39
40

Unmatched her on tinder - "how rude". (self.asktrp)

submitted by Waysoftheunderground

Just thought I'd describe the events for the last girl I hooked up with, I'm sure many of you will share similar experiences (especially at College like me where AWALT).

Went on a date with this girl I matched on tinder.

As soon as she walked in I knew this was a girl on the CC.

Throughout the dates there were subtle shit tests and her testing my frame. We were teasing, there was energy and we quickly stopped off at hers where her lesbian friend saw me and text her "you've got to sleep with him tonight". Definitely a compliment coming from a dick-hater.

After I fucked her at mine I got the "Will I ever see you again?" "How many girls have you slept with?" "You're definitely going to pump and dump me". I instantly caught on that she wasn't asking me what I wanted, she was telling herself it to fulfil her fantasy.

She went back to hers and she text me first, I replied and went to bed. I was busy for the next day and we text a couple of times but not as much as predate. I made a big mistake texting "Hopefully I'll see you again" which dried her up like a desert. She replied "yeah may be". I waited a bit and said "Revs (a bar) Tuesday 9" which she text back saying "I'll let you know".

"I'll let you know" may as well be translated to I'll review my options with other guys. You may say I was quick to write it off but my philosophy is 'If Harry Styles asked her out, she wouldn't say "I'll let you know"'. I'm not angry at this girl, in fact it was good experience that the date went as smoothly as it did, she ended up naked in my bed and it was hardly a big surprise I'd never see her again because it was so obvious she was out just for the cock and fun. I didn't reply to her last message, what's the point?

I've always been prone to oneitis so my protocol now is whenever it doesn't work out with a girl I dated (1 or 5 dates) I put down immediate radio-silence, delete her number and any connection on social media. If it hasn't worked out, it hasn't worked out and time is my currency and I'm not spending time looking at her life online.

I woke up this morning to a text saying "You unmatched me on tinder, how very rude". I chuckled. It was rude that she said "I'll let you know" instead of "I enjoyed seeing you but I'm not that interested". It also raises the question why was she looking at my tinder profile again... I'll never know. One thing is I'm glad she replied saying that, because she'll never get an answer from me and that'll drive her crazy.

On to the next girl at University. I'm going to try and put more effort into my real-life game. Tinder is good but it really is only hook-ups and I'd have more chance finding a girl who isn't on tinder, on a night out, where I'd have a greater chance of getting some girls who I regularly hook up with, not just the one-timers.


[–]plenkton 19 points20 points  (1 child)

"How rude." translates to "You got yours (sex), but you will not orbit her (unmatched on Tinder), and you did not validate her last text.

[–]MeltzerDriver 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He gave her no time/attention, and she gave him sex for free. In this day and age where the female is time-raping a time hoe, and said time hoe isn't getting any sex -- the OP came out of this encounter like gangbusters.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

HA. As soon as I grab the number for texting I unmatch. If she creates a stink, I know she's insecure and delete her number from my phone. Guys can shit-test too.

[–]korben_manzarek 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Pretty insightful writeup.

[–]RojoEscarlata 7 points8 points  (0 children)

“You are definitely going to pump and dump me "

She said while her pussy was wet as the Niagara.

Bitches LOVE be part of a harem.

[–]StarDestinyGuy 3 points4 points  (17 children)

I made a big mistake texting "Hopefully I'll see you again" which dried her up like a desert. She replied "yeah may be". I waited a bit and said "Revs (a bar) Tuesday 9" which she text back saying "I'll let you know".

Why was this a big mistake?

Why did that dry her up?

[–]648262[🍰] 8 points9 points  (9 children)

It changed the power dynamic. She likes to get what she can't have. Now he wants to meet her, and so she no longer wants him.

[–]StarDestinyGuy 0 points1 point  (8 children)

I understand the power dynamic, but if she already wants him, wouldn't she still want him even if he wants to see her again too?

I mean, with plates and LTR, you both know you both want to see each other again.

[–]FrameWalker 5 points6 points  (4 children)

You have to make them earn it. Let them pine wonder and hope. In train wreck they joke about guys calling th em the day after as creepy (many girls are like this)

Until you've gamed them, build enough attraction and comfort, any investment is over investment with today's women, especially younger ones.

