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How to transition from the friendly, likable "jokster" to the charming, seductive "suave"? (self.asktrp)

submitted by IFap2PoolPartyDraven

I'm the type of person who you would consider a "class clown". While it's fantastic for meeting new people and making friends, it's not helpful in the realm of attracting women in a sexual way. Being the "friendly, funny guy" only results with you being put in the friend zone. I think this is something we can all agree on.

I've recently realized my shortcomings in this regard, and would like to improve.

What advice do you have for someone wanting to essentially change their personality and who they enjoy being? I'm assuming I'll always incorporate humor into my personality at some level, but I'm looking for ways to utilize it towards my goal of becoming more charming, attractive, and suave, compared to my current state of friendly, likable, and "lovable".

To put it in more simple and understandable terms, I'd compare myself to the likes of Chris Pratt, and I want to transition into having qualities more alike to that of Robert Downy Jr. Chris Pratt is fun to be around, but at the end of the day Robert Downy Jr. is the one getting laid and commanding respect.


[–]Aaron_Aero 40 points41 points  (8 children)

Yes RDJ’s personality helps a reg body guy. But Pratt got with Ana Farris while he was chubby on Parks and Rec.

KEEP IN MIND... ask a bitch if she rather have funny buff boyfriend or just plain buff boyfriend she’ll probably go with the funny one because he’s fun to be around. Girls just want to have fun. You can be funny all you want if your jacked enough with strong frame (which Pratt has along with status).

[–]IFap2PoolPartyDraven[S] 9 points10 points  (4 children)

Perhaps this is where my misunderstanding of concepts is.

If my SMV and frame control are high enough, it overcomes my less masculine "friendly funny guy" personality?

[–]xddm2653 22 points23 points  (0 children)

you can be funny and masculine. It all depends on the style of your humor.

[–]TheRealShafron 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Speaking from personal experience, my frame and reputation in college is known for being a very funny and party type of guy. Since I give off a strong and positive presence along with being good looking in general, it has been easy for me to continue building my power along with getting laid.

[–]tornadoboy33 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Game is different for every type of guy. Experiment and find which one fits you most naturally. There are plenty of ways to game, and many of them are equally as effective (I.E. generic hardass, strong silent type, the fun guy everyone likes to hang with, etc.) you can get laid just as much yelling ‘yeehaw’ while getting a piggyback ride from a girl [thanks spaghetti] as you can staring a girl dead in the eyes as you try to command every move. Being funny is not a feminine trait, it’s a masculine one (look at all the great comedians). Just don’t degrade yourself and be the butt of the jokes.

You can apply frame, SMV, and all the other aspects of game to each personality type. Experiment, and find what works for you.

[–]nopeToThe43rd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It depends on the type of your humor, If you're effectively self-deprecating to get people to laugh at this idiot (which is you) then you're not going to have it work in your favor. If you're just shitting on someone else, or everyone else, also a bad way to be. If you're rolling people's emotions positively and happily behind you, bringing them into your frame so that they enjoy being around you because of the jokes you make and the humor you bring to the interaction, and you understand how to transition into the sexual theme - then you're going to have to begin to concern yourself with being hit by flying underwear.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorFieldLine 40 points41 points  (4 children)

Physical escalation. Touch her (hand, arm, shoulder, knee) when you make her laugh.

It'll feel autistic as hell when you first start. Do it anyway. It gets easier.

[–]DiggerClam 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is EXACTLY how you change the scene. TOUCH changes everything.

[–]IFap2PoolPartyDraven[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I've thought more into this and think this is one of the biggest things I haven't been doing. I do the "hand on shoulder to emphasize a point", but not much beyond that. It's now an area I know to focus and work on.

Thanks.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorFieldLine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. Part of what makes it feel weird is that it doesn't come naturally.

You're a funny guy so you know how to connect with people -- even though I could sit with a video camera and analyze what makes you a good story teller (certain expressions, dramatic pauses, level of detail, etc.), these quantifiable things aren't consciously on your radar when you're speaking.

Now, if you were new to story telling, and didn't already "get it", you might feel a little awkward including these elements in your speech patterns. Robotic, almost. But you'd do it anyway, and eventually you'd develop an intuition for it.

Seduction is kind of like that. Push the envelope, try stuff out (even at the risk of rejection -- you've told a story that fell flat, right?) and eventually you'll get a feel for what works.

[–]yesbuthereswhy 26 points27 points  (3 children)

Bro, I was just like you. I could make everyone laugh their ass off but I could never use that energy to get women. It took me until my early 20s to realIze that teasing and telling jokes are the same thing. Having a large vocabulary and being aware of current events or pop culture gives you mounds of ammunition.

What worked for me is just poking fun at a woman about something. For instance, I was at a frat party for New Years. I saw this gorgeous hot piece walking around. She was collecting beer can tabs. Without hesitation I say, “Hey are you collecting those beer cans so you can show everybody you go to parties?” I said it jokingly but with a bit of sass. A woman like her typically never gets talked to like that, especially from a complete stranger. She took the bait and came over.

