How low was your "rock bottom" to change? (self.asktrp)

submitted by mrccmrp10

I have been constantly hitting low points. Each time the point got lower and lower to the point where I could barely look at myself in the mirror, didnt lift, no showering, etc. I tried everything and just nothing seemed to work.

Last time I hit my low point I'd consider my rock bottom. I almost completely gave up on everything I'd built until now..But then somehow just something clicked. I was sick of everything and lately I have been consistently doing the things that make me better. I have been tracking my routine daily, listening to positive podcasts, trying to become a better person and even doing the things or "triggers" that would make me go back to my negative cycle I am still standing strong.

I feel different. I still get anxious, stomach still gets twisted when nervous, scared that I might fail, but I just push through.

Anyways, what is your rock bottom story, how did it change you, and what did you do to stay that way?

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 35 points36 points  (9 children)

I played football in college and was in great shape, strong, active.

After football I got lazy, stopped lifting, ate like shit. Was a total beta in terms of women. Would always end up getting oneitis for one, overinvesting, she would be repelled, and I would cry about it until I moved onto the next oneitis.

It only took a short 3 years after I was done with football to hit rock bottom. Skinny fat. Double chin. Dad bod. Beer belly(despite me not drinking beer) that overhung my pants.

With women I would continue to double down on the same strategy that failed time and time again. Get oneitis for a girl, try to be "friends" with her first, never escalate, be a total nice guy gentlemen, brag about how nice of a guy I am. Each time it would fail, I would vow to be even nicer of a guy the next time. I always thought my failures were because I wasn't nice enough.

One day I was moping and moaning because of my latest oneitis rejection because I overinvested too much. Drove 7 hours one way to surprise a girl and she was freaked out by me showing up. Got home and was reading a thread on a message board about white knights and nice guys. I saw myself in those pics making fun of betas, nice guys and white knights. It all came together and I was disgusted at myself. Began to read up about alphas and betas which led me to TRP. Quit my job. Got a new job in another state, used that to start my life over. A short 3 months later I was back in shape and using TRP to have success with women.

[–]ZodiacK9 13 points14 points  (8 children)

Damn dude I didn't know people actually did that I mean drive X amount of hours just to see a girl. But good you got your life togther.

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 13 points14 points  (7 children)

Brainwashing and programming.

Men are brainwashed and programmed to believe that the way to get a woman is to be friends with her first, not make any moves until you know each other real well, and then if you are friends with her long enough, then you can try to slowly and carefully move forward by taking her on casual dates. Men are brainwashed and programmed to believe the way to get a woman is to be nice, caring, sensitive, connect with her emotionally, invest in her, "be there" for her, etc. And of course I was a loyal believer in that strategy for the first 25 years of my life, even though it didn't work for me once.

I could write a fucking book about my oneitis failures. Because I literally HAVE written a book about it.

I have kept a journal of my life since I was 10 years old in 1999. Almost every day of my life since then has been recorded - and every single day since May 2009. I am up to 6,396 entries now. Anyway. I was analyzing it all and there have been 9 women in my life in which I really really really tightly orbitted and heavily pursued only to get rejected in the end. There have been more women I failed with, but these 9 were the biggest ones. I assigned each of these women planet names. Mercury, Venus, Earth, etc. Each one of these I doubled down harder than the previous one on the whole nice guy act. And each time I would get rejected that much harder. Double down, double down, double down. The last one, Pluto, who I drove 7 hours for - I literally did everything right with her, from a nice guy perspective. I won't go into detail but it still all makes me cringe to this day. For almost a year after the inevitable "Supernova" as what I call it when I would finally not only get rejected by the woman, but also rejected to the point where she basically ghosts me and goes no contact with me - I was constantly asking myself where I went wrong. What did I do? I mean, everything was so great! I was the perfect gentleman! Where did I go wrong?

Finding TRP was like the scene in Christmas Vacation when Clark finally gets the Christmas Lights on his house to work. I finally got my answer of where I went wrong.

[–]Ganaria_Gente 4 points5 points  (0 children)

my life story is nowhere near as bad as yours, but nevertheless what you've posted is very inspiring. i kept nodding my head when you talked about the brainwashing.

keep it up , bro

[–]officerkondo 3 points4 points  (1 child)

I have kept a journal of my life since I was 10 years old in 1999. Almost every day of my life since then has been recorded - and every single day since May 2009. I am up to 6,396 entries now.

