EDIT: This has been reposted to the main sub.
Monk Mode, end of the first month.
It's been a month since I discovered TRP. You can see what that was like by reading my first post: https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3b9a0q/freshly_unplugged_sense_of_direction_is_in_ruins/
TLDR: I was in a bad place, found the sub, read the sidebar. I looked at myself objectively with my new knowledge and completely came undone. Enter Monk Mode.
What I've done so far…
Career (TLDR at bottom of section)
At the start of May I had just accepted a phone technician job for a POS company for 10$/hr. I was thrilled, up until now I had been suffering on minimum wage while trying to wrap up my drafting degree. 40 hours a week in a tiny windowless room fixing other peoples problems for slightly better than peanuts. After consuming the sidebar I just stood up and walked out.
The very next week I was offered a summer job doing mechanical drafting for an engineering firm at 13$/hr. Again, I was thrilled, I was so used to eating dirt the idea of having money for real groceries sent me over the moon. However, by now I was familiar with the concept of abundance. So I left my resume in the wild and continued to get calls from other firms, although no one was offering me anything better, and I was quickly discovering that I didn't find this line of work very fulfilling. I was drafting and helping design piping and ducktwork networks in commercial buildings, important work, but I'm too young to settle for anything less than a career path that I'm passionate about.
In high school I wanted to be an architect, but was turned away from the idea by other people because architects don't make that much money, and decent schooling is expensive and someone from my starting point in life would never make it. Well FUCK THAT! I know how to use the software architects use, I'm a motherfucking artist! I consumed books on design, took everything I knew about art that applied to architecture and I put together a portfolio and I sent that fucker to an architecture firm. And you know what? They fucking loved my work, they wanted me in for an interview. By this point I was reading 'The 48 Laws of Power' and I knew to be bold. I went in there and sat down with the CEO's and they asked what a guy with a 2 year degree had to offer. I sold myself for exactly what I was, a kid who started from a shitty lot in life and would fight tooth and nail to make sure the rest of it is a life worth living. That despite my lack of formal education I'm determined to become a great designer. I talked about the designs in my portfolio that I created with no formal education, alone in the dark of my room at 3 in the morning, craving the day where I'd be eating a delicious homemade breakfast in my own apartment instead of another fucking bowl of oatmeal in my dads garage.
They were impressed with my work and my ideas and how bold I was in the interview. They complemented my eloquence. I was flawless right up until they asked me how much I wanted. I had no idea what to ask for in this situation, It was my first 'real job'. I admitted that I didn't know what to ask for. They asked me how much I was making at the engineering firm and I told them, then I told them I was certain I was worth more (Should have asked for the moon). They agreed with me, but neither side of the table gave a number. One of the architects changed the subject and the three of us just shot the shit for a while (probably to make a better judgment of me). Then we shook hands and I left.
A week later one of the architects called me and said they want me to start ASAP at a starting wage of 16$/hr with full benefits, healthcare, vacation/sick time, and a 401k. 16$ an hour is a dollar more than the starting wage of a drafter in my state, and I didn't even know what a 401k was at the time of the call. They told me they want me to make as much money for myself as I can, and that the hard working teamplayers always get taken care of.
I was at the gym at the time, and I played it cool while on the phone, but as soon as I hung up the facade crumbled. I got in my car and drove around in circles for nearly an hour trying to regain control of my emotions. I was the farthest thing from alpha, I was a tumultuous mess. A month ago I was working a minimum wage job where employees and customers alike treated me like I was worthless, if you came up to me then and told me an a few weeks I would be making twice as much money working at an architecture firm where people respected me and my ideas I would have assumed you were trying to insult me. And yet, exactly that is happening. At the time of writing this I have just finished my first week at the firm, and things are going well.
TLDR: Went from 9$/hr part time to 16$/hr full time by being bold and playing the field professionally. Found respect and fulfillment with a career I'm passionate about.
'The 48 Laws of Power',
'The 50th Law',
'The Art of Seduction',
'The 33 Strategies of War',
Art is fun, I'm passionate about it, and it can be an excellent tool for seduction. The physicist Richard Feynman was known to do figure drawings of the girls in strip clubs, and it made him very popular, later he used his skills as an artist to seduce young woman into being his “muses”. I've recently started drawing again, starting from the ground up doing simple shapes and renderings in my free time. I also got a small drawing tablet and have been taking photoshop lessons from Lynda.com
It will be several months before I've developed my skills to anything worth showing.
My long term goal is to develop my aesthetic abilities in ways that will make me a better architect/designer, but I'm also interested in creating pieces for showing and selling in gallerias and art shows.
I've always found music very rewarding, but currently this hobby is on the back burner, I have a lot of books to read, and limited free time, something has to suffer.
For a while I was taking singing and guitar lessons, and I'm not a terrible performer. My interest in music is eclectic, but I was entertaining the idea of writing blues rock songs in a storytelling style kind of like old Johnny Cash songs.
I finally have some decent money, I've been eating mostly home made meals, mostly protein.
Example: Eggs and Greek yogurt for breakfast, chicken salad for lunch, turkey burger for dinner. I'll snack on almonds and sweet potato fries, and of course a protein shake.
I don't drink/smoke, and I stay away from sugar and white carbs. The not drinking thing is already getting me shit tests.
I go to the gym at least 3 days a week, sometimes 4, and sometimes I go twice a day.
So far I've been doing:
several types of crunches/core.
There’s an MMA gym literally a stones throw from where I'm living, I want to give it a shot but it intimidates the fuck out of me.
I like to go swing dancing, I started doing it a couple months before I found TRP. Although I'm still in monk mode going out to swing dance Friday nights does get me exposure to concepts such as dominating/leading the woman and dread game. It seems the more girls I dance with the more interesting other girls find me. There have been a couple girls that came out on a certain night specifically to dance with me.
I'm planning on moving into the city around October, now that I can afford it. I'm keeping my eyes open for a location that's close to the night venues and the art galleries In my city to better set me up for post Monk Mode ambitions.
Local music culture is a big deal in my city, its mostly doom'n gloom metal/rock/indie but It's a lot of fun going out to the shows. Also, I want to fuck some punk/rocker chicks.
So far TRP is my only 'male space'. Most of the men in my life are hedonists or completely BP.
After I'm done working on myself and have my own place one of my highest priorities is to start building a circle of decent male friends.
I am absolutely still in the anger phase. I avoid women, I wear a mask of indifference around women currently, mostly because I don't know what I'm looking at when I'm looking at a woman anymore. I'm having a really hard time reconciling what I've learned with what I want. I don't know how to treat them or view them in relation to my motivations, I don't even really know what my motivations are beyond sex. I know I want sex, power, prestige, popularity. But what are women to me now? Should I just view them as a means to an end? I want sex and they are potential candidates?
I will also be posting reviews for August and September, then one more "After Monk Mode" review for October. This may change and be adjusted