Fucked a girl with a bf. Now she wants to leave him to be with me (self.asktrp)

submitted by Boovs4life

I know this is a very obvious red flag and i know i should run as soon as she asked to be with me but i guess i need a RP answer.

Ive known this HB8 that goes to my same gym since the summer but i was too pussy to do anything about it. Anyway, she came home for the holidays and I told myself i wouldn't mess this up again so i immediately started talking to her and said we should get a workout in together and got her Snapchat.

She then messages me about 2 hours later to ask when we're gonna get that workout in. We start flirting back and forth and leaves the part where she had a bf until the end. That still didn't stop me because we were just gonna workout. After we finish, she asks "what are we gonna do after the gym?" So i take her out and within 2 hours she's stroking my dick. We did practically everything except fuck because "she didn't wanna cross a line and what we were doing wasn't technically sex" (hamstering).

Long story short, now she's telling me that when she's with her bf all she can think about is me, even when she's having sex with him. So she is contemplating breaking up with him to be with me. I told her that i wasn't ready for a relationship and she said it's ok that we will "see where it goes." Part of her wants me to tell her to break up with him but I know that by (almost) fucking me while in a relationship, she won't hesitate to do it again with someone else.

I guess my question is, how should i approach this without making it a bigger deal than it needs to be? I'd like to keep her as a plate but she doesn't seem to want that.

[–]Work_In_Progress92 142 points143 points  (10 children)

Can't turn a ho into a housewife.

[–]2dfx 20 points21 points  (1 child)

That being said, you can't have a housewife without the ho

[–]Work_In_Progress92 9 points10 points  (0 children)

...Nicely done.

[–]dongpal -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Kim Kardashian!

[–]imboredofitall 50 points51 points  (1 child)

I’ve been there, what will happen is you’ll always doubt her and know what she is capable of. You will end up either leaving her, which will honestly confuse and anger her or you’ll end up with a girl you’re afraid will cheat on you. Hypergamy is a thing.

[–]tag2man 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Have had the exact same thing happen. Worst way to start a relationship. You'll always be second guessing. Whatever level of relationship, she'll be coming in with baggage

[–]LordThunderbolt 78 points79 points  (2 children)

Retract your attention until it's clear you two are gonna meet up to finish what u started. While she's getting caressed, kissed, fucked, fed, taken care of by her boyfriend, you're on the internet asking a bunch of strangers for advice. Stop talking to her. Until u fuck her, stop engaging so much with her, stop talking to her. If she's not dtf, all she's doing is stringing u along and keeping u in orbit. She wouldn't fuck you but she will tell u how when she's fucking her boyfriend she thinks about you.

She's seriously slapping u in your face. It's like she's cucking you and you're not even her boyfriend.

[–]Boovs4life[S] 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Damn. I never thought about it that way. Thank you for that. Really needed that

[–]515sofar 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Hi Boovs,

Firstly fantastic post, I'm happy to see that you've not muddied the waters of discussion with moral aggrandising about sleeping with someone in relationship.

You make this point well, but let's restate it as it's so important : you should NEVER be in a relationship with this women, she has proven that she is unworthy of trust by cheating on her boyfriend.

I'm also currently fucking a girl who is engaged, there is a great buzz associated with it. So I can see the appeal of keeping her as a plate, for now, cherish this buzz and reduce your expectations for the relationship to nothing than more than enjoying the physical and mental pleasures of fucking this man's girlfriend.

If you feel comfortable with this and are happy that she could simply walk away at any moment. Then ask her out for drinks etc. Or just invite her back to yours, you should only be meeting this women with the intention of fucking her on the same evening.

All the best now

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper 29 points30 points  (1 child)

If she cheated with you, she'll cheat on you.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

And to me, this is one of the most illuminating, liberating and satisfying truths about women.

Guys typically fall to pieces when they get cheated on. Its a big shot to the ego.

Yet, women gonna be women and the man has very little to do with it.