If you must do this, please make sure it is in a place that cannot be found. Committing your contemporaneous thoughts to writing can be very dangerous.

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say its more autobiographical in nature. Not so much emotions, more of a log of what I did that day. It's kind of neat to look back what I was doing exactly 5 years(worked at my part time valet job and brought my iPad with me to keep me entertained because it was a slow night), 10 years(created a mathematical college basketball ratings system for my freshman college statistics class) or 15 years(we had some mandatory star gazing night for my 8th grade science class) ago.

[–]VegasSaint9 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I'd say I'm RP in life style now, but how do you make that switch with women? I lift, I read more, and have a different approach to life than before. I wouldn't say I'm ugly, but I wouldn't consider myself hot to women right off the bat. I'm in good shape just on the smaller side. (Average height, lower weight, in shape) I've read a lot of material on here, but how exactly do you apply it? I'd say I'm a "nice" guy, but I don't let myself get walked all over like a beta would. My problem tends to be not having a large social circle to talk to a lot of women, and I'm kinda introverted on the surface so there's really my biggest issues I'd say.

My question is more what sort of behavior works the best now for you and what strategy do you use to talk to them? What didn't work for you?

[–]SetConsumes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You apply the parts you're needing to work on how you can.

Experience will help more than most anything else.

One of my bigger post rp changes is viewing all women as below me and being very child like and beholden to their emotions. They don't really care about much real stuff, they love unreal things so much more like fantasy and beauty and cuteness and whimsy and silliness.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to go out and field test what you read. If you don't put in the approaches and rejections, you will never get better.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate those cringe flashbacks man.

Any tips on staying consistent with journalling?

[–]Docbear64 51 points52 points  (1 child)

I think my bottom was valentines day like 5 years ago . My GF of 3 years and I at the time had been having a rough patch and she suggested a weekend getaway for the two of us at a nearby hotel . We had a good dinner , came to the hotel , started fucking , I asked for a blowjob and her face twisted as she said " No I don't want to do that" . We finished fucking and all I could think is how I just dropped somewhere between $200 - $400 on a room for the weekend with a chick who won't give me head ( even though I ate her out) , who doesn't fuck or treat me like she loves me anymore , who previously cheated on me , and yet I am devoted to her.. Why ?

Being the good boyfriend stopped making sense and slowly I began to be more selfish and a little over a year and a half later I broke up with her .

This selfishness would lead to a larger career focus, then as my money got better, I focused on my fitness, and slowly I am forming into a much more complete man and I love myself a little more everyday .

Who knew being denied a blowjob could be so empowering ?

[–]carolinageorgee 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She regrets not blowing you nowadays

[–]jeezydasnowman 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Involuntary celibacy ,fat, gaming addiction ,0 friends, living with parents at 24, about 5k in credit card debt plus eviction fees.

Gave away console and computer. Canceled everything except cell phone. Worked unlimited overtime, hit the gym, watched rsd vids, joined a social sports league.

[–]GreenPiller 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn man, great job. Debt can be crippling.

[–]AlwaysFlank 12 points13 points  (4 children)

If you google image my name, the first thing that shows up is me holding a sign at a feminist rally. My linkedin picture comes after. Yeah...

[–]301niko 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Holy fuck man. Why? What made you think it was a good idea?

[–]AlwaysFlank 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Gotta hit rock bottom to start climbing ¯(ツ)

I make the best of it and let it serve as a reminder

[–]301niko 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You can ask Google to remove that

[–]AlwaysFlank 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then it wouldn't bother me and I wouldn't push to improve myself. I just agree and amplify

"Yeah I'm a feminist, I believe all women should have penises"

[–]akatsukirp 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Mine was gradual. I was that clueless guy, unaware that women were hitting on me. One time a girl invited me to a hot tub, then a strip club, her place, and finally showed up in her pjs with a pillow at my place to "sleep over". I said "why would you want to sleep here? your house is like right over there..." she sighed, left and started dating some guy right after.

So it was gradual:

  • 1) clueless nice guy
  • 2) started having sex fast, but then falling back into nice guy BP (for example, after sex mailed a girl a gift)
  • 3) now I'm rping most of the time, it's work, otherwise you default back to your programming.

