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Sometimes I don't get it. Why the fuck work hard? (self.asktrp)

submitted by GOINGFULLBALLISTIC

I'm genuinely asking. I'm 26. I made more money than 80% of people my age by working hard. Got depressed a few years ago, mostly recovered and now this is my question ^

Lifting, chasing opportunities, improving yourself, making more money, goals and shit. In short, WORKING FOR MORE AND BETTER.

Why do all those? You can have all of them. I'm just gonna masturbate, eat alone, play games and live on welfare or maybe sell some stuff. I'll just get a 9 to 5, a fat GF, a few loser friends, video games, doritos and internet. (example)

Why are we working hard again? I'm not suggesting to be lazy. I am asking a question. Why?

Of course most want to be jacked, fuck hotties, make millions but only few can endure the hard work required to get there. They have their reason (usually experiencing lack of something in childhood). I do not. That is what I am asking. I don't even have a reason to be better than average. I think not that I'm lazy or incapable. It's just I don't see a reason most of the time.


[–][deleted] 114 points115 points  (7 children)

Here's a parable....

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.” The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

If you're happy doing you, well, there's your answer.

[–]GOINGFULLBALLISTIC[S] 28 points29 points  (1 child)

I suspect most people here are here high school kids.

[–]machimus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well no, I mean, there's also the 30 year old balding Indians who just want to know how they can go to frat parties and bang 10/10 blondes.

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel 12 points13 points  (5 children)

You're right- you can totally get by in the manner you described. And if you want to, go ahead. I won't think badly of you.

For me personally, if I'm not consistently pushing myself to be better and stronger and more capable, I feel as if I am in a decline.

I'm 42 years old. At this age you can see the abyss. You know that if you don't keep your momentum, you'll stop moving forward, and start sliding down. I see other 42 year old men who are already "old", they're grey and fat and they have weak flabby arms. Then I see men in their 60's like Louie Simmons who might have grey hair but they're super strong, manly, not giving up on life.

But yeah as long as you don't drag anybody else down with you, there's no reason you can't just be lazy and complacent. It's your life, after all.

[–]GOINGFULLBALLISTIC[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

And if you want to, go ahead

I don't know. I'm not suggesting to be lazy. I am asking a question. Why? Why work (hard)?

You know that if you don't keep your momentum, you'll stop moving forward, and start sliding down.

I actually did that around the time I was depressed.

So from your comment, you work hard because you are afraid of sliding down and giving up on life? What is it?

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Not exactly. I work hard because I enjoy how it feels to make progress. I enjoy knowing I'm doing more than I have to. Also, I really feel gratified when others (my peers, my family, etc) are able to benefit from my hard work. Especially when they are also working hard and I derive benefit from that.

I have a strong sense of community, I like to contribute.

[–]GOINGFULLBALLISTIC[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Not exactly. I work hard because I enjoy how it feels to make progress. I enjoy knowing I'm doing more than I have to.

Can you elaborate? How do you define progress? How do you enjoy it? Why do you enjoy it?

You didn't have to progress, but you did and that's good... because you like how it feels, right?

I have no community so I have no questions there.

[–]GunsGermsAndSteel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Progress is when I can see that I'm better and more capable than I was before. For instance a 300 pound bench press rather than 280.

Maybe it feels good because if I'm progressing, I can see I'm not getting weaker as I get older.

[–]Frigzy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being better than who you were yesterday simply feels incredible.

[–]awayofthought 19 points20 points  (4 children)

You can be average or you can be great. Most people in your high school, college, and work are doing just enough to get by. They are living for the weekend and that's all. They do the minimum and get the minimum in return.

A major reason for people not grinding hard is due to a massive fear of FAILURE. They are scared of not getting that promotion, that hot gf, that killer body whatever. It might not make sense logically, but people are fucking terrified of being vilified and shamed for failing.

You differentiate yourself by getting used to failure and trying hard in all aspects in your life. You lift, you fuck hot girls, you make hella money, you reach the TOP of your mountain.

If it was easy everyone would be doing it.

[–]michelswennson 6 points7 points  (2 children)

You are spot on. People concentrate on the outcome and not on the execution, and that triggers doubt, as the outcome is beyond our control. What we can control is the training/execution, and the rest will figure itself out. Be execution oriented, as with each new exertion you become better; it's simultaneously the necessary training, besides the mitigation of fear.

Actually on that note, never tell your kids:"you received good, because you are good/smart." As lovely kiddo will identify him/herself with that success and reversely becomes less courageous to take on new challenges, as it doesn't want to change the status quo/sentiment.

Rather say:"because of your effort you have earned that outcome." That highlights the underlying training that is mandatory for success.

