How to handle bigger people picking on you? (self.asktrp)

submitted by themangu6

So if i go to parties I tend to get picked on and some times big meatheads try to bully me cause im a small dude. I know I should just keep lifting and train jiu jitsu, but how do I react to someone who can noticeably kick my ass if I retaliate?

[–]microgum 84 points85 points  (8 children)

Ignore it or go into mental attacks.

I'm 5'5, 17, 160, so I'm not really big compared to a 6 foot guy that's 200+.

Had a 6'2 guy walk up to my bench that I was near and start lifting, told him politely that I was using it and that he'd be fine to work in. He denied, said that he didn't see me using it so he'll be using it. I laughed at him, told him to fuck off, and he proceeded to do so.

Many people don't get past that phase, they think they can bully people younger or not on their same physical plane and when they get confronted by that person they pussy down because they haven't made it that far before.

Same reason old scientists can stare down gorillas and they'll run away.

[–]4TBhdd 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Tall guy here. I actually envy shorter guys for the ease with which they are able to pack on muscle. For me it's a constant struggle. Take note in public... most tall guys below age 40 are underweight. (edit: At about 40yo is when everyone starts to get a lot of bodyfat and it evens out)

[–]drqxx 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Truth be told. This is red pill fact!

[–]resnine 18 points19 points  (2 children)

I am a tall a guy and I can't tell you the number of times I've had a conversation with someone. Then after the conversation is over ask one of my friends "how tall was that guy?" only to find out he was much shorter than me, while I thought he was the same height. The thing is, his FRAME was huge. Some people have this way about them where by talking to them they can make it appear that they are much taller. Examples are Tom Cruise and Robert Downey Jr, these guys are laughably short, but you'd never guess it by their presence.

[–]throwawayforerab 3 points4 points  (1 child)

RDJ is 5'9". An inch below average is laughably short?

[–]resnine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thought he was shorter. No 5'9" isn't short per se. Although most would think he is taller by his movie persona.

[–]No1Buck 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Many people don't get past that phase, they think they can bully people younger or not on their same physical plane and when they get confronted by that person they pussy down because they haven't made it that far before.

Same reason old scientists can stare down gorillas and they'll run away

What happens when they call your bluff though?

[–]microgum 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Still mental game.

I’m not going to fight over a bench so if he gets aggressive I’d simply say that he can beat my ass but that’s not going to make him any more likeable to anybody here.

That has worked once before because people that are eager to fight are insecure.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Giving yourself a meaner look helps as well.

Last week a douchebag looking bro that would've intimidated me a while back took one of my weights while I was looking for more weights. I gave him one nod to put it back and he came back apologising.

My ego has endorsements now.

[–]JordanRedfort 15 points16 points  (4 children)

If you think you’re the first person on r/TheRedPill who’s short, you’re completely mistaken. Here are three posts from the past year going into a lot of detail.

Reading 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/8q72pm/heightrelated_red_pills_from_a_short_man/?st=JJCTIQ55&sh=8023676f

Reading 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/84fho8/tips_for_short_dudes/?st=JJCTJQUA&sh=f9c1493e

Reading 3: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5l25um/how_a_shortguy_can_be_more_masculine_in_the_eyes/?st=JJCTKXJ2&sh=b6005df6

Read these and the relevant comments. If you’ve still got questions, ask away.

[–]1DonaldBaelish 3 points4 points  (3 children)

That's a pretty interesting username.

[–]JordanRedfort 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Wish I could say the same for you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

was that an attempt at a zinger

[–]Zahlix 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I am 6'4 and whenever I see a tall guy pick on someone because of size, all I see is insecurity. It is pathetic to say the least.

You must be pretty intimidating if a "tall meathead" picks on you because of your size. Seems like he couldn't find anything decent to attack you.

Sorry I have no idea how to respond, I wish you find something to make him look like an ass.

[–]Plimden 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Just hold frame, if you get overly nervous before a confrontation you will lose the confrontation; physical or mental.

