Why tf do I get teary-eyed when confronted. (self.asktrp)

submitted by unexpected_calves

So I've been doing everything The Red Pill has told me to do in high school. I'm wrestling and playing another physical contact sport, I have social status, and I can easily make friends and hold a conversation with other people. Problem is though is that for some reason I cannot control my tear ducts.

This was made a major-ish problem for me when this morning, when confronted by a school administrator for driving through a blocked off way into my school parking lot, my eyes started to tear up. This has happened only a few times over the course of my life, mostly when confronted by a higher authority figure or a large number of people, so usually when pressure is put on me.

I'm not an emotional person, so this caught me off guard today. I worry about this because if I get confronted by a police officer or someone else, they will see this as a weakness and abuse it.

How do I train myself so this won't happen?

[–]redpilledjoe 41 points42 points  (7 children)

Bro this is fucking me. I have the same problem

[–][deleted] 33 points34 points  (6 children)

I had this problem all through high school.

It stems from social anxiety you basically become hyperconscious of your eyes which causes irritation. It's pretty common.

The best way to get over it is to find the source of your social anxiety (for me it was porn addiction). I never get it anymore after quitting porn & years of lifting.

Edit: Eye drops also help.

[–]Eulerbrah 16 points17 points  (2 children)

If i stop looking at busty blondes my eyes will stop tearing up?

[–]Ninokun 8 points9 points  (1 child)

u should switch to asian butthole close up porn.

[–]Eulerbrah 2 points3 points  (0 children)

nah man, latinas exist for a reason..

[–]360_no_scope_upvote 35 points36 points  (2 children)

You are taking the situation too seriously. You feel overwhelmed by emotion, I suggest overexposing yourself to it so you get over it faster because you really don't want this shit creeping up at the worst of times.

[–]addwater 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is legitimate.

[–]yunhaila 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a valid approach. However, it's good to be wary that overexposure alone does not make the anxiety go away. Overexposure gives you the opportunity to try different approaches to deal with your emotions. You could try different things. You could own up to the tears, or you could focus on destroying the pedestal you've put on high authority. How do you feel when you see people who defy authority, either by talking smack, playing pranks, or insubordination? Why can they stand their ground in the face of higher authority and you can't?

[–]Arhamzubair 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Clear your throat when you feel tears coming on, it'll stop that tear duct response

[–]APSTNDPhy 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Meh. Used to happen to me. Just sort of stopped one day. Try not to think about it. Other people don't notice.

[–]minoc_uo 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]mrpthrowa 7 points8 points  (0 children)

have more confrontations.

[–]newflame97 7 points8 points  (1 child)

My parents were super authoritative and strict. Got screamed at tons when I was a kid so I developed a similar issue to what you have.

Honestly, after a while you just mature emotionally to the point where that stuff can't reach you any longer. The best thing you can do is focus on your mission, focus on your frame, and continue to challenge yourself every day.

[–]TheRedditGod 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Interesting. I never thought about it, but I definitely had this issue and it went away when my relationship with my parents changed for the better, after years of fighting with them over things I thought where valid but just stupid kid shit. Now my parents respect my opinion and my dads “ideology” per-se morphed into a combination of a lot of his established beliefs and a solid amount of mine. I honestly never would have thought I could change my dads mind when I was a kid, but one day I realized he was a human being tired of my bullshit

[–]onemantwo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have had this happen to me as well. Even if it is good news or being confronted, sometimes my eyes just tear up.

Example being: I was at work at the GM came up to me and said I did a great job and started complimenting/talking to me. Even though I wasn't particularly happy or anything my eyes just started watering. It was kind of embarrassing because I had another co-worker in my section next to me and he starting joshing me a little bit. Nobody ever said anything about it but still.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because you’re a teenager and an emotional/hormonal mess. Stop being so hard on yourself. Give yourself time to become a man.

[–]TempleOfIron 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Social anxiety. I used to not be able to eat in front of people. My throat would close up. Teary eyed when stared at. You get over it with age when you realise people are solispstic and start to care less what they think

[–]RedwallAllratuRatbar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It could be slightly paranoid disorder or upbringing. I don't have problems on date with HB, but random cashier can make me clumsy and stutter

[–]FriendlyAdvisor-v2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a MAJOR hallmark of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). A lot of the time people don’t show a lot of symptoms and are buried way beneath the surface of their issues. The anxiety sends a response to your brain that you are in trouble and in need of help from your tribe to maintain security. Crying is designed to show distress and activation of tear ducts tells others in the tribe to protect us. It’s an evolutionary response. Fight or flight.

OP you might have personal issues and anxieties that you probably don’t even realize that could go all the way back to childhood trauma with your family or friends or even a one time problem in your life that changed you. Little things shape us in ways we don’t even realize until much later in life. Get a therapist. Talk about your issues. The tearing up will go away.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talk to yourself in the mirror. Keep good eye contact. You’ll train yourself to say fightin-words as just words.

[–]electrogenisis 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not the same but I start shaking. I feel completely calm and I'm ready to defend myself in confrontation but i start feeling hyperactive and my energy level spikes

[–]Steve_Chiv 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you find that as a child, crying would easily get you out of situations? This may just be something you carried over from your childhood

[–]Stokestix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you're about to cry, think of words that rhyme or count backwards from 100 in sevens. Engaging the logic part of your brain shifts bloodflow away from your emotional centers and helps you maintain your composure.

Also cry yourself to sleep everyday so you'll have no tear left.

[–]Drakonlord -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Learn to fight or get buff. You reavt that way because you feep threatened.

[–]Kommanderdude -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You need to grow a pair and stop viewing others as having power and authority over you.

[–]NordJitsu -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You’re young. It will go away. Keep the path.

I didn’t get teary eyes but I would feel super nervous if someone older and more authoritative confronted me. It took me realizing that none of these people have any more idea what they’re doing than I do to get over it.

I’ve worked with Senators, Governors, etc. They’re not that smart. They’re not special. They’re normal people.

Your school administrator isn’t shit.

[–]VikkBlack -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Maybe you're breathing incorrectly?

[–]185poundsofhatredWIP -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Get confronted more, get used to it.

[–]Elfclan30 -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

austism? (I am serious)

or you are still giving fucks.

[–]TempleOfIron 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing to do with autism. It stems from worrying too much how people perceive you.