I walked out on sex on tuesday last week, and my thoughts are divided about it. What do you guys think? (self.asktrp)

submitted by _smosbol_

I met this girl in the city when I was hanging around with my friends. She was slender, dark haired and pretty hot looking all around. She struck me as very intriguing, which is already a dangerous thing and a potential red flag, at least for a LTR. She also drank a load of wine and smoked more cigarettes than me in my heyday. But I was in a good mood and I had fun, I was in a very alpha mode that evening so she gave me her number.

We texted a bit and I kept it superficial and short, no lenghty conversations. This made her even more interested probably and she asked me to hang out, go for a drink, I could pick her up at her place.

We went for drinks, and after one cocktail I told her that this place sucked and the music blew so we should leave. She immediately agreed and we went to her place. During that whole time she was constantly and subtly searching for my approval, and therefore I knew I was in the zone.

We arrived at her place, and she immediately started smoking again, pouring herself a glass of wine and she invited me to go upstairs. She was sitting on her bed while I was sitting in some kind of rocking chair, we were talking some more and now it comes.

There was a painting in her room she was working on. I was very interested by it because I like women who are into arts and crafts, and I asked her what she was painting, because it didn't yet resemble anything.

She proceeded to tell me that it was a painting she was making about her and her ex-boyfriend she was with for 2 years she broke up with 4 months before. I had a serious wtf moment, but I stayed cool because I still would've liked pounding her that evening.

She then started talking about sex, how it was easy for her to have sex without emotions, which made me realize she was riding the CC vigorously. By that moment I wasn't really into it anymore, so I got up and told her I had to leave because I had to work in the morning.

We both got up, I wanted to kiss her on the cheeck, which is a common, friendly way to say goodbye here, and she started kissing me passionately all of a suddenly, like no girl has ever kissed me before. She took my shirt off fairly quickly and started grabbing my junk and going for it. She took off her blouse and I noticed she didn't wear a bra and underpants.

She whispered in my ear if I liked to make love with her, and I honestly did, she also felt it probably because I had an outragerous boner by that time. She also told me suddenly that she had a contraceptive coil so we didn't need a condom.

That's when I seriously broke it off. The only girls I knew who had these coils were immense sluts, and I suddenly realized she was also one of those. The risk was just too big after all that shit she told me, and there was most definitely a load of baggage, so I decided to abort.

I told her I had to go, she told me that she hoped to see me again soon and she kissed me again vigorously. I drove away with my balls hurting like hell.

A couple of days later she texted me she wasn't sure she was the right girl for me anyway, and that she spark just wasn't there. I don't know if she honestly thinks like this, but more because I turned down her sex.

Now a week later, I have a divided feeling between pride and frustration. I could've had sex, probably great sex, multiple times with this girl, she was steaming and willing, and it was a long time ago for me. I also feel proud, in some kind of way, that I ended that situation, because of all the red flags she confronted me with.

Your thoughts?

[–]1RedPillJax 50 points51 points  (3 children)

Eh, I'm a pig - but I would've wrapped it up and still gone for it. If then she'd turned around and tried to convince me not to use one, then I'd be right out the door.

Sometimes sportfuckin' it just sportfuckin', man. But hey, props to you for walking out of a situation you didn't feel comfortable with. You've got nothing to prove to anyone but yourself.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Yeah..all OP's drivel about red flags is fucking retarded. A hot chick want your dick, so fucking fuck her.

How the fuck do you make some as straightforward as a hammer and nail situation so bloody complicated.

[–]_smosbol_[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

She reminded me of my crazy ex who brought me to this subreddit after we broke up about 2 years ago now. She had the same characteristics which put me off immensly, even though she was hot. The ex who wasn't entirely out of the picture at the start, the crazy sex from the start, the idealizing and putting me on a pedestal and telling me how I'm so different and special and smart.. My ex was a borderline nutcase, and she had some obvious traits of that too.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

not sticking your dick in crazy is always a smart move.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


[–]Hunter2isit 10 points11 points  (7 children)

  1. Carry a condom (I keep mine in the car so they don't get ruined in a pocket)

  2. Nothing wrong with fucking a slut, dirty sex is a personal favorite of mine

  3. STOP LOOKING FOR AN LTR Let the LTR happen, don't search for one.

To your conflicted feelings, it sounds like you have had some impulse control so you needed a victory over that, not boning this slut was that victory for you. Problem is you are conflicted because sex is sex, great sex is great sex and you said 'no' to one if not both.

Fact is there is no way of knowing if this girl was awesome in the sack. None. The girl I am with now has me convinced I am her 4th yet we have done all sorts of fun things I know she has never done before. My cunt ex boned at least 13 guys in a very short time frame, 1 long ltr then CC then me now she is lez. SHE WAS SHIT IN THE SACK. Fuck-all terrible.

So verdict? Abundance. ABUNDANCE. ABUNDANCE. There will be another, be prepared, if you aren't feeling it then bug out and don't second guess yourself.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (6 children)

WHAT! In the car?

