Got taken advantage of by a fat chick while I was drunk (self.asktrp)

submitted by lunaluis

TL;DR: I threw a small party at my apartment and invited a good 15 of my friends. We're all college kids in the university setting. I blacked out and fat chick takes advantage of me by making out with me while I'm passed out in my own bed. Girl I'm seeing finds out from this girl and still seems to blame me for this. Thinking I'll end my relationship but not sure what to do about the big girl taking advantage of me. She's not a whale but she's pretty thick, not a girl I'd ever get with or attractive to me at all.

I'll try to keep this short. I'm a university student, been lifting and a lurker on the redpill all together for a year now after coming out of a long relationship. Been getting more attention after making gains and becoming better with women. Have a good social circle of friends and potential girls.

I started exclusively seeing this girl about 3 months ago. She's cute and I'm her first relationship so I decided why not, she won't be like all the sorority sluts. Anyways she leaves for a weekend to her hometown as does my roommate. So I decide, screw it I'll throw a little gathering at my place on a Friday night since my friends wanted to hang out.

I tell my friends to invite their friends and around 15-20 people fill up my apartment. I'm bantering and having a good time with all my guests, drinking and joking around. I can tell I'm getting attention from some of the girls who show up as I have the highest social status by knowing pretty much everyone and for hosting the party. Anyways I end up having too many drinks and I literally blacked out (I know this was dumb, especially since TRP doesn't encourage drinking too much). I felt it was ok to do so because it was my place and I trust my friends.

Now this fat chick I know had been eyeing me, came over with two of her friends. She's not landwhale fat but she's pretty plumpy and not attractive to me whatsoever. All of her friends leave home with each one of my friends (props to my friends for getting some that night). I had no interest in this fat chick at all, but I was too drunk to tell her to go home. I was literally falling asleep on a damn chair. The girl I'm seeing is better looking anyways so no point in cheating.

One of my female friends who I study with frequently comes over super late at the end of the night, I hardly remember her coming over. She puts me in my bed and also puts the fat chick in my bed with me but on the other side of my bed (I have a big bed).

Apparently the fat chick makes out with me as soon as my friend leaves, but I have no idea. The next day I wake up and she's already up and helping clean my place. I assumed she slept in my roommates room because she was too drunk to go home and don't think much of it. She helps clean up and I take her home as I get ready to go eat with some of my friends for Cinco de Mayo.

Fast forward to the next weekend and this chick and her friends are throwing a little function so I head over with my friends and the girl I'm seeing. We drink and all have a good time. But at the end of the night, fat chick tells my girl about how we made out without me having any idea about any of this. So my girl gets angry and upset, I just take her home and tell her to talk to me while she's sober.

Next day I talk to her and tell her how I was black out drunk and had no idea fat girl made out with me. I sincerely feel like this chick took advantage of me as my SMV is way higher than hers, and I really don't recall any of it. I even have text messages where this chick texts her friends from my phone, checking on them, and letting them know that I passed out. I show these to my gf but I told her we should break up because this is something she probably won't let go. She insists she forgives me and that she gets it, but I think she actually doesn't.

If the tables were flipped around and I was a girl getting taken advantage of by a guy, everyone would be quick to say it was rape or something along those lines. But because I'm a male, I feel like my gf and the friends she told about it are not understanding. We didn't break up but I think I'm going to end the relationship soon regardless because I don't think its fair to blame me, even though she doesn't. Her attitude says otherwise.

I also haven't talked to fat chick about it at all because I am just really disgusted by it. I told one of my friends but he laughed about it and poked fun and said I got raped (I didn't mind the joking much). I think with my relationship the best thing to do is end it. But not sure what to do about the girl who took advantage of me. What do you guys think? Never been in a situation like this before.

Edit: I know TRP really emphasizes about being in control and in frame at all times. I just want to reiterate that when I was passing out drunk was at the end of the night and that I felt ok to do so because it was my own place. I know I failed at being in control by allowing myself to drink too much, but my question is how to proceed with the girl who took advantage of me. I learned my lesson for next time and know it’s not ok to drink past my limit, whether that’s in my own place or not because you truly can’t trust anyone.

