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What to reply when a girl suggests you buy her a drink (self.asktrp)

submitted by corsega


[–]Endorsed Contributorstickfiguresk 36 points37 points  (12 children)

The trick is to not let favors go unappreciated. Buy the girl a drink, if she needs you to. See how I phrased that? They'll stop asking, or tokens of generosity will go appreciated, when you frame it like that. It feels good to do charity, just don't let her pretend like it's not charity. Women are great at that. Learn to play the game.

To add, the reason why they can take shit like this and not feel bad about it is because they use the frame of, "this is a tribute to how awesome I am." - it feeds their ego, which they do 24/7 because they're spoiled brats.

It's absolutely disgusting behavior, but also fun as hell to throw back at them. Introduce them to humility.

"No good deed goes unpunished." Do the punishing.

[–]corsega[S] 8 points9 points  (10 children)

Not quite sure what you mean. Do you have an example?

[–]Endorsed Contributorstickfiguresk 71 points72 points  (9 children)

Let's say the check comes while you and a girl are at dinner, "Do you need me to pay for you?"

She can't pretend like you're just buying her shit as gifts. She's now a freeloader.

Or for the OP,

Tomorrow you can buy me a drink

As if it's an honor to buy her shit. Look at that phrasing. What a brat.

"I know the best bar. I'll help you out and buy you a drink, darling." You have to reset the frame. If you buy her anything, it's charity, which makes her a piece of shit, and conversely, makes you magnanimous.

[–]verify_account 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Your words are gold; thank you.

How would you respond to her saying something like

"I don't need you to pay for me, but you should because blah blah blah"?

Maybe just say okay then you cover your half?

[–]improvingme63 19 points20 points  (3 children)

"If I need to pay for your attention, you're a whore". Phrase it differently because that might get you slapped. Ask why you should need to pay for her attention

[–]Endorsed Contributorstickfiguresk 5 points6 points  (2 children)

That's called, 'nuking the hamster', and I'd phrase it something more like, "I didn't realize this was a business transaction for you!" or "Are you on the clock?"

With frame, it's always best to strike first. But when you're correcting her frame, and she's resisting, dread or nuke.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 3 points4 points  (1 child)

"Are you on the clock?"

That's a shiv.

[–]0kool74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

with poison dripping off the end of it.

[–]Late30sMasculist 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's pretty brilliant. Thanks for sharing!

[–]minnie333 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Respectfully, that doesn't sound like charity, it sounds cheap and passive aggressive; Both of which I don't think your looking for. I do believe however if it works, than she is treating you to charity as well. Lead by example. You treat it as charity, it's charity. You leave it as a transaction, it's a transaction.

[–]Smigg_e 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha I like this!

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, there is a brilliant subtlety to the way you frame this question.

[–]in_monk_mode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a great comeback but someone below suggested rounds which might favour op more in this particular case. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–]FrameWalker 23 points24 points  (1 child)

Get her a water

[–]improvingme63 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You clever fuck

[–]returnofthemackX 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You buy first round, i'll do the next

[–]Bitcoin-FTW 16 points17 points  (4 children)

I simply would have taken the lead here and sealed the deal. She is basically putting up the least amount of objectives in your way to getting laid as possible. She wants to meet you in public for one drink. "Go from there" = if you don't fuck it up we can go back to your place or mine after. I would have went with "let's do xx place at xx time on xx day." Simple.

The problem with your response is that you kind of indicate a lack of reading the subtext, which indicates that you are not confident enough to understand the subtext or not socially wise enough. She is all but agreeing to sex with you, but she needs plausible deniability that is not what she is doing. Remember that women want sex to "just happen". They also find it unattractive when you are basically asking her to confirm she would have sex with you, instead of you just assuming she will cause you are so damn alpha. By saying you are going to get a workout in, it will activate her ASD a little bit and also make her think you can't read the obvious subtext that you are getting laid.

She is clearly into you though so I think you will be ok regardless with this one. She seems thirsty.

[–]corsega[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yeah, that's good advice. If she was hotter I would have probably used your suggested reply, but I just can't be bothered. If this girl really wants to get it she can reply, if not, welp, I have 13 other numbers in my phone right now that I'm actively texting.

[–]Bitcoin-FTW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For sure. Abundance mentality in action. I like it.

The only other thing I'll say is that she does want it, clearly. I personally prefer a girl to put up the tiny bit of the "I'm not that easy" show that she did. If a girl straight up invites me over, I question her value and decision making capabilities. This girl is basically exactly the kind of attitude I look for on Tinder.

