Why do we next women who don't give up sex right away. But when they do we label them as plates or not LTR material? (Serious discussion) (self.asktrp)

submitted by Bulk_king11

This may have been a discussion already if so I apologize I couldn't find it. Send me to the link and I'll delete this. If not

Why do we expect women to put out so fast but if then don't and hold out for too long we next them. But if they do put out we label them as plates/sluts and not LTR worthy?

I had a conversation with my mother last night who told me she wishes I would settle down and doesn't like the fact that I "use" women. I tried to explain to her a few things which she understood to and extent. She said "I honestly don't get why women give up sex that fast anyway why would they want to be used for one night" needless to say I changed the subject but it got me thinking.

If the man makes it clear he wants sex and she wants commitment where is the middle ground? If she waits to see if he wants to commit before giving sex and he isn't going to commit without sex first. How could this ever work?

If you were a woman in this world what would be the right way to go about things if you wanted commitment with a red pill/alpha male?

Edit: I should have worded the title different. when I say WE Im just looking for people's opinions on this. I wasn't looking for a direct answer more of a discussion

[–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (6 children)

You're confusing that people here on this subreddit have different goals. You're misunderstanding multiple concepts, pretty much just understand that the lifestyle a lot of guys here are trying to live is to have multiple girls that you have a casual relationship mostly based around sex, fun activities and low commitment. Not everyone girl is going to go for that kind of relationship so you're just trying to weed out the ones who can, which are the ones who will sleep with you because of your alpha status. And also not every guy wants to live like this. I was married and enjoyed parts of that lifestyle and I've learned a lot of about myself and what I would expect again to have a relationship last that long again.

For a girl that is LTR worthy, well you should still be getting sex, but it is in exchange for your commitment. She has to understand that one does not come without the other. And you should not give commitment until she understands that.

So for a guy like me, and I prefer LTRs to having multiple girls, I'm basically looking to keep that casual relationship while screening you to see if you'd be worthy of a relationship with me. I don't think you should consider a girl not LTR material if she puts out quickly, for me, my qualifications are for things like intelligence, personality, your contributions to my life, how much I enjoy being around you. Since you have to have this casual relationship before you decide on having a real one, it's up to you whether you think a girl is worthy of your commitment.

The caveat there is to realize when a girl is wasting your time by not putting out, if you've been seeing each other twice a week for a month and talking sometimes in between, she doesn't owe you sex no, but sex is based on attraction and if she isn't attracted to me, that's not going to come later, bye Felicia, I'll find someone else.

[–]Bulk_king11[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This definitely makes the most sense to me

[–]FrameWalker 9 points10 points  (0 children)

1) Women can't control themselves that well when theyre attracted to you. 2) there are fewer virgins over 18 than billionaires

[–]Il128 4 points5 points  (0 children)


[–]trpthrowaway2003 1 point2 points  (0 children)


What is this?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You looked at them

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I couldn't agree with you more. As you get older, your tastes change. Chasing tail at bars gets old - it's fun for a while but so unfulfilling. Having something real with a girl who is intelligent, has ambition, etc is a rewarding thing that I enjoy. I am not niaive to the fact that women have instincts that can't be denied, but just use knowledge to do what you have to do.

[–]GC0W30 17 points18 points  (6 children)

Every woman that was seriously attracted to me in my adult dating past was willing to get undressed before the mid-point of date 3.

If a woman isn't attracted to me, then I am just not going to enjoy myself as much, so I'm out.

[–]Bulk_king11[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

So say she fucks you on day 3. Would you consider a LTR with her?

[–]GC0W30 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Third date?

Third date sex is basically normal now.

It won't change my mind one way or the other.

[–]Bulk_king11[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I usually don't wait for a third date. It's no more than 2 for me. And I'm going to assume she fucks everyone that fast so I'm not going to LTR her

[–]GC0W30 10 points11 points  (0 children)

A better reason not to LTR is that LTRs are completely pointless in 2016 unless you plan on having kids.

I will continue to go through the motions A LITTLE BIT LONGER, but I have mostly given up hope.

[–]trpthrowaway2003 0 points1 point  (0 children)


What is this?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude use your noggin.

[–]Terdmuffin 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's like yin and yang. You don't want a long term thing with a girl who gives it up too easy, but if a girl never gives it up that can also be a red flag. It's more about why. If a girl is reslly into you she's gonna let you hit it.