[–]ThrowingMyslfOutther 0 points1 point  (1 child)

In train wreck they joke about guys calling th em the day after as creepy

That sounded like 2009 pua shit though. Nowadays I'm fairly certain 24 hrs is normed.

I was all for the how many days routine from Swingers, but that was before smart phones.

[–]FrameWalker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I'm saying is that calling them at all is creepy. Girls out there are jnto ons only

[–]StarDestinyGuy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

So at what point have they "earned it?"

How do you know when you've built enough attraction and comfort?

I have a lot of trouble feigning disinterest when I'm interested in someone.

[–]FrameWalker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use how I feel about them as a gauge. If I'm comfortable and attracted to them is likely mutual. Beyond that trial and error. If I'm sure they're into it on both fronts I have learned not to go too aloof (ignoring texts etc) if it's Shaky aloof is fine

[–]ThrowingMyslfOutther 0 points1 point  (0 children)

but if she already wants him, wouldn't she still want him even if he wants to see her again too?

You're young. No.

If it was easy, if it was predictable, this sub wouldn't exist.

[–]RojoEscarlata -1 points0 points  (1 child)

She doesn't want him, she wants what he can make her feel, this type of women (sluts) just want to indulge their hedonist selves.

So as explained by the others when he put himself on a position of “begging" it made her feel less affected, I know it sounds crazy but that's what happens when your perception of the world based upon your feelings.

[–]ThrowingMyslfOutther 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it sounds crazy but that's what happens when your perception of the world based upon your feelings

Yes, everyone.. Crazy as it sounds... This is what happens when your life is not led by rationality.

[–][deleted]  (6 children)

[deleted]

    [–]StarDestinyGuy -2 points-1 points  (5 children)

    Can't both people want it?

    What's wrong with that?

    Additionally, if your SMV is high, shouldn't she want you whether or not you express wanting her back?

    [–][deleted]  (4 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]StarDestinyGuy -1 points0 points  (3 children)

      Sure, but one has to want it more than the other and if you want to succeed in the SMP it can't be you.

      Well what about once you're in a relationship together?

      See, this is something I have a huge problem with. If I'm interested in someone, I show my interest. If I'm not interested in someone, I don't. I have an incredible amount of difficulty feigning disinterest.

      If a girl was disinterested in me, I would stop pursuing her, because she's not interested. But I suppose the female mind works differently.

      They had sex. This nullifies the disparity in SMV. That's how the female mind works. She's a tinderella playing games.

      How does that nullify the disparity? That makes no sense.

      If a ripped alpha man has sex with a landwhale, surely she knows he's still leagues above her? Or does she really think they're equal because they had sex? In which case, that's mental.

      [–]PoopInMyBottom 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      How does that nullify the disparity? That makes no sense.

      If a ripped alpha man has sex with a landwhale, surely she knows he's still leagues above her? Or does she really think they're equal because they had sex? In which case, that's mental.

      You're right to ask this. It doesn't make sense, and I don't know why people are blindly accepting it. That landwhale is absolutely going to feel he is leagues above her.

      It comes down to what made her think you are alpha.

      If all she has to go on is a single meeting and the only way you conveyed your value was via your level of disinterest, then she's assessing you based on a single dimension. You've built yourself up on a pillar of "being disinterested" and showing any interest will knock that pillar out from under you. If she doesn't have any other reason to think you are alpha, you're going to destroy the image she has of you in her mind.

      "Oh, he isn't interested. Wow, he must be alpha. Oh, now he is interested? All the reasons I had to think he was alpha have disappeared, and I don't have much other evidence he is. I was wrong, he isn't alpha."

      If you're a cool, dominant guy who is relaxed, unflappable and witty, that projects itself. She will pick up on it and showing interest doesn't change any of those traits in her mind. The same is true if you have a six pack. If you are fundamentally a solid guy, she will have other things to go on. Showing interest in that situation is fine.

      If showing interest in a girl (in a non-needy way) kills her attraction, it's a sign her attraction for you was built on surface level actions, rather than who you are on a more fundamental level. Use it as motivation to improve yourself. When you get rejected for showing interest, don't just stop showing interest. Build your fundamentals. If showing interest in a girl makes you lose her, that should be a red flag.

      This isn't always the case, and some girls just want what they can't have, but they are the minority. Either way, you may as well use it as leverage.

      [–]jfastman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      So, what's your question OP?

