LIFESTYLEA Hygge Winter (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor

My BF has recently become very obsessed with this Scandinavian concept of "coziness" or "hygge" (although he doesn't always use this particular word for it). Apparently it's a major concept in Denmark, and as far as I've been able to research, it means:

  • "Battening down the hatches" of your home (loved that phrase, got it from an article)
  • Cherishing small moments and domestic details
  • Taking the time to make little things like making a cup of hot cocoa indulgent
  • That supreme feeling of warmth and safety that comes from being at home with those you love
  • Spending time together doing simple and timeless things (i.e. board games)

Some popular books on "hygge" even recommend watching a slightly scary or suspenseful film to increase the contrast between the outside world and your inner sanctuary.

Some things we've done that he really enjoys:

  • Picked out a specific corner of our room that I made ridiculously cozy. Got a new pillow and extra soft throw, and an ottoman type thing. I really fussed over the details, even measuring so I knew the perfect ottoman height, to ensure it's one of those insanely comfy places for him to sit

  • Found a very very very lightly scented candle (took ages to find because he hates artificial scents) he actually enjoys

  • Took time to put away a lot of summer/spring clothes and tidy up more than usual. That way Christmas decorations and other little tchotckes (like all these new candles haha) don't make our space cluttered

  • Googled recipes that are very rich/filling/wintery, and that are also the kind of dinner you can leave simmering and make the whole room smell nice

  • Bought several new board games - these have been a really great way to spend quality time together and many only take 10-20 minutes per game.

  • Planned smaller and more informal group get-togethers than usual, simultaneously being more merciless about saying 'no' to things we don't feel like doing

  • Woken up early to have a quick tea with each other weekday mornings

  • Thick sweaters and wool socks are never unwelcome!

If you guys have any other tips to make this an extremely cozy winter, I'd love to hear! My BF wants to go all-in this winter :)

[–]teaandtalk4 Stars 18 points19 points  (4 children)

Some hygge food that my husband loves:

  • slow-roasted pork and vegetables - pumpkin, potato

  • hot cocktails

  • crème brûlée

  • full English breakfast (toast, egg, bacon, sausages, a few veggies maybe)

Home decor:

  • Ditch all the overhead lighting, replace it with lamps/candles

  • Cover hard floor surfaces with rugs

  • Get a small heater for the bathroom for after showers, or a heated towel rack if possible

  • Replace bright floral arrangements with more subdued seasonal arrangements - foliage, pine cones, etc.


  • Mull wine together!

  • Exchange your usual date spots for more cosy, intimate venues (one of our most memorable dates was a late-night Starbucks to sit in big squishy armchairs and drink seasonal hot-chocolate variations)

  • Get into Christmas! My husband loved the home-made Advent calendar I made with each day having an activity to do together.

Hope some of these help!

[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Thanks, these are awesome ideas! The smell of mulled wine is amazingly festive.

I LOVE the idea of a home-made advent calendar. I sometimes indulge in ones for myself but it'd be so much more meaningful to find or make one for both of us to share. I think it's a good example of the kind of thing men might find delight in, but would never think to give themselves :)

EDIT: ok /u/teaandtalk I am now all in on this advent calendar. It'll be a challenge to find that many cute (but physically small) gifts he'd enjoy but I love the idea of doing something so over-the-top!

[–]teaandtalk4 Stars 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I'll try to remember some examples of things I put in there!

  • a recipe for a hot chocolate drink that I'd bought the ingredients for

  • tickets to a movie/whatever you like

  • a $10 bill (enough for two coffees) and the business card of a new cafe

  • a date idea (eg 'go for a picnic in x park and buy ice cream)

  • a tiny block of fancypants chocolate

  • a miniature bottle of whiskey with a recipe for a hot toddy

  • a handwritten poem


Aaaaand now I feel like I should do one for this year too...he loves that stuff but I've gotten slack over the last few years :(

[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Those are really cute! I just made a spreadsheet and outlined the 25 gifts I want to do - I tried to schedule it so it's a big gift every 5-6 days, and little ones in between. My gosh this is gonna be a lot of work... but very excited for it!

Some ones I came up with:

  • Customized lighter 1 day, then nice cigar the next
  • Custom cozy (that thing you use to hold beer), then a really nice bottle of beer the next (will have to just stick it in the fridge in the back and put a little card referencing it in the advent calendar)
  • Little "desk" toys (i.e. those little zen garden things)
  • Wine mulling kit (little bag of spices)

I love yours - definitely gonna steal the hot chocolate and movie ticket idea.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those are some great ideas! Thank you!