And my fellow men.. also Iron never lies to you (Henry Collins), and it's the best way to remind you, that only by exertion you will receive the body and state we desire.

[–]GOINGFULLBALLISTIC[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Actually on that note, never tell your kids:"you received good, because you are good/smart." As lovely kiddo will identify him/herself with that success and reversely becomes less courageous to take on new challenges, as it doesn't want to change the status quo/sentiment.

That's me!

[–]abc69[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That Was you

[–]flashbang123 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think people do the minimum to get by because they have ZERO interest in their day jobs. Sad fact is that most day jobs are boring as fuck. It's hard to get motivated for something that you give zero fucks about. People aren't lazy. We all hit the gym on here. The problem is we are missing that special something that gets us out of bed every morning. We're missing a purpose.

[–]RXRob 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was like you. And then I woke up one morning with a suspected stroke.

I ditched the high stress job, high stress girl and high stress house.

I got a minimum wage job. I had my first week off in over two years. I got a bachelor pad. I stayed single. I hit the gym.

Sometimes we're happier when we have less.

You do you.

[–]trp333 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Ok, have your fat girl and your video games.

She'll leave you because you know AWALT. It's pretty easy to get another fat video game playing boyfriend who is slightly more fun than you and makes a couple more bucks per hour.

After that it's time for some one oneits because you have zero game because your live in video game land and scoring another fat chick will be a pain in the ass right? Why not actually learn and practice game - it's fun.

Gonna run dread with your Xbone achievement points to make her scared to leave?

Think she will play video games 8 hours a day like you until you're both old and gray?

[–]GOINGFULLBALLISTIC[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you can enjoy your left hand then

example is not the point itself

[–]failingtheturingtest 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do you WANT a fat GF, or just willing to settle so you don't have to work hard? Do you actually WANT a really HOT GF (or many of them)?
Do you WANT to just get a 9 to 5, or would you rather a great job that gets you great money, doing something you're really passionate about?

Generally what you'll see in life is that everyone wants the same things, some people just want them more.

[–]freddy2015 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hmm. My 2 cents. The hit? Perhaps people love the buzz of being incrementally better than the previous person they were?

Also, life's a meaningless game. But one that's going to happen anyway so why not maximise what you can get personally from it. If that's fast food and mastaurbation shiver then genuinely go for it. But in turn, in 10 years don't be wondering why you're overweight and whatever else goes with 10 years of mtbn.

My hunch though, is that you didn't make it to 80th percentile nor asking about the futility of life for no reason. You're competent and I'd say why not do something to completely abstract. You're wondering why you should continue levelling up.. why not play a different boardgame.. book a 1 way ticket to Europe, Australia.. wherever... and see from there. You there nothing.. It owes you nothing..

[–]trp333 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Our lifestyle goals differ.

EDIT BECAUSE YOU EDITED: Dude if that's what you want, go for it. Some of us want different things. I want more.

By working for more and better we increase the amount of possible women that we can fuck. If your lifestyle lets you pull a 4 out of a small pool and you're fine with it then more power to you.

[–]GOINGFULLBALLISTIC[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Do you work hard?

[–]trp333 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If "work hard" means work to increase my SMV in a tangible way so I can get hotter women then yes.

[–]Docbear64 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't want to survive by scraping by , I want to fucking thrive . When I'm old I want the security offered by the hard work I'm doing now and I am striving to be better in terms of my body , work, and and mind all because I have pride and want to wake up every morning not just happy to be breathing but to feel satisfied with the success I've acquired.

If scraping by day to day is good enough for you then do it , It's easier . On top of the pride thing , and creating a cushion for myself , I'd get bored as fuck . I need a certain amount of engagement from my day to day or the days start to blend and I feel a deep lack of satisfaction but again you may be different .

[–]ronsoness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's really about motivation, and for everyone it's different.

It could be a person who never felt they were good enough and never received approval from their parents, except when they excelled and achieved. So, they continue that pattern into adulthood, pushing themselves in hopes of getting approval from their boss.

It could be they came from a very poor childhood, and resolved to never be poor again, and working overttime on the opposite end: making more money than they actually need.

It could be they got their girlfriend pregnant, realized that they want to keep it, their life view changes, and they work hard in order to provide stability for their future child.

It could be they grew up around a very competitive and successful group of peers and friends. They have this mindset of keeping up with the joneses and so they work hard to make the money to meet the status quo of the people around them.

These are just some reasons someone might work hard. The main reason is to have a good reason, otherwise I think it's hard to work hard without a good reason.

[–]Mudpielol 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's ultimately up to you. If you don't see a reason why to do it, then don't do it.

Working out makes me feel good about myself. Getting to fuck hot women also makes me feel good about myself. Having financial security is also making me feel good. So, bottom line, because it feels good. That's why I do it, for myself, to feel good.

