Just found out "illegally" that a female coworker has been screwing with facebook while constantly asking me for help, and I'm pissed... what can I do? (self.asktrp)

submitted by aryx9

I honestly thought she needed help because she seemed honest and responsible. We work in software development, and she's a relatively new memeber on the team.

So, nice coworker that I am, I have no problem helping others if I have the time and it doesn't interfere with my job.

Well, the IT guy in the company installed something in her computer (he suspected she was screwing around) and sent me full screenshots of her daily activity... and holly fucking shit.

She has been messing with us for months. She screwes around with facebook or skype all day, she constantly asks everyone with more knowledge than her for help instead of doing research by playing the "defensless" and "busy" card. She complains with her group of women about everything that doesn't go her way.

But what drove me insane was this... last week she was assigned a task. She spent all day chatting with her friend in another company and helping her out, and by the end of the day, she picked up her task and immediately contacted me for help, saying she needed a hand figuring some stuff out...

I cannot tell u how pissed I am. Now she always acts like the good damsel in distress, and people don't seem to see her for the bag full of shit that she is. I absolutely don't wanna help her anymore under any circumstances, I wanna see her crash and burn.

However, this will soon create friction because I'm the most knowledgeable dev in the company and she can easily say she needs my input, and I cannot tell anyone that I refuse because she's screwing around instead of working...

Yesterday, it was even worse: we were having a meeting, and while this woman was saying her tasks were hard, another woman commented, trying to help her out, more than once, that I should help her, while the bitch stood there, in silence, feinging innocence and helplessness.

What can I do guys? How can I detach from this girl?

[–]refusewool 54 points55 points  (11 children)

Refuse to help her. Say you're busy. Tell her to research it herself. Let her get in a little trouble.

[–]aryx9[S] 3 points4 points  (10 children)

I tried all of these. She basically ignored me and started bullshitting her way into getting more help: she's busy, she can't do this research so close to the delivery date, she needs me to tell her how it's done because I have more experience, etc.

And even if I manage to get her off my chest, it's only for a moment. The next day, or the next couple of days, she starts again: she acts nicely, and asks for help in front of others, to make sure I look like an asshole if I refuse.

The other thing I found out through the screens is that she's getting tons of help from the guy sitting next to her. Whenever I blow her off, she feeds off of him. Last thursday, we had a meeting to organize some work, and she went to her desk right afterwards. I found out through the screens that 30 minutes after she sat down, this guy was sending her links and materials via chat, while she was chatting with another coworker about random crap...

[–]Metalageddon 18 points19 points  (4 children)

"bring me a list of the solutions you've tried, and why they didn't work, so neither of us waste time. Thx."

Just try that. She'll probably disappear quickly because you can't really spin that one negatively, especially if you say it happily and publicly.

Ultimately you've learned a key lesson, unless you have evidence the person you're working with is constantly learning and pushing themselves, this is likely what "I need your help" amounts to. Sorry bro. Welcome to corporateland. Most often you should just say "sorry, too busy" from the get go.

[–]aryx9[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Eh, she will bring whatever crap she did that doesn't work, and then what? Once I told her I wanted to help her, can't send her away. And that's the point, I don't wanna help her...

[–]lukeyj_gtfc 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Headphones on. When she asks, say you'll be there in 5 mins. Don't. Be vague in help and suggest googling the following. Say you'll happily review code. Act surprised and say "oh, you haven't looked into this?". The constant asking for help is going to get stressful for get. Remind her you have your own work to do and will help if she puts the time into it too but can't do her job for her.

Be polite but firm. Look helpful but don't be. It makes life uncomfortable. If she's no good she won't succeed. If her performance doesn't improve report her too her manager. When asked, say errr Steve can assist you with this.

[–]aryx9[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'll start acting like this. And I'll keep telling her, in private, how "she has to do her job herself". She hates that.

[–]HappyMexican 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah there is not ONE thing you can do that will work. Eventually everyone will get tired of helping her though. I worked IT call center for a tech product. If the new guy/girl doesn't get the product down in a couple of months everyone slowly starts helping them less.

There will always be sandbags in every department. Just part the industry. Whether shes a woman, man, son of the boss, daughter of the CEO, under qualified minority, or someone who just got their degree in online college with no experience, we all run into this issue in the tech industry. You really seem too worked up about it. Accept there nothing you can do in one day (Legally).