      [–]ironblacksmith 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      she'll never get an answer from me and that'll drive her crazy.

      I've been in this situation recently and I'm still coming to terms with the fact that this is not a win. Clearly it's the right move, and yeah she'll wonder why you don't validate her, but then 10 seconds later she'll have another date set up with You2.0 and never look back. It's not an easy thing to get my head around because I don't live in these chicks' world of extreme abundance, but I suppose you get used to taking what you got and walking away.

      [–]exotictantra -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      if she doesn't bug you after, then she has gotten over it... reports here suggest that it does bug chicks and it leads them to come back for more D to get validation..

      [–]FemtoG -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      you have the correct perspective on things.

      solipsism is not centric to girls. guys can be solipsistic thinking they are actually inportant or unique to their girls. u seem to accurately gauge where u stand which is good

      [–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (14 children)

      "I'll let you know" may as well be translated to I'll review my options with other guys.

      LOL... No, she was playing "hard to get". She was playing precisely the same game you were playing with her. A bit hypocritical for you to assume that you're the only one smart enough to play it.

      The hottest guy in the world could ask me out, I'm still going to maintain frame and a bit of mystery so it comes off less "eager" or "desperate". I want to create tension, and I want to see what he does from that point to the point where I say "We'll see" -- is he going to be needy? Is he going to blow up my phone? Is he going to go about his life until then? Is he going to act like a baby and flake? Is he going to be demanding? Is he going to play along and help cultivate the same tension with me?

      If my perfect looking HG10 asked me out, I would still say "We'll see". On the inside I might go "HNNNNGOFMGDGLKSDLGKSDKGSDGKSKGSDGDS" and want to desperately say "yes"... but that's not how things work.

      You lost frame the minute you unmatched her out of butthurt.

      [–]sickarus 0 points1 point  (5 children)

      Your description of the other side of the game is valuable, thanks! However I am curious about why you're replying to threads in asktrp as, presumably, a woman.

      [–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (4 children)

      Because I pursue men and use similar tactics.

      [–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

      You pursue attention from men instead of making your previous marriage work. Good luck with that. Focus on your career and taking care of your cats.

      [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

      lol you're so mad

      Also, thanks. Cats are pretty awesome!

      You can add to your crybaby trifecta of butthurt by downvoting everything in my post history, too. Have at it, champ!

      [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

      God.... I can only imagine the shit your ex hubby had to put up with.

      [–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

      You seem to care a lot about my life :)

      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (7 children)

      So your saying he should have texted her and begged her to come out? She might have had a good reason to say she'll let him know... mom coming into town or something but she should have told him or suggested a new time. "I'd like to, but Saturday might be better." If she's not giving any positive feedback to an invitation why would anyone want to chase especially after fucking her? More fish in the sea.

      [–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (6 children)

      Absolutely not -- rather, he should have done nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. He should have kept her matched, and let her message him.

      He unmatched her out of butthurt. If he wasn't, and if he didn't give a shit, he would have gone about his life most likely forgetting until she texts him bitching him out about "standing her up".

      And really, who the hell cares if she's "reviewing options with other guys" -- he's just as free to make options with other women. It's a hook up app, not "future wife" app.

      [–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (5 children)

      Oh yeah? Doing nothing is totally how to get a chick to go on a 2nd date... yeah right. That might work for women, sit back and wait but that's not how men get laid. She was being a bitch and not interested anymore so he did just fine cutting her off.

      [–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (4 children)

      You have no idea what you're talking about.

      She responded "I'll let you know"

      Beyond a reply of "k", he should have gone about his life and made other options instead of hanging tooth and nail for some fairytale "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" response, where she magically drops everyone, deletes her Tinder, and settles down with OP to have his babies and make him paper bag lunches. That's not how life works, and that's not the point of Tinder.

      She makes options, he makes options. Line up another date and a plan for doing something for that same night. If your preferred date comes along, reschedule with your second option. If your first date bails, you have a second option. If both bail, have a night with your friends.

      This shit isn't difficult.

      [–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (3 children)

      I got my gf off tinder. I think k I know how it works. And actually she does being me lunch which is super funny you mention that. But keep being a bitch and have fun being a cat lady in the future.

      [–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (2 children)

      You sound upset

      [–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

      Happy as a clam. Days almost over.

      [–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

      lol your bitchy insults tell another story

      later, tater