Finally: the Red Pill disillusionment with women. How do I go about finding a personal MISSION? (self.asktrp)

submitted by boredgod

I’ve reached a point of physical SMV that I thought would make women not only more attracted to me, but also make them care about me as a person. Lol, I know. Women get mad at me when I don’t sexualize interactions in order to fuck them. The less I say about myself, the more they “love” me. When I open my mouth and talk about something I care about, they become disinterested, until I fix that mistake. I’m talking about “the girls who aren’t sluts.” Lol, I know. I enjoy the attention that I never had, but I didn’t realize it would be like this. The Red Pill is right. Women will never love you how you want to be loved. They just use you as a sex toy, and as long as you keep your mouth shut, they can tell their girlfriends anything they want about you. They compete with each other over you despite that you’re nothing but a body with a dick. They don’t give a fuck who you really are.

So I have to find something else in life to keep me going. But I don’t want to just wake up every day. I want to enjoy life. I just don’t know how to find a mission worth pursuing. Nothing was ever taught to me and I was kept in isolation growing up, so I haven’t even internalized external examples of how to find and pursue a mission. I don’t have a lot of positive life experience to draw upon. It’s like I’m dry ice - I went from a solid to a gaseous state. I went from porn-and-video-games-incel to being an actor in the SMP. I missed all the stuff in between.

Looking for advice from anyone who has gone through something similar or who has expertise in this area.

[–]1kick6 31 points32 points  (7 children)

Make finding a mission your mission. Learn to program, knit, work on a car. Just keep trying shit til you find something you actually want to be good at. Then get good at it.

[–]I_Luv_Procastinating 9 points10 points  (3 children)

I know a lot of people here including OP himself in this very post say that don't make your mission about pursuing girls but lately, I've been finding that intersexual dynamics (i.e. all the male/female sexual strategies we talk about on this sub) extremely intrigue me. Chasing after girls or vice versa is really fun but knowing how they really communicate is something I've grown to be passionate about. How could I make this part of my mission if at all?

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Your mission is to master "behavioral psychology and interaction with the opposite sex" Don't make it a means to an end, aka another way to slay pussy but as an academic pursuit.

Look to Jordan Peterson as a role model.

[–]hb8only 1 point2 points  (1 child)

what exactly is there to MASTER?

have money

be dominant and a little bad on them

they will suck you dry..

you can now continue to focus on more important subjects...

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's a difference between pragmatic and practical approach versus an academic approach.

[–]dcapt46 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He is saying - do stuff. Camp, Hike, Hunt, Carve, Forge, Invent, build with wood do something physical, create.

[–]jackandjill22 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So, ambiguous. Feel sorry for anyone you legitimately starts from this advice.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (17 children)

I recommend reading

So good they can’t ignore you by Cal NewPort

It will save you a lot of time and really dispel this notion of finding a passion per-se and he presents his solution as a meaningful alternative.

Focus on skills that you want to be amazing at , the passion will come later as you get good. That’s the Crux of the book but I really recommend reading it to get his tips and practical advice and reasoning why his argument makes more sense.

[–]smirk_addict 5 points6 points  (16 children)

I agree with this. At my old job I wanted to learn more about how my 401k works and how to make it more aggressive. From there I started reading about investing and stock market metrics. Now my goal is to eventually work in that type of sector. I have a Bachelors in Arts. I have no background beyond my general interest. I've been taking free online courses, reading, watching videos..some times i'm burnt out for days at a time. But the more I learn, the more I want to learn and the more confidence and passion I have about learning.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly dude, you got this.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (14 children)

I work in that sector... sorry to burst your bubble but it sucks. It's all salesmen pretending to know what the market is gonna do. You can study the market for 8hrs a day or no hours a day... it's all the same and it's unpredictable. Still a Lot of money can be made convincing people you do know what your talking about even though you don't. Read "fooled by randomness" and go from there if you don't believe me.

[–]smirk_addict 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I know who not to ask for a job...

[–]UncleWarwick -1 points0 points  (12 children)


You’re just bad at what you do buddy, sorry.

Source: made very significant returns in my account this past week by playing what the market gave me.

[–]PM_Your_8008s 2 points3 points  (11 children)

Ya last week. Let's see you do it every week for a year. Hell even for a month.