[–]Sinth42 12 points13 points  (0 children)

She so obviously wanted you to fuck her and it's absolutely crazy what the media can do to one's masculinity. It creates an illusion of female innocence even though there isn't anything like that. Good job at embracing the RP. Keep it up!

[–]TheStumblingWolf 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Hah that reminds me of my teen years. I'm a computer guy and one of the hot girls in my class had a crush on me (for what reason I'll never know - I had no social skills which eventually made me do something to piss her off).

Her and her friend invited me to the friend's place after school to install a Winnie The Pooh theme on her computer from a CD (this was around ~1997). As I'm sitting at the computer installing stuff the friend suddenly leaves. I think nothing of it. The girl who has a crush on me is lying on the bed a few meters away calling my name. I didn't get the hint. Eventually I'd installed the stuff on the computer so I got up from the computer and informed her I was done and then went home.

Let's just say I was a late bloomer.

[–]SetConsumes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol it's funny how much we presumed women's innocence.

[–]ronsoness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

it hurts thinking about the missed oppor-poon-ities doesn't it? i try not to think about them too, cause i don't think i'll ever have it easier than horny drunk college girls (esp. on study abroad).

[–]meh613 6 points7 points  (2 children)

what is your rock bottom story, how did it change you, and what did you do to stay that way?

Others will dismiss this as sour grapes, but.....

I hit my bottom when my hitherto, thought-of-as-loyal LTR confessed that she'd had an affair, she claimed it was of the emotional variety. Being a sperg, I don't have emotions (theoretically anyway), so I shrugged it off. At this point, she got more upset by my lack of reaction that she claimed I didn't love her, then slammed the door when I said it was her right to think that way and I knew otherwise. The next day, she'd called the cops on me for not being "available" enough. That's when I found this place, and the related subs.

[–]Docbear64 3 points4 points  (1 child)

She called the cops on you for not being " available enough " ? I think something was wrong with her mi amigo .

[–]meh613 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hence, she's my ex, /u/Docbear64; more than that, I realised that AWALT.

[–]anabolic92 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I relate to you man.

I wish I fucking get to the rock bottom because I don't know how deeper I can go.

Yes I lift, diet, groom, focus on education and my career(working and studying) and yet I still wait for something good happens to me, or I can have or archieve something that I'm proud of.

I don't know how worse it can go but my life is a repetition of days were the new one is worse than the last.

I dream of going to the bed someday and think "today was fcking awesome" or "I'm really looking forward tomorrow".

I dream of being at least physically average, interact with women, have a solid social circle.

I guess that not everyone can be happy in this life, remember in order to have winners there must be losers as well, and I guess I fell into the worse side.

Good luck with your life man, I'm sure things will turn out ok for you.

[–]Ganaria_Gente 4 points5 points  (0 children)

et I still wait for something good happens to me, or I can have or archieve something that I'm proud of.

imo, thats a wrong mindset

instead you gotta

  • love the good shit that you have right NOW, and at the same time,

  • work progressively towards the good shit that you want in the near to mid future

  • while all the while having a good, pleasant time.

not this constant 'grass is greener on the other side' mindset.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

3 years ago I was at a low point in my sexual market value.

I was drinking too much and going to bars.

An attention whore I saw out brought her friend to meet me.

I fucked said friend first night we met, and started dating too seriously too quickly.

She was either borderline personality disordered or so strongly on the cluster b scale that even if she was not diagnose-able was still toxic as hell.

She slowly ripped my brain and heart out.

I ended things.

I slowly realized that my male friends were being mildly disrespectful of me. I was tall and very thin.

Moved. Renovated a place on my own. Got a new ride. Got a new job making twice what I had before and started hitting the gym. Ate so much protein and worked out so hard that I ballooned with muscle.

I still hate that fucking BPD bitch when I think of her, but without that intense anger and disgust that I allowed myself to be mistreated....I'm not sure I'd be where I am now.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Depressed, alcohol abusing, basically homeless, stopped grooming myself, thought about killing myself.

[–]JonMan219 2 points3 points  (1 child)

How old were you when you reached your bottom?

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

About 35

[–]Ganaria_Gente 1 point2 points  (2 children)

that's a hell of a bottom.

i applaud your progress, mate. mind if i ask how long it took you ?

