I'll start with that I'm a millenial, so I imagine this has a lot to do with where I'm coming from. I lift, go to school, work a retail job because college. I put in work yes, but only just enough in all areas. I'm capable of 100% in all subjects, but I just don't because I'm always strung out on the fact that I can't just smoke pot and waste away on video games for a solid day.
I feel as though if I'm really just a lazy whiney bitch. All I do is work. Life is a chore and I'm finding no enjoyment in it.
I love lifting weights, but consistent diet and discipline? Fuck off. I enjoy learning from my lectures, homework and exams? Piss off. Work? Whatever.
I've always had this idea that I'm gonna fix the world's problems or at least help. I want to. I want at least be a functioning part in the world's survival.
But then I'm caught with "fuck the world's problems I'm just gonna make money and enjoy my life until death" That doesn't really seem fulfilling either.
I wake up, hit the gym, do my classes and go to work. All for what? Get a pat on the back because I dusted the shelves so good or I sucked a customer's dick long enough to get a happy letter?
All for what? "This is the way life is you just have to accept it." - That seems like a total bluepill mentality and a load of fucking bullshit.
I never feel like I'm in the right place when I'm at school or work. I don't know where I'm supposed to be but it's not there.
I am 24 with good health and all 4 limbs. I could be useful in the world, I could help plant crops in a torn country, anything besides this selfish cosumption. I understand TRP is about investing in yourself I get that.
The plan apparently is slave away until I'm a mech engineer. Make good money have nice house, cars, clothes live live live die. It's never seemed quite right.
How do I enjoy this? It always seems all this what seems like hard work but is secretly half assed by me is all for nothing.
There's a world for my taking and I'm just sitting her idle sucking the systems dick not enjoying my existence. Putting in half ass work because I don't see the point.
Where is my thinking flawed? Am I missing something?