[–]1RPLawyer 102 points103 points  (3 children)

Claim to be a transgender lesbian and go complain to the college authority that you got raped.

[–]lol_throwaway303 25 points26 points  (1 child)

If you’re college is super liberal, they’ll bend over backwards to accommodate you

[–]nme112 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You could report this at my college and the girl would at least get a slap on the wrist or a reputation. Fuck it use their systems.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorFieldLine 105 points106 points  (12 children)

If the tables were flipped around and I was a girl getting taken advantage of by a guy, everyone would be quick to say it was rape or something along those lines. But because I'm a male, I feel like my gf and the friends she told about it are not understanding.

You're smart enough to see reality for what it is, be smart enough to control your liquor. You aren't a woman. You don't get a get-out-of-jail-free card.

[–]2SirKolbath 49 points50 points  (9 children)


It is the responsibility of a man to always - always - be in control of himself.

[–]Nergaal -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Unless the man is actually a manchild

[–]TheStumblingWolf 0 points1 point  (2 children)

It'd still be his responsibility, he'd just sent it because it made him feel better

[–]Nergaal 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I was being sarcastic towards the OP

[–]TheStumblingWolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, couldn't tell.

[–]Random_throwaway_000 0 points1 point  (4 children)

The dude was dead tired and passed out. You never been in a deep sleep before? The only thing he could've done is said no the fat chick sleeps on the couch.

[–]2SirKolbath 0 points1 point  (3 children)

The dude was dead tired and passed out. You never been in a deep sleep before? The only thing he could've done is said no the fat chick sleeps on the couch.

Shut the fuck up and read the post. OP clearly said, and I cut and paste directly:

I was black out drunk and had no idea fat girl made out with me.

Don't correct me unless your own shit is straight.

[–]Random_throwaway_000 0 points1 point  (2 children)

takes advantage of me by making out with me while I'm passed out in my own bed

Reading comprehension off the charts dude! Must be at a 8th grade lvl already. Fuck off, that quote is literally in the TL:DR, you fucked up, own it.

[–]2SirKolbath -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Listen, retard, I have neither the time nor the crayons to decipher this to the series of gutteral squeaks and moans that you can comprehend. I didn't fuck up. You did. Even the phrase "passed out in my bed" doesn't indicate tiredness as damn near no sentient creature on earth would be asleep without chemical restraint while a goddamn hambeast is trying to lip lock with them.

You want to talk about owning up to a fuck up, start with doing as you're told and shutting the fuck up.

[–]Random_throwaway_000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LOL you're funny

[–]lunaluis[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I agree, I’m just annoyed that even in my own place shit like this happens. I learned my lesson and will cut down on my alcoholic consumption.

[–]garrypig 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I learned the other day what happens when you get too drunk

[–]seekere 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Sucks. Happens. Don’t let it happen again.

[–]DanielQuiles 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is complex but not because you got drunk and made out with a fat fuck. Why are you refusing your girl's forgiveness? seems like you want to be rid of her.

[–]Je_suis_throwy 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Don't throw your relationship away because of a uggo. Talk with your GF and the girl who put you in bed and try to clarify the situation for your GF. Go nuclear on the uggo, get a police report on her.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 15 points16 points  (4 children)

Why is it that whenever someone says "I'll try and keep this short" there are two more pages to read through.

. But because I'm a male, I feel like my gf and the friends she told about it are not understanding.

You're right. But so what? Being right makes no difference. Equality isn't real, it's a gambit played by women to get more stuff. It doesn't apply to us.

fat chick tells my girl about how we made out without me having any idea about any of this.

Maintain frame... "no we didn't".

But not sure what to do about the girl who took advantage of me. What do you guys think? Never been in a situation like this before.

Deny it all, simple. "Didn't happen." If they push, make a ridiculous and implausible claim that she must have put viagra in your drink and raped you in your sleep.

