How to hold sexual energy without losing my mind? (self.asktrp)

submitted by AwakenedSovereign

I've been hooked on porn since I was about 12. For the first time in a long time I am putting that addiction into remission. It MUST happen - nothing disappoints like pulling fresh young ass and not being able to get hard because she can't compete with 5000 pornhub tabs.

The hormonal / sexual changes of abstaining from porn are.. intense. Within 3-5 days I literally can't think about anything other than pussy. My body feels fantastic and my lifts get better but my brain just repeats on a loop. Worse, rejection and the inability to nut on my terms / when I need it spirals emotionally and I very quickly end up fighting ridiculous urges to fap.

Now I'm fortunate enough to be back in the saddle for the most part.. two plates and doing the Lord's work every time I go out.

But what OTHER things can I do to channel this energy? To learn to hold onto it and balance the tension without my entire world being about the next nut? And yet not waste it by fapping

PS I already lift and meditate

[–]refusewool 30 points31 points  (1 child)

Meditate. Free your mind from unwanted urges and thought cycles.

[–]AwakenedSovereign[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Figured this would be the best answer. I do meditate. But the "ready to hatefuck anything with a pulse" feeling is literally something I don't think I have ever felt in full effect before now. I will get used to it with time

[–]LordThunderbolt 9 points10 points  (3 children)

My man, I know exactly what you're talking about. Its like there is a fire at the tip of your dick and you feel like you could wrestle 1000 bulls. The worst part is after you bust a nut and that feeling leaves you.

[–]AwakenedSovereign[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Yepppp. That's it.

I'm in transition now so it's both exciting and frustrating. I am more successful than ever with women, hotter hotties, cuter cuties, etc.. but fact is when I feel like that I have a window of 3-6 hours before my will power starts to buckle. And I do not yet have a speed dial booty call level of power.

Combination of not being used to that "fiery" feeling and a nasty long term porn addiction. Especially annoying when I give in and then can't get properly hard for days, including when I pull and have plates come over.. UGH

But on the flip side.. once I reign that shit in.. and learn to hold onto it for the right moment.. bitch better roll out the way before I nut thru the roof Hancock style lol

[–]shawn10026722 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I love how you've described this stuff. Like we can feel your fire over your keyboard lol

[–]AwakenedSovereign[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks man. Writing was a childhood talent of mine and I've neglected it recently. Your comment has reminded me to make it a goal again.

[–]robodylan123 7 points8 points  (3 children)

I personally don't believe you need to abstain from masterbation. However, when it comes to porn you almost certaintly will benefit from abstaining from it. Abstaining from all sexual urges can lead to you making rash, impulsive decisions that you will regret. If you need support/motivation checkout the apps R-Tribe(get anonymous support from others and keep track of your streaks) or motivate yourself by putting money on the line with StickK(If you fail at your goal you'll lose money, this works for any goal pretty damn well).

Also, meditate, keep doing it, it may help you suppress urges and reduce stress and anxiety. Checkout headspace(app) for a quick intro into guided meditation.

Edit: Also, I got sidetracked. I don't have to much advice towards what to do with that extra energy, but you may want to spend some time with the reading material found here: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5gut7r/red_pill_books_compilation_v3/?st=J81QR5VQ&sh=424edd6e

In addition to that list; Mindset Mastery by David de las Morenas

[–]AwakenedSovereign[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Noporn is the priority but nofap is a bonus goal. Ideally I would be in such a position that whenever I wanted to fuck I'd have people for that.

May not apply to everyone but for me at least when I fap I sort of "lose my powers". The opposite is true if I orgasm with a female. After nutting in real sex it feels the same as if I had abstained for 3-5 days.

I can only imagine the energy/confidence I would have if masterbation and porn disappeared from my life, to be replaced with only real sex with cute girls. Makes perfect sense why alphas can walk around feeling alpha all the time if that is the hormonal "payoff". It's like your body rewarding you. The rich get richer.