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Four years and still running...

[–]Ganaria_Gente 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you da man.

[–]GreenPiller 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn man I've been homeless too, with only 10 dollars in the bank and a subway sandwich. Good job bro.

[–]sexualloser 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Here's mine pretty pathetic, I know.

[–]tebor8 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I moved overseas at the suggestion of my now ex-wife to her home country (third-world). I changed careers and worked my ass off to support my family. I was constantly ill from diseased water and/or food and started to fade away. I lost 80 lbs and was skeleton-like and close to death. I made the hard decision to leave my family and return to the USA to recover. My ex refused to move back to the states. It took me awhile, but I finally divorced her. Since then, it's taken me years to finally live a mostly normal life and I have now discovered TRP to take it to the next level. Onwards and upwards all!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For me:

I lost my job & spent two years unemployed with my wife paying the bills.
I became an alcoholic (if you're drunk all the time you don't have to think about your shitty life)
I gained 50lbs
I lost any & all friends
I lost my wife (I would have left myself)

So when I had my birthday at 29 I was alone, unemployed, drunk, a complete & total failure in life.

Basically I woke up the next day and felt an immense rage at myself, for allowing myself to drop so low when I have such an incredible potential and spent the day yelling at myself. Afterwards I moved to Paris, got off alcohol, lost 60lbs and now I have a good career & GF.

[–]deville05 4 points5 points  (5 children)

10-15 years that I can remember of. Life probably sucked before that too but I don't remember. First 5 I was cool in a way and I did cool shit but I never owned it or was confident. I was still a beta in loves and relationships. Think Mark Zuckerberg social charm but somewhat artistic and cooler but none of his disciple and ethic and belief. The Zuck had confidence, I didn't.

The next 5 was a downward spiral but I wasn't aware of the concept of this rabbit hole of depression. My confidence was worse but again I wasn't aware of the need for confidence and how it affects you in everything. I I could have had so much fun in college and made friends and enjoyed and killed but I just ate and jacked off and stayed committed in a LDR. I was crippled with negativity and fear and anxiety and self hate but I didn't know it. The LDR was a relief honestly. I don't blame the girl, It was my fault. I wasn't a good boyfriend because I wasn't good to myself but again the concept of putting yourself first was alien to me.

The last 5, the spiral of self hate continued. Relationship ended. we both weren't good for each other in hindsight. I couldn't move on.. I wasn't pining for her, but I couldn't move on. I couldn't fix myself. During the course of this time, I kept absorbing knowledge TRP etc. It all helped me be better in my head.. But I didn't put anything into practice, I didn't approach. I was still scared of being social even though talking isn't difficult for me, making funny comes naturally. All my problems were in my head and not a product of external circumstances. In fact my circumstances in life have been created by my head space. Sometime I wonder where I might have been at if my head was alright. Instead I made a quicksand of negativity in my head and just sunk in. I couldn't do anything in life. I was just so unsure. I usually do everything very well.. And I mean everything but I approached it all from a place of negativity and fear.

I don't know what happened for me to change, but over the final few months my brain started repairing itself. My friend who is a PUA, would tell me to come an do sets and everything etc and I would just decline because I just didn't have the desire or the priority for it. I guess that's approach anxiety. Other areas of my life were absolute shit. I just wasn't happy. but unlike all those years before, I was self aware. I didn't just decide to start approaching one day. something in my brain fixed and told me to do it. It said fuck it, today is the day. Which was strange because it never did that all those years. I could have forced myself to be better and do approaches all those years, but I think it wouldn't have made me feel as good as how it did when it came from within. My problem in life is that I always did many things before I was my time and many things much later than I should have. As a result I was always a grown up, mature, intelligent, occasionally hardworking manchild. Being a child and being childlike are two different things. I think I'll always be childlike and I'm ok with that. I am enjoying this new found confidence and talkative energy and fun side of me that women like that I didn't know I had. I don't say 'I can't' anymore. There is a long way to go and I have to fix so much that I took for granted or didn't understand or wasn't taught but for the 1st time my head is saying "yes you can, you swag motherfucker"

[–]JonMan219 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Bro I had to comment because your story resonates closely with me. Your relationship ended and you couldn't move on (i've been there for 2 years), you felt like you couldn't fix myself (still there), and you absorbed a plethora of knowledge yet didn't put anything into practice (me, me, me!). Every thing you said there speaks volumes to me, but what made you change so abruptly?

