Guys this life is so lonely. How do I have fun after swallowing the red pill? Everything seems so bland. (self.asktrp)

submitted by Readleavesbluesguy

Where is the fulfillment really? Is there such a thing?

[–]IVIaskerade 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Find a mission. Scratch that, find your mission. Go travelling, fall back in love with life - real life, life free from illusion and the masquerade. Get fit, eat well, drink and be merry, FOR TOMORROW YOU DI.. Excuse me, I got a little carried away. So yeah, find something you love and go for it.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

deleted What is this?

[–]SexistFlyingPig 4 points5 points  (0 children)

First comes denial.
Then comes negotiation.
Then comes anger.
Then depression. <--- you are here.
Finally acceptance.

[–][deleted]  (5 children)


[–]trpftw 5 points6 points  (4 children)

You know interestingly, I used to have fun with thrills and excitement and doing something new.

But now I have a LOT MORE fun when I learn something new. I just force myself to painfully start reading a nonfiction book and suddenly, I am excited and happy again because I'm learning things about history or the world.

Starting is hard but it might be worth.

Occasionally, I try new things like video games or learning some new chess strategy (which is a type of thing that feels like an infinity of knowledge). I work on my hobbies or focus on getting better at a skill like shooting firearms. Trying to get into krav maga to learn new things.

Honestly, though, the most fun I have is watching a good documentary, building something (I've built firearms), or reading a good book after forcing myself to start.

That "finishing building something" feeling or "finishing learning/accomplishing something" feeling is what I live for.

I find that girls and emotional men don't tend to do these things, they prefer the thrills/excitement/drugs/alcohol/traveling/adventure path... I sometimes wonder how many of them are depressed with life.

A guy I know had anxiety, temper tantrums, and depression up until he got a new less-stressful job and had money to take up sailing hobbies and classes. He became obsessed with sailing. Suddenly, he seemed a lot healthier.

Bear in mind, as you get older, almost everything seems more bland and less fun. I think that's just natural. You have to learn to be content and happy with just having your stomach full and getting a good night sleep. Something as simple as not having a girl stalk you or worrying about some legal court battle, should be more than enough to keep you happy in life.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]trpftw 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I had that empty feeling too especially after this girl stalked me a little. But then I became content after she stopped. But I did started feeling empty and bored. Like I have no purpose.

    But there's just so much to discover out there. The one problem I've been having is... finding the things to discover. But I'll tell you what. They definitely exist.

    Hell, I can't even find good youtube videos, but that's because I haven't thought of the right search terms.

    There's a lot to discover, whether in real life, on the internet, or in books. When I started reading biographies and histories by very famous people, I really brightened up and felt really content with life. It's like a brand new morning day and the sun is shining bright.

    The only problem is I'm a night owl, and I rarely ever see a proper sunny morning, even if I wake up early, it's cloudy. But hey, it exists and I will see it again once this winter passes.

    Good things, exciting times, great entertainment does exist out there. Sometimes we don't know the right people, the right books, the right websites, or the right environments to find it.

    Never let that "well I've already seen/heard/did everything" thing get to you. No you haven't.

    [–]SwallowRP 1 point2 points  (1 child)


    [–]trpftw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yeah indeed.

    But in reality, I've also been told by men who live in the bible belt, that there are women out there who rejoice just because they get to go out for a quiet dinner. That they are more logical and calm and less emotional than the crazies in the cities.

    I know this from my uncle too, who has a girlfriend (age: 60 and 45)... I don't know whether it's because the girl is "past the wall" etc. But maybe it's because she has a career... but really all she wants is to do sports and their idea of fun is renting a movie for the night. They've been together almost a decade. She's about the least selfish blond girl I've ever met. Emotional yes, but in a sort of motherly fashion. Not interested in "thrills" or "partying" or "alcohol" or anything like that. Extremely mature.

    It was refreshing. They do exist out there.

    When I went to the Bible belt, I kinda felt a different vibe from women I tried to ask out. They just overall seemed more shy, reserved, mature, protective of their boyfriends, etc. But they were hotter than any of the urbanites I meet.

    I swear I'm moving to some rural southern/midwest city at some point. Everyone was nicer and blond.

    Maybe that's just me.

    [–]redolas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    To me, it's the other way around. After some TRP, my life is much more interesting. I was bored to live. Now, I can't wait to wake up.

    You're in a slump. Ideas and values are overthrown in your world. Women are not the magical princesses to be conquered. Whatever you thought valuable, is not. You have to look around. You will find new values. Your values. The things you were working for, were society's values. You will see your interest change - for the better - as soon as you find your values. Your goal. What is it you always wanted? Start with something small. Spend time and money on yourself. See what you like. Seduce yourself. The rest will sort itself out.

    [–]passepar2t 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    What was your source of fulfillment previously?

    [–]TRP VanguardArchwinger 3 points4 points  (2 children)

    So apparently, the only source of fulfillment in your life was pairing off with a woman?

    [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)


    [–][deleted]  (7 children)


    [–]RobertCarraway 39 points40 points  (4 children)

    Don't mind ProudRed OP. He's just apparently never dealt with the existential disillusionment that often comes with the Pill. So he's quick to call you a faggot.