[–]batting4fireflies 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Great post! Last winter my SO and I went shopping for comfy slippers during a vacation. He found a great pair at Cabellas that have a fur lining but also have a rubber sole with good traction so he can wear them outside quick (usually to take the dog out). I didn’t find slippers that fit, but I got this super cute plaid fleece shirt in a peach color that is cozy and feminine. A year later we snuggle on the couch with our finds and it’s also a nice reminder of our vacay.

[–]anothergoodbook 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I read something similar in a parenting book I had. They called it "expanding" and "contracting". During summer we are in "expanding" mode. We lose track of time more easily and stay up late and go out more. And during winter we are "contracting" where it is similar to what you posted. Tending to stay at home more, go to bed earlier, etc. They were talking about honoring our (and our children's) bodies' natural rhythms.

[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really hit the nail on the head. There's a season (literally) for everything. :)

Even over the course of a week you can see these patterns - if we've gone out every weekday night when Friday comes around we feel the need to shrink our world back down a little.

[–]Blissfully 4 points5 points  (1 child)

This sounds awesome!! I can’t wait to try this in the future.

I just had a thought - what about a string of polaroids if you guys throughout the year/seasons to hang in the cozy corner?

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love the Polaroid idea!

[–]buttercup144 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Love this! I have found a couple of those expensive Lovesac foam beanbag chairs on Craigslist and they are a great way to snuggle up and watch a movie.

[–]Nomnommnivore 4 points5 points  (0 children)

OH! I have a book called "The little book of Hygge" Its the best thing I've read all year! - Hot chocolate after a cold day - Candles lit, even if they aren't scented. (our favorite is cedar) - Evening peppermint tea - Setting the thermostat to have the house warm when we get home from work - Jammies and warm blankets (my hubby has a favorite blanket) - Rewatching a favorite show together - Standing next to a wood stove after cutting wood - Watching the snow fall on a quiet night - Walking the dog when it snows big fluffy flakes at night - warm socks out of the dryer - Making sure his boots are dry and warm - Quiet time together before we sleep. Having a talk about how the day went and plans for the next day. - Extra pillows on the bed - Comfort foods

[–]BlaueBlumeFreiheit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I gathered some lovely yellow leaf´s that I will dry and put into star shape for the windows. Some of the transparent paper stars are unfortunately teared up by moving.

I always found pure beeswax candles are fantastic with a very gentle clean and sweet scent.

Seconded, I found a few good ones at a Autumn Fair.

This year I wanted to visit the local christmas fairs but after last years terror attack in Berlin my Husband is not so very fond of me going to any of these fairs outside. So I will visit the indoor fair at the local waldorf school.

[–]Cardiscappa 4 points5 points  (6 children)

This is great. I love the mid century modern (Scandinavian) style with all the teak and try to have that style as my skeleton and work around it. I haven't painted, so my walls are still a off white, but I kind of like it with the wood furniture and accents I have.

I always found pure beeswax candles are fantastic with a very gentle clean and sweet scent.

I've upped my sweater game this year too. I managed to get some thicker, but not cardboard box thick, sweaters. Much more than what I would ever spend, but they were on sale and are merino wool blends. Classic styles and they should last many seasons. I also got my mitts on merino wool tights so I can wear skirts and dresses without totally freezing.

I bought myself some proper hot cocoa today and will be making some soon right now. I have a great little place with lots of windows on the one side and there's nothing I love more than sitting on my little sofa with the snow falling on the pine trees outside and being warm and toasty inside. I hate winter for the snow melt cycle making it hard to walk (super uneven & slick surfaces), but I love that it brings this calm and regeneration feeling. In the summer I'm out all the time and feel guilty having sofa days, but not in the winter. I like to recoup both physically and mentally and take the cold as an excuse to read and learn more. (Ironically here I am still Interneting...)

[–]Meadowfly 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Great post! Seconding beeswax candles and merino tights.

[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Your place sounds really lovely! I miss living in a snowier area, there is absolutely a 'regenerative' (good word) feeling all that stark whiteness brings about.

I've never made non-instant hot cocoa, that's a good idea, I bet it makes a big difference.

As you can tell from my posting history my BF has had a stressful time of it, and since he NEVER requests ANYTHING, I was really excited that this time he asked me for something explicit. I've gone a little all out but it's been an intense year for both of us and a nice Christmas season of recuperation feels like the perfect end to 2017.

[–]Cardiscappa 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Thank you very much.

The hot cocoa smells really rich. It reminds me of the "moose droppings" my mother would make. I wish I had some thick whipped cream to top it with, but I will live. ;)

I also like "warm" music - Ludovico Einaudi. Experience is my favourite track from that album. I also like the Cafe Jazz channel.