Dude, do you know how hot it gets in your car?

That condom is cooked in temps up to 140 degrees in summer.

Do not keep condoms in the car.

You put them in your wallet. Duh!

(j/k. Don't put them in your wallet either)

[–]DamienKennedy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I carry a backpack daily so that's where I keep mine.

[–]fortifiedoranges 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Where do you keep them or do you just go without?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I keep them in my night stand.

If I'm going out and I think sex might happen then I'll put them in my left back pocket.

[–]Hunter2isit -4 points-3 points  (2 children)

dude crack you sun roof, thats what its there for

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

[–]Hunter2isit -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't get it

[–]1HS-Thompson 5 points6 points  (8 children)

I don't understand what the hell the problem was. The fact that she's fucked guys before and is on birth control disqualifies a woman from being fuckable?

Good luck with that plan. If she wasn't hot enough to fuck you shouldn't have been in her apartment. If she was what was the actual problem? You sound a little confused or insecure IMHO.

[–][deleted]  (7 children)


    [–]1HS-Thompson -2 points-1 points  (6 children)

    So your life pro tip is that you should listen to what a girl says about her sexual history and believe it?

    You should assume every girl that will fuck on the first date has done that, if anything she gets an honesty point for not being evasive about it.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    yeah but most girls dont insist on raw dogging them hours before meeting them.

    That combined with smoking and her fucked up art probably skeeved op out. Get skeeved out run. No need to bang loose women just because you can.

    [–]1HS-Thompson 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    No need to bang loose women just because you can.

    I absolutely agree with this point. But the OP sounded oddly proud of his actions and also erratic and insecure. My interpretation is that he just choked.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    bit of performance anxiety I am sure. We all feel it when we go from chasing to being chased, its a bit off if youre not up for it. From what he says of the girl though I would have passed as well.

    [–]_smosbol_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yeah, it was odd the way she wanted it. There's just wanting it like a normal girl wants it, but the way she wanted it, jeesh. I was turned on and freaked out at the same time, and the latter feeling took over eventually. I'd lie if I would say that I didn't regret sex with her until days later just because I'm horny, which isn't the best state of mind for rational decisions anyway. But what would I have gotten out of that instead of an orgasm and maybe an STD.

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)


      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      "dont fuck crazy" -Ghandi

      [–]1TopTRP 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      It's a good thing.

      Most men, including a lot that post here, derive their self worth from the quantity of women they can get to sleep with them.

      In other words, their life is ruled by pussy. You are beyond this.

      I also feel proud

      You should. It's not an easy decision to make.

      Willingly turning down sex shows abundance mentality and an understanding of self worth.

      [–]machimus 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      You went with your instincts and erred on the safe side, nothing wrong with that. It might have been fine, but you also may have dodged a huge bullet. Either way you're in just as good a position as when you started.

      [–]justbrowsingkthanks 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      "A couple of days later she texted me she wasn't sure she was the right girl for me anyway"


      "you didn't dump me. i dumped you."

      [–]11NV0K3R 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      and I noticed she didn't wear a bra

      ....you noticed when she took off her shirt?

      Hahaha hahahaha I don't think so.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)


      [–]_smosbol_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yeah, I had a feeling she not only chose me, but I also had a feeling she was idealizing me and putting me on a pedestal very quickly, and it reminded of my ex girlfriend who was a borderline psycho, she did exactly the same from the start.

      [–]-rubashov 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      I've been telling men that they need to choose the woman. If she chooses you - be warned. Women go after men for a variety reasons and zero of them are "love."

      Upvoted for this line.

      [–]chadthundersock 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      She smokes? Automatically drops +2 points on SMV scale.

      Its just pussy. Trust ur gut..yes shes a slut...but u know what...theres only like eleventy billion other vaginas out there...why get caught up with one who smokes and is a slut?


      [–]Glennus626 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      A couple of days later she texted me she wasn't sure she was the right girl for me anyway, and that she spark just wasn't there. I don't know if she honestly thinks like this, but more because I turned down her sex.

      That was her way of explaining off why you wouldn't fuck her. There are so many factors that make up a man's value to the world and even self-worth. With women, it really has very few dimensions, one of which is her sexuality. If she throws it at you, she has very low self-worth. You hardly even had to work for it.

      you dodged a major bullet. More like a magazine of bullets.

      [–]_smosbol_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yeah. I didn't have to do anything, and before I knew she was all over me like a nympho. That kind of behavior really makes me question her mental sanity.

      [–]fijianpalm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Look at the other side of this equation. Eazy E died of aids, you wont.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      OP you might take some shit here, but I think its more than fine to walk away from a fuck. If she looked to be making poor life decisions like chain smoking and unprotected sex with strangers, she is likely carrying some god awful std or whatever other baggage YOU deemed as disqualifying.

      Yes she is going to talk shit. Call you names, whatever.

      But remember YOU are the prize, and if her pussy was deemed unsuitable for you there is no obligation to fuck her.