So what if they can physically dominate you? If he picks a fight with a smaller guy, he looks bad, but thats not an excuse to have small man syndrome and provoke him.

Just be chill and move on.

[–]fignootins 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know I should just keep lifting and train jiu jitsu

This is the best you're going to get. I don't know how far you are on your journey but once you've been lifting and doing bjj for a couple years you should be able to hold your own quite well.

[–]mywifeson 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Deflect deflect deflect. Sarcasm is your best friend. The one good thing about being raised by a verbally abusive father was he made me a fucken smart ass LOL

Never back down from a fignt, but don’t look for them either

[–]Drivium 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Spoken like Mac

[–]JamesP2018 13 points14 points  (3 children)

If you are alot smaller than them they will still tear you apart, don't let the "I know kungfu" bullshit get to your head. There is a reason why weight classes were developed.

Train your wit, don't take their shit personally, dream bigger than the benefits being the king of your current social circle would bring you. The highest value males at those parties have bigger plans than to just dominate those social scenes, be like them, dream beyond that stuff.

[–]mywifeson 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Someone who trains Jui Jitsu will always handle someone who is untrained

I did wrestling for 4 years and that’s my preferred method after boxing. In my personal experience, I caught big guy off guard when he tried to tackle me to the floor LOL

Best thing about being the smaller opponent is they aren’t expecting much and are in for a surprise if you train anything. The big guy meme doesn’t matter if you’re uncoordinated and only know to street brawl

[–]Irishminer93 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Someone who is trained in jj might not know that the guy who is picking on them is trained in, krav maga as an example. So unless they've already initiated a full on fight, it's better to use your head instead of your fists.

[–]JamesP2018 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's good to train, keep your cwp up to date.

[–]zboo1h 3 points4 points  (0 children)


But in reality, bullies are chicken shits. Act like you've got a pair and they'll step down.

[–]javixm 4 points5 points  (19 children)

I should just keep lifting and train jiu jitsu, but how do I react to someone who can noticeably kick my ass if I retaliate?

Nobody can kick your ass if you take at least 6 months of jiu jitsu (4-5 classes per week, every week).

By that time you'll be used to rolling with huge guys every day.

Just pull guard and put him in a triangle. Easy as fuck if you practice a lot.

Unless you're picking fights with someone who knows more jiu-jitsu than you, you'll always win.

[–]WalkingProduct 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Ouch. I'm kind of new here and a big wakeup call was when I read (4-5 classes a week) and thought "I cant do that". Gotta get my shit together

[–]javixm 1 point2 points  (2 children)

"I cant do that".

Unless you're missing limbs, you have no excuse.

[–]WalkingProduct 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I dont have am excuse, I just get so demotivated and shit.

[–]javixm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Motivation's got nothing to do with it.

It's discipline.

Are you motivated to brush your teeth in the morning? No, right? You just do it.

Same with jiu-jitsu. Just go.

[–]abudun79 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Besides that your claims are naive bullshit, the next thing that happens, after he does this, is coming back and asking if he lost frame by doing so.

And everyone, except you, will tell him: Yes.

[–]javixm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lost frame

Wait... the guy unconscious on the ground isn't the guy who loses here?

I think frame goes out the window once a real fight starts, and the winner of the fight is who wins.

[–]wrightedgeworthy -1 points0 points  (9 children)

Let me see you rolling on the floor while I throw dumbbell to your face and smash you with 50kg weight

[–]javixm 0 points1 point  (8 children)


Someone's never been put in a triangle before.

[–]wrightedgeworthy -1 points0 points  (7 children)

Someone never had multiple 5kg dumbbells threw into his face as hard as possible from distance by bigger guys

[–]javixm 0 points1 point  (6 children)

Ever tried throwing dumbells without using your arms?

How are you gonna throw something if you're suck on the ground with me?

And even if you wanna try, maybe using telekinesis or something, that's just a quick trip to jail, son.