Edit: Oh! You can also get crystals to hang in the window to bounce light and rainbows. I think it looks really pretty and adds a splash of light and colour. You can get them cheap off eBay.

Here are a few of recipes too:

Cauliflower & cheddar soup (Get the good expensive cheddar, you will not be disappointed.)

Butternut squash risotto

Carrot ginger soup

I've gone a little all out but it's been an intense year for both of us and a nice Christmas season of recuperation feels like the perfect end to 2017.

I think you're off to a really nice start. "Warm" ;) wishes to both of you and hoping that you have a nice rejuvenating winter.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, I love Ludovico Einaudi!

[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

THANK you, these are great tips. BF freakin' LOVES cheddar, so that recipe seems absolutely perfect. I'm not that great in the kitchen and thick soups are not super advanced so yay!

[–]Cardiscappa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad I could help! :)

The cauliflower one is SO simple. I just brown a bit of onion, toss in the cauliflower, brown that and then add some water and a few cubes of chicken stock. Use the hand blender when it's all soft and mushy and grate some cheddar in there. (I always blend before the cheese.) I will also put in chunks of cheddar in so you'll get a big chunk of gooey cheese every now and then. I use this "rugged" cheddar from Scotland and it's so delicious. I can get two days' worth of soup for under $15. You honestly can't lose.

[–]feistysalsa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds nice!

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Ooh yay! I'm so glad you posted this. I love the concept of hyyge and was lucky enough to experience it in Scandanavia. I'd love to capture some of that for my own home.

My first instinct is always to make lots of warm, stick-to-your ribs food and to bake. Turning the oven on keeps the house warm, and everyone likes to congregate over a warm bowl of stew or a hot cookie!

I definitely need help in the interior decorating department. Putting away spring and summer items for less clutter is a good idea.

[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Ooh, that's cool that you experienced the real thing. :)

I'm actually grateful 'hygge' has become such a trend because I can just look it up on Pinterest and Instagram. I can judge what is and is not working but I don't always know how to get there myself.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a lovely warm memory in my mind: it was windy outside and probably in the 30s or low 40s. The sun was down by 4PM. But then my friends and I stepped inside this little coffee shop that was simply glowing with warm yellow light, and we stopped for a cup of coffee and amazing blueberry pie with cream. There were several cozy nooks to sit in, books to read and board games. It was lovely. There were other examples, but that was an unforgettable distillation of hyyge that makes me want to bring it into my own home!

I don't always know how to get there myself

Me too. I'm lucky enough to live by an IKEA now so they have cool ideas. My sister seems to have a complete knack for home decor and comfort. For me it is a bit of a struggle. Clutter is my natural tendency...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This is a lovely post! I've gotten a few good ideas :)

Just today my husband and I created a nook out of a large closet in our living room. For anyone who is a Harry Potter fan, think of the closet Harry grew up in. We cleared out the unnecessary junk, strung up some Christmas lights (my husband's grown to like them like I do :P), and put our big Lovesac in there. It's so cozy!

[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

OMG I'm a HUGE Harry Potter fan! That sounds amazing. A little winter reading nook sounds absolutely lovely.

[–]lilaclemons 1 point2 points  (0 children)


Bonus: I have a heated blanket and we get very snuggly under it

[–]Herjaren 1 point2 points  (3 children)

As a Norwegian, "kos"(Hygge in danish) is cozy, but "koselig" is the conceptualization of it, the action behind the word cozy.

This does not infer coziness per the English definition. It is the reciprocal notion of psychological and physical meandering by both, or all participating parties. It is the enjoyment of a cozy setting in a cozy manner with (a) cozy person(s). This is also a setting where your feminine nature and vulnerability can be expressed in an intimate and seductive yet playful, endearing and innocent manner. Make use of this situation to submit to his warmth and strength, you will love yourself for it.

TLDR: Get yourself a king size, hardy wool blanket, dress up in warm clothes, fill the thermos with HOMEMADE, WHOLE MILK hot chocolate, find a bench in a lovely spot, sit under the blanket in the snowy darkness and just exist together. That's "Koselig."

[–]LaceandsilksModerator | Lace 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Please remove "As a...man" and review the sidebar.

Reply to this comment once you have made the edit and I will put it back on the sub.

[–]Herjaren 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Done, I am now merely a Norwegian!

[–]LaceandsilksModerator | Lace -1 points0 points  (0 children)


Really interesting explanation by the way. :)

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

No, just very overworked 20-somethings

[–]LaceandsilksModerator | Lace[M] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Be polite or be quiet.