      Anyone making fun of you for that point is forgetting what it is about here. Pussy isnt the end goal. It is self satisfaction, and if you didnt feel like it fuck it. You dont owe her or anyone any explanations. You probably just avoided a case of herpies.

      [–]awalt_cupcake 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      She proceeded to tell me that it was a painting she was making about her and her ex-boyfriend she was with for 2 years she broke up with 4 months before.

      Chad lingers in her thoughts. She wanted to forget about him. You were her distraction. Smoking was another sign that she's stressed and looking for a distraction.

      A couple of days later she texted me she wasn't sure she was the right girl for me anyway, and that she spark just wasn't there.

      It's never a woman's fault and she's trying to pin this one on her? This is some manipulation right here to get you to validate her since sex didn't.

      She also told me suddenly that she had a contraceptive coil so we didn't need a condom.

      She's prepared for any male attention.

      You walked away from the town's cum dumpster. You probably dodged a bullet if she was trying to reel you in like this. Women never do anything without some immediate goal in mind.

      [–]_smosbol_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yeah. She told me that her former boyfriend threw her out of the house after a relationship of two years. She also told me that they didn't do much more apart from smoking weed all day in the couch. Yet apparently, she's still infatuated with the guy, probably because he had a house and really didn't give a fuck and dumped her.

      Yeah I didn't know what she was trying to do with that. I responded pretty soft on it, but I was still clear and told her it was ok. She'll probably start texting me again when she notices I'm ignoring her, which would be typical.

      And she basically implied numerous times that she in fact was a slut. Also by telling me about her mom, who is a single mom and talks to her about her one night stands with firemen at work, I immediately knew what was up with this girl. An unstable mother is also a huge risk factor.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I would have bailed when she started smoking.

      Maybe the painting wasn't a big deal because people need something to motivate them.

      Maybe the sex thing wasn't a big deal because you were only intending to be the next in line.

      Telling you that you don't need a condom is a huge deal. You barely know her and for all you know she's trying to get you in some jackpot. And if she's fucking all these dudes then what kind of creepy crawlies does she got running around up in there?

      You were right to bail and I think you've got real stones for doing so.

      That whole bit she wrote about you not being right for her is just her trying to rationalize you not wanting her. It could even have been some reverse psychology.

      You're better off.

      [–]SexistFlyingPig 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Sounds like you did the right thing.

      100% the right thing.

      This woman is crazy. Don't ever (EVER!) stick your dick in crazy.

      [–]Apanthropos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Never doubt your decesions. She is still attached to her ex. She wanted to fuck you to regain her self-esteem. Probably wouldn't last long even if you fucked her.

      Your only mistake is to get hung up about this after 1 week. Find a better new plate.

      [–]McLarenX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Your feelings are your own but in that situation you simply remove emotion/thinking and view it as eating a delicious cheeseburger. It's sloppy and great but not something to dwell on. Just fuck her next time

      [–]SupermanSpankedLois 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Yep, listen to the little voice inside that nags you. Worse case scenario, you missed a fun time. There will be other fun times. Best case scenario, you dodged a bullet and, who knows...it's a small world and she could orbit back into your space. Stranger shit has happened. Talk to some of us old guys who are making contact years later with high school and college connections. You played it smart, from what I can see.

      [–]NotUpToAnythingGood -1 points0 points  (2 children)

      It's perfectly fine to skip out on having sex if something feels off / not quite right.

      Hell, I've turned down sex with my wife before (yeah, yeah, I'm married) simply because I wasn't feeling it. Ended up having a discussion with my wife explaining that while I enjoy having sex a lot, just because I'm a guy, it in no way implies that I always want sex all the time.

      With a first time partner like you described, if something felt 'not right', I'd skip it too. I'd also play it safe until I was certain it was okay. My plate (yes, I have one) and I were playing it safe using condoms until we were certain we were each okay.

      [–]2secret_barber 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I've turned down sex with my wife

      You know this is a fail, right? ...you followed up by explaining yourself. Ugh.

      [–]NotUpToAnythingGood 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      A fail for one person can be a success for another. Not every woman is the same. Remember, we hold to the radical notion that women are people too. As such, individually, they are different from person to person.

      Marriage is significantly harder than spinning plates. Sometimes you have to do things to further the long-term goals at the expense of the current battle. Given that she makes my breakfast every morning, provides sex on demand, and so forth after 20 years, I think I have a good read on how to manage things.

      And for clarification, I probably shouldn't have used the word 'explain'. I was pressed for time since I was making dinner. At the time I said that to her, it was honestly more of a statement which led to considerable confusion for the Mrs. as I was not following her preconceptions.

      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Doesn't matter whether or not you fuck her. Just matters whether or not you have/had the opportunity to if you wanted.

      [–]Gawernator -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Better safe than sorry, dude.

      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      Kudos for walking away. You should feel doubly proud of yourself for not replying as to why you took off, because you believe she's a disease ridden shell of sluttyness. Good for your stoicism, and do not look back despite her trying to bait you.

      [–]thechaosz -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      great advice in these top comments. .. I'm a man whore but to each their own