[–]YouLoveThisBTW 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I don’t understand why op ever admitted anything. Seriously, it’s a simple convo. “No, it didn’t happen. She’s either a liar or a rapist, take your pick”

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I don't get why he even believed her.

[–]Im_Just_Sayin__ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m with this reply... That next weekend I would have straight up said “no we didn’t”.

Burden of proof would have been on her to explain how you made out while you were passed out. If you maintained frame in that setting, the conversation would have not been favorable to her position, and best for yours to confront it at that moment with the jury (your friends and hers) there in the room as witnesses.

[–]1DubbleFUPAwitCheez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good advice. Since he was blacked out the only "proof" is this fat chick saying it happened. Plus, he's overlooked something important, girls love to create drama and getting OP to break up with his gf creates a window for her since we know she likes him so she has motive to lie.

I want to point out that if his study buddy actually put that chick in his bed with him then she is a dumb bitch and should be told as such.

[–]purplefidgetmidget 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I think she might view the incident as you being weak, and so it might hamster at the back of her mind and permanently affect your SMV.

Your best bet would have been (may still be) to shrug it off, say what the shit who does that, and then ignore it like it was nothing. Don't try to rationalise with your girl as that never works, just tell her that it was fucked up and you're angry (girls like it when their partners are angry, they like emotions). Also be angry (outwardly, even if you're not, pretend), but don't dwell on it. Just say it was fucked up and you're pissed off, but there's probably not much you can do. I'd probably say "What do you want me to do, kick her ass? I would if I could avoid jail". That kind of mentality/speech will save your frame.

I mean, watch Pulp Fiction. After the mafia boss gets raped by those dudes, you'd think there's no way he can come back from that frame-wise. But when the scene is finished and he's telling Bruce Willis to GTFO and that his boys are going to come over and fuck those guys up, you don't feel like the guy is any less of a man for it. He doesn't rationalise, apologise, justify, or anything. He just accepts what happened to him, and goes for some epic payback.

Since you can't do payback your closest option is to make like you would, if you could.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, even when you did not consent to her sexual advances, this incident might have diminished your SMV.

Women are not logical, she may feel that if Chubbs got you(regardless how rapey it was) then your SMV is at least at her level.

I would ostracize Chubbs for being a thirsty and nasty bitch because not only did she create the problem she had the nerve to fuck with your gf's perception of you.

This would be the most beneficial for your SMV and the relationship.

[–]joker_town 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I come from a country where women aren't as powerful, so if this ever happened I would lodge a police report immediately. Not sure whether or not that's an effective method in regard to your area though.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]joker_town 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Malaysia. Atmospheres pretty conservative and there are quite a few people aware of the SJW bullshit in the West. Still, it's slowly penetrating our society through, you guessed it, beta-cucks and wamen.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Ostracize her socially, she's a living, walking minus(-) to your SMV.

    I would publish a picture of a reaction face with this text under it: "My face when I got almost raped by moby dick when passed out" and stick this fat girls profile to it with a smiley face. Or something similar.

    [–]BrutalMan420 8 points9 points  (20 children)

    this is your fault. thats why you get the blame from your girl. if you found out from a guy that he smashed your chick when they were both drunk are you gonna let her get away with it? fuck. no.

    [–]achelliuss 5 points6 points  (11 children)

    He was sexually assaulted while passed out drunk... how is that his fault? When a girl is sexually assaulted while passed out drunk, is that her fault? Because society says otherwise.

    Double-standards even from our own.

    [–]BrutalMan420 4 points5 points  (10 children)

    Because he is an adult. Sorry I dont believe in the “I was drunk” defense. Thats on you. Control yourself like a responsible human.

    [–]juju515 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    cmon dude... he was in his own house... if you can't relax in your own place wtf...

    if the genders were flipped it would be rape...

    and the fat cunt even bragged about it...

    i'm pissed off just reading this...

    [–]achelliuss 5 points6 points  (8 children)

    Control himself? He was sleeping in his bed...

