"when you feel a tingle in your nuts...you're about to get kicked"--she cheated or was going to. check it (self.asktrp)

submitted by nomovement11

Summary: caught 4.5 year LTR texting her coworker. she reveals they wanted to get to know each other. many messages and pics were exchanged via snapchat(idk what they were tho) many texts were exchanged as well. i read them and they were extremely flirty and inappropriate.

been in a LTR for 4.5 years. our lives are basically interconnected at this point.

but my sweet little princess (lol) has been what seems to be an intimate conversation-based relationship with a co-worker. but who knows...maybe she was getting banged during lunch.

i'm not new to TRP

bare with me as i try to explain. this happened a few hours ago. still trying to process.

It all started with SnapChat app on her phone and her points on there were racking up rather fast--for those who don't know you rack up points by sending or receiving pictures or messages to your friends on there. the pictures /messages aren't saved they only show for a few seconds. I noticed at the beginning of the week that her points were racking up fast. i found it weird.<---- the "tingle" #1

i obviously don't mention it or make a big deal about it.

week goes by. everything is as usual. we're good.

yesterday throughout the day she mentions that she is going to a concert with her friend today. its pretty last minute to tell me but i just say "cool, have fun". <--- tingle #2

we hang out with some friends have some drinks, we get back to her place around 2am and get ready for bed. she steps out to the bathroom and leaves her phone.

curiosity got the best of me and i checked her messages and snapchat. (many trp'ers are against checking phones, many aren't. i'm part of the trust but verify camp)

her and a coworker have been having EXTREMELY flirty conversations via text the last few weeks. implying that what they are doing is wrong. only the lord knows what pictures were sent on snapchat since i couldn't view them.

i also find out he is going to the same concert today too. (coincidence? i think not)

i put her phone where it was. she walks in i start to get dressed again and she asks me where i'm going. i say "i'm going home and this relationship is over. you know the reason why"

she begs me to stay and hear her out. wouldn't let me leave by physically blocking the door. i could have easily thrown her ass across the fucking living room but i stopped myself. don't want some accusations.

the guy is super corny but whatever. in classic woman fashion she reveals that he was giving her a different type of attention and that his family comes from money. lol. dumbass. that the messages were "only words" and that nothing was gonna happen and nothing physical ever happened. "they were just getting to know each other."

i want to point out that i never blatantly made it seem like i checked her phone. i lead her to confess to me what she has been doing.

anyway, the obvious answer here is to drop her. right?

the kicker, we're leaving on a vacation that i set up with a whole bunch of friends on thursday. hah. i'm still planning to go as i'm the one that set everything up and i've been looking forward to it forever now. should be fun.

[–]soupermain 45 points46 points  (12 children)

I'm sorry to read about this but happy for you at the same time. You have a big opportunity ahead of you. Obviously drop her immediately.

What is it with girls blocking the door after they've fucked up? It's happened to me twice... Are they setting it up for you to put hands on them so they're no longer the bad guy??

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That, and a lot of them honestly don't understand how much stronger you are than them.

[–]king_of_red_alphas 6 points7 points  (3 children)

Man I thought I was the only one with this "stand in front of the door" shit.

What the hell is that? It's like even when I just needed to cool off so things don't escalate into an ugly fight they won't allow it.

Abandonment issues?

[–]Bobwayne17 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I just recently ran into this problem too. It escalated into a fight. It's crazy to know if the genders were reversed and you did something like that to a girl they would be able to press some serious charges.

[–]incognitomamsito 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Shit they really all do this!

I handled this the time it happened to me by repeating some phrase like "please move out of my way" in a calm voice during/after every attempt to communicate with me (verbal or physical).

After a few minutes (felt longer) she gave up and moved out of my way. Then I left.

[–]king_of_red_alphas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol tried that one. Guess I wasn't persistent enough. I've had them actually literally pulling me back away from the door before. Luckily the most I have done is just shake the shit out of them while repeating "think about what you are doing"

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Deep down you know the answer to this

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had an ex follow me in her car as I walked home 2 miles. She was making quite the scene.

It's about controlling you: They don't think you'll move them, just as that ex thought I'd get in the car to stop causing a scene.

[–]Lofibasking 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Then what is the best course of action to take?

Attempting to leave through a window seems weak and childish, standing there and listening to them seems like a form of validation or submissive acceptance, while physically forcing them out of the way could have drastic consequences. I'm at a loss for how to handle this.

[–]SpaceCrunch 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Maybe lay on the floor?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The standing in front of the door seems like an unconventional shit test to me. Physically trying to contain you to make you enter their frame.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (2 children)

4.5 years... She's got all that sunk cost. And you just have bitches to fuck. Seems like you're taking it well or its too raw to feel just yet. Either way, you've got the right attitude. Remember what you know now, oxytocin withdrawal might be challenging later.

