I’ve reached a point of physical SMV that I thought would make women not only more attracted to me, but also make them care about me as a person. Lol, I know. Women get mad at me when I don’t sexualize interactions in order to fuck them. The less I say about myself, the more they “love” me. When I open my mouth and talk about something I care about, they become disinterested, until I fix that mistake. I’m talking about “the girls who aren’t sluts.” Lol, I know. I enjoy the attention that I never had, but I didn’t realize it would be like this. The Red Pill is right. Women will never love you how you want to be loved. They just use you as a sex toy, and as long as you keep your mouth shut, they can tell their girlfriends anything they want about you. They compete with each other over you despite that you’re nothing but a body with a dick. They don’t give a fuck who you really are.
So I have to find something else in life to keep me going. But I don’t want to just wake up every day. I want to enjoy life. I just don’t know how to find a mission worth pursuing. Nothing was ever taught to me and I was kept in isolation growing up, so I haven’t even internalized external examples of how to find and pursue a mission. I don’t have a lot of positive life experience to draw upon. It’s like I’m dry ice - I went from a solid to a gaseous state. I went from porn-and-video-games-incel to being an actor in the SMP. I missed all the stuff in between.
Looking for advice from anyone who has gone through something similar or who has expertise in this area.