    The shattering of this illusion was the hardest truth I've come to terms with.

    I prioritize my male friendships and family ties above all else. Women just need to take a lower priority. Find RP male friends. Not pseudo-internet RP friends. Real ones. Only men can be true allies confidants; so our male friends should be that much more important to us.

    [–]Planner_Hammish 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    You are right about the existential disillusionment that often comes with the Pill. I found Redpill while trying to come to terms with the feelings I had after a breakup. While I was in the relationship, I thought I had done everything right; everything that society said I should do to be happy and successful. But when it was over, I was faced with the cold truth that pretty much everything I knew about women and relationships was a lie and the type of family life I covet doesn't exist. The RP jargon is "swallowing the pill" and boy, that is one horse pill to get down.

    [–]RobertCarraway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    But when it was over, I was faced with the cold truth that pretty much everything I knew about women and relationships was a lie and the type of family life I covet doesn't exist.

    For years I thought that if I just didn't overtly show weakness I could make it work. My last relationship ended, and I realized I've been in denial for the last 5 years. It's not just not showing weakness, you have to actively control her emotions.

    That horse pill goes down so slow and painful - it's so painful that it is usually only swallowed over the course of failed relationships. The pain of losing women that you were deeply attached to - that's the only catalyst that is strong enough to firmly fix the new reality in a man's mind.

    [–]Readleavesbluesguy[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I thought that u/proudredasshole was the only source of feedback I was going to get.... Thanks you guys. I'm coming to terms with reality and its just really difficult.

    From a redpill standpoint, I'm not sure someone like me should have ever opened up this subreddit. It's alot to handle after what I've gone through in life. Alot like when Neo realized he was unplugged and it was almost too much.

    I grew up with a single mom. I became overweight. Struggled with women my whole life. I'm 26 now. Grew up Mormon. Went on a mission.

    Last year, before really taking the red pill into consideration, I was unhappy, 300+ lbs.

    Today I'm 95 lbs lighter and muscular.

    I still struggle with confidence, but I can see that I get treated very differently. The loneliness I feel now is mainly caused from seeing right through all the fake bullshit. After reading so much redpill, advertisements have very little effect. Fake people have very little effect. Everything is bullshit. The fantasy of finding someone that I can truly love is diminishing, and the only thing I care about now is adding value to myself via lifting and studying in school. It seems like such a selfish way to live, but what else can I do? Living in such a fake and distorted fucked up society full of people that have no clear/logical values or goals. The blind leading the blind. Sometimes i feel like I don't have any "real" friends anymore. Once you see all the true social dynamics in play, it becomes very difficult to dismiss the redpill reality. You see the hoes acting just like hoes, and you see the weak ass men getting whipped. The politics of managers and the favoritism toward the flirtatious women. You see the girls that tell you they love you, but you know better. It's a bland, tasteless, poor and fucked up world through this red pill lens.

    That's the way I've been seeing it recently. I want to thank you for all of your comments. Seriously, thank you. You've been a great help to me. I will find my mission.

    As for now I feel a little less lonely knowing that there are people out there that get where I'm coming from. Thank you all so much for the support.

    [–]RobertCarraway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Grew up Mormon

    Something to think about: for all it's faults, the Mormon church is one of the few societies today that raises halfway decent women. They're still women, of course, but they have a semblance of moral conditioning and a degree of external pressure to behave well. It may not be possible for you to return to the church, but I would thing twice before abandoning the church.

    The last thing i'll say is that all RP men should read classic literature. Nietzsche, Goethe, Schopenhauer, Conrad, Turgenev, Carlisle. It's easy to see that they saw the entire world in an RP light, and they struggled enormously with it. But it's what makes them noble, and they make the best friends a man could ask for.

    [–]htbf 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    For many single men, they see fulfilment as having a beautiful woman that loves them, that they can trust wholly and with whom they can let their guard down while they go conquer the world.

    TRP tells them they can't let their guard down with their woman, no matter how much she says she loves him and how much they want to believe it. TRP tells them that they can't trust their woman because it's never locked down.

    The prospect of a woman impossible to lock down is depressing for someone who wants to believe in a romantic couple, ever loving and ever growing together.

    [–]Baldr209 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    start meditating and achieve enlightenment.

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Start figuring out how to live a life that'll give you the freedom to do what you want. For me, that came when I read the Millionaire Fastlane which, despite having a fair amount of fluff, gave me enough of a kick up the ass to get me to start thinking seriously about what I wanted to do with my life.

    I'd also like to echo what was said about getting some solid male friends. You might find this post an interesting read.

    [–]Futdashukup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Fuck a girl, drink a beer, lift.

    [–]blacwidonsfw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Set specific goals and strive for them.

    For example:

    Bad goal: to be more fit by 12/31/16

    Good goal: to bench 225 pounds, squat 300 pounds, and deadlift 400 pounds by 12/31/16

    Bad goal: to have more success with women! 12/31/16

    Good goal: to approach 1 random women every time I go out and at least 5 every weekend. 12/31/16