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My reputation: I'm gay. Why? I'm nice only to men and don't put up with women's crap. Is this normal? (self.asktrp)

submitted by ios-pro77

I don't talk about my girlfriends or anything like that at work, so nobody knows what "my deal is". And I definitely don't put up with women's crap (helping them just because they have a pussy, do their job, cut them slack for being women, etc).

The end result: people start suspecting I'm gay. I'm not, but the rumor's spreading and I can't shake it off.

The other day a new coworker got into the office, and we were having coffee, while the guy was at his desk. The women were gossiping about who he was, whether they knew him or not, etc. Obviously, the first thing I thought was asking the guy if he wanted coffee, and he agreed and came into the room. I didn't prepare him the coffee, just invited him, he made it himself.

To joke, I said to one of the gossipers: "see? Today, I'm nicer than you are!". Another one replied "you are only nice to men... who knows why..."

I replied "maybe you gals don't deserve it!", clearly in a joking tone of voice. However, the gay implication was there.

Is this normal?


[–]battyryder 92 points93 points  (3 children)

If they think you're gay, what's the problem. Avoid the #metoo bullshit like a gay bro.

[–]TitsAndWhiskey 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I second this. It's the workplace. You should be nothing but professional. Let them think you're gay if that's what they want to do. They're just shit testing you, trying to find a chink in your armor, some kind of leverage.

There's no need for A&A or any other gaming technique here. Be professional. To everyone.

[–]bookloverphile 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Being gay in today’s society is probably the best thing possible lol

[–]Kalepsis 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This, all day long. Who cares if co-workers think you're gay? You shouldn't be hooking up with anyone at work anyway.

[–]TheTrenTrannyTrain 27 points28 points  (0 children)

You're now a protected species at your work place.

[–]Toxik6 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Agree and amplify. Probably shouldn’t have validated anything by saying that you said. Shows you care what they think. Which you shouldn’t.

[–]BusterVadge 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Your style and/or body language is too feminine is the more likely explanation. People don't pay too much attention to words, they pick up on more subtle undertones.

[–]mugenowns 13 points14 points  (8 children)

Well you should be treating everony equally. It's a bit suspect if you'll go out of your way to help men, but not women. I mean what do you gain from helping them? Are they your friends?

I will say that yes, it's normal. Keep in mind we live in a time when men are so thirsty and cucked that there are men who will pay for a woman to play video games just because she has boobs. Think of all the crap some men put up with just for the potential to have sex. So to most people a guy who isn't like that around women must not care if he gets laid or not. And only one reason for that...

[–]bookloverphile 2 points3 points  (5 children)

Wait...someone pays a girl to play video games bc she has tits? Lololol

[–]eaazzy_13 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All the time! Have you never heard of twitch streamers? There’s hundreds of thousands of women that play video games for regular “donations” from thirsty dudes.

[–]eaazzy_13 1 point2 points  (3 children)

All the time! Have you never heard of twitch streamers? There’s hundreds of thousands of women that play video games for regular “donations” from thirsty dudes.

[–]bookloverphile 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Definition of thirst

[–]eaazzy_13 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It’s fuckin sad man, hurts my soul for those lost nerds.

[–]bookloverphile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are lone gone. Worry about the ones we can save.

[–]endertheend -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Well you should be treating everony equally. It's a bit suspect if you'll go out of your way to help men, but not women. I mean what do you gain from helping them? Are they your friends?

Have you been living under a rock these past few years.

There is NO upside to "Treating everyone equally" at work, In fact, smart men AVOID women COMPLETELY at work.

Why? Just one word, one sentence at work could ruin a guy's livelihood.

Either you're trolling or you need to sidebar more. Get this stupid shit out of here.

September 2018, at this point there's no reason to be this stupid, this unaware of what's going on, unless you were held captive in some underground bunker in North Korea since 1989 or something.

[–]mugenowns 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe at your job there's nothing to gain from helping your coworkers, but where I work it helps the business. Whether I'm helping a man or a woman I'm not going to only help certain coworkers and not others. People's mistakes affect our bottom line, and if I can help,then I will

[–]Tousen71 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ignore it’s a recoil response to your lack of interest in them.

And take a hard look at your behavior and energy. Most women will call you lame or a loser if you seem antisocial or stand offish with them. The gay thing is probably a result of your behavior with them, ESPECIALLY if you’re good looking.

If they’re calling you gay its because you’re either acting feminine OR they were once into you and recognized you were antisocial and acting feminine and in response to feeling rejected chose to recontextualize your lack of interest into you being gay.

[–]chrishagins 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Obviously, the first thing I thought was asking the guy if he wanted coffee, and he agreed and came into the room. I didn't prepare him the coffee, just invited him, he made it himself.