[–]Il128 5 points6 points  (1 child)

This sub is not a "we." There are a diversity of opinions about RP and everyone is free to share them.

Me personally, I do not have LTR in a traditional sense. I have two plates, one I've been seeing for almost three years now and another plate I've been seeing just over a year and a half. I'm working on a third right now.

As far as my dating life goes, and I don't date plates, I pump and dump a couple three times a month. So I pretty much next every woman I "see."

[–]Bulk_king11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that's what I'm looking for opinions when I say "we" let me clarify

[–]LLL3peat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I take it as this. Mind you most wouldn't agree with me but whatever. We push for sex to see how far your boundaries can go. As long as with kino and escalation is working then it's all good. Progress is being made then cool.

You want commitment? I want sex too. Most commit and never get sex. People get sex without commitment. Sex overall is an exchange of goods. Are you hot enough or bring enough fun of an experience to start having sex? Or am I going to ask for commitment from you and sex everyone else and finally give it to you when you deserve it?

If we aren't fucking by the third date, it's a waste of time for me personally. No need to try and win someone over or convince them. Women have at any given time 5 guys they can message and they will keep them entertained. A woman can talk to anyone on the street and say hey let's go fuck and 98% of guys are all for it because it's a vagina between two legs. A guy can't do that as society has turned men into sexual primal beings and that's all we want.

Men who have plenty sex are seen as powerful and pre-selected. Men who have none, well, are seen as low value and why doesn't anyone else want them?

Overall it's about not wasting your time. If you are fucking in the time frame you want, cool. If not, then you realize you are wasting your time and should pursue other people.

[–]PraetereoBonobos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Life isn't black and white. If women and commitment are that 2 dimensional for you, you are going to have a bad time. People are complex and at different stages in life. If I am not looking for an LTR obviously I am not going to wait long, same goes for her. As many people have mentioned when some one gives it up fast, it is a red flag and honestly its not just a red flag for women but men as well. With that said anyone can run into that certain someone who they spark with instantly and spontaneously have sex with and when looking for an LTR, or any kind of relationship really, you need to consider more than just whether or not she slept with you on the first date.

[–]rot_barth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven't done the ONS thing since college - at my age too much to lose by sticking dick in crazy, so I like to vett them a little bit first before hitting it.

2nd Date is fine, by 3rd date if its not happening I think its not likely to and I friendzone the girl. She can be MY orbiter. Every once in a while I get surprised but I don't plan on it nor expect it. Gals who don't pass muster get nexted after the 1st or 2nd date. Just how I do it, but I'm an older dude.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From a evo-psychological standpoint, it's a mutual fitness test. From an evolutionary standpoint, sex/reproduction is a high risk activity. Pregnancy and birth are high risk and resource intensive for women. Commitment is resource intense and highly option limiting for men. So, the parties have a high incentive to engage only with the best potential mates.

For men, we need to know she truly is into us, or she's a high cuckhold risk. If she doesn't have a hard time keeping her clothes on for us, we aren't satisfying her AF desires. If she gives it up too easily to us, or others in the past, she's a cuckhold risk. We need her to have self control, but to also be highly attracted to us. A women's ability to walk that line is her fitness test.

[–]meh613 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why do we expect women to put out so fast but if then don't and hold out for too long we next them. But if they do put out we label them as plates/sluts and not LTR worthy?

Because courtship is a game and both sides need to be equally good "players". Her side is to tease but not give in. His to pursue. We -- humans -- want fuck those who are the best at this game.

Viewed in this vein, the alpha is merely he who plays this game best. The unicorn is his opposite number in the female gender.

However, generally, the alpha doesn't detect a unicorn as well as the converse. So, he has to test women till he finds his unicorn, by plating and LTRs. The parallelization of the plate phenomenon seeks only to short-circuit the time commitment required to find one's unicorn.

[–]FairlyNaive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because who the fuck needs LTR anyway?

[–]Sepean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because most men here don't want an LTR.