[–]dontbedenied 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I'm starting to come to the same conclusion about masturbation and porn. I agree that porn is worth avoiding. I also absolutely agree that not masturbating can lead to rash decisions like fucking someone you otherwise wouldn't, just in order to bust a nut.

I've experimented a little with NoFap and never made it past 8 days. Maybe that speaks volumes about my self-control, all I know is I was walking around feeling like a caged animal and I didn't like it. Since then I usually try not to masturbate more than once per 24 hours, and ideally once every 48 hours or so. Last night I lined up date with a fat chick on Tinder because I was so horny. I masturbated and immediately ghosted her after that. Again maybe this has as much to do with lack of self-control and need for validation, but regardless, it saved me from fucking that pig.

All of that said, I also think that refraining from masturbating the day you're going out with a girl is really helpful. You can use that "caged animal" feeling to your advantage.

[–]MaximumRed 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I tried nofap and had my first 2 nocturnal emissions within 2 weeks, so I agree with you. Nowadays I'm fapping once every 5-6 days and that's with either straight up fantasizing a girl I approached or by using less explicit material. The results are amazing, it's truly rewiring of my brain to require less of absurd images and snowflake fetishes.

Thank fuck Manson's "Models" for the advice.

[–]Red-Curious 3 points4 points  (2 children)

The answer to how to deal with your urges depends on what you mean by "doing the Lord's work every time I go out."

[–]AwakenedSovereign[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I'm at the point where I enjoy almost total social freedom, reasonable status, have fun with things and am usually always in cad/flirt mode even if I am not actively on the hunt. These days I get the eyes almost every time I go out.. whether I act on that or not is contextual.

You aren't wrong though - the ultimate answer for where to put that energy is directly into some hot young vag. But it's a bit of a chicken and the egg question. I'm pulling the vag but can't control myself long enough to make sure the nut is ready at the right time.

I can't wait to see what it's like when I fix this though..

[–]Red-Curious 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You aren't wrong though - the ultimate answer for where to put that energy is directly into some hot young vag.

Totally not what I meant at all. But anything helpful I would have to contribute wouldn't apply to you. Best wishes, friend.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Not everything men have been doing for millennia is good, but much of our human nature is in tune with what we've been doing for a long time. Men have been whacking off since the dawn of time. It's normal (this doesn't mean it's beneficial - but it is normal).

Until about 20 years ago, men did not have a constant stream of porn - porn was a tame photospread in a magazine. And those images would have to last you a month since you wouldn't get a new issue until the next month. There was porn VHS tapes, but that was mostly for perverts. With many homes having only one TV, watching porn wasn't something people did regularly.

Until about 50-60 years ago magazines were rare or non-existent. Men still whacked off all the time, but they'd imagine a girl they knew, whom they probably hadn't seen naked.

A couple hundred years ago, men fapped just as much, but all they had for visual stimulation was women they knew from their village (only 0.001% of the population got to see the paintings of nude women).

I whacked off tons of times when I was a teen (in the 80s); mostly I fantasized about girls in my class, especially those who wore skin-tight jeans.

tl;dr - fapping is normal; men have been doing it for 1000s of years. Porn is not - we've only had it for 20 years in its present "unlimited" form.

[–]AwakenedSovereign[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree on all points

[–][deleted]  (4 children)


[–]ethreax 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Do you have sex?

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


    [–]ethreax 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    And how often do you have sex with her now?

    [–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    The only thing that ever made that go away for me was physical exhaustion. Since you already lift, why not do some physical project around the house you've always wanted to. Or better yet, build something with your own hands. I promise you, nothing more satisfying than seeing something every day that you built with your own blood and sweat.

    Also, no-porn is good, but man no-fap only makes me go temporarily insane and say and do shit that makes me shake my head in that post coitus moment of clarity.

    Tread lightly, and if you have to question yourself whether or not you should do/say/message that statement, chances are it's best to keep your mouth shut.

