Is it OK to hit on strangers? (self.asktrp)

submitted by knowledgelover94

I've heard a ton of women complain about men hitting on them. I usually just pursue women I already know because of this. But the TRP suggests we try to pick up women we desire in public places.

  1. Does hitting on strangers work? (Do women respond well to it and like men that hit on them).

  2. Does hitting on strangers ever turn out really bad (like the woman or her friends criticize you for hitting on them).

  3. Shouldn't you wait for a sign of interest from the woman first? In my experience, every woman I've been with gave me some invitation or sign of interest that then made me pursue them. After all, women are the choosers aren't they?

I know TRP isn't into moralizing. I'm not exactly asking about morality, I'm asking if hitting on new women is actually a good idea that can be effective.

Of course the WAY you hit on them matters. But I've assumed in the past that women don't like to be hit on by even polite strangers. Then again, there's got to be some way to get ladies, and going for people you know is limiting.

Should I feel totally fine about hitting on strangers?

Edit: Thank you all for the encouraging insightful comments!

[–]chachaChad 74 points75 points  (2 children)

Only if you’re attractive...

[–]xgozax 13 points14 points  (0 children)

... to the woman you are hitting on.

[–]addwater 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What are you even on about..

Only if you have game*

[–]poochman 34 points35 points  (10 children)

Just add if they are low or high value to these type of questions:

Do women like to be hit on by strangers if they are high-value? Yes

Do women like to be hit on by strangers if they are low-value? No

[–][deleted]  (7 children)


    [–]a_nus 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    Social awareness is key. You can be as daring and bold as your want, but if you lack charisma you're going to creep them out.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–]a_nus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      No, you can approach a woman in a completely regular setting, and if she perceives you as awkward, she'll get creeped out.

      You might not feel awkward, but that's the thing about lacking social awareness (which unfortunately, many people on this forum suffer from.) You don't know how other people are perceiving you.

      Good news is that just like confidence, it's something that's trainable.

      [–]neverquitman 1 point2 points  (0 children)


      [–]reditnew1965 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      nailed it.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)


        [–]resnine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Your inner-self. If you radiate that she'll feel it. Her perception of you is based on the perceptive you have of yourself. Absolutely.

        [–]purplefidgetmidget 32 points33 points  (16 children)

        Yes it works, if you're good at it. It's called daygame and it requires a lot of understanding of technique and practice, and a rock solid abundance mentality because you'll get rejected a lot. Woman are biologically programmed to let you engage with them, if you can charm them they will be unable to move away and start flinging shit tests at you. They'll say things like they need to go but they won't walk away because their brain keeps them there so you can keep escalating.

        Yes it turns out bad if you're super creepy. Don't be creepy. Ignore if they call you creepy but recognise when it's a shit test and when it's not going to work. If it's not going to work, immediately and politely disengage.

        No. But you shouldn't be chatting up random women in order to get into their pants. You should be doing it for the fun of TRP, to have a laugh, to engage and chat and see what happens. If you don't even the strongest ego will be crushed, and you'll be miserable. You should just be having a nice conversation with strangers but employing pickup techniques to escalate and number close on them. Your sign of interest comes about 15 seconds after you greet them and try to chat them up.

        Actual daygame method etc. is very complex and there's a lot to it.

        TLDR: Women are biologically programmed to be hit on. It's in their very core. It's so ingrained they don't even realise they're doing it. Why do you think they dress up, put make-up on, etc. all the time? It's because they're programmed to try and be sexually appealing so that guys can try their chances.

        Understand that daygame is a very big topic though and if you want to try it, I recommend finding some good material on it and reading up.

        Edit: Just as an amusing footnote, if you think that alpha behaviour is giving no fucks, it is engaging without fear of rejection and with abundance mentality etc. - imagine if you that behaviour was so biologically ingrained in you that you didn't even realise it was happening... that's what women have. A girl who tries too hard to get people to fuck her is not attractive. A girl that is just naturally fuckable but needs to be charmed is very attractive. That's what they have, a built-in obliviousness to the fact they're trying to get people to fuck them, so that guys don't realise they're all sluts. And if you call 'em a slut they'll be incredulous because they (will say they) don't dress like that because they want to be hit on!

        [–]dongpal 8 points9 points  (1 child)

        Why do you think they dress up, put make-up on, etc. all the time?

        Because they want to look better than the other bitch.

        [–]purplefidgetmidget 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        When you're strutting around waiting for someone to adopt you, your only competition is everyone else.