You cant prevent a woman from cheating so dont even try. You can lead a life where if she cheats, then you can replace her ass with little effort.

Dont mateguard, instead disregard

[–]360_no_scope_upvote 27 points28 points  (2 children)

You really didn't need to make a story out of this. Don't date a hoe, and you guys haven't even fucked and she's trying to get commitment. C'mon bro you're hamstering yourself.

[–]the_Milkweed 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Buddy should tell her to split so he can fuck her and than dump her.

[–]korewarp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a grand cosmic justice sense, this is totes what he should do. But for his own sanity, he shouldn't.

[–]smirk_addict 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You should never take a woman seriously who does “everything” but PIV. Women like that can rationalize (hamster) anything as to not feel guilty and often use sex as a weapon. So this girl won’t let you fuck her until she can branch swing. Also, so she can feel like she didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. But neither one of these things stop her from playing with your dick.
Slowly fade until she’ll be willing to sleep with you just to have your attention. Don’t even let her think a LTR is possible. Never hint towards any of the sort and just keep living the Dream.

[–]GuestsGetGreens 31 points32 points  (7 children)

Read the sidebar. This woman is a branch swinger. She’ll go from dude to dude, relationship to relationship. The fact that you wrote this post means you are considering it. It also seems like she is your only sexual option, which means you are not practicing abundance mentality and she is your oneitis.

[–]M23W0OH7FV2t 6 points7 points  (5 children)

dude to dude

Which woman won't go from partner to partner if OPs SMV is lower than the next person's? Isn't this precisely what AWALT is?

EDIT: the first question was rhetorical. The second was not. Upvotes imply laziness. Please explain why you agree with me, as this is r/asktrp.

[–]Boovs4life[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To add to this i forgot to mention it on the post. Her bf is the definition of a Beta Bux. She has ridden the cock carousel while her bf was a virgin. He constantly buys her gifts and she literally just admitted to me 10 minutes ago that she only agreed to be with him because he was a "safe choice." I smirked while she told me this because of how right TRP is about AWALT.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)


    [–]maintaining_frame 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    And, as Rollo points out: hypergamous, Machiavellian, solipsistic and immature.

    [–]M23W0OH7FV2t 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    The question was more of whether the specific behaviour of going from partner to partner if the former's SMV is lower than the next's and you hijacked the thread to show off some irrelevant knowledge. Why is this such a difficult point for you to understand?

    EDIT: ok, guys, I got it, I downvoted this too.

    [–]antariusz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yea, looks like she's ready to start a ride on the cock carousel, tired of monogamy for a while.

    [–]imdar3ald3al 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    Read the title only. If she cheats with you she will cheat on you. Simple as that.

    I'd just keep chilling, escalating, and you'll eventually tap it.

    [–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Personally, I hav no taste for this sort of drama, but if you want your dick her in, it seems like a done deal. Here is the best part: the clock will already be ticking on when she goes away. The only thing you need to do is not fall stupid for her. When she needs a new cock, just wish her well on the way out your door. Ultimately, what you do matters, not her.

    she doesn't seem to want that.

    You are the gatekeeper of commitment. Don't negotiate with terrorists over this shit. She might not want to wallow in the temporary nature of the relationship, but it's pretty clear that is how she operates any way. JUST DONT PUSH ALL YOUR CHIPS INTO THE PILE. That's now men lose everything.

    [–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]Boovs4life[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I've literally done that since the very first day because of that reason. Even figured out how to capture things on Snapchat without her knowing

    [–]319Skew 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    What capture thing?

    [–]mcr00sterdota 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    A relationship that started with cheating will end with cheating.

    [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    I told her that i wasn't ready for a relationship and she said it's ok that we will "see where it goes."