She comes up to me and says, “Bla bla my names such and such and I’m a “blank” major.” I tell her, “That’s cool, I didn’t ask.” I was a little drunk and the DGAF meter was redlining. She asks me how old I am and I tell her I’m X. She says, “Oh my god you’re a little baby!!!” I say, “And how old are you?” Swear to god she says she’s X+1 so I say, “Oh my god you’re so old, you must be like a cougar or something??? Are you from Cougar Town? I’d love to go to Cougar Town. That’s a place I’d visit.”

To better understand that context, each sentence I moved in a little closer. By the time I said, “That’s a place I’d visit.” I had my arm wrapped around her and was about five seconds from kissing her.

Basically, everything she said to me I took and blew it well over proportion. Do this with any decent chick who has a sense of humor but also remember to touch her and she’s going to drip. Having a sense of humor and being a class clown is the easiest way to get women if you can master seduction. Women love to laugh and it definitely makes them vulnerable.

[–]IFap2PoolPartyDraven[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

This helps a lot; thanks.

[–]nopeToThe43rd 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This too, if you try too much to show how great you are you broadcast blue. If you instead gently tear apart their magical pussy pedestal, then they begin to wonder what the fuck makes you so great, and they can't fucking leave it alone, so they have to try to figure it out.

[–]yesbuthereswhy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Couldn’t agree more.

I think my biggest transformation was when I started treating women like men. I would josh them and say silly shit just to stir them up. Then I would show interest with a compliment, eye contact or touching sensually.

[–]PlzBuffBeamu 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Read The Book of Pook.

I’m really fucking funny naturally and the key is that I don’t make jokes and shit to get pussy. I’m definitely more cute than sexy but that’s why i fucking lift. Now even though my personality isn’t the most masculine I make up for it in other aspects like my frame and lifting.

[–]Zanford 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You prob smile too much and laugh at your own jokes and antics. Be funny but in a more masculine way, closer to the deadpan style of humor.

[–]Aaron_Aero 8 points9 points  (3 children)

I’ve got the same problem. Though I will add that Chris Pratt is jacked (high SMV) and RDJ has that “I’m the shit” vibe going for him. That confident presence sort of vibe.

[–]IFap2PoolPartyDraven[S] -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

If you we were to magically give a random person the personality of Chris Pratt for a week, and then give him RDJ's personality the following week, he would have more success when "using" RDJ's personality.

Aiming to achieve a high SMV is a given. Theoretically, if Chris Pratt wasn't married, and he started to magically embody RDJ's personality, he would have more success than with his current personality.

[–]failingtheturingtest 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Talking about switching personalities of famous people is not helping anything.

Forget about how famous people act. It is a shit barometer of success.

[–]dark_rabbit 12 points13 points  (0 children)

^I hope you know you're being a real Mark Ruffalo right now.

[–]Ill_Will7 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Chris Pratt can fuck any girl he wants. Embrace being chris pratt. Just remember to isolate and escalate

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]Ill_Will7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    dude.... Read the side bar and study here more. Isolate is get her and you alone. Escalate after your alone with her to get things sexual.

    Its your job as the man to do the escalating and overcoming her resistance ( anti slut defense)

    [–]UnbreakableFrame 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Be more physically imposing than the men standing around you when you tell the joke. Self deprecation is fine when it's not the truest statement you've said all night. "I deal with crippling inadequacy about my body" is tongue in cheek when you are 190-200 at 8-10% bodyfat. If you are 135lbs or 250lbs at respectively 2% body fat or 35% body fat then it's more humorous in the tragic and overly honest sense.

    The whole "being suave" thing is seriously overblown. Just be attractive and set tasteful boundaries for the things that you say. Be direct in what you want, but don't be perverse in your off-handed comments. There's a huge difference that a lot of guys don't seem to get. A confident, attractive man can tell a woman directly that he wants her, but he doesn't sit at the bar all night telling "your mom" jokes. Have some tact. Act like you had both a mother and a father. Extreme comedians exist, and are often very funny, but these guys are mostly watched by men. I doubt more than 10% of Bill Burr's audience are single females watching him while sipping on wine coolers with a cat in their lap.

    [–]IFap2PoolPartyDraven[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Very insightful, thank you.

    [–]veritasredd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Read the book of pook and The alpha rules. Make sure to not only read it but also apply it in your daily life.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [deleted]

    [–]IFap2PoolPartyDraven[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This is definitely an issue of mine, thanks.

    [–]iskandph 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    try fixing that cotton frame of yours

    and lift

    [–]onemanfortress 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Go for girls outside of these groups where you are the clown. Dont introduce them to those groups. Divide and conquer.

    Your case is way to common. If you love being the clown and you are happy with it its one thing, but if you are doing it because you feel rewarded with attention and other things that could be said are socially positive then you are being a bitch. Most guys do this and dont realize it, because they were conditioned to associate the happiness and the laughs of those around them as pleasure to themselves. The problem is that this makes you think in a way where you want to be validated by society. To each his own, if you have skills as a comedian more power to you, but know how to get out of that.