How dumb can you be?

It doesn't matter how big you are, you never fight someone who knows more jiu-jitsu than you. We've known since 1993. I don't think you got the memo.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]javixm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    In 1993 was the first time we tested all martial arts against each other in a no rules tournament.

    Royce Gracie, a skinny, not super athletic or strong dude, came in with Brazilian Jiu-jitsu and beat everyone else.

    The tournament was called The Ultimate Fighting Championship.

    From that moment on, everyone else knew they had to learn jiu-jitsu to compete properly in this thing.

    It later added some rules (that I hate), like the small gloves, 5min rounds, etc, and it's now known as the UFC.

    It's no longer a sport to determine which martial art is the best one, because we already know which one. It's now about who's the best athlete at the sport itself, and 25 years into it, Brazilian Jiu-jitsu is still at the center of it.

    Yes, some athletes choose Greco-Roman wrestling instead for their ground game, but the finishing techniques (for submissions) are all still straight out of Brazilian Jiu-jitsu.

    The UFC even spawned a new wave of BJJ that's focused on training in normal workout clothes, without the traditional judo gi (kimono), to better simulate what will happen inside the octagon in a fight.

    To me, one of the greatest fighters in the UFC was Conor McGregor (we don't know if he's retired or wtf is going on), and his loss to Nate Diaz in 2016 proved for the 1000th time what we learned in 1993. Conor made the mistake of taking the fight to the ground against a BJJ black belt and lost the fight less than 1min after his stupid mistake.

    Next time around he did all he could to keep the fight standing, and that's how he won the rematch. However, Nate did get him to the ground in the final seconds of the final round. If the fight had gone on for 1 more minute, Conor would've lost that one too. It's not that Conor sucks at jiu-jitsu, it's just that Nate is a black belt and Conor is only brown I think.

    But this all goes back to 1993 and the night that changed our knowledge of fighting forever.

    Now, the UFC is still a sport, and there's a ref in there to stop the fight and save you before you get killed. If you fight someone on the street that knows Brazilian Jiu-jitsu, you'll only walk out alive if the guy doesn't want to kill you, or if there's people around to stop it before you get choked to death.

    If you wanna see how BJJ works on the street, just search for "BJJ street" on YouTube and you'll see hundreds of videos of people getting fucked up by jiu-jitsu.

    [–]wrightedgeworthy -1 points0 points  (3 children)

    I'll listen to your regret from trying to do BJJ instead of running away against bigger guy with throwing weapon from your hospital bed 'dad'

    [–]javixm 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    throwing weapon

    Wait... I can dodge punches at full speed up close, but I can't dodge a heavy object you throw at me from a distance?


    Dude, you're next level stupid, and you've clearly never fought a real fighter before.

    Here's just one example of what a fight looks like when the smaller guy knows jiu-jitsu.

    [–]wrightedgeworthy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Please say that you'll dodge bullet as well when I shot at you

    [–]javixm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    If you pull a gun out, you're going to jail, idiot.


    I've been on this site a long time, and I think you've won the award for the stupidest person I've encountered.

    [–]takobozu -1 points0 points  (2 children)

    in your fantasy world perhaps

    [–]javixm -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    in your fantasy world perhaps

    Yes, the UFC is fantasy hahaha

    [–]takobozu 0 points1 point  (0 children)


    [–]sd4c 8 points9 points  (5 children)

    How to handle bigger people picking n you?

    Get ahold of a commercial stun gun. Modify it so it’s at law-enforcement levels. Now get another and do it again. Tape them together.

    Ask around and see if a friend or relative practices law. If not, hit Yelp, make an appointment and bring a check for $2500 to an attorney who practices criminal law. You want an older female, if at all possible. Put her on retainer with the money. Get her card and memorize her phone number.

    Next time a guy touches you, or threatens to, create an opening, and put him in the hospital. Do not kill him.

