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Girlfriend made me sleep in the car instead of her room. Need some TRP advice. (self.asktrp)

submitted by rickityrickityrich

TRP didn't really seem relevant in my life until a few nights ago.

I've been dating my girlfriend for about 2.5 years. There have been some good parts, but lately, things have been getting dissatisfying. They have been dissatisfying for three things:

1) Gifts 2) Sex 3) Her Friends

1: I go all-out beta on her birthdays. I figured out her favorite spots, cook her favorite meals, call up her old friends. I host surprise parties in lavish restaurants (burning a hole in my wallet). She's got a love for expensive wines? I got it. She wants to go shopping in an expensive part of town? On the house. I once talked my way into a reservation with one of the city's best sushi places, negotiated the price down, and got them to let me invite 10+ more friends.

On my birthdays, I'm lucky to get her moving off her ass to do anything. She'll buy me discount sweaters, iPhone case covers...one birthday, she got me a picture frame of us. That was it. No party, no dinner, nothing. This year, she can't even make my birthday because she scheduled a girls night out to go clubbing. She says we "could do something" next week.

2: We have sex rarely. And I mean, rarely. She lives in a house with her friends and she doesn't want us having sex there (even when her housemates are out of the house). Her best friend rooms with her, and she basically hates me. We have sex once every 4 months (I've counted). I have to rent a nice suite at one of the more expensive hotels in the city. We never spend the full night together. Every other day, it's just porn and masturbation.

3: As stated previously, her friends fucking hate me. They enjoy getting her to spill the beans on our planned dates, and then coming up with hangouts that interfere with those times. My girlfriend has no spine and she'll go out with them despite our earlier, arranged dates. One time, I sat at a restaurant table alone for half an hour before I realized she had gone out with her friends and forgot to text me about it.

Believe it or not, I wasn't bothered by it as much as I should have been. Not until a few nights ago.

I was working on a project late at night, up till 4 AM. I had an exam the next morning at 8 AM. I needed to crash at her place. When I texted her, I got a response saying that I couldn't use her room because "she felt awkward". Before I could protest, she said she was sleepy and promptly stopped texting me back. I spent the night huddled in my shitty car freezing my ass off. I used my car's screen protector as blankets. FML, right?

I later learned that her roommate urged my girlfriend not to let me crash in the room. Her roommate said I can take care for myself. She said she doesn't want me in the room. Funny, she has tons of other guys over for her one-night stands. Funny, I've been nothing but nice to her for years and this is what I get in return. Wouldn't even let me crash on the couch.

I just found out about TRP a couple of days ago and some things are starting to click in my head. I'm a little sad because I try so fucking hard to make her happy, and she doesn't blink twice to having me freeze in the car (it was during winter).

I think she likes her friends more than she likes me. She drives them around the city and helps them out late at night all the time.

Any advice?

TLDR; Go above and beyond for my girlfriend: get nothing in return.

Edit 1: Sorry guys, I wrote this while my head wasn't right. The "sleeping in car" incident happened last winter. I dropped the issue. A few nights ago, she told me why I wasn't allowed in the room (due to her roommate not letting me). ALSO -- Her ROOMMATE has the one-night stands. Not her. At least, for now, I don't think she does.

Update 1: Damn, just woke up. This got a lot more comments than I was expecting. A lot of you have been wondering if this is a troll post and why I put myself through this and why I haven't dumped her. The truth is, this is my first relationship and I've had a crush on her for years. I guess I was hoping she'd eventually come to her senses and start reciprocating. But, it seems pretty obvious that's not going to happen. Fucked this one up pretty good. Anyways, just called my local gym to set up an appointment for registration, and I guess it's Day 1 of not texting/responding to her. Thanks guys. I probably will update this sometime in the future, and am appreciative of all the advice.


[–]abdada 207 points208 points  (9 children)

She's not your girlfriend. You're her ATM and choreboy.

Also, you have zero concept of TRP. You need 1-3 months of lurking and reading before you can even taste the pill.

Google: 12 levels of dread to begin.

I wouldn't even officially dump her, just fade 100% hard next. No communication.

[–]Throw59 30 points31 points  (2 children)

This right here. Go to /r/theredpill and read the intro sidebar as soon as you can.

[–]redpillexplainsit 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You're her ATM

OP knows this, his user name is RichyRich

[–]rickityrickityrich[S] 13 points14 points  (2 children)

Thanks for the reply. I'll start reading these things tonight.

[–]paradimeshift 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Drop her ass now. Every day you don't your being made a fool of.