[–]deville05 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'll reply to you at a later time from my laptop.

[–]JonMan219 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looking forward to your response

[–]deville05 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I think the day that my brain went fuck it.. today we are going to approach chicks, I was in a positive state. I have 2 friends, one who does well in his career but not so great with women and another who does fantastic with pulling women but has no career goals. The career guy talks to me from a place of positivity and in fact that very morning He, in a state of positivity, pulled me into a pact saying that "lets go out every friday or saturday night with the purpose of talking to women" it was a friday that day.

The PUA guy, even though pushes me to go talk to women or start approaching etc, is not a very encouraging person otherwise. He always says or does something to brings my mood down. I know one should be in control of their own mood but if you are constantly in a negative state that is easier said than done. besides, if being in control of state was possible, I wouldnt be in a negative one in the first place. Now I feel that my PUA friend used to unconsciously feel better about himself through whatever he did because he is jobless and his mind might have been in a vacuum that was inadvertently generating negativity that he wasnt aware of. But he is not a bad friend or a bad guy.

now about me - till this recent shift in perspective and brain outlook happened, I thought I was an introvert and in fact might have been somewhat bipolar or so I thought. because I would watch my mood shift from slightly positive to crippling negativity in an instant. I used to love weed, but I stopped smoking it cuz since my break up. weed made me paranoid. I psychosomaticaly associated weed with my ex and an air of betrayal and cheating. I would find it increasingly difficult to stay positive and trust me when I say this stuff like, chest out posture, make eye contact, speak loudly and confidently, make a decision and take action etc are not things that you can do if your brain is spiraling down in negativity. I noticed that when I truely became positive all those things happened naturally. none of it had to be faked or manufactured. I could tell because there was one occasion when I did approach in a state of negativity and fear and my brain was fumbling all over the place trying to manufacture an attractive guy out of me.

Before this Friday, I had been feeling better and better. I had started to gain more confidence in the quality of my jokes and my ability to improvise jokes on the fly. I had made a decision to finally do standup, but I still didnt sign up for any open mics. I was very sure that my material was off the chain but I was so fearful of getting on stage and had no Idea how my delivery would be. (I was timid after all and an introvert). my material is edgy so I knew that if it came from someone who doesnt look sure of himself, it would bomb. I decided to start writing and then start recording my voice and then started filming myself over a week or two. I was terrible but speaking a lot everyday had some effect on my energy. To tell you the truth I had read about vocal exercises and how resonating sounds sends vibrations through your body and make you feel more positive, this explains why buddhists chant etc.

[–]deville05 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Friday morning after the pact with Mr.Positivity and other conversations with him and the PUA guy, I found that I was invigorated, I wanted to go out right then. Im guessing it brought this change in me because the pact wasnt outcome dependent. it was just about talking to women, a baby step. (The PUA guy would usually tell me to just dive in head on. I think that scared me). nothing about getting numbers, insta dates or bringing them home or following up. I was in a state of positivity, the kind I hadnt experience in 10-15 years. It felt brand new. But I also knew how just 1 little thing could ruin it and send me back into the negative zone. so I removed myself from there and went back to my place and did everything I felt like doing to keep in that state. Night was still 8 hours away.

I wrote about that day, it was positive reaffirmation. I discovered that I really enjoyed writing. something I never knew I did and the reason why this post is so long. I did vocal excercises to keep me positive, watched a couple of videos of this guy who is an introvert saying hi to random passing women just to get himself into a state of positivity. I watched a movie called "bleed for this" not knowing how it was gonna be and it was amazing. so much positivity there. anything to keep myself in this state that I wasnt aware existed in me. I had also since the past month tweaked my diet and cut out wheat and rice and even sugar 6 days a week along with keeping going from 1500 calories to 1000 calories a day and had been dropping my weight consistently. No doubt that I was filling up the positivity meter this past month with that. add up everything I guess it all culminated in my WANTING to go out. I was bursting with energy that night. something I dont remember experiencing. I would usually avoid. Hell If My room mate had a house party, I would usually try to stay in my room and avoid his friends saying how I dont need it, how Im good with my movie and how I need to sleep soon. I didnt need a movie and I didnt need to sleep. I was depressed. and after watching a video today.. I think porn had a huge role to play in my negativity - https://youtu.be/WKcxOqvty3c