[–]nomovement11[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

yeah sunk costs on her end for sure. feeling a little bit of both.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Remember after you slayed a new one you won't really know why you had the feelings you are having right now in the first place.

[–]whoops_fap 20 points21 points  (1 child)

You handled it perfectly. Good job. Fuck plenty of bitches while on vacation.

[–]nomovement11[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

thanks. will do

[–]king_of_red_alphas 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Scary how much this is like the way my last 5 year LTR blew up.

You handled it great. The next few weeks are gonna suck but, trust me, they will suck A LOT less with TRP knowledge.

[–]Trpidation 8 points9 points  (2 children)

Essentially had the same thing happen to me: my spidey sense was tingling, checked her phone, found a ton of shit. (Though mine was only a 2 year relationship.) Basically she was making plans to fuck other dudes and being flirty with them etc.

Drop her immediately. No further contact aside from getting your shit back. In terms of the vacation... Is there any way you could make it so she can't go? Because I would definitely not let that bitch in on anything else in your life. If I've learned anything from my own experiences of being cheated on and from TRP, it's that when it comes to loyalty bitches get a single chance and that's it. If you let it slide it communicates that it's ok to cheat.

You handled it perfectly, I wish I'd handled mine similarly. Nice job. Short, to the point, effective.

Complex situation though man, I wish you the best of luck. Another commenter said that this is a great opportunity for you and I gotta agree. This is a perfect time for you to get out and slay. 3 billion options.

The next little while is gonna suck. A lot. I'm in that spot right now and it's fucking rough. Good luck brah.

Edit: words

[–]nomovement11[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

definitely a great opportunity. and i'm the one that booked everything for her and i. ill cancel her flight and give her a flight voucher or a refund(she paid for it).

im gonna embrace the suckiness of the whole situation and move on. not even gonna hold a grudge.

[–]thor_meaway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Listen to this OP:

Drop her immediately. No further contact aside from getting your shit back.

In terms of the vacation... Is there any way you could make it so she can't go? Because I would definitely not let that bitch in on anything else

The next little while is gonna suck.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Hamsters are going to hamster. Welcome back to single life... its better here.

[–]abdada 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Men get the 7 year itch; women get the 4 year itch. Like clockwork.

Why do you think divorces happen often at 4 years?

[–]KyfhoMyoba 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It's because that's the age at which a child doesn't need constant attention.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


[–]nomovement11[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

yeah. definitely a HUGE red flag. i just let her keep spewing things out of her mouth and tallying up the reasons why im walking away. there was more shit she confessed to too. thanks

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


[–]nomovement11[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yeah. my now ex has no social media besides snapchat. so awalt

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't get how you can find a quality LTR nowadays

No social media activity. They are out there but you also have to hold yourself to the same standard. You'll find one in about every 1-2 years.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


[–]nomovement11[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

exactly. she wouldnt react the way she did. shes the one that confessed everything to me. not staying together for sure

[–]btharmony 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Sorry to hear, but also glad to hear. You drop this bitch like the dog she is and continue to be the best man you can be. Enjoy your vacation, get some some pussy, live life. Abundance mentality.

[–]nomovement11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

abundance mentality is life. gonna have a great vacation. thanks bro

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It's a woman's responsibility in a committed exclusive relationship to be faithful both in body and in mind. Nobody gives a fuck that she (supposedly) didn't open her legs to the coworker yet - it's very clear that she already opened her emotions and her mind to him, breaking the nice exclusivity deal she had going with OP involving many unique benefits for her.

It's never forever: plates fall and smash, LTRs break the deal and try to shirk the responsibility, marriages lead to misery and divorce. Very lucky for OP he is not married to the wonderful woman.

[–]nomovement11[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

very true. thats something she kept emphasizing how they were just "words" and nothing physically happened. so dumb. MANY fucking benefits too. i wasnt some bp faggot either. cant even fucking blame myself like most guys do. sure, im not perfect but i literally have everything going for me in every aspect of my life thanks to the red pill and she was a witness to it all. what an idiot.

yes very lucky we werent married.

[–]radianceofparadise 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's out of tingles for you. Run and don't look back. Good move OP.

[–]0kool74 0 points1 point  (0 children)

anyway, the obvious answer here is to drop her. right?

About as obvious as a gay guy likes dick!!!

[–]Mister_Cash 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I know your pain OP, but just as others have said you handled it very good. It will get kinda tough, 4 years is a long time to be with someone trust me I know. TRP will help more then you know though so you're in the right place. Best of luck!!

[–]nomovement11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks man.