Think abundance mentality. Remember if you don't respect yourself before anyone else, no one, and I mean no one will respect you. Learn to forgive but DO NOT be a doormat.

[–]ockhams-razor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly, they're all laughing about how you let them treat you. Truth.

[–]Overzealous_BlackGuy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You should have put that last statement in capital-bold letters.

[–]ockhams-razor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't even officially dump her, just fade 100% hard next. No communication.

YES! This... she's disrespecting you so bad, she doesn't deserve a clean break... just fade away my brotha.

[–]Endorsed Contributorstickfiguresk 62 points63 points  (0 children)

If you're her boyfriend, she has 5 boyfriends, at least. This is one of those threads I'd refer to as "high profile" beta bucks. She is not oblivious or spineless. She's pretending she's oblivious and not defending you because she agrees with her friends, but benefits from having you around. She knows exactly what she's doing and your lack of self respect disgusts her just as much as it does her friends. You need to be alone for a few weeks. Pull some numbers and write off the time you spent with her as a loss.

Honestly, this is so obvious you'd probably get similar responses on r/relationships

Don't blame her. You should have more self respect, now go sate your needs.

[–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (3 children)

Guys, this can't be real

[–]Squeezymypenisy 13 points14 points  (1 child)

He's not responding to anything. Though i have seen this happen multiple times. I bet this is a troll.

[–]recoveringdeleted 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got a chuckle out of reading the post, then I looked in the comments and was sadly not surprised to see a good portion of people responding as if it was real.

Some people will gobble up anything you feed them

[–]ProspectiveQuant 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know...there's no fucking way. I know men are pathetic on average, but holy shit, not this pathetic, there's no fucking way.

[–]redpillexplainsit 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I needed to crash at her place. When I texted her, I got a response saying that I couldn't use her room because "she felt awkward".

I bet it would be awkward if you came in and saw Chad fucking her.

[–]Kalepsis 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You don't have a girlfriend. You have an owner. You don't have sex, she pays her occasional fee for your service. Her friends don't hate you, they don't even know you exist; she talks about you behind your back and they laugh because you're so whipped. She doesn't go out with them for a girls' night, she's out to find dick, and she does. Often. She's fucked twenty guys since you "got together". She fucked a Chad on your birthday. To her, you are an afterthought, and you're enabling that behavior.

You need to look in the mirror and decide whether you are going to let someone own you or if your life has more meaning than a dog's.

Stop calling her. Stop texting her. Don't answer her calls or texts. Don't tell her why. Has she left shit in your home? Box it up and send it to her in the mail. No contact. Forget about her. There are 3.6 BILLION others out there, some of whom are ten times better than her in every aspect.

Men are not ATMs. Men are not free taxis. Men take responsibility for themselves and no one else. Cowboy the fuck up and take your goddamn life back. Read, learn, and work out, get yourself into the right physical and mental frame, then go look for another vagina.

I was like you. Raised in a Disney storybook fiction, where all the girls are princesses and you need to be Prince Charming if you ever want to be lucky enough to have one on your arm. But five years ago, when I was getting divorced, stuck with a house that's still not worth what I owe, and an ex who fucked every dude she could find when I was in Iraq or Japan, I realized something. I was sitting on my bed in my dark house, wondering where my fairy tale went, half an inch from pulling the trigger on the pistol in my mouth, and it came to me: this is MY fucking life. No worthless vagina with a mouth is ever going to take this. FUCK THEM.

You need to find your own balls. Then deflate them into every one of those 3.6 billion cunts you can find.

[–]perdill 26 points27 points  (1 child)

Ditch her, she clearly gives no fucks about you. This shouldn't even be a serious question.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seriously. I can't even read this ridiculously long write up. He's clearly looking for a certain response. Red pill stuck on tongue.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

ABORT ABORT ABORT

Get the fuck out of that relationship ASAP.

Dude, I'm gonna spell it out for you:

  1. If anyone did that shit for me in the first one, I'd be over the moon and looking for an excuse to shower them in love and affection. I'd probably just invent a holiday just to be able to treat them.

  2. Sex life has dwindled because she has zero attraction to you.

  3. You were right about your girlfriend having no spine, because she's behaving in a shitty way in the hopes that you'll end it so she doesn't "have to be a bitch" and do it herself.

Do yourself a favour: get the fuck out, and the next woman you get in to a relationship with -- make sure she gives back as much as you give to her.