Just keep pressure on her til something slips and try not to think about it too much. Email your thoughts on her performance to your manager once in awhile. Stray from helping her when you can, pull her aside for 5 minutes and let her know you are getting flustered about her asking so many questions constantly. It will be fine long as you smile and are professional about it. Put her on the spot when her manager is around, by asking if she got things done, or if she can solve a simple solution without help(Probably can't). Little things will add up for her to stop bugging you. Stop being so scared of her too!!

Truth will out eventually.

[–]refusewool 7 points8 points  (2 children)

You need to refuse. Don't say it like a dick but say you're busy. This is the only solution.

[–]aryx9[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Last time she asked me for help, she looked into my company calendar and found out I wasn't doing urgent stuff, and throw that to my face. I told her to mind her own business, and she immediately started bitching about me to others.

Point is, if I tell her I'm busy and she tries to refute that, I can't do anything besides telling her to mind her own business or stop bothering me. At that point, she can easily escalate by turning to a PM and bitch about me... see my problem?

[–]refusewool 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Say you're working on something. Keep it vague. You don't have to explain yourself to her. Who cares if she bitches? Your colleagues should know you well enough to know its bullshit.

[–]kasper138 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's what they do. You can only control what you do.

[–]RunawayGrain -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Lot's of people will say refuse to help. If she's pushing, just make lots of mistakes in it. Hand it off to her, and act like you never touched it, even if asked.

[–]Undehdd 42 points43 points  (15 children)

Just stop helping her... Simple as that. Eventually her piss poor work ethic will cause attention and she will suffer. Until then, just focus on doing your own tasks to the best of your abilities.

[–]Clapboom 31 points32 points  (6 children)

You underestimate the power of women in the workplace to abuse their resources and stick around as an unnoticed leech for years.

[–]mr_dannyocean 35 points36 points  (2 children)

You mean like the entire HR department...

[–]kasper138 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are the type of people who create a job about how to help people create fake jobs.

[–]aryx9[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Eh, yes, exactly. I agree with this. She has been working in this field for almost 10 years I think, so she knows her way around.

The simple fact she says to others "I need help!", right after acting nice and cozy, proves how manipulative can she be, because you wouldn't ask for help if you spent hours wasting time on personal stuff...

[–]kasper138 2 points3 points  (1 child)

You failed to mention how she is in the looks department etc.

[–]aryx9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Short, skinny, very tanned, no boobs, no ass, average face, protruding teeth.

She isn't exactly a looker, average hb6. She paints the "delicate flower+honest" picture, not the all raging bitch who comstantly tries to convince the PMs not to give her work so she can relax and chat all day...

[–]aryx9[S] 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Just stop helping her

I'll go hard core on this option. She just makes it difficult when she asks nicely in a way that makes you look like an unhelpful asshole at work.

See, at this point, I don't give a rat's ass about her, I don't even wanna tell her how to do her job, I want her to screw off and figure it out by herself. She knows this, so she no longer asks me to help her research stuff of code stuff for her, so she asks me just for my opinion. And I don't wanna fucking give it to her because she's a bitch, and my opinions, my ideas, my knowledge IS VALUE FOR ME, I don't want her to use it to survive.

See my dilemma here?

[–]JinSantosAndria 4 points5 points  (5 children)

You better learn to say no to people that ask nicely then, ASAP. Not sure you do not have some kind of idolized view of your workplace and coworkers, but you get there because you get paid for the job you do. You job is not to help others. If helping others cuts your work short, you can not provide your full potential to the hand that feeds you. It's fucking simple and by helping her you undermine your own job.

Just say no. If it escalates ask for a higher up to assign you to help her. As long as you are assigned to it, you get paid for it. You also do not have time to throw opinions around. Avoid getting into some kind of rage, that forces you to want some kind of petty revenge for her doings. Just say no, do think what you want, but act like the busy guy you must be anyway. Do not escalate it, do not blame her, there is no winning in this active direction, even if a HR guy would be pilled as well and know about your problem. Even knowing that the IT guy spies on her and sent you something brings you in a damn bad position if he ever gets caught.

[–]kasper138 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's IT. I'd imagine it's like women at comic-con or saying they play video games on twitch but clearly know nothing about it. Like taking candy from a baby.

[–]aryx9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not all women are like that, mind u. Another female coworker ai work with is kicking ass at the moment. The other bitches, though, are a problem...