[–]AlfredKinsey 1 point2 points  (9 children)

This is silly. ~40% per annum average return since I was 10 years old. I learned to invest and began practicing when I was seven. Not a professional, I just work hard and think/research harder when making decisions about my money.

Do you honestly think you can't make wiser investment decisions? What about investing in a Jimmy John's vs. a children's bounce house, or Amazon vs. Sears? FWIW, I don't see "working in the sector" as having authority on investment. 85% of the finance guys I know sell pre-arranged packages to old people. But, I still wrote down your book suggestion ;)

[–]PM_Your_8008s 3 points4 points  (1 child)

You get returns of 40% per year and yet don't have the attention to detail to realize I'm not the person who suggested the book. Sure buddy, we all believe you.

[–]thr0wed_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

on point

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

Dude general advice is diversify. Even with something as straightforward as "invest in amazon as opposed to sears" is not 100%. No one knew that sears wouldn't come out with some amazing online trading platform and be the next big thing. The general diversify and buy and hold advice is all you need. Basic index funds/mutual funds = good thing. Selecting specific stocks, playing options, penny stocks, managed accounts, the million other ways people try to sell you an investment strategy is a racket (unless you have inside info). Even your BS about making 40% a year is just hot hand fallacy (meaning your lying, it'll turn around or you got lucky... your not predicting anything or especially skilled) There's guys paid Billions with a B over their careers who try and manage hedge funds that guarantee 8% a year (just slightly above S&p) and still fail to do that. I could go on but in my experience you can never talk guys out of this way of thinking (and that's the reason this is such a HUGE business). Just offering some conceptual ideas for you to mull over.

[–]AlfredKinsey 1 point2 points  (5 children)

I have no need to lie or deceive people, since I'm not interested in making a profession out of this. I was homeschooled and very into math around the time I got into investing. Mostly my Grandfather, a self-made real estate and banking millionaire who grew up poor during the Great Depression, taught me a ton and had me speak with his financial advisor (he also taught me algebra and calculus). When I learned to program and work with stats a couple years later, my passion really took off, but I didn't have much cashflow as a 12 year old in public school. It was actually easier to earn money as a homeschooled elementary student.

A great deal of the returns were from Internet and computer companies purchased and then rebought in 2000A.D. and a very great deal was from early adoption of cryptocurrencies (BTC in 2011 and ETH in 2015.) I also got lucky and spent most of my high school earnings from no less than three part time jobs on the stock market (AAPL, MSFT, ATVI, AMZN, IXN) when I first entered college in the fall of 2008.

I'm not saying not to diversify, that would be silly and unwise. I have holdings in precious metals, real estate, corporate-managed 401K, bank savings accounts, CDs, bonds, business loans/partnerships, personally-managed equities (including ETFs and the like.)

I'm also not diminishing the risk in involved with investment (and have lost plenty and made bad decisions, too). I am, however, challenging your statement that there is no difference between deliberate investment choices and blindly selecting investments at random.

I have plenty of friends and family, too, that have improved their net worth a great deal through investment. I mean, what alternative would you recommend to people in order to grow their wealth?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I appreciate your response and you sound pretty well educated on the matter. What you said sounds like a good diversification of investment ideas and getting in at the right time on some new technologies ( which could easily have plummeted) . I gotta say I stand by my point. You spend a year scouting stocks on the New York stock exchange and doing research and what have you and buy a million dollars of that stock. I pick a stock at random on the New York stock exchange and buy a million dollars worth. After a few years or if you run this experiment enough times we'll be about even with each other (which is to say slightly ahead because the market trends upwards). The reason being we can't predict the future any better than each other. The stock prices are already priced with a 100 analyst opinions taken into account on the fundamentals of these companies. Whichever one of us ends up ahead of the other got lucky. While you were scouting stocks and looking at charts, there are a million people who've already done that work for us and that's reflected in what the stock price is at when we buy in.

Edit: the explanation is a bit more complicated than that but this Reddit. Say you picked some blue chip ultra safe stock and I pick a risky investment on the exchange then your gonna win 95% of the time with slow /steady growth but when that risky stock takes off that 5% of the time it could go through the roof and make up all those gains missed out on. In a random environment with to many unknown variables (such as the stock market) this can happen and does.

[–]AlfredKinsey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a much more judicious explanation that I can get down with. I will definitely be checking out these ideas out.