[–]RPthrowaway123 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I don't think you could possibly be any more of a pussy than being forced to sleep in the car. My advice is for you to find your fucking testicles.

[–]Rorta 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Leave her and enjoy the rest of your life knowing what you now know.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper 9 points10 points  (0 children)

She said she doesn't want me in the room. Funny, she has tons of other guys over for her one-night stands.

...

her one-night stands

...

her one-night stands

You are not her boyfriend. You are her errand boy. You are the textbook example of how "nice guys" get exploited.

Women do not repay. They do not treat you well because you treat them well. They treat you well because they respect you. This woman does not respect you, and you've let that go so far that it's probably impossible that she ever will.

The more you try hard to make her happy, the more she will think you are weak, and the more she will treat you like a doormat.

You must walk away. Go no contact, never speak to her again, and get on with your life. Don't try to win her respect. It isn't worth your time... you are in a chessgame where you are down two knights and a rook. Don't bother dragging it out. Resign, walk away from the table, and do better next game.

[–]blimp11 5 points6 points  (0 children)

here buddy i am gonna lay this one out here for you.. im gonna start off by saying it doesnt matter if her friends like you, but.....

Have you ever done anything to offend them to the degree that they despise you?

I am going to assume the answer is no. Well let me tell you why they dont like you.. Its because she talks shit about how much she cant stand you, and how you annoy her to her friends... That should make it easier for you to walk out

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Edit: this is a troll post. Said he slept in his car a few nights ago. Later says it was during winter.

[–]TheRedLadle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll give him the benefit of the doubt - he says he wasn't bothered about her actions until a few nights ago. Then, in a new paragraph, he says about sleeping in his car. I agree that they seem to be connected, but it could just be less-than-optimal writing.

He later says he just discovered TRP a couple of days ago; it could be the discovery of TRP that caused him to be bothered by her actions.

[–]wanderer779 0 points1 point  (0 children)

don't forget not everyone lives in the northern hemisphere. I still think you are right though

[–]TheRedLadle 4 points5 points  (1 child)

You don't need TRP knowledge or beliefs to see you're being treated like shit. From the tone of your post I think you know you have to break up with her but are scared to do it and want reassurance.

Follow /u/abdada 's advice and just sever any contact with her; don't give her the satisfaction of knowing why you're breaking up or that her actions got to you.

[–]abdada 5 points6 points  (0 children)

More likely she's fucking other dudes and saying she's helping her friends out or blaming her roommate's fake discomfort.

[–]Azzmo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This year, she can't even make my birthday because she scheduled a girls night out to go clubbing.

Stopped reading here. She's cheating on you. Move on.

[–]Endorsed Contributorfnordsnord 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Go zero contact. Pursue women who are into you. A woman who leaves you out in the cold all night is NOT into you. You are DONE.

[–]prodigy2throw 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wtf

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You don't even really have to dump this one since she's not really your girlfriend anyway.

Just ghost. Stop calling, texting, and doing shit and go meet other girls. Hit the gym. Make money. Focus on you. Have fun for a change.

When she bothers you about something, ignore or blow her off if you're busy. If you're not, escalate toward sex, then just leave and go silent if she gives you a no or pushes back. Then go back to your own thing. Repeat.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 2 points3 points  (0 children)

DUMP.HER.ASS.

There are about 17 things wrong with this scenario, but this is gets the Death Penalty:

This year, she can't even make my birthday because she scheduled a girls night out to go clubbing.

This shit is UNFORGIVABLE. AFASIC, your birthday should be a National FUCKING Holiday. Home cooked dinner, steak, slow blow, and she gives up the ass (assuming you want it).

Her friends are CUNTS.

Don't even call her. Hard next, no communication. If you run into her on the street and she engages you, tell her when she's an old used up hosebag (i.e. about 18 months from now), when her phone doesn't ring, that will be you.

FUCK HER.

Uncle Vasya

[–]50-cal 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's been a while since I've got the chance to make a comment so simple and there was almost certainly another guy in her bed so here goes...

Ahem...

NEXT!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As stated previously, her friends fucking hate me.

Her friends only know (believe) what she tells them about you.

A few nights ago, she told me why I wasn't allowed in the room (due to her roommate not letting me). ALSO -- Her ROOMMATE has the one-night stands. Not her. At least, for now, I don't think she does.

Your GF had a guy over.

[–]StillThriving 1 point2 points  (0 children)

almost too good to be true lmao. anyway you came to the right place op.