To joke, I said to one of the gossipers: "see? Today, I'm nicer than you are!". Another one replied "you are only nice to men... who knows why..."

I replied "maybe you gals don't deserve it!", clearly in a joking tone of voice.

You ask male coworkers to join you for coffee, you gossip with female coworkers and even make make catty comments toward them. I can't imagine why they think you're gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).

[–]endertheend 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed here. OP shouldn't have even made a response. Actually, on second thought put the coffee down, OP. Coffee is for closers.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 9 points10 points  (4 children)

The end result: people start suspecting I'm gay. I'm not, but the rumor's spreading and I can't shake it off

If you care (and you do), you need a two pronged attack. I recommend playing up to the gay thing (wrist flop, lisp, that weird exaggerated way of talking). AND do things to imply you're straight (girl sends you a sexy pic you say "wow" and show someone else.... or have a girl call you at work.... or talk about the woman you were with last night.) Keep this all occasional and low key, you don''t want people thinking you're doing it to look straight. Playing up to the gay thing will throw them off the scent.

Is this normal?

No.... but they do it because they think it gets to you.

[–]Lego_My_Alter_Eggo 2 points3 points  (3 children)

And then an actual gay coworker complains to HR that you are making fun of gay people and they feel discriminated against.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (2 children)

No problem at all, simply inform them that you're gay too and now considering gender reassignment surgery and demand the world be more understanding during your transformation.

Transgender trumps gay in the victimocracy.

[–]endertheend 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I laughed at this but then I realized. . .you're right. damn.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's funny because it's true.

[–]1KirthWGersen 10 points11 points  (3 children)

Consider making a sexual harassment complaint to HR.

[–]returnofthemackX 18 points19 points  (2 children)

‘Chad made a sexual harrassment complaint to HR, because a few women implied he was gay’

Lol

[–]endertheend 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I agree, not the best piece of advice. Instead I'd just consider seeing what skill you've gained at your job and making a business out of it. Make your own money, It takes time but you can do it, also in the meantime I'd probably fix up a new resume and look for other work, just put out a few resumes every few weeks to jobs that seem better than yours, see what bites.

[–]returnofthemackX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or just dont care what they think

[–]yesbuthereswhy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This same thing happened at my work when I was 19 but I was a massive beta. I had zero clue that I gave off the soy boy vibe. Maybe you should do an honest evaluation of yourself.

[–]officerkondo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The other day a new coworker got into the office, and we were having coffee, while the guy was at his desk. The women were gossiping about who he was

Do you think maybe a reason the women think you are gay is that you gossip in their coffee klatch as one of the girls?

[–]KumonRoguing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a reputation as being gay for most of middle school/high school. Never really impeded me in any way. Just ignore them and let women know you're sexual into them.

[–]dtyler86 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Who thinks you’re gay? The women you’re not feeding the egos of? My guy friends tend to view me as more of an alpha then I would even consider myself while the girls that I have rejected in my life don’t get to see so much of who I really am because I’m just not interested in giving them any of my time so their first instinct is just to accuse me of being gay. Is this what you’re saying?

Do you know girls that get cat called by guys on the street and when they don’t reply the guys say something like “you’re ugly anyway!”? Same shit.

[–]Peter_B_Long 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I replied "maybe you gals don't deserve it!"

It seems like you're trying too hard. Maybe you're in the anger phase or you're just bitter about women. If other people are noticing that you're being biased towards woman, you're going to be seen as a misogynist or a homosexual. You do not want people to think that you are in a woman haters club. That could get you in trouble with HR.

When a woman notices you giving someone more attention than you give them, they're going to rationalize it in their head so that they don't take it personal.

> If you're giving another woman attention, they're going to think you like her.

> If you're only giving guys attention, they're going to think you're gay.

> If you're giving your boss attention, they're going to think that you're a kiss ass.

Just avoid them in the work place, act completely professional and reasonably friendly. Don't make your work life more unbearable than it is!

[–]spndxwra 3 points4 points  (0 children)

shittest, over.

[–]Mescalean 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agree and amplify. Being gay these days is a badge of honor for corporations especially if they are hard workers and not the stereotypical queen. Play it to your advantage dude. Go to HR about sexual harassment. You know them harassing you for being gay and all. Shouldn’t discuss sexuality in a professional environment man or woman. They bitch all the time about men they need to be reminded.

[–]2comment 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're now a protected class at your work. Congratulations.

[–]NotMeUsee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This makes you a "victim" to the terrible hoard. Roll with it.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of the upsides of of having gone to an all guy high school is you become impervious to caring if someone thinks you're gay. The A&A is ingrained.

Besides, this is at work where you should not be getting involved with any of the women so who cares if they think you're gay. It will probably protect you from baseless claims. You got a sweet deal going.

[–]HIJKelemenoP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

MGTOW.