I definitely tend towards what I consider conservative-but-bullish investment, i.e. buy and hold (but sometimes bail) and mostly the "blue-chip" stocks. This saves me time and stress. I also follow the 100-your age rule of risky investments, so "only" about 70-80% of my money is floating on the stock market and cryptocurrencies, which I think have far more upside than most people appreciate.I guess I rely heavily on fundamental analysis, tough I respect and study the technical perspective.

Examples: I like to look around me and index the number of branded objects in my vicinity. I bought Nike after counting up my classmates shoe logos over several weeks in different classrooms. They commanded over 55% of the footware that my peers were AND i consider their shoes to be expensive and their brand to be highly developed. The same choice came with Apple.

With Wal-Mart, well...they took over a lot of the land and business where I grew up, so that was noticeable. Then, my freshman year, i had friends that were going there, like, daily, sometimes just to hang out like you would at a mall. Of course, many of those loafers are actually going to buy shit just by virtue of being in the store. I am very curious to see how Amazon's brick-and-mortar moves work out in the coming years.

My best friend owned the first iPhone in my high school. Our newspaper even wrote an article about, haha! When I saw how many TEENAGERS and then THEIR PARENTS were swooping up an iPhone and buying a $2,000 laptop on credit to go with it, it seemed obvious and I acted as soon as this tidal waves came.

The decision on Amazon was actually from visits to the college mail room, where the floor would be litered with their logo on cardboard boxed. These trend only continued. Not perfectly predictable? Sure, definitely, but there seems to be some kind of power to that level of popularity. When they released AWS, I was working as a programmer and everyone started using it, so it was duh to re-up.

Another thing I really like to do is ask, like, first graders what products they use and really think will shape the future. They have this wonderful combination of being very dumb and very tuned in, so they aren't over analyzing their conversations about the markets. Many parents also seem to feel obligated to buy their kids whatever crap they want, so hello moneyflow. I personally believe that if you interview or listen to enough seven year olds, it will help you detect some economic trends.

Just my 2 cents. Good discourse!

[–]thr0wed_ 1 point2 points  (2 children)

you must be fun at parties

[–]AlfredKinsey 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I do like dancing, drugs, good conversation, and sex. That's the party stuff, right?

[–]UncleWarwick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like a plan

[–]jb_trp 8 points9 points  (7 children)

Realize that life is short and some day you're going to die and it will all be over. What's one big thing you want to do before you die? Write a book? Climb K2? Build a business?

Only you can decide.

[–]baarinh 2 points3 points  (6 children)

I always wonder - is raising family as a mission compatible with trp, or family is just a "side dish", like women?

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. My mission is "to build intimate relationships with family and friends."

I ask myself in everything I do, does this accomplish my mission?

Taking the hard job for the extra payout? Yes, I can take my family to Europe for a learning experience.

Buying the latest luxury car? No, Ill have to give up flying to Alaska with my brother.

I value experiences with the people in my life and I've built my life to work towards that. My kids have had great experiences, they're great students, my wife and I have gone all over the world and I have no debt other than a mortgage and will still retire with a great income and kids college paid. My wife supports that mission and the second she stops she will be fired. Same with my kids, once they are legal adults they will need to add value.

That's how you have a mission and a family.

[–]hb8only 1 point2 points  (3 children)

trp is not anti family, don't listen to non redpill subs about it.. we are very pro family oriented...

[–]AlfredKinsey 0 points1 point  (1 child)

In my eyes, TRP is about shaping and choosing the right kind of family, being a leader in the family, rather than just taking what comes and accepting it.

[–]hb8only 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yep.. must be a leader.. if you are a man, there is no way around...

[–]Bruchibre 0 points1 point  (0 children)

there's lots of "never marry" and "never have kids" on AskTRP...

Few days ago someone said I had a strong oneitis... on my gf of 4 years who I live with.

Maybe the young redpillers who have to much zeal and ask "is it RP to do this, is it BP to do that?"

[–]AlfredKinsey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it would be a real mistake to treat your family as a "side dish." But I see your point. I don't think that you're going to be a great father without having a different mission for yourself as an individual. How will you make good money? How will you unwind and find your own peace? How will you give your life a meaning that is self-contained?