[–]thebadmanpuntdbaxter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"FML"? Cut the shit with the victim mindset. You are the only one responsible for yourself. You spoiling her stupid doesn't entitle you to anything from her so stop wasting your time

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your relationship is too far gone at this point. She has no respect for you and it seems like you have little respect for yourself. Dump her and move on

[–]flatox 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my, i don't even know where to begin...

You need to dump her ass asap. And never give a fuck about her again. If you're not willing to do that, you're as good as lost.

I know most people say to dump their girls ass always when there is the slightest thing, but i don't. I do believe in good healthy relationships.

But this right here.. What. The. Fuck.

[–]3rt41 1 point2 points  (0 children)

TRP advice right here for you bro:

Break the fuck up with her right now and don't let shit like that happen to you ever again with another woman. Learn the fucking lesson.

[–]Totsean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tip:

Lift, break up. She ain't worth a dime.

I played the nice, courting guy on one girl and she kept eating it up, I was like wait why do I have to be a literal asshole to girls to get them wet and going.

At the end of the date, I wouldn't close the deal and I was like, wtf man. I dropped her ass few days ago but it was a good test.

Any girl I date, ends up in my bed the first time, if that doesn't happen, I drop their ass.

Simple, you got to put yourself before her. Be selfish. Be fucking selfish with your time, make it earn it. Don't give it away.

[–]CuntyMcFagNuts69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Blue Pill strikes again. Troll post

[–]CAlgaryimport 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't talk to her any more or mentally set up a date that you will stop talking to her completely block/ignore. During the time you give yourself before you break it off start talking and having sex with other women. By slowly weaning yourself it'll be easier or maybe harder as she will start to latch on to you. If you feel your going soft emotionally remember without a doubt she has been seeing other people almost for sure.

Don't be a pussy stop buying her things stop making the effort. You will notice an improvement in her actions toward you but I recommend you do not attempt to engage her again until you have fixed yourself.

[–]rattamahatta 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's your question? How do you get your girlfriend to treat you like a human being? Zero chance of this happening. Ever. Don't even try to salvage this wreck of a relationship. Don't act 'alpha' towards her. Don't have a 'discussion' with her about how things are going to be different. You have a cancer in your life and needs to be cut out now before it kills your soul.

[–]Yrenq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every comment reply you are getting is to get rid of her, quite rightfully too.

You said it yourself, you go above and beyond for her and get nothing in return. This girl doesn't care for you at all. All she is for you is a drain on your wallet, your time, your emotional energy. She is effectively cockblocking you as well.

Ask yourself, why are you still with her? If you are honest with yourself you won't have a satisfying answer.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]jeezydasnowman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He has lost his manhood. Leave and find it

[–]blackberryx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Follow the advice on here and read the sidebar. you need to stop talking to this woman ASAP cut all contact. i hope in a few days of lurking and reading you'll be pissed off at how naive and stupid you really are and use that anger to push you to change.

[–]F_Dingo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any advice?

Yeah, cut her out of your life COMPLETELY! You're being treated like total garbage.

[–]favours_of_the_moon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NEXT

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude. You suck. Like really bad. Why are on here bragging about it? Troll post?

[–]FreelanceTradeCraft 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You already know what you need to do.

[–]Luckyluke23 0 points1 point  (2 children)

if you have any money and self respect left.

step one: get apartment with tv and without her step 2: make sure you have nfl game pass step 3: get beer snacks and possible weed step 4: put on fav nfl team game and get blitz out of your skull step 5 wake up next day feeling like death and wonder what happened.

/ end troll you just need to do some shit for your self man. i'd just bail like it's a skateboard trick gone wrong and do some shit that YOU want to do man. I'd also go out 7 nights a week and talk to as MANY chicks as you can.

why"? because A) you will realize there are other girls out there B) possible sex

so get out there man

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

A) you will realize there are other girls out there

Am I the only one here who can't stand listening to/talking to/interacting with club sluts?

[–]Luckyluke23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol.

I got stung by a club slut a few weeks ago. i don't think I've been to the club since lol.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The effort required to stay is too much for it to be worthwhile at all.

[–]Darkuso 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is just.... sad. If you are not trolling, go read the sidebar over and over again until you know it of memory.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you knew everything on TRP you might be able to save this relationship, but you probably wouldn't want to.

Next her and go monk. That's the only way to truly transform yourself in a way that is permanent for you and convincing for everyone else.

Maybe in 6 months you'll see her again and she will act completely different towards you or maybe you'll be too busy with plates to even notice her.