[–]neveragoodtime 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A girl doesn't have to give up sex to get commitment, even though most guys on here are strictly looking for sex. But if she's not looking for a one night stand, and does want commitment, then refusing sex will screen those men out for her. No big deal for her, no big deal for them, they're looking for different things. If she is instead looking for commitment from a man of value, she will have to display value to him. Sex is one of those ways, but then he might confuse her for one of the many sluts he's pumped and dumped. So regardless of giving sex or not, she must display LTR value. That means being feminine, supportive, nice. She can do all of these things without sleeping with him, and if he's interested in an LTR who is sexually conservative, he'll keep her around until she displays enough value to commit to. The conflict you're imagining is that every guy wants sex and every girl wants to remain a virgin until marriage. That simply is not true. A lot of girls want to have lots of sex, and don't want an LTR. They get along just fine with a lot of guys on here. Some girls have value beyond sex, some of them do not.

Also, don't talk to your mom about relationships.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Simple answer? Men are the prize. Women exchange sex for commitment. If she's not willing to give up the sex, then she's not willing to purchase the commitment necessary for the prize. Make sense?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had sex with my gf on our first date in the middle of the woods. It was great, she was funny, smart, caring, and hot. She still cooks/cleans/sucks my cock for me to this day and loves doing it, never argues with me either. She's a great girlfriend, the best I've had by far

[–]play_time_is_over 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Theres a thin line between hard to get and waste of time.

Most newbies can't tell the diff.

However exeperienced guys can, the hard ones are the gf materials

[–]jb_trp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know what a slut is? A slut is a woman who can't secure commitment from a man, because the only thing she has to offer a man is sex. Men will sleep with her, but not commit to her, because she doesn't have anything of depth to offer to a LTR (e.g. intelligence, kindness, personality, classic feminine traits, etc.).

Her n-count is a symptom of poor sexual strategy, but not the cause.

Sometimes you'll meet a "reformed" slut... A woman who has learned that putting out quickly won't gain a commitment. So she'll withhold sex until she gets a commitment. And men still don't commit. Why? Because she still doesn't have anything to offer them other than sex, and they're not even getting that. Many of these women tend to be bitter after years of riding the CC. These women are still sluts whether they sleep with you or not, because they're playing the same game.

I've dated a lot of girls and spun a lot of plates. I've met probably a couple women in the past two years who were LTR worthy. Most of them put out on the first date or two, but it wasn't a big deal, because they had other qualities that I thought were very good, and a lack of red flags.

[–]MrBowlfish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think we're looking at this the wrong way. I think sex takes precedence in nature over commitment. The act of sex will occur no matter what, god damnit. Unfortunately for women, I think men have the upper hand. If she doesn't put out in a reasonably quick time, she WILL be nexted by most guys. That's the harsh truth. I think women have to put out at a certain moment and then really prove themselves as quality material over time and hope he commits. Commitment is a 2nd tier, luxury pursuit in the eyes of nature; as compared to sex. Men's desires are simpler than women's.

[–]the_red_monk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see a lot of guys on here who aren't willing to consider a girl if she doesn't give it up early on. I have to say though, if a girl gives it up too easily that's going to be a red flag for me. How many other guys has she given it up for? Also, does she understand how this works? Strong girl game is such that I'm going to expect to meet some resistance on this front. I respect that. In fact, I would probably enjoy the challenge assuming she's a quality enough girl that I'm willing to put in the work.

Lurking over on RPW basically they say don't give up sex until you've gotten commitment from a guy. I'm going to go ahead and assume most RPW women know this and aren't going to have sex with you before they've secured some kind of commitment from you. This is just how the game is played.

Also, a lot of men get to a point in their lives where spinning plates just doesn't do it for them anymore. They're ready and interested in the benefits a LTR brings to their life. A quality woman is nice to have around. The trade off is that in order to have this we have to give up some of our freedoms in other ways.

There must be some balance point where you give up some commitment and everybody gets some of what they're looking for. Understanding, that we have competing drives and evolutionary imperatives.

I for one would probably only consider a girl LTR material unless she was able to match me in terms of girl game i.e. extracting some form of commitment. I'll spin plates until I'm sick of it and ready to settle down. I don't see that happening any time soon though.

[–]cynicalprick01 0 points1 point  (1 child)

giving up sex fast can be considered a red flag, but then again "we" date girls with red flags all the time.

i dunno, its up to you to decide which girls to ltr and how cautious you should be if a girl has sex with you early in a relationship.

only the sith deal in absolutes

[–]Bulk_king11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I'm just wondering people opinions on this. Not looking for a definitive answer

[–]Don_Keydick -1 points0 points  (0 children)

check the out the sidebar on TRP the one that says 'how to manage bitches'. That should answer your question, I read it today.