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


[–]boredgod[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–][deleted]  (1 child)


[–]hb8only 0 points1 point  (0 children)

waw.. so doing something I love and I'm good at - I will feel empty based on that chart...

[–]Joehogans 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's a solid point. Keep an air of mystery about you. Let them conjure up any sort of fantasy they want. Don't ruin it for them, but more importantly don't ruin it for yourself. The less you say the more they can build elaborate fantasies about you in their minds.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

You know that thing you've always done and some people are really good at it and get paid for it? Do that. And do it better then them.

[–]arrayay 1 point2 points  (1 child)

No, what thing is that specifically?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your mom haha . no some hobbie you have/had.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just don’t know how to find a mission worth pursuing

What do you BELIEVE in? What difference do you want to make? What do you want to achieve?

[–]BurnoutRS 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ask yourself what the fuck you wanna do. I phrase it like thar because it gets me amped. I wake up everymorning and its written on a piece of.paper on my wall. "what the fuck do you wanna do and who the fuck do you wanna be?"

I love spending time in nature, I like growing things, building things, im very creative and have a mind for business. I like having an open schedule and dream of having the financial security to just fuck off whenever I feel like fucking off. One of my biggest dreams is to be successful in the music industry. Even if its just some album sales on itunes. Im setting up a lot of passive projects on my parents land. Beehives, gourmet mushroom beds, organic compost beds etc. Theres a lot of people in my area that are interested in buying farm products and good soil. All I Have to do is maintain and package shit and my parents sell it to whoever comes knocking if im not there. Sure as hell gives my mom something to do.

Once im free to publicly release content on social media platforms again im gonna get some equipment and film my everyday goings on. Get used to being on camera, spend a bit of time editing it down and post shit to youtube and other platforms. Cant count on anything taking off but its not a big deal to film myself while im just running through my regular schedule.

Im either going to start some kind of business, or im going to go back to school to become some sort of doctor. Ive had a lot of dealings with doctors these past 2 years. The common theme is that they come in to work at 11 and leave around 3. Drive higher end cars, generally look like theyre pretty well off and have a fuckload of free time. Get a degree in chiropractics and open a physio clinic. You get the facilities set up to do 3-4 patients at a time and you're pulling in something like 125 bucks per patient per hour. Thats 500 an hour and thats on the low end when you consider some of these people only do 30 minute sessiins with a heat treatment, laser therapy and ect. All shit you just pay a technician to do. They set the patient up, turn the tv on and come back every 20 minutes to make sure people are ok.

Get creative man. Theres all kinds of ways to have the life you want. Do I kniw if any of the shit I just said will pan out for me? Fuck no. But its fun as hell to try

[–]AlfredKinsey 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This, I think, is easier than we make it out to be. You can probably figure out a passion of yours intuitively. Spend some of your time on whatever that is. If it is not something that is obviously profitable, make the passion an avocation and take up a well-paying job that will support you. I promise this will take up plenty of your time.

I've also found that my male friendships give me a greater sense of meaning than most things. We get to talk about shit we like, support one another, etc.

Also, I'm just going to throw out the Self-Authoring program by Dr. Jordan B Peterson. It is a pretty awesome exercise specifically for working out these kinds of issues.

[–]boredgod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good stuff all around. Thanks

[–]3nebder 3 points4 points  (1 child)


Go to blackdragons blog and buy his book unchained male. Has a great section on determining your code of conduct and mission. The book is $9.

[–]PreOrgasmGroanLness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this, op

[–]JustSatan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fuck bitchez

[–]Crypto_Chad69 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Women get mad at me when I don’t sexualize interactions in order to fuck them. The less I say about myself, the more they “love” me. When I open my mouth and talk about something I care about, they become disinterested, until I fix that mistake.

Maybe you're just unbelievably boring.

[–]boredgod[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Valid point. I’ll work on that.

[–]ValorElite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one here will give you your mission. You swallowed TRP mantra hook, line, sinker, thinking that it would give you purpose and happiness. Newsflash: Fucking whores doesn't give you any sense of purpose or happiness.

It's up to man to find his meaning and love for the world. Without that love, you drift away becoming another dead man walking. How many people do you see walking around with no sense of purpose or happiness? Nearly everyone.

Don't knit like the top post says; just get out and become the best at everything. Get the best grades in college, the best group of guys, the best jobs etc. Climb the fucking mountain.