[–]Frigzy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you are not feeling growth you will feel like you are dying.

I've pretty much lived the life you describe. You will feel incredibly shitty because literally everything in life will be too far out of your comfort zone to even consider. You will feel frustrated 24/7 by the fact that nothing that you dream of is within your reach while your comfort zone shrinks until the point where you lose your job, your friends and your fat gf and just want to kill yourself.

Feel free to go there, but I'm now on the opposite side of the spectrum and it is awesome.

[–]do_it_or_leave 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your posted a great question OP.

I can only answer by myself, as each individual have their own goals and ambitions.

I work hard in the gym to see if what I am capable of, improving is a great joy to me. Being able to do things I couldn't before.

Money related, I could travel anywhere I wanted to, buy a new car, not the best luxury car, but a great car, or a house. But i couldn't do it all at the same time, AND I would be bound to my job. I care more about my freedom than about an expensive car. Right now my goal is be able keep the income level i am at right now, but without having to work the whole week 9-6.

When i reach that level of freedom I might want to keep working to go for the luxury car or maybe go live close to the Sea and enjoy life a little, whatever i will be able to do whatever I want.

[–]jm51 1 point2 points  (0 children)

WORKING FOR MORE AND BETTER

By whose definition?

I knew a ski bum. Get money. Spend it skiing. Get more money. He took a job at a Sony warehouse and was randomly picked to attend a board meeting. No fear of being fired so he was blunt wrt how they were doing things. 2 years later he's one of their top trouble shooters. Flying business class with a company credit card in his suit jacket.

He looks out at the snow covered mountains and thinks to himself 'What the fuck are you doing mate? You're a ski bum.' He gave notice as soon as he landed.

When was he most successful, flying business class or skiing?

Work is what we do to make our life better. If it doesn't make your life better by your definition, then don't do it.

[–]buncha_circles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Of course most want to be jacked, fuck hotties, make millions but only few can endure the hard work required to get there. They have their reason (usually experiencing lack of something in childhood). I do not.

Then be the guy that masturbates, eats alone, plays games, and lives on welfare and stop shitting up this board with questions you already know the answer to.

[–]asktrpthrow123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why do all those? You can have all of them. I'm just gonna masturbate, eat alone, play games and live on welfare or maybe sell some stuff. I'll just get a 9 to 5, a fat GF, a few loser friends, video games, doritos and internet. (example)

There's nothing wrong with this per se, but this kind of lifestyle doesn't really give you any fulfillment. I honestly think, as a man, a lot of happiness/being content is derived from pursuing a goal or goals. It's no wonder many men are depressed; because they live lifestyles like that.

I've noticed myself achieve some goal, and then I let off to relax for like 2-3 weeks, and I notice myself get depressed a little, like I'm not moving forward. It's like the thrill of a hunt. Once the hunt is over, you find yourself reminiscing about the hunt, and want to go hunt again even if there's no reason to hunt.

I plan to backpack this year for a year. Wouldn't be able to do that if I hadn't worked hard. Don't have to even worry about finding a new job once I'm back.

[–]flashbang123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The problem many of us face is that we are bored. The jobs we work, the grind, we have to do it to survive today. We work boring jobs to make a buck, pay the rent and food bills. There aren't that many jobs that people actually enjoy doing. Yeah, I make okay money, but I'm bored as fuck at my job....and I really don't care that much anymore. Maybe it's getting older, but the thought that life is meaningless only makes me care less and less. I work out, lift, train hard because I love working hard. I'm not lazy. I need to work hard....I just find office work awful. I feel your pain. The sad fact is that many people today are doing nothing but slowly waiting to die.

[–]randarrow 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry, nihilist here. Life has no meaning except that which we give it. If you find your meaning, work for it. Otherwise, it doesn't matter.

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Live a minimalist lifestyle if you work for someone else. This will ensure you can live off of maximum 40hr/week position. Focus the rest of your time, money, and energy on yourself and social life.

But I want a family! If you have to work 60hr+/week along with your baby mama (you're not getting married right?) working more than part time (thus need daycare), and feed your children anything below "all natural" foods, and have no time for yourself ==> you can't afford kids. If you go on despite knowing you can't meet this, you don't respect yourself.

[–]bacheloritis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's the American paradox. Be super rich and reach great heights in the business world like Trump, and have enough money to send 20 kids to college, and do it all with a miserable, constipated looking face - or be doing just enough to have your survival needs taken care of and live a very happy, full life, but without extra money to buy things that you don't need/think you need and without that added 'financial security' (basically types from immigrant families who are not thinking of leaving any money to their kids). Those are 2 extremes of it.