[–]aryx9[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I never had to deal with someone who asked for help without actually needing it. Besides, I used this to get ahead by becoming "the best guy" in the office.p, ie, by being sble to solve problems others couldn't.

However, I miscalculated things with her, and it got to a point where saying "no" to her can unleash her gossiping and backstabbing if she sensed the tone was off or I just didn't wanna help her... fucking bitch.

I honestly don't know where she gets the whole entitlement complex to the point of expecting others to help her otherwise she bashes them...

See, the tricky thing is "aryx knows how to do this and doesn't wanna help me". This kind of attitude is toxic as fuck, and this bitch went as far as checking my calendar to see whether I was busy or not.

[–]JinSantosAndria 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's only tricky because you want to keep your reputation as a helpful guy. Even an asshole can solve problems others cant solve, but with a different mindset. I'm not telling you to go nuts, just that you can just say no a specific person without having to explain yourself. If they try to shift the blame that you do not want to help out, ask your superiour straigt: Is it my job now because I got stuff to do. Even then, you should be able to handle a bit of rejection and disappoinment from others quite well. Successful people are rarely people pleasers.

[–]aryx9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

U are totally right, I think u nailed the problem perfectly. I really feel like crap for being rejected and labeled as the "unhelpful" guy when it's actually the opposite.

I guess my gut sense got that straight from the start, which is why I despise her so much for this. Screw it, asshole it is.

And yes, I'll probably let it transpire through my behavior that she is gonna get less help than the others. Sorry man, I can't just not help those who actually put some effort and really need the help. I'll just become extremely busy with her.

Curiously, another thing I found out through the screens is that she doesn't make much noise if I throw the "busy" card at her. If I keep telling her I'm busy, she actually complains but not about me, specifically, but about the job in general.

However, the moment I refuse to tell her I'm busy and actually say I'm not gonna help her because it's not my job, that triggers her.

And her friend in the office (a female PM (in title only) who can't act professionally when it comes to her) thinks it's "unprofessional" to say this because "I shouldn't refuse to help her just because I'm better than the others". Not once did any of those two stop to think whether they were on the right path or not. I was just suppoose to be politically correct and invent an excuse (and they even wrote that to each other lol), never ever dare to point out she was on the wrong (which I did in private, by the way).

And this also pisses me off. I'm not new there, I know my stuff, I won't have some new entitled bitch forcing me to act the way she wants just because it covers her own ass socially, and professionally.

Telling her "I can't do ur job for u" or "this is ur job, u have to do it urself" is NOT being dick, it's telling her the dsmn truth, even if she doesn't fucking like it....

[–]aryx9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And what can I so about the work she tries to offload onto me when I refuse to help her?

For example, I know full well she's constsntly sating the PMs how busy she is, while I can see all the time she wastes screwing around with her friends via skype... so, if I get dumped on be stuff she doesn't wanna do, what then?

[–]failingtheturingtest 23 points24 points  (3 children)

Is it actually plausible that a software development company doesn't have a policy regarding the use of computers, and a policy to be allowed to monitor that policy? They are tools of the trade. The business should absolutely be able to monitor what she's doing with her time. It's not your responsibility, but the IT guy should know what the deal is here.

Her manager is the person who should have seen what she's doing with her time. And should be dealing with it.

Next time she asks for help, treat it like stack overflow (or askTRP).
What have you done so far? What isn't working? What were you expecting? What is the result you are getting?
Make it clear that you will help when it's clear she's done the work and the research but needs assistance. If she hasn't done anything yet, then she's on her own.

My go-to when people used to ask me for help all the time was to make them email me with exactly that stuff. Then I'd reply with how much of my time that would be and in what time frame I can help (not soon). I would tell them that if they needed me sooner, they can ask my boss what other work I am working on can be delayed while I help them, with their task. And I would CC my boss.

This didn't actually reduce the number of stupid requests for help, but it made damn sure my boss knew who was trying to interrupt my work to help them with stupid shit. Regularly when they get my "i can help you in 2 weeks" type response, i would get a "never mind, I'll figure it out" as if I was a bully for making them do their job.

TL;DR Set conditions for your help. Make them clear. Show WHY (I have my work to do). Include your superiors in the discussion. Make them prove a level of effort before approaching you.

[–]lukmeg 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Exactly. Sounds fake because in what company the IT guy would let this happen instead of going to the bosses with the data?