[–]TheBeardedMarxist 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Texting or fucking? My gay friend text girls all the time.

[–]minnie333 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is sound advice.

[–]Il128 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I never open with drinks or any gift.

[–]AvatarStinky 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Bartender! A water for the lady please."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's lots of funny things you can say but the point is to not buy her a drink. It's not about the money. It's about her making you out to be a beta chump who will fall all over himself to buy her something that she'll take and go sit down with her friends and drink.

My response is always, "I don't buy strangers drinks. Do you ask men you don't know to buy you things often?"

This sets the tone that you are not a beta chump and that she's on notice for having bad manners.

If she becomes a bitch or walks off then turn away from her and ignore her.

If she doesn't act like a cunt then ask her to sit down and introduce herself.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (9 children)

Just buy them a fucking drink, if you are going to get laid. I can afford a $5 drink.

Yes if you are going out and constantly buying drinks and not getting laid, then you should stop.

[–]corsega[S] 4 points5 points  (8 children)

I rarely drink, myself. I'm not interested in going out to bars and wasting time potentially fucking or not fucking women.

This girl is a 6/10 on a good day.

I don't do dates on Tinder anymore. I invite them over to my place, or I go over to theirs. Plenty of women are down, and replies like this are one of my aggressive filters. If she laughs and replies or implies she's OK with it, then we'll set a date. If no response, NEXT. On to the 2 million other women that live in my city.

[–]1HS-Thompson 3 points4 points  (1 child)

This girl is a 6/10 on a good day.

Then don't meet her and don't text her. Just stop.

Life is too fucking short.

[–]corsega[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I mean I'm like a 6/10, I have no problem with bedding solid 6s if they're DTF, I just like to put in as little effort as possible

[–]basedkitty6 0 points1 point  (1 child)

So how'd she respond?

[–]corsega[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She didn't. As expected ;-)

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

I don't live in a big city.

If you already know then why are you asking in ASKTRP?

[–]corsega[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

From theredpill rules:

If you are asking for advice for a specific scenario, or your post contains a story of something that happened to you and isn't a field report, it belongs in /r/asktrp.

[–]Spread_The_Red -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

But there is no real question here so it's basically a shitty FR?

[–]corsega[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

or your post contains a story of something that happened to you

[–]PabloEscoba 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nothing wrong with buying a girl a drink after she throws obvious iois your way. Learn to reward good behaviour.This is when you pull a little not push u noob.

[–]bowie747 1 point2 points  (6 children)

What new pics did you have?

[–]corsega[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Shirtless upper body shot showing off abs. Previously I had a group candid shirtless shot, this one I took myself with a DSLR. Was worried about it coming off as cocky but my matches and match quality have definitely increased.

It works.

[–]bowie747 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have one "candid" shirtless at the moment, considering upping the ante a little bit. It works, I agree. At the first I was concerned they'd think I was an asshole straight up. But they don't care. If you're perceived as alpha you can be an asshole

[–]nevercomment 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Can you be more specific? How many extra matches do you get now and how much more attractive are the girls?

Are they more forward now?

[–]corsega[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Matches probably doubled and girls are significantly more attractive and respond better to aggressive messaging.

[–]nevercomment 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How muscular are you? How long have you been working out?

[–]corsega[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been lifting for the last ten years. 5'8", 172 pounds, 12% bodyfat.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a kegerator, I'd tell them they win a prize for being the closest girl I matched with. Free drink on me when you get here. Worked pretty good.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try not to get too wrapped up in the "RedPill says I can't buy drinks or I'm Beta" mentality. You're switching venues frequently so just tell her "I'll get this one; you get our next one". It's an assumptive close. You do want to avoid buying drinks because that's what is expected.

[–]KhazarKhaganate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"what do I get out of it?" smile

Usually they should barter with kisses and hugs. Some might think you mean more. If they're confused then you can explain.

[–]2niczar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Turn it to your advantage, make her work for it. "So what will you do to deserve that drink?"

[–]2Bait4Me 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think even talking about buying her a drink weakens your frame. to me i see that as entitlement and would nuke the fuck out of that. "i only buy hot girls a drink" or "why do you deserve a drink?", if she gets upset and your still keen you can always retcon and say you were only joking.

[–]long-lostfriend -1 points0 points  (1 child)

"I only buy drinks for women I am fucking."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You may think that, but don't say it.