    The kind of humor that women feel attracted too, is not the clown type of humor, perhaps there are some exceptions, of course if you have huge status and look like a model, then maybe selfdeprecating humor will even be good. But normally it is not. Normally you want to make fun of them. And even if they dislike it, you dont care.

    So here's what you have to do. That might work or not, because i dont know nor your circumstances:

    1- Date girls that dont know your clown groups. They may know them visually and superficially thats it.

    2- The groups where you are considered a clown and there are girls you want, abstain from them for some time, and come back "different" in other words better. But this is stupid, can backfire and its too much PUA effort. So I would say leave it as it is, and dont worry. Because we all have social groups that are just to fuck around and laugh, and where you have no problem being an idiot sometimes, its ok for you, and you shouldnt lose these groups, but abstaining can actually allow you to change and grow. In other words, it is just better to try new things, than trying to change old things.

    - You must have heard of how some guys get hate by their former friends and groups once they start improving themselves.

    - If you are too much of a funny punchable dude. Move out of your comfort zone and try harder risky things in your life. Sports, risky sports. The rest of self-improvement you already know, like working out, and focusing on your objectives.

    3- Learn about mgtow, and not to depend on society expectations or group/female validation for nothing. Thats a priority.

    Now dont get me wrong. Humour is great, even for your health. So dont lose that part of yourself. Just maybe improve the other parts.

    PS: Needless to say you shouldn't be more, or less funny, serious, aggressive, or change for this or that because of women or society, or any group. You should do it first and only for yourself. Women these days are low price and low value. Its ok to want sex, and i get you. But really, having a group of friends that you can laugh with and hobbies that you put first before any hoe, its what you will realize one day or another...The world is easier and simpler than it seems, once you get your priorities and standards in order.

    In other words dont change for the hoes. Improve for yourself. If the hoes come to you, pump and dump them, because AWALT, or even easier, go monk mode.

    Its all good.

    [–]bulletzdz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Wake up and act like Robert Jr, or whomever you want to become. Every action you do, everything you say throughout the day, you micro manage, and ask if this is something Robert would do or say. If it's not, you have to instantly change or fix it, right there on the spot.

    For instance, you make a clown joke/act like a friendly clown to a girl or group of friends. You realize in your head, you fucked up.

    At that very second, you act as if you went back in time a few seconds earlier, and relive that moment. (Retell a joke, change your mannerisms, change your vocal tonality, facial expression, eye contact, energy level, body language). Yes people will think your autistic, but your brain will now start making an effort to change your behavior subconsciously.

    If you do this over the span of 6 months, you're entire behavior and personality will shift drastically. Do it up to 2 years, successfully, you should become a complete different person.

    [–]DetroitGangster 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    I've noticed a trend when it comes to TRP and humor. Is humor a bad thing? Like is it not an ideal characteristic? I consider myself pretty humorous and it has personally done me wonders with women. Thoughts?

    [–]IFap2PoolPartyDraven[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    The thing I see wrong with it is that when used in the "goofy class clown" way, it's not masculine. However, the responses I've gotten have made me reconsider; that you can still utalize the humor if you do it correctly to be more masculine with teasing, etc. Maybe I'm still missing something though; it's a hard balance for me that I need to work on.

    [–]DetroitGangster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yeah agreed. I definitely don't do it in a "goofy class clown" way. For me humor lightens the mood and gets them more comfy. What really kicks it off for me is suggestive/cocky humor. Not so much what you're saying but how you're saying it.

    [–]HIJKelemenoP 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Chris Pratt slays puh. Be Chris Pratt.

    [–]NeedingAdvice86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Thing is I suspect that he doesn't actually you know look like Chris Pratt so there is that......

    He is simply saying that he employs the Chris Pratt funny man personality while looking like a 5.

    [–]kellykebab 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    "Suave" is an adjective, not a noun dude

    [–]Ohboohoolittlegirl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ah big change that worked for me was changing the vibe of the jokes towards women. So load it up with some sexual energy instead of just a joke. The difference between a girl who thinks a guy is funny and a guy that's attractive and funny is the sexual tension.. /u/Fieldline suggested by using touch, which is the way I do it.. If she responds to that positively, add some more innuendo if you feel that's appropriate for the situation.

    [–]koedeloe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Just came here to say that I love your reddit name.

    [–]Bedtimeshine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Lift weights and stop talking so much

    [–]3nebder 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Add cockiness to your funny.

    OG PUA DeAngelo spearheaded cocky/funny. He’s worth checking out google dangelo cocky funny.

    [–]Moreofmore -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    Having done something similar. Start doing daily self reflection on all the things you are saying and answering some questions on the.

    Why did I say that? Who is it benefitting and how? How did I respond and how did others?

    I found that by adjusting the purpose of joking, I could guide conversations and tell stories better with a more focused outcome. Make jokes to make yourself laugh first. If you’re not, then fix that first.