        [–]resnine 7 points8 points  (1 child)

        Every girl I've ever posed that question to has said the same thing "I just like dressing good/fashionable" they pretend it has nothing to do with getting men's attention.

        [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        And weirdly it always involves showing off their sexual attractiveness... tight clothes, revealing skin....

        SURE it's about fashion... SURE it is.

        Women dress for social status, male attention and sex.

        [–]PredatorLeet 1 point2 points  (6 children)

        Anything particular you recommend to read on daygame?

        [–]purplefidgetmidget 0 points1 point  (4 children)

        Afraid not, my knowledge came from random books and internet videos. I know a lot about it, but I have never really done it. If I end up in a situation where I want to meet more people I will give it a go.

        [–]mala_madre 1 point2 points  (3 children)

        Hard to build up balls to start?

        [–]purplefidgetmidget 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        I imagine it is difficult to get started, for me, I'd need to read a bit more first. I've only recently joined tinder and it took a LOT of dates before I got good at chatting people up, mostly by applying daygame techniques I've read about and being clumsy at them initially but improving over time. I would need to learn a bit more before I started but then I'd totally go for it, if I needed to. But I already have a couple of girls on the go atm and it is more than enough.

        [–]mala_madre 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Just dont become a keyboard-pua

        [–]purplefidgetmidget 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        For sure, don't be a knowledge sponge and the same applies to TRP. It's not much good reading all the information and never putting it into practice. It'd be like learning to play the guitar by watching youtube videos and never actually playing one.

        [–]LBEB80 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yes, it's in the side bar. Day Game.

        [–]Ricardo2991 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        But luckily, talking to strangers and socializing is not complicated or difficult.

        [–]purplefidgetmidget 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Cold approaching someone as they walk past you in the street already puts you at a big disadvantage. Turning that interaction around, and building trust and SMV in seconds and keeping it going for minutes in order to get a phone number is not a simple task.

        [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        No. But you shouldn't be chatting up random women in order to get into their pants. You should be doing it for the fun of TRP, to have a laugh, to engage and chat and see what happens.

        Yes it's fun, yes you laugh, yes you shouldn't care too much where it goes.

        But you should absolutely be doing that to get into her pants.

        [–]knowledgelover94[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Mmm interesting (especially the idea of "shit tests" haha).

        [–]purplefidgetmidget 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        That's how you know it's working. Also note that many people give up too soon with flirting with girls, they misinterpret shit tests as rejection. She might say something like "I'm trying to enjoy my drink without being interrupted" but you need to notice if it's a shit test or not. If it is, the beta gives up, the alpha laughs and A&As, which is what she wants. She doesn't even realise she's doing it, it's like an automatic shield. But she only does it when she's interested. If she looks super uncomfortable, tries to get away, etc. then she's not interested or you've dazzled her too much.

        [–]Chad1738 8 points9 points  (1 child)

        Women WANT high smv men to hit on them. Just use your judgment on the time and place to get the best result possible. For example if a girl is in a hurry going to class or in the middle of a workout it might be more difficult to get a favorable result vs a girl is leaving the gym or is just hanging out by a bus stop. Use your judgment wisely but other than that have a high smv.

        [–]ECoast_Man 15 points16 points  (0 children)

        Not only is it okay, it's mandatory.

        I've heard a ton of women complain about men hitting on them.

        Don't fucking listen to this. This is the feminine imperative trying to betafy you into a cuck to act as a wallet for them when they're done with Chad and his football team at the age of 35.

        Women complain when the faceless, non-existent, neckbeards creep on them. Not when the put-together Chad or Chadrick bants with them.

        [–]2chazthundergut 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        1. Yes it is okay. How else would you hook up with a chick if you don't start flirting with her?

        2. Yes it works if you're an attractive male. If not, you need to develop and attend to the rules of social interaction. Start with just listening and practicing socializing in general. I am very unattractive physically, being short bald and morbidly obese. But I have excellent social skills, a sharp wit, and a rock-solid frame. And I have no problem flirting with strangers.

        3. It usually doesn't end badly, as long as (like I said above) you understand the basic rules of social interaction and are paying attention. Also figure out the difference between playful teasing and being an asshole. I recommend you become comfortable talking to random men before random women. Practice listening to other people and paying attention to them and their nonverbal communication. Practice trying to figure out what they are thinking and how they are feeling based on what they are doing/ saying/ posture/ facial expressions/ etc. You need to stand in a group of people and watch a guy flirt with a girl and see how she reacts to it. Don't jump in right away- give it some time and pay attention. Watch, listen, learn.

