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Started sobbing after boxing class. Not sure what is wrong with me. How to handle? (self.asktrp)

submitted by Aeyriolan

Trying to understand and handle this situation.

Started my self improvement journey and did a boxing class this morning. Was going okay, felt generally disheartened and then i got hit pretty hard in the jaw. From then on i felt like a little boy, wanted to go home and cry. Felt like i was a bout to break down the entire time. Sobbed in the car on my way home for a good 15 minutes before getting myself composed.

Not sure what happened or why and how I should handle it...is this normal?


[–]Endorsed Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil 84 points85 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you were overloaded with stress in a way you were not accustomed to. Nothing to be ashamed of.

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

That happens when you get hit by something (physical or non-physical) in a way you didn't anticipate. Your brain is on high alert because it received a strong input with potentially dangerous consequences. Enjoy it your brain is on high alert. I've found I learn faster whenever something like this happens. It's your call to action to change things up.

[–]ReddJive 24 points25 points  (0 children)

stress.

was it the first time you've ever been hit?

Remember. We can't stop the physical reactions to stress and emotions. Tears, sweating, shakes, flight or fight stuff. All you can do is experience it and reduce the effects until you are used to it.

Still these are not laws that control you. You do have choice. If you are in a good gym they will understand AS LONG AS you get back up and face it again. It's all men can do and it's all that's expected.

[–]ShotgunTRP 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Mad cortisol spike and crash. Hormones are brutal.

Getting your levels tested can’t hurt

Depression can be brutal. You have to be real honest with yourself. If it’s really insanely bad constantly you should get mental health treatment.

Sometimes. That can have the opposite effect and just suck money out of you for no gains.

Stick to your training routine, get your diet right, get your t levels checked. Strive to make gains in your life, anything. Physical financial emotional... if shit still sucks ass and you want to neck yourself get professional help.

[–]BurnieSlander 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Taking a hit to the jaw is much different than a normal punch in the face. Men can take full force punches direct to the head and only be dazed- but even a glancing blow to the chin can knock out a tough guy. That’s why fighters call the chin “the button”.

You had a physiological reaction to minor trauma- so don’t worry about it too much. I doubt you would have the same reaction if it happened again.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar 12 points13 points  (0 children)

A couple months ago, I was in a period of expansion: kicking ass in a new business, on top of my personal discipline. I was taking an ice-cold shower, and just started bawling in the shower. No idea where that came from.

Sometimes, when you're taking courageous action, you can dislodge old, unprocessed emotions. It happens. Just don't cry in front of anybody.

[–]FlyingSexistPig 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Don't worry about it. You're maturing.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is completely normal. It's from the rush of hormones from the stress of throwing yourself in the deep end when you aren't used to it. You'll get used to it soon, and that rush of stress won't be nearly as severe.

I know it probably made you feel like a pussy and all of this, but it's actually the opposite. This is your brain getting jarred into non-pussy mode. Don't worry about it. It's a good thing in this case.

[–]OrphanedVigilante 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That's bitchass-ness leaving the body. Keep fighting and you'll start smiling instead of crying.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Normal. You’ve been conditioned to believe that if you’re getting punched it’s because you’re wrong or a wimp. Now that you’re training in combat sports this mental response will phase out fast.

[–]cirrusice 3 points4 points  (0 children)

https://youtu.be/dC1yHLp9bWA?t=1m46s

Keep going. I did sanda kickboxing for 2 years, the first few weeks were tough but after that my limbs stopped hurting.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is a good thing. Keep at it. Trauma growth. Keep at in, get used to it, and you'll be ready when a fight happens for real.

[–]MrGoodStuff05 2 points3 points  (4 children)

I'm going to point out something I don't think I've seen anyone mention from skimming all the replies.

So this was your first class and they had you sparring?

Doesn't seem like a good way to start. All the gyms I've been to have you train for at least a month before any kind of sparring to protect not only yourself, but also your partner since as a beginner you don't know how to hold back and you could lose your cool as well.

I would look into a different gym. It just sounds like some bully in your gym wanted an ego boost.

Not to talk shit about anyone on this thread but I doubt half of the people here saying to "toughen up" have ever stepped inside a boxing gym.

[–]ShotgunTRP 1 point2 points  (3 children)

No one said toughen up. Everyone has been supportive in a manly way.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Definitely some of the most masculine encouragement I've ever seen is in this thread.

[–]MrGoodStuff05 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Not those exact words, but that was the point.

[–]ShotgunTRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my first week we did no contact sparring and sometimes a cheeky shot can slip through

After a month a trainer in mma class demonstrated a double into the cage and winded the fuck out of me

In the jungle some shits gonna happen

What doesnt kill makes stronger

[–]Drakonlord 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just means your growing man. When I lived in a martial arts dojo there where 4-5 times in a year where I just started sobbing for no apparent reason. At that moment youre becoming something new, the old you is dying. The old is comfort and security the new is adventure and risk. Its intimidating.

Youre doing what others wont. Keep pushing through.

[–]DrivenGorilla 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As someone who has boxed for several years and received a whole host of benefits through the sport I urge you to carry on boxing.