Friday night's approach itself I admit wasnt something I had to do. I was standing at the bar and getting water and these two girls came and said 'excuse me' to find a way to get a drink at the crowded bar, I said "go right ahead" with a smile and gave them my place. But here was the difference.. instead of quietly standing behind them I said.. "sure you can have my place.. but only if you pass me my drink" and instead of leaving it at that I quickly went into "so what are you ladies having... whats yours names, my name is blah blah" and what not. things just flowed out of me. It helped that these girls were not intimidating. they were like 6s and the cuter one was shorter than me so I guess looking down on someone made me perhaps unconsciously feel more dominating. But I didnt care about them being 6s. The goal wasnt to get laid or talk to someone who I felt attracted to, the goal was to just talk and be social. I had no standards or filters that night.. everyone who had an opening or was alone was someone with a potentially interesting interaction. I said hi to a lot of guys and girls, people who I wouldnt have interacted with before. It felt great. I noticed that I was cool as a cucumber. I was not anxious at all. I wasnt trying man it felt fucking amazing. I bar hopped with my friends but came back to the 1st bar where I had left the two girls. (I knew about push-pull, negging, kino, not prolonging an interaction etc. Like I said previously, I had been absorbing for years without taking action)

By the end of the night the short girl was laughing at everything I was saying, she was having a great time, I took her to dance, she was lighting scraping her titties etc. she was loving it. I was loving it. she was eating out of my hand and offering to buy me a drink but I didnt want alcohol changing my state. I did make the mistake of not getting a little sexual with my kino but it was my first day and I was just enjoying having some fun for a change and being a cool mofo. I tried kissing her without getting her vagina tingled and she retracted her lips. But no biggie, it didnt affect my heart beat, I was fine.. we went back into our negging and giggling. At one point there was another guy who was talking to the other girl and she didnt seem too interested. he was drunk and wasnt bringing the fun that I had laid out on the table. When these two girls went to the washroom, the dude started talking to me and at one point said "im glad you are teaching me" . me? teaching? that was a boost. I was doing something right. But I replied to him like I had been doing this a while cuz in my brain I knew everything thanks to TRP and RSD and all those other guys. My PUA friend who was watching me interact with the girls told me that it didnt look like I was doing it the first time. I guess I was a natural and I didnt even know about it. Like a passive volcano that just needed the right conditions to break out. I gave her my number cuz she had to go and left in search of another club cuz ours was shutting down.

I reached the other club and it was the only place that was open in the whole zip code. (things in my country dont stay open past 130 unless there is a specific license). The place was jam packed and people were clawing to get inside to go spend money on expensive booze and be cool. I had spent like 50cents that night till now and thats all I spent the rest of the night. Outside I chatted up another chick with big boobies and a cleavage and didnt act like I didnt see them. I told her to come stand with me in a line and when we got there, pop another button for the door man. Her eyes widened but I didnt give a fuck. I said what I said. Having a naughty smile helps. two minutes later, me and her boobs got us and her friends in and I left her and went in. I talked to who ever had an opening that night and all of them were fun positive interactions.

The next day I was at a small music festival and continued my state. talked to people I knew but never interacted with. complimented random people etc. Both days I found that people didnt mind. they were happy to talk, they just wanted to have a good time, thats what they were at these places for, to socialize. That weekend was a life changing experience. I havnt felt negative for a moment since then. I think it made me more emotional. I found myself crying one day watching a music video.. There was just this energy of love pouring out that now I feel was just bottled inside. wrting this has made me go through all that again. Now I make it a point to talk say Hi or nice hair or nice shows or waving or anything. I walk with my chest out and make eye contact without reminding myself to do so. Currently I am re-examining my life and figuring out what to do in life as a career because I realized all my choices revolved around my introvertedness and how I chose things to avoid dealing with people.