    [–]_isthisthingon 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    You're probably the same guy who blames a victim of domestic violence for getting beaten up by his/her counterpart amirite?

    [–]Random_throwaway_000 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    That sounds more like Brutal Man

    [–]_isthisthingon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yeah, meant to reply to him.

    [–]AllRealsAndNoFeels 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Other people were there, and he willingly put himself in a position to be weak and powerless around them. It's a shitty lesson to have to learn first-hand, but an important one: people are fucking awful and the world is a shitty place.

    I think the OP handled his shit perfectly. It feels like some of the commentors spend a lot of time reading TwoXChromosomes. Blaming the chick of this story doesn't solve any of OP's problems, or teach him any valuable lessons, or make him a better person, or prevent this from happening again. Shouldering the blame puts him in a position to learn from this, and never wind up in this situation again. It'll also teach him a useful lesson about trusting people, and why you shouldn't do it.

    [–]BrutalMan420 -4 points-3 points  (3 children)

    He allowed himself to become a victim by getting “black out drunk” in his own words. If he was sober it wouldnt have happened. Also his title says “While drunk” later in the body he says he was “black out drunk” and even further he says “passed out”. So which is it really???? They arent the same thing.

    [–]achelliuss 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    “Ya, op you were pretty uncontrollable last night, bro! Fucking passed out in your own bed at your own place of residence! Fuckin’ wild, dude!”

    Legally speaking, this is definitely sexual assault. Telling the victim that it’s their fault is not the correct word usage I would use in such a scenario.

    This is asktrp correct? I don’t think just anyone should be allowed to answer questions if this is the trash responses they’ll get. “It’s your fault.” Gtfo

    [–]BrutalMan420 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

    Cool. Agree to disagree. No need to be a whiny bitch about it.

    [–]achelliuss 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Welcome to empathy 101 you weird bastard.

    [–]Bruchibre 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Fuck no!

    [–]lunaluis[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

    If my girl was black out passed out drunk in her bed like I was? I wouldn’t if she was unconscious and even if I did dump her, can you imagine the shit I would get from her friends for dumping her for being “raped” or “sexually assaulted”? Thing was I saw snapchats of me passed out on a chair, that’s how I know I wasn’t ok to consent. It’s not a question if I had control or not, I was passed out drunk. It’s a double standard because if it was the other way around, people would be saying “oh poor girl she got assaulted, not her fault”. The question is how I proceed with the girl who took advantage in case I see her again. I learned my lesson on drinking too much, which is dumb this happens in my own place. But I see the reality and double standard of it.

    [–]BrutalMan420 5 points6 points  (5 children)

    Youre putting societies double standard on me. Personally, Idgaf if youre man or woman. If you drink to excess then you accept the consequences. Drunk people being unaccountable for their actions isnt something Im willing to let rock.

    [–]Je_suis_throwy 0 points1 point  (2 children)

    Your unaccountability argument only works on actions commited. Problem is he could not commit any actions - like defending himself - because he was drunken and asleep.

    [–]BrutalMan420 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Thats funny - hes not accountable for his actions huh? Guess someone was in total control of him

    [–]Je_suis_throwy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yes. Sleep was in control.

    [–]lunaluis[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Now I can agree with you on that, and I’m not by any means trying to avoid the consequences of my actions. But it doesn’t retract from the fact that what the girl did was wrong.

    [–]BrutalMan420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    now I can agree with you too. people take advantage of any opportunity they can, man or woman. best not to let your guard slip. hope you can move forward, might be tough with your current chick though. I get where youre coming from when you cant trust she’ll forget & forgive.

    [–]LandIsForThePeople 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Damn son that's some bulllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllsheit

    [–]mortsdans 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    You shouldn't get that drunk. Shit man for you to not even remember it? TRP is all about taking control of your life. When you get that drunk you give up all control. When you're in college you gotta walk the thin line between getting too drunk and looking like a pussy by not drinking enough. Chug when people are watching, and then baby sip when they're not.