In response to your question, I wouldn't worry about it too much. There is nothing more humbling than combat sports and there will always be someone out there who will almost effortlessly dismantle you. I've had a very similar experience to you and eventually you learn that that feeling - "felt like a little boy" - isn't a reason to feel disheartened or quit boxing, it's the exact reason why you should keep on hammering. Embrace it.

Nothing makes a man like adversity. Be humble, keep learning, get better.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorRian_Stone 9 points10 points  (0 children)

For children, yes.

Go get hit again another few dozen times. Get your T levels up. Parent's forgot to teach you how to accept failure. That's on them, up to you to fix it

Remember, theres only two things a man cannot fake, sex and violence. The same way that the lack of sex makes a guy into an angry MRA whining about it, a punch in the face will crumble ones faux self esteem.

But normally, a hit to the nose will have your eyes start watering, though it should stop before you get in the car to drive home

[–]punkbastard25 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's only something wrong with you if you are no longer going to go after just one hit. That should not be the reason you quit. You only quit if you genuinely find it boring and would rather develop a new interest. Im a fellow boxing gym member and I have to say getting hit in the face gives me the opposite strong emotions. Being beaten up is humbling to me and I feel so much pride to have taken punishment and carried on. If you are like me the skill is not there yet maybe you might never grasp it properly but remember boxing classes are fast paced and explosive and are extremely effective in improving physical fitness. I used to struggle running to the other side of my neighbourhood and back and now I run to the other side of town. I used to struggle to do a count down rep (10 then 9 all the way down to 1) of push ups now I do 25, and lose five each time then when Im on ten I just do a few more of that. I was 16st 4lbs I am now growing in muscle weight from 14st. Get running as soon as you feel that you have better stamina as well.

[–]Dethklokk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your reaction is normal especially if you are new to martial arts. I think Joe Rogan mentioned it on his podcast that what he enjoys the most about jiu jitsu is that when he loses, he knows that a couple thousand years ago it meant death but now it means you can improve. So there is a primal reaction to losing in any form of fighting. Learn from it. Get better. There were days when I first started Muay Thai were I would feel like crying after practice. Then one day my coach (4-0 in our state mma circuit, ex military) told us a story about the training leading to his first fight. He wasn't good on the ground but his stand-up was excellent. He was a blue belt and he was rolling with a purple. He got pinned and couldn't get him off of him. He got up, went to the locker room and cried "like a bitch". Dust yourself off and get back in the ring.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are growing. Next time you get hit, it wont feel as bad.

[–]juggernaut8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your first boxing class and you get punched in the jaw? That really shouldn't happen.

[–]jackandjill22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea.

[–]Andgelyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not about how hard you can hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward- Rocky Balboa (some rocky movie I forget which one)

May not have anything to do with your situation, just wanted to say it lol

[–]htbf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good. Don't be afraid to be vulnerable in front of yourself. Only then can you be in touch with your truth.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper 0 points1 point  (2 children)

You were a coward and a pussy.

Notice I didn't say "are". I said "were".

Whatever you are doing is what you are. It is our actions that define us. Resolve to do better tomorrow.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

ahhh the sweet sound of surrender

surrender the past, surrender your need to be perfect, surrender your ego

[–]FireTempered 0 points1 point  (0 children)

surrender. Yes.

[–]alchamest 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When i started martial arts, i had similar reactions to being hit in the face/nuts.

Each time you get hit, it affects you less emotionally. You will harden physically from martial arts, you will also harden emotionally.

[–]kendallb183 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You got physically hit... that causes huge reactions in the body. If you've lived a kush ads life, it may be the first time ever you've been hit. Your brains like wtf. Wht matters is you were man enough to go to begin with. The question is, are you man enough to go again?

I once knew a kid who would cry while he literally whopped your ass... The adrenalin was over whelming for him... once he started crying it triggered a shame spiral he could only solve by unleashing his rage by beating the fuck out of what caused it. Didn't stop the crying... but anywho.

Go back, thirsty for knowledge. Expect to get hit, expect to freak out, but most of all expect that no matters what happens you will be ok. Your ok now, but if you just quit, you will absolutely hit your own self esteem. You will know you quit cause you couldn't handle the stress. However, accomplishment isn't doing easy shit and bragging about it. Accomplishment is knowing something is difficult but mastering it anyways. When you know you went back anyway, you will be proud of yourself.

[–]bitterconsultant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's normal - I'm a strong guy who's been in a fair few fights. There are times that I get overloaded like you and feel like a little boy who wants to go home to cry. Happened most recently when I was scolded by one of the Partners at my firm like I was a little worthless child.

[–]DesperateChemical 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Keep fighting. Make sure you go back to the gym tomorrow, and try to get some sparring in. You grow in strength and confidence by action and exposure. You are on the right path.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not normal, that was a hard fucking hit that broke open some old emotional boil in you.

But you survived, didn't you? And more than that, took it like a man and then later were able to reflect about what the fuck happened to learn from it. You didn't try to bury it, never to be spoken of again.

Take those lacerations with gratitude, the pus leaked out of whatever it was, now it is in the process of healing. Without the hard hits, it'd be festering in you and poisoning everything slow without you ever knowing it's there.