        4. No do not wait for her interest. If I waited for a sign of interest from the woman first, I would have had about one quarter of the success that I have had.

        5. The first stage in flirting, as with everything, is frame. What is your reality? Are you a nervous, low-value man who is lucky to be talking to this chick? Is she doing you a favor by talking to you? Or, are you a high value man? Are you confident and comfortable with yourself? Is she lucky to have your attention? Are you enjoying yourself and having a blast? Do you need her approval, or are you self-validating?

        Here is an example of how I hit on some strangers just this weekend:

        Went to a stripclub. As I'm standing outside waiting to get in, a group of four chicks is taking their time paying the cover. They looked like lesbians, but one of them was actually attractive. A little chubby, but a cute face and big boobs.

        Cute girl joking with her friends: "Hurry up Sarah! What are you a rookie? Hurry up, we're trying to see some boobs over here!"

        Here she sees me standing behind them, and points to me: "See he is waiting! Hurry up!"

        I just smile at her and don't say anything. Then it's her turn to pay, and she gets the zipper on her wallet stuck and is fumbling to get her money/ ID.

        At this point TRP has become second-nature to me, so without missing a beat I raised my voice and said: "Hurry up, Rookie."

        Immediately all three of her friends break into laughter and one of them gives me a high-five.

        Cute girl laughs and says: "I don't know if I should punch you or high-five you"

        So I made it easy for her. I laughed and held up my hand for a high-five, which she took. Then I said "have fun in there" and they went inside.

        When I went inside I saw them sitting up in front of the stage. I walked right up to the cute girl and said "hey Rookie" and sat down next to her. Fifteen minutes later, she says: "Before I get too drunk let me give you my phone number."

        Easy peasy.

        Chicks want to be hit on. Just practice your social skills and nonverbal communication. And, most important, get out there and practice

        [–]knowledgelover94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Haha thanks for taking the time to comment this. It's inspirational, and I love the example!

        [–]HappyScribe 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Yes, it's okay. I'd suggest you get into the habit of talking with everyone you meet. In the supermarket? Have the choice of going to a self service or chatting with the cashier? Go talk with the cashier. You don't even have to flirt, you just need to get over the feeling that it's weird talking to strangers.

        When, switch it up by subtly flirting with people - and I mean all women, whether you like them or not.

        Then, and only then, hit on women on the street.

        [–]ichivictus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Should I feel totally fine about hitting on strangers?

        Yes just don't be a creep.

        Don't go in looking for validation or even for sex. It's a paradox where you want to get to know her, you are attracted and want sex, but your reason is to build a possible connection and then sex might or might not happen and you should be okay with it.

        I got my brothers into pickup simply to get them out of their shell. Works wonders for confidence when they go up to a really hot girl, say hi and ask their name then get her flaky Snapchat.

        But honestly, the best sex and relationships I've gotten are friends of girls I made as a friend. Social game is better to focus on nowadays. And nightgame, can never go wrong with nightgame. I just don't think daygame is worth it anymore.

        [–]Phoenixston 2 points3 points  (5 children)

        1. Yes

        2. No, not for you.

        3. No. Women are not the choosers. Men choose who they want to approach and if one doesn’t want to be a part of his life then he’ll choose another.

        Women like when guys they’re interested in approach them. The women saying otherwise are the same ones who bitch and wonder why the hot beta guy doesn’t approach them. If you have strong game there’s a good chance it won’t matter whether they were interested in you on physical appearance alone.

        [–]11-Eleven-11 0 points1 point  (4 children)

        wonder why the hot beta guy doesnt approach them


        [–]Phoenixston 0 points1 point  (3 children)

        Is that new to you? There are many physically attractive beta guys. It's not obvious to a girl (in many settings) which men are alpha and which are beta from appearance alone.

        [–]11-Eleven-11 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        I just figured women could tell by the way they guys carry themselves around if they were alpha or not. Even if a beta is attractive you can still tell if he's insecure and beta before he opens his mouth imo.

        [–]Phoenixston 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        Confidence alone == alpha. What about the guy sitting and doing work at the library/coffee shop? Or eating dinner? There are many situations where you just can’t tell.

        You can hazard a guess initially, but it’s not that difficult to put up an alpha facade. Just look at all the guys on this subreddit who admit to losing frame despite the initial attraction they received from their alpha actions.