    Fair.... although be warned: when you say "don't want a relationship", girls will sometimes hear "ok, so it's hanging out and sex and maybe a LTR later", and will be in self imposed denial about you fucking other women. Not entirely your problem, but she probably hasn't understood/accepted that you mean "non exclusive".

    she won't hesitate to do it again with someone else

    Damned straight. So don't commit to her.

    She wants to branch swing. Sounds fine, just don't commit or expect her to be faithful.

    I guess my question is, how should i approach this without making it a bigger deal than it needs to be? I'd like to keep her as a plate but she doesn't seem to want that.

    Looks like she's looking to get out of her current rl, but doesn't want to be alone. You could help her through this difficult time. With your dick.

    [–]RPShitlord 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    You should tell her not to break up with her boyfriend. You'll provide the sex, the boyfriend everything else. If she dumps the boyfriend, everything else will fall on you. And that's when she'll find someone else for sex again. Don't get caught in the cycle.

    [–]Kommanderdude 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    First post nailed it.

    [–]BusterVadge 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Tell her that you're guilty over the whole boyfriend thing (even though you're not). That gives you an easy way out. Take it. This girl is looking to swing branches.

    [–]INTJokes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Tell her to stay with her bf and keep fucking her. When you impregnate her, make her bf take care of the child. Congrats on spreading your superior genes.

    [–]AlmightyFiNeSseN 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    If you’re not fucking her than your just a orbiter, ghost her completely. This is a recipe for disaster in the making.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    There isn't enough information in this text for me/us to give you a straight answer; please provide more information. Have you had sex with her yet? Is her boyfriend wealthy or broke? How do you compare to her boyfriend? What does she know about you?

    If you did not have sex with her yet then you are simply a prospect for her. Assume she messages the same shit to 10 other guys. She could be looking for an easy break-up; and a man to take her and transition her into a better position.

    [–]Boovs4life[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    We did everything but sex. The only reason we didn't go all the way was because it "wasn't technically sex so we didn't cross any lines" (her words).

    Her bf is a complete Beta Bux. 5'8, super skinny, bad haircut, showers her with gifts and is constantly asking her where she is and tracking her location on Snapchat. He never works out and complains when she drags him to the gym. She admitted to me last night that she only agreed to be with him because he was a safe choice. She hooked up with a bunch of other guys this past summer and made him wait because she "really liked him." Whatever that means.

    I'm 6'1 and am in decent shape and no where near where i want to be. I don't even consider my arms big at all and she complimented my arms and chest a lot. I also haven't told her much about me and when she asks me personal questions i redirect them to her. She always asks me why I'm afraid of commitment and i always change the subject.

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    all she can think about is me, even when she's having sex with him

    If there is a better feeling on earth than this, god strike me down now

    [–]friendlysociopathic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I know this is a very obvious red flag and i know i should run as soon as she asked to be with me but i guess i need a RP answer.

    The RP answer is that you should trust your own point of view, because it's extremely beta to require other men to agree with your gut instinct for you to act on it.

    [–]wolframheart90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Def don't get into a relationship with this one. A red flag is a red flag. I've seen to many stories on here or real life dealing with the same issue. What usually happens the girl leaves her bf for you to only have later her pulling her bullshit again and fucking you over. Either with her being with other dudes or one in particular. DO NOT GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER. Don't let your emotions and feelings for her cloud the obvious decision you know to make, Dorm let pussy hypnotize you

    [–]Velebit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    fuck her and than hold on to her

    [–]casemodsalt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Lie to her to get sex. They lie to get money and other things. Don't feel so bad about it

    [–]Stransky316 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I'm amazed people believe this crap.

    [–]iAMTinman_Dealwithit 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    GTFO. Spin this plate, but don't settle. She's giving you some dreamy line she'll give to another guy in a year. YOU have the power here. If she doesn't wanna be a plate - tough luck. Beggars can't be choosers.

    [–]DaftOdyssey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Just look at her actions. If she did that with the dude, she would probably do it to you and swing to another guy. That simple. She's nothing more than a side piece in regards to a relationship.