[–]furyzen1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

push on brother. we will emmerge victorious on this womend biased fucking race against men. YOU WILL IMPROVE, AS WILL ALL OF US. if we are brave and strong enough

[–]DadOnDabs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Found TRP in highschool and knew a good bit about it but never read the sidebar and applied any of it. When I started college my brother told me "I bet you don't get laid your first year of college" and I didnt. I started lifting as soon as I got back second year because I was constantly told how skinny I was. I met this girl who I thought was perfect for me but was really getting pumped by Chad's on the weekend. She led me on for a while and I chased and chased. I told myself if this didn't work I would become the biggest RP asshole I could become. The rest is history.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty low. 30ish years old, 400+lbs, lost my job, business, house. Moved my family in with my parents. Less than $1000 to my name, phones shut off, parents paid off my car so it wouldn't get repo'd.

6 months later I read MMSLP and started walking come hell or high water. I sometimes think about how I will never go back there. I have proven since to myself that I'm for real time and time again. 190, well built, athletic, 40ish now, in charge of my world.

I still can fall into short periods of depression from time to time. During the thick of the journey it would happen all the time. It gets better and better as my life keeps getting better and better. I think of each period as a rebirth.

When I'm depressed I think about what I need or want to change obsessively. Depression is my cue to re-evaluate my life, something has fallen into a rut. I'll shave my head on a Sunday, check myself out in the mirror, take a deep breath and come out of the bathroom feeling like a child again.

[–]Not_Me_Here 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Discovered alcohol at 15.

Started to lift as fuck at about 18

Smoked my first roll at 19 (pretty common here to smoke, most start at 15), never got this in an habit but

First mush trip the year later, then random blotters the next month or so then discover that I can get real LSD... and so on.

RC, mostly psychedelic,tons of stuff, you can read more here.

I was socially weird as fuck (use to be a bit already before). Still never really gave up on lifting, might have went down to once a month at some time.

I don't think drugs ever really been an issue by itself, but I'm glad I haven't went further there, I've met a guy who use to be kinda similar to me, I'm glad to not have met him before, I consider him like the version of me that didn't made it. He seems ok anyway.

My "too deep on drugs"(rock bottom) lasted about a year and a half. I've definitely been lucky to have awesome good friends around. Took me about a year to consider myself as not too awkward and weird. Then took me about a year to finally discover the red pill (I've been looking shitty stuff for a long time, I was willing for all kind of stuff to learn, but there was all the mindset missing). That was 3 weeks ago, since then, I workout everyday at home (and regular muscular training later), wake earlier, hang out, talk to people around, stopped drinking, one of my best friend told me I was different, can't wait to see how far I'll go.

All these drugs made my mind rough. After that, it just needed the right setting, something to pursue, to makes me want to do always more. I still have fear of others thought, but the biggest part is done, psychedelics makes you think people around you are constantly judging you, I was good enough to know that most of the time I was high, it was my high and not really me. It's like being skyzo, you just can't control yourself thinking people are laughing at you. I think what really helped me out of this was to see a lot of friends, more often, and stop seeing (even if I've still seen them some times) my "weird" friends, who didn't really had goal in life.

[–]TheRedStoic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Started drinking a lot and dropped out of college early on. Started my business as a monk mode.

Was actually a great rock bottom I guess. Never lost access to pussy and all hatred was internal and discipline based.

Met a guy who was a close combat instructor with 2 tours under his belt, he'd started a pool installation business. He kinda took me under his wing and that plus actually listening to my red as fuck family got me back on track quickly. The constant training helped build discipline really well too.

[–]THEN1NJA 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally I don't think I've ever had a bottom. I was a late bloomer with bitches but I've been decent with girls not really knowing what brought me success and what didn't. I've had some women dog me out though but I never was able to connect the dots. I knew being a dick got me laid and being nice and genuine got me blue balls. What clicked for me was when this woman (high school sweetheart) I thought I was gonna marry led me on for two years after we broke up and later even told me she didn't love me anymore the day of my fathers funeral. Finding the redpill has been more like an explanation of shit I've witnessed but couldn't express on my own. I can say my dad tried to put me on game as a kid.

[–]ronsoness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

making less than 20k a year. self employed. 135 lbs at 5'10". rejected from any job worthwhile again and again. riding vehicles that kept failing on me. no friends. no dates. bank account did drop to nearly $0. just stayed in and played video games to distract me from how shit my life is. worst thing was that i grew up poor and in foster homes, and i had spent my life at 18 promising i would change my life. and i had gone so far. and then i basically imploded and reverted to avoiding people and being a hermit. it was bad because my mental state said that there was no hope for me of ever being anything more.