        [–]11-Eleven-11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Well obviously, but you still definetely need confidence and its obvious when guys dont have it.

        I see what youre saying tho. A beta guy can still be confident but too chicken shit to approach because he's has pussy on a pedestal or whatever. Plus he probably cant pick up ioi's.

        [–]EsteraMC 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        Yeah, I do it all the time, but it gets me no results. 800 approaches and 1 lay (which was 5 year LTR).

        [–]MrSittingBull 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Yeah but if you had a sex machine for 5 years, the 800 approaches paid off. Approaching women costs about 2 minutes per every time you do it and you got 43,200 minutes of use out of one approach. Not bad in my mind.

        [–]cellphon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Damn you for real? 800 approaches?

        [–]noPTSDformePlease 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        yes, its ok to hit on strangers. go read "day bang" it discusses this concept in detail.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        depends on your definition of "hit on"

        [–]speed3_freak 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Yes, this is the correct answer. Going up to a woman and saying, "the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body; wanna fight?" is just cringe worthy and horrible. Instead, go up and start a conversation that is applicable to the situation. Within a few seconds you should be able to tell the interest level. As long as there is some interest there, continue to escalate.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        If you're attractive: yes.

        If not: you're probably going to creep her the fuck out.

        The only exception: if you're charming as fuck thus cast a halo effect over your looks. Very few people are so don't sperge out thinking "looks don't matter".

        [–]Stokestix 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        I've heard a ton of women complain about men hitting on them.


        [–]knowledgelover94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Haha!! Perfect. Just like ppl said, if you're attractive and confident it'll work out fine. If not, you can be called a creep.

        [–]Metalageddon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        They (often) complain because it's a way to voice how desirable they are while playing victim.

        Ignore this. If you make yourself into the best version of yourself, you'll have no issues that you can't address. Just keep working on you and be forward, if she doesn't bite, move on and don't waste time. There's billions of us.

        After building up the experience and thick skin, you'll laugh at the idea that women don't want to be approached, they do. But they want the rooms current Brad Pitt not random bottom 80%er.

        [–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I've heard a ton of women complain about men hitting on them. I usually just pursue women I already know because of this.

        They complain about men BECAUSE THEY LOVE TO COMPLAIN. Women love to whine. It's virtue signalling and showing off and sympathy garnering.

        They fucking LOVE to be hit on by attractive men.

        Don't fall into their trap on this shit - it's not how it seems from listening to them (as always).

        1: yes

        2: how it criticism bad? who the fuck cares?

        Sounds like you care what people think and modify your behaviour accordingly. Stop being so weak.

        1. No, women do not lead. Your experience of "every woman I've had gave me an invitation" is precisely because you only make an effort when they do, ie self fulfilling prophecy.

        Women are not really the choosers in the way you think. They have a smaller pool of dating options. Be in that small pool and know it, and the tables turn in your favour.

        , I'm asking if hitting on new women is actually a good idea that can be effective.

        Yes yes yes

        But I've assumed in the past that women don't like to be hit on by even polite strangers.

        Polite?? What's next, respectful to m'lday?

        [–][deleted]  (6 children)


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                [–]knowledgelover94[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Mmm this is insightful. I never thought of the idea to show your attraction in the first 10 seconds.

                [–]ht2k9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                I do it for the trp and for my self improvement, once I engaged with two girls just saying hi immedietly they laughed and I just walked away. Was it worth it? I really don't know. But it was fun. Will they remember me? Maybe, but no. Thought about for almost 3 hours and didn't really care after.

                In my opinion they are just strangers, it shouldn't really effect you. So it's ok.

                [–]ddiogenesofsinope 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                I'm my experience they do like it, but only if you are good looking/good at flirting

                [–]Swelfie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                Your #2 is a fucked up question and you should do some self reflection on that. If a little criticism is "really bad" to you then you need to man up.

                Some girls are just sweethearts and even when they reject you will still try to build you up. Others will have a serious bitch shield and lay into you. Laugh off the latter and don't be phased. You might be able to keep frane and even end up fucking her, or you might crash and burn. Learn from your mistakes, but understand that criticism from some random girl you probably will never see again means fuck all. Don't be afraid of it.

                [–]kylerosa21 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                What those women are doing is humblebragging.

                [–]anonimac42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

                its not about polite, even more most of the polite hits are misses, the man approaching should be the world owning asshole, and they are to be pleased to get his affection.

                even with that attitude, there will be many misses, that is ok, its not about women or what they want, only about what they can do for the alpha