[–]JinSantosAndria 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Well, there are countries that prohibit the things the IT guy was doing, by law. You cant just take screenshots out of context, measure a persons browsing behaviour and walk to HR with it. If the company allows private usage of the equipment, like checking your private emails, this gets even more complicated. If a union is involved, the hell gets even hotter. In germany for example you need to uphold the personal rights, then the basic rights of informational self-determination (not sure about the translation) and finally the basic rights of integrity and confidentiality during usage of it systems.

[–]RedBigMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll assume this is North America. When you use company equipment it's assumed that the company is monitoring and recording you and you have no expectation of privacy from your employer when using company equipment (this includes company issued cell phones).

The fact that they were contacting friends outside of the company for help means she's a liability and could be a source of data leaks in the future. The fact she's spending all her time on facebook and skype means she's stealing company time and resources because the company is paying you to be productive not check your emails.

Likewise being an unproductive idiot is a good way to get fired. If she were a man then she'd have been fired long before this because noone is going to help a dude all the fucking time to do his work like they do women.

[–]nomorebsever 9 points10 points  (0 children)

As failingtheturningtest suggested - Use the "important for us to document approaches and processes - just in case there are opportunities for improvement for all" - then - What is the specific issue you're encountering? What have you done to get you to that point? What solutions have you tried? Can you provide examples of the code you developed so I can maybe see the flow of your thinking? Can you isolate the action or task that you think is generating the error? Do you think this needs to be elevated to management? (love that one personally b/c leeches will NEVER want to do that - they just want you to do their work while they take the credit). On a related note - let's bring this up in the next dev meeting - get the mental resources of the entire group working on it. :)

After a couple of weeks- she will find a new sucker (or a new gig) -

Important: Apply this approach consistently to ALL who ask you for help - last thing you want is her enlisting some of the other females or some mangina on the team to ask you for help and if you don't put them through the identical process, she screams FOUL. (and in truth, it's probably good practice to do it this way - we all just tend to want to shortcut shit like this).

Finally - Go to your boss and take on some extra work or a special project -raises your value with company and provides ready made answer to "can you help me"? "Gee wish i could but (boss's name) has me working on this special project and unless I want to put a sleeping bag under my desk, I really need to be completely focused on that all the time" (nb - this also works well b/c lazy people are, by nature, impatient. if she has to wait more than a week or two for your attention, she will find another savior - guaranteed). GOOD LUCK.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

are you her boss? if so, fire her ass.

if not, stop helping her. say you are busy with your own things and dont offer her help. if she complains, tell her she can go speak to her boss about it. the only type of help you should ever offer, is 'showing' her on her own computer. that way if she asks the same thing over and over again, you can bring it up later that 'she isnt picking this up and its taking away your time from more important things', 'ive shown her numerous times' etc etc etc. basically, teach by showing, not by solving the problem FOR her. next time tell her to try and you will overlook what she did after the fact.

but ultimately, its not your problem for her to get her work done. so yes, my opinion is to detach. people like this will use you and continue to do so as long as you let them. you are too nice. i was the same way. and when it started affecting me and i would get a 'talking to' for not doing certain tasks, i basically said 'fuck it. everyone else can figure their own shit out... whose helping me here after all? no one' - not my problem if they can't do their job. (unless you are the one specifically training them)

[–]F_Dingo 6 points7 points  (4 children)

What can I do guys? How can I detach from this girl?

The only solution to this "problem" is to stop offering help to her of any kind

"I'm busy, I can't help you right now, maybe later."

Her lack of skills will show in a highly technical field like software development. Once that lack of ability shows, she's screwed.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I'm wondering how she got this job in the first place. I'm only a few weeks into self-learning Java, and it's pretty intense. From those I've read and watched, you will most definitely be asked technical questions and have your portfolio looked at before you get onboard. This lady sounds as if she knows almost nothing, but is most likely getting paid $30 per hour. How? Must have blown her boss, or is fucking her boss.

If she's fucking him, and OP goes in to complain about her, it might now go as expected.

[–]F_Dingo 8 points9 points  (2 children)

I'm wondering how she got this job in the first place.

You know how it is with STEM fields like software development. Some broad rolls around and chooses a stem field, the university gives her practically a free ride, the professors behind over backwards to help her, and then she gets the red carpet roll out when looking for a job.

She's a "let's get more women into coding" hire which means hiring trash.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, that's fucking trash if what you just said is true.