    [–]italianking13 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Jiu Jitsu

    [–]AwakenedSovereign[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Doing that. Good advice tho

    [–]Peter_B_Long 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Meditate everyday. That's probably the biggest thing to getting your mind off it. I've been doing the whole nofap / noporn thing since May of last year so I understand exactly how you feel.

    Something that I would repeat to myself whenever I had an urge was, "Do I want to watch these girls get fucked by some losers while I touch myself? Or do I want to be the guy fucking these bitches?" Of course I'd pick the latter, so then I'd tell myself, "How can I fuck bitches?" Well, I can workout, follow my nutrition plan, read, meditate, go socialize, etc. and just channel my urges to self improvement. Eventually, whenever I saw a hot chick on TV or whatever triggered a sexual response, I would automatically feel the need to find something productive to do.

    [–]AwakenedSovereign[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Sexual Transmutation. I've read about that a bit.

    Thanks for your input

    [–]Peter_B_Long 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    It worked for me. I was fapping every day for years and watching porn every single night. I stopped cold turkey one day when I discovered the nofap subreddit and looking back, the sexual transmutation trick got me through it.

    [–]UncleWarwick 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Learn how to breathe correctly.

    Deep breathing is how you move energy throughout your body.

    Read "The Multi-Orgasmic Male" for more info.

    [–]Moreofmore 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    That 3-5 day massive urge is withdrawal and not a normal urge. I've done what you're doing. It's addiction and you can't get rid of sex or wanted to fuck everything. I had to add on one more day at a time for me. I found that I had to work hard on staying distracted so I wouldn't go home. The benefit was my social lifeand hobbies got much better

    [–]Mr_Talent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    As you, I was hooked on porn since age 12 (first magazines, then videos and internet). I'm 29 now.

    Same as you, I experienced some problems getting hard after pulling some HB7. Tired of it, decided to cut radically on porn. I haven't fapped (to porn) or even watched any for the last 7 months. 1st week required some self-control. Then the 1st month. Afterwards it just became easier and easier. Now I don't feel the urge to watch it at all.

    But I did continue to masturbate whenever I felt the urge to, however instead of using porn, I used my imagination. This lead to less frequency and now I masturbate around 1 to 3 times per week, depending on having pussy or not.

    However, I still experienced some times problems getting fully hard when having a hot chick on top of me. So I went to a doctor and asked if this could still be from that porn addiction or if 7 months would have been enough to clean my system already. He said it could. Nonetheless I requested some T-exams to check if everything is within normal values.

    Regarding handling sexual energy, this is what I did/do. I never fap before going to gym. Doesn't matter if there are still 4 or 8 hours before pumping iron. If I fap I feel I loose energy, strength and motivation. However after the gym with that pick of testosterone that lifting gives, I feel frequently an big urge to fuck, so that's when I fap, or then at night before going to sleep, which makes me relaxed.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Weed helps.

    [–]AwakenedSovereign[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

    No the fuck it does not. Not for me at least.

    When I am in that gotta-busta-nut energy, smoking weed magnifies it. Trips some kind of pleasure sensor and then all I want is more pleasure.

    [–]Jedisaggu 0 points1 point  (0 children)


    [–]muddynips 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    All that porn may have crossed some wires in your brain, so it's confused about where you're getting your good tingles from now.

    Do you play any sports or have physical hobbies? I used to have huge emotional swings when I was just lifting heavy, and found that I needed engaging cardio to really focus my energy and stay even. An engaging hobby is it's own form of meditation, you just have to find something you're passionate about.

    [–]AwakenedSovereign[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I've just started Jiu Jitsu but also have a different hobby that gets me outside, in nature, socializing and active with my body as many times a week as I feel like.

    It's not my physical health. Other than deathgrip, you could call that physical.

    It's the wires as you say. My 'reward circuit'. Sex is still enjoyable but it doesn't normally have the same intensity.

    [–]1Terminal-Psychosis -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    Wrong sub.