The thing about being average vs. being great vs. being such a leader you will be in a history book some day is that it's all subjective, and many of the labels that are thrown on others are simply projections of the ones doing the labelling.

To your question, there's no real answer. However, whichever lifestyle is chosen, there should be balance on all levels otherwise it will always feel like something is wrong with life. The key is to go within and create a rich inner life, otherwise, no matter how much success you achieve in the external world, you'll always be asking "Why am I doing all this?"

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why do all those? You can have all of them. I'm just gonna masturbate, eat alone, play games and live on welfare or maybe sell some stuff. I'll just get a 9 to 5, a fat GF, a few loser friends, video games, doritos and internet.

Your life, your choice.

If you want to work hard on stuff you love and get all the results of that, then do so.

If you prefer to masturbate and play video games and the payoff of that is worth it to you, then do so.

Of course most want to be jacked, fuck hotties, make millions but only few can endure the hard work required to get there

It's easier for me to work hard and go to the gym than it is to do nothing. Hard work isn't bad (remove the stress!). Gym is fun to work hard at.

Women are a pain but I've taken many steps to reduce their negative impact on my life while retaining the positive.

I don't even have a reason to be better than average. I think not that I'm lazy or incapable. It's just I don't see a reason most of the time.

Maybe you've not experienced success.

More likely you're just not a self motivated person. You're happy with the bare minimum and working harder doesn't gain you enough to be worth it.

Some people need to be starving to have the motivation to work hard. You are one of these.

And that's totally fine. Noone is advising you to change, we can't motivate you and it's not our job to.

You are MGTOW. Fair play, but it's not a sexual strategy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The truth is we all end up under six feet of dirt. If you can find contentment jerking your swizzle stick to porn everyday and playing asshole video games, more power to you brother. I envy your simple nature.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Aaron Cleary has a book on enjoying the decline.

The problem is being mindless about it. Work hard, but do it for a reason, and know the tradeoffs.

The issue isn't about 'why' its that you haven't given yourself a mission, or a purpose

[–]abc69[🍰] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Which book is that? I heard that author's name before.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Enjoy the Decline" by Aaron Clarey. So far im not the biggest fan of some conclusions, but like everything, i see value in the idea of checking the costs before signing up for something

[–]IVIaskerade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because I cannot do otherwise.

[–]HedoNNN 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I come from the other side... I was into video game, pen & paper RPG, had a boring but well paid job and the hottest girl from the RPG club (she was good looking by the way and a fucking slut).
I was obese, never did sport.
I just wasn't happy.
Something was missing.
When everything felt apart, gf left, loose job, etc. I had to move my ass.
I'm now addicted on improving myself.
I assume working hard on me and my businesses will never be easy. Because it is not.
I'm not a morning person yet I woke up earlier and earlier for exercise, meditation and keep ahead of my work, I approach women, I lift... I don't forget having a bit of entertainment here and there (I still play a bit of obscure videogames known as roguelikes). But now I can confidently say that I'm happy.
I can feel it, when on holidays, if too many days spend with me doing nothing to improve myself my mood suffer drastically.
Discipline is Freedom.
Try laziness if you must, nothing beat personal experience.

[–]porzingod1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why work hard for anything in life when you can just live in a fairy tale?

[–]mrpoopistan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TRP doesn't provide purpose. It merely offers to peel back a bit of the bullshit you've been told.

[–]RedditAdminsSuck_88 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You can choose to be a faggot who doesn't meet his potential or you can choose to be a man who tries to push his limits. Your call.

[–]BullshittingNonsense 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Self improvement is masturbation, now self destruction... But actually it doesn't objectively mean anything. Your life is yours to create. However, I doubt you'll find many content, happy, satisfied, whatever word you wanna use people who are alone playing video games and masturbating. You can be just as empty chasing success though. Balance is all.

[–]iwantTRP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It depends on what you want out of life and what makes you happy.

[–]hamstercide 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I made more money than 80% of people my age by working hard.

Might I ask how?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have ever felt that you have no future left, that no one will hire you or you cannot fix your life anymore? Then an oppprtunity comes for you to fix it. Lets say a government education grant or a job oppprtunity comes along. What do you do?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Why are we working hard again?"

Because when God came into the world, he didn't do so as a fat, lazy pussy.

[–]Anthrotelion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was a documentary about minimalism on Netflix, wasn't bad. Two guys basically like yourself walked off the job as wall street schmuks and never looked back. They got rid of almost all their shit, kept like two pairs of shoes, maybe 4-5 outfits of clothes, guitar, laptop, and toiletries. Improving yourself is often an enjoyable experience. But millions of dollars and all the casual sex you could ever want is an empty idea to a lot of people. These guys said they wanted to live "a less cluttered life" and they wanted to live "deliberately". That's a pretty neat idea to me.