    The police will arrive. Do not talk to them, other than your name and address. They will lie to you, promising or implying to release you if you admit wrongdoing. Do no such thing. You will go to jail. Call your attorney. Because you do not have a public defender, in a few days you will recieve a plea deal. Take it. Do your time like a man. Nothing happens in county. That’s why you got a lawyer.

    Find a way to make sure everyone and their dead grandmother know that you put Ogre in the hospital. Act like it was no big deal, like putting away the groceries or something.

    Make sure every woman under 30 you meet finds out that you were arrested for agg assault. Enjoy the avalanche of easy sex. Wear condoms even with the pretty ones. Don’t get attached to any of them.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)


      [–]themangu6[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      I considered your advice until you said get leg lengthening. Fuckkkk that

      [–]wrightedgeworthy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Sounds like so many stupid effort instead of buying a gun

      [–]Wheysteve 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This is fantastic advice.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      As a former walking insult dumpster, the biggest difference between me now and me 7 years ago is inner acceptance and outtee judgement.

      My default perspective used to be, "how am i gonna be fucked with today?". I was full of anxiety and i was miserable.

      These days its, "im a pretty alright guy. Most people are chill af. Some people wont like me and thats ok. And if there are ever people out there who are gonna clown me before they even know me, then theyre huge aspie incels with tiny peckers".

      If u walk into every interaction like they're already youre long time bro (even if they're girls), 99% of your interactions will be awesome. This is coming from someone whos 5'6.

      [–]ronswanson3322 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Take up MMA/boxing. That’s what I did. I’m 5’6-5’7 135-140lbs, after learning how to fight you walk around knowing you’re most likely the bad ass in the room and size doesn’t really matter anymore.

      [–]FleshPanda 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Learn jujitsu and duck their ass up

      [–][deleted]  (5 children)


      [–]shenkutez 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Yeah, this ain’t it chief

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      What if the judge doesn’t except your bribe?

      [–]NitricTV 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      This the wave

      [–]SmamelessMe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Depends on how far you want to take it.

      If it is persistent bullying by the same people, the best you can do is put up enough fight for them to find someone else to bother.

      You can't win, but you can fight so you cause the most amount of pain (and non-permanent damage) possible. Yes, you will get fucked up more than the other guy, but as long as you can make the whole ordeal painful for him, and show that you are able to deliver more in future, he will think twice whether more pain is worth fucking with you specifically.

      Wouldn't recommend the same strategy to randos you won't meet again. But if you trust your skill, try working on your "presentation", conveying the idea of the previous paragraph in verbal and non-verbal communication. I.e.: "Yeah, you might kick my ass, but it will hurt you. Maybe not as much as it will hurt me, but if you try something, you're not leaving scot-free from it."

      Full disclaimer: the last time I was unfortunate enough to have to use this was early high-school. You'd be surprised how much pain can a scrawny little fuck like me cause to big bad bully. Even if he gets tied in a knot in the process. But seriously. Reconsider who you're associating with, that they invite people like that to their parties.

      [–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Your center of gravity is lower which is an advantage in a fight...

      [–]wrightedgeworthy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      an advantage as in the bigger guy can just punch down while you have to jump just to punch his face?

      [–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Lower centre of gravity is an advantage for wrestling

      [–]mugenowns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      How do you know they can noticeably kick your ass? Take one of those meat heads to BJJ and see how much their bench press matters. Hell, see how easily they get gassed out and then are just meat for the picking during a fight.

      I'd also like to mention you don't have to be able to win every fight and you don't have to be convey that. All you have to convey is that the fight might leave them with a broken wrist or a black eye.

      Just standing up for yourself is half the battle. Relax and don't give in.

      [–]StanDando 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Humour. Giving it back to them (if youre around other people). In a fight situation though, looking unpredictable/crazy works. People dont like to pick on unpredictable people.

      Even going up to them and asking something/saying something first, works, cos it shows youre not intimidated and you just see them as another person.