[–]RedBigMan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's a "let's get more women whores into coding" hire which means hiring trash.


[–]threwewawaway 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Since most comments say not to help her—I believe that's a good idea—I'll suggest something different.

Not sure about the specific nature of your work, but perhaps the next time you "help" her, "accidentally" notice how odd it is that her browsing history shows she's been on Facebook all day and only started working two hours prior to the end of her shift and two minutes prior to contacting you. Is that a possibility?

[–]IVIaskerade 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Print out the screen shots and anonymously send them to her boss, along with a neatly typed letter explaining the context.

[–]PipingHotSoup 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Come on man how is someone going to anonymously send screenshots of a program installed to monitor use. It will be obvious where the screenshots came from.

He needs to get his IT buddy to do this, as that was ostensibly the purpose of installing the software, assuming he didnt go rogue and install monitoring software without any approval.

If his buddy installed without approval he could get him in a load of trouble.

[–]Reformed65 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Censor it.

[–]aryx9[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah, the guy wasn't authorized to do this, he'd get in trouble.

[–]PipingHotSoup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

sounds kind of like a dumb risk. couldnt anyone else in IT see what programs different users have installed?

[–]Glennus626 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Better yet, print out some of the screen shots and leave them where she can find them. She'll get paranoid and start shaping up or look for another job.

[–]binrobinro 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"You've been here several months, I trust you to figure it out."

[–]DanAffid 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Be nice, be charming, be super-busy at the moment, tell her you'll come to her desk to help in 15 min, forget about it, apologize, tell her you'll​ be there in a minute, forget about it, apologize

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

IT guy probably wanted her nudes

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I'll be happy to help after X task that I have to finish asap. Until then here are some research resources and I am available to answer specific questions via email."

[–]hstabley 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Why can't you show your findings to the boss?

[–]aryx9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The guy who got them was not authorized to do it

[–]Viking_RnP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At work we have a group of women who run the companies social networking sites and coordinate the events. They all act like they are 16 and fuck up all the events in a fuck ton of small ways that eventually add up to a cluster fuck that they blame on anyone else who was involved. One bitch bought 100 fucking signs and not a single stake. After saying it's not her problem she suggested we make stakes from old wood pallets. Fucking ridiculous man. It's all because the big boss will do ANYTHING for the women. Lonely old fucker.

[–]kasper138 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hahahahaha - sorry I can't. smh

[–]trppr 0 points1 point  (1 child)

how big is the company?

seems to be a theme on here about women devs not doing their job and shifting work to the most knowledgeable person on the team!

either you can fuck with her (safely) or just get her fired immediately. If your/her boss is any good then they won't care about the source of the knowledge, but will make sure she is fired for cause somehow.

obviously if you fuck with her, it should be with words like: how is so and so (friend she chats with) or hmmm that company (that her friend works at) offered me a job, should I take it? etc...

Just hint that you know more about her affairs than could be reasonable, yet layer in some plausible deniability. This will get her hamster raring up. You can also throw in some false rumours to get her head spinning more.

At the same time hamstring her efforts to try and waste your time by sussing out her specific work problems (as other commenter mentioned) and see if you can leverage any KPIs to further hamstring her and make her look stupid. You can use the latter when brining things up to your boss if the environment is anti-performance and pro-resource wasting.

Eventually you can really ramp up the hint dropping about your knowledge of her affairs so that she really starts to lose it.

Or just send the video to company wide chat or email anonymously.

Whatever you do just cover your a$$.

[–]binrobinro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Well, the IT guy in the company installed something in her computer (he suspected she was screwing around)"

Aren't most companies allowed to do this?

[–]RedEyesBlueShades 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You can help her verbally, without doing the job for her. Basically giving her directions.

She's supposed to have at least some knowledge, and you build on that. Tell her the general idea of how to approach the problem, what to Google, things to look out for. And then let her do the work. If she doesn't...

Say you'll be back with more ideas/help in two hrs, and you can discuss her progress. She'll show you her work, and you'll review it and suggest how to go from there. If she has no progress...

[–]aryx9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the point, I don't wanna help her verbally. She abused my availability and took advantage of, now I want nothing to do with her.

My ideas and experience = value she doesn't have, and value I do not wanna give her...

[–]mdcrubengonza 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ghost her.

[–]Mudpielol 0 points1 point  (2 children)

So, nice coworker that I am,

When someone says that, usually they are not nice at all. But that maybe isn't you.