    [–]fade2clear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Why would your "friend" put someone else in your bed(when you're in there first)? Did she know you were seeing someone? Seems like you need to address that first.

    [–]garrypig 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    A lot of comments seem harsh. Police reports and reporting to the university...

    But if tables were flipped and you made out with a drunk chick to take advantage of her, you can bet your ass you’d be expelled already.

    We have to play their game at every opportunity so the know how inequality really works

    [–]Avskygod0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Getting drunk while not liking fatties is srs bsns, avoid such things

    [–]SuperCrazy07 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'll try to keep this short.

    You failed.

    This seems like a lot of drama over a kiss you don't even know for sure happened. I would just drop the subject.

    [–]Wrath_of_Trump 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    If your girl is upset that some fat bitch got on top of you, just walk away. She should know better, she is being dumb and needs to get checked. Walk away

    [–]juju515 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I really don't know what advice to give you....

    but I feel you dude...

    to bad men are not allowed to hit a woman even after a sexual assault... fat cunt...

    [–]wildnight98 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Stop fucking drinking so much that bottom feeding predators can ass rape you whenever they want. Fucking weak bro.

    [–]babybopp -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

    Dude for starters... what are you doing in bed with her? Haven't u learnt anything about rape claims?

    Two, how is it that people are that comfortable to get into ur personal space like that? Way too comfortable. Girls should know that if they come into ur room it is to get fucked and not to have a fucking sleepover.

    Three, Ur whining and bitching about a girl on ur bed just shifted the dynamics of ur relationship with that girl. Opening up to her on how you were vulnerable and shit... I can safely say, that ship has popped a hole and is starting to sink. It is just a matter of time.

    To save it, return to stoicism and maintaining frame. Rethink ur encounters. Stop bitching about rape like those northeastern college feminists.... and for sure don't include it as an excuse for sleeping in bed with a fat chic. If this chics respected ur boundaries and you, they is no way they would have dropped the fat gal on your bed to get laid. Your "hot" friend is also probably in on it.

    If she decides to bounce, add the thicc girl as a plate and skeet skeet on wit life.

    [–]lunaluis[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

    For starters, if you didn’t read, I was asleep on a god damn chair. My friend put me in my bed with the fat chick. I was basically asleep or just passed out for all of it. I didn’t even know until the fat chick told my gf, so for all I know she could have lied about it but she was still at my place the next morning.

    Second: Thats why I said it’s a university setting. Girls are at their prime in sex drive, they get drunk and don’t give a fuck. Many potential girls all around and they’re super willing to with a few drinks, some game, and effort. Drinks just so they have an excuse to be sluts. Not hard to get laid in college. My thing is not just going for any HB 6 as a quick lay. As I self improve and become better, so does my pick of quality of girls. Also why would I cheat with a fat chick when I could have sex with my girl virtually any day of the week? That wouldn’t make sense.

    Three: I can actually agree with you on this. Rather than explaining myself to her and saying I was vulnerable, I should have been more frank and less vulnerable about what went down in the situation. I admit I could have handled this better. If she’s not understanding about it, I don’t mind letting her go as I wouldn’t want a girl who’s ok with double standards anyways. Roles reversed, I would be forgiving if she had the evidence I have.

    No way I’ll add a girl way below my SMV as a plate when there’s 25,000 girls who go to my university I could try to go after. I’m upset at my female friend for putting the fat chick in bed with me but ultimately it’s my fault, even though I just passed out in my own house. What I want advice on is what I do about the fat chick and how to approach that, because I’m sure I’ll see her around again.

    [–]_isthisthingon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    What I want advice on is what I do about the fat chick and how to approach that, because I’m sure I’ll see her around again.

    Don't even acknowledge her existence. Maintain frame.

    [–]i_forget_my_userids -1 points0 points  (0 children)

    This is such a bullshit response. You have no sense of agency. Are you sure you're not just posting this so you can show your girlfriend later and beg forgiveness? "Lol babe I posted about it online, totally not lying."