But right now, you are an orbiter that she strings along with the promise of sex (broken promises).

You give her too much and when she hasn't done anything to earn it. You put up with her friends and let her treat you poorly. You fawn all over her even though she doesn't reciprocate.

Gah. The list is too long. You've got to figure all this out on your own by reading the sidebar. Get to it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just found out about TRP a couple of days ago and some things are starting to click in my head.

What girlfriend? Dump her and start lifting. Welcome, pushover.

[–]mattizie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As much as I think this is most definitely a troll post, the influence "friends" can have is very real.

I remember I had a dropkick mate back in high-school that got with this very attractive girl (who ended up being the dux of that year). She had been very very sheltered her entire life, and then after HS, she was just completely overwhelmed with life, became friends with her work mates, waiters or something, can't recall. And started hitting the party life HARD.

Her friends didn't like my mate, and pushed him away, but knowing what I know now, it was always doomed to fail, the bloke was a skinny "gamer" nerd that ended up failing his last year despite general learning coming quick and easy to him: he would have passed with good marks putting in the bare minimum.

Maybe she would have stuck with him, if she'd continued to be contained in the bubble, but as soon as she got those kind of friends, the relationship stood no chance.

Last I heard of her, she was riding the CC, into hard drugs, and had already had multiple sets cosmetic surgery, all before turning 24. This was years ago, so I don't know what she's doing now.

He worked as data entry for a local company for a few years, before quitting just because. He has a "girlfriend" now, an older girl with a kid (not his), and it's really just sad.

He was my best friend through all of MS and most of HS, back when we used to play tag and other ballgames or CS, but now that my wife and I have our kid on the way, and I'm going to be a Dad, I've been thinking about just dropping him completely. I don't see anything positive that can come from keeping someone like that around.

[–]BoTuLoX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey.

Got nothing to add to the 63 other comments telling you the obvious.

Just wanted to join the pity party for your balls.

Oh, and welcome to the red pill, hope you learn enough to grow the new ones you'll need.

[–]Blake55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude what the fuck. Is this a troll? Why would anyone stay for that bullshit?

[–]94redstealth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

start fucking other girls and forget about her

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Youre not responding to anyone, so either youre busy, a troll, or youre still being pussy whipped.

Your actions show serious lack of respect. For yourself. You have to put YOURSELF first in life becuase NO ONE will put you above themselves. You have to be your biggest fan, and take care of yourself. FUCK this girl. You are wasting time. You can find a girl who appreciates you and loves you but first you have to love yourself.

Diet, exercise, focus on work/school/training for six months. NO online dating. Just you. Just whatever the universe throws at you.

Step one. NO CONTACT with your ex. She is no longer your girlfriend. I would not let my DOG sleep out in its car let alone a person I love and care about. She does not love or care about you so stop giving her love and affection she does not deserve. If you feel loved then you share love, you dont just give it out willy nilly to any girl around.

A girl who gives out sex willy nilly to every dude is a slut. The male version of this is to give out commitment and love. STOP BEING A SLUT.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Next, at this point she's more likely to be more intimate and caring of her dog than she's of you, dump her go find some plates.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To quote from the Ron Swanson Pyramid of greatness: "Greatness itself: the best revenge."

Ghost her and focus on improving yourself.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This woman has absolutely no respect for you. Why the hell are you still with her?

[–]ockhams-razor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude... come on.

You have to respect yourself first above all others.

You are a man living in the modern world. You need to stop fucking around with anyone (male or female) who does not respect you.

And, yes, her and her friends are blatantly disrespecting you. It angers me to read your story because I want to just meet up with you for beers and set your head straight.

This is not about ego. Never treat a woman like a beta, beta-behavior encourages disrespect. Don't be a blatant asshole, but you must respect yourself, honor yourself, feel confident in yourself as a man in a male dominated world... above all else.

fuck.

[–]americnleprchaun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

dump her, she's treating you as bb. Seriously, you're getting fucked in this relationship

[–]rpkarma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Solid troll m80

[–]notmyusualreddit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This seems so bad it must be a troll, but its almost the wrong way.

First things first, get ready to leave her. You must leave her because youre in the lamest worst relationship out there. It can only get better for you from this point.

Odds are 99% shes fucking other guys, often. It could be 1 main side guy, or she could be doing a new one every week. Who knows who cares.

Stop spending so much money on women. And if you are going to spend money on dates, make it with new women constantly so atleast youre getting laid every 2nd date you take a new chick out.

[–]moiez326 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dump her. On to the next one.