As for the issue at hand, stop getting angry about it, it solves nothing. Don't help her anymore.

[–]aryx9[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Yeah, I'm a bitch for helping coworkers in need.

[–]Mudpielol 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You said it, not me. There are people who deserve to be helped, and those who don't. You found out in which category your colleague is.

[–]Andromeda1985 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are a number of things you can do and you have a lot of options but it also largely depends on the political environment.

I'd start with an escalation chain. I'm assuming you have a boss and she has a boss. start with your boss. Talk with your IT guy and form a plan (so he doesn't also get fired for installing monitoring software) to talk to both your boss and his boss.

If you haven't, start tracking the time you spend helping her. If it's as bad as you say, you're likely spending a pretty big chunk of time helping her.

"Hey boss, I noticed I spend almost 30% of my time helping <girl>. That seems really high and I suspect some foul play. Given her level of experience (relative to these other people at/below her level) I'd expect to be spending more like 5% of my time. One of my goals for the year is to be a better and more aware corporate citizen and this feels irresponsible. <IT guy> shared this data with me. Given how much time i'm spending with her I want to cap my collaboration with her to 1 hour per day. "

Your IT guy can take a similar route. but his path is a bit more straight forward.

"Hey Boss. I suspected <girl> was not using her time well and abusing company hardware for personal use based on her history of adware/viruses/IT requests. I installed some tracking software and noticed some very unusual and disturbing activity. this kind of looks like job abandonment and i'm not sure what to do so I'm escalating to you.

It is extremely important you work with the IT guy to make a plan to report what you've found. you also really need to make sure you cover his ass. I have no idea what the ramification are and if she can get a loop hole to sue you if she finds out about the monitoring software.

Working in software myself, most of the employee handbooks mention they can monitor employee activity on company owned hardware. It's also common practice for companies to monitor employees in my experience. A company I used to work for did this, and I also spent most of my time dicking around on facebook. They knew and they didn't care. For obvious reasons I didn't continue working there for long. your IT guy is probably fine, but i'd look into it. better safe than sorry, and you don't want to accidentally do her a favor by getting her a settlement and also getting <IT guy> fired.

Depending on how your HR works, you may also loop in HR (Talk to your boss first). HR's job is really to prevent the company from being sued. so they will have a big interest in this.

Also keep in mind that your boss, the IT guy's boss, and the company as a whole may just not give a shit. I've worked at a lot of places like that. the morale hit from losing her may have a bigger impact than firing her (even after calculating wasting your time) so nothing may come of this.

What should happen is your boss and <IT guy>'s boss should talk to her boss and figure things out. Most companies at this point would put her on an improvement plan and monitoring her activity would become a regular thing. provided she stops dicking around she gets to keep her job, otherwise she'll likely be gone in 30 days.

I'd keep in mind that most FTE assume 6 working hours per day with 2 hours for meetings, breaks, etc. I also work in software but i'm more project management. It's not unusual for me to spend several hours a day on skype or chat programs coordinating efforts. that doesn't appear to be what she's doing, but she may use this as an excuse (not knowing that you have full transcripts and i don't know the legality of you being able to view those transcrips). so you'll also need to show she's well in deficiency of 6 hours per day.

[–]NikoMyshkin 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Can't you find a way to legally make her procrastination be known? As in play the long game and then show the boss that she's been pissing around for e.g. a whole month? If she's doing it via her work computer then maybe you can legally see what she's been up to?

[–]aryx9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can't, unless I take her computer and show her skype convos to my bosses.

[–]BusterVadge 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Be VERY careful. Women in the software industry are known to file sexual harassment charges when things don't go their way. Stay under the radar and stay the fuck away from this one.

[–]aryx9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She can't. She's the one who used to make "kissing noises" when teting to get my attention when she needed help, and there were witnesses. I'd like to see her try...

[–]WillTyr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is sticky situation right there. The get-go is to say no. If she kept on askings, ask for her solutions first then work from there.

[–]DiggerClam -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Have you read the sidebar? AWALT

She's most likely been doing this exact thing all throughout college, which is why she doesn't know shit now.

I just got accept for a diploma of information technology and full-stack web development and they're offering EIGHTY % off collage fees if you're a female. So they pay hardly a thing for the course and then fast neckbeards will do all their work for them during the course.

[–]nombre1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What school is this? I'll self-identify as a sponge for 80% tuition. :)