please

      [–]Casanova-Quinn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I don't know your specific situation, but generally men act more confident, funny, and natural around women they don't like. They're not nervous because they don't care what she thinks. They act like they're talking to a male friend.

      [–]rijeka1 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Follow Corey Wayne

      [–]Velebit 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I found the guys speech style rambling and unfocused. Every time I try to listen to him, I start thinking about something else. Alpha Male Strategies can keep my attention from start to finish and makes his points absolutely clear and simple.

      [–]rijeka1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Sometimes he isn’t articulate but surely he’s the best out for woman and life coaching. He’s more LTR focused which can be maneuvered for pick up.

      [–]adamantiumvibranium 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Remember there are no unicorns it seems like to keep looking for something your never going to find. The faster you next the ones you like the sooner you have them chasing after you.

      [–]ariky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      It was delicious to read all of this. So first of all thanks for your time. I was a bit disappointed thinking TRP is the thing but not the community, now I feel better because there are people like you. Thanks bro.

      I try to get the balance in between individual and communal things in my life. Looks like I have been doing right.

      [–]Whitetallandhandsome 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Those who show lack of interest probably saw you acting too needy, while with those who were not interesting for you noticed you DGAF attitude and made them more attracted to you.

      That's my first impression at least.

      [–]RivenHalf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Not much to be said that hasn't already so to keep it clean and simple: Treat them all the same because they are all the same

      [–]Guerilla713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      And you know, maybe this is a reality check to show that I haven't "made it" and am nowhere near where I want to be or what my potential is/can be. The ego did get bruised a little this morning but that'll build back up quickly

      [–]wawakaka -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

      Maybe you have unrealistic expectations

      Are you going for women out of your league

      Obviously some women like you what is wrong with them

      Maybe you not as high as you think

      [–]Guerilla713[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yeah I may not be yet but I have to be getting higher if I'm now at least getting dates with girls who I use to consider out of my league. These girls with higher SMV wouldn't even respond to me, give me a second look if I cold approached, or give out their number but I'm getting that now. Maybe just need more practice since they get gamed on more and continue to lose weight to be more attractive physically.