INSIGHTFUL17 Gestures that make men feel loved (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by [deleted]

I thought this was a good list of things that make men feel loved. So much marriage advice is like 'make him a scavenger hunt!' 'talk to him about your feelings!' and that's so unhealthy. This list was a lot more man-friendly, though there were a couple of blue-pill assumptions in there (like 'let him have his man time' - you shouldn't have to 'let him' do anything!!!). There are a couple on there that I haven't tried in a while!

[–]Nullberri 11 points12 points  (3 children)

13 Tell him often how handsome he is.

really only matters if your also doing:

9 Initiate sex more - and be more playful and romantic.

Otherwise its just empty rhetoric.

[–]katsumii 0 points1 point  (2 children)

What is the reasoning behind this? Just curious. Also, because I'm probably doing it wrong.

[–]Nullberri 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Because what is said isn't lining up with what's happening. If its true that I am handsome then why is there not also sexual engagement? When I hear only the compliment but not the actions it implies (that i am found to be sexually attractive) it begins to sound disingenuous.

To make a non sexual version of this its like saying "we should hangout sometime" then never making plans to do so. If you were truly interested in hanging out you'd follow through and try to make plans. But when you don't make plans i would assume you were simply being polite or only weakly interested.

[–]katsumii 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, that helps. Thanks.

[–]Joyly 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Good list.

  1. Don't talk bad about him. Ever. Be loyal to your man in every way.

This one reminded me of when I went to lunch with my future MIL and SIL one day. My future SIL was talking about how her and her brothers' wives like to go out together and "bitch about their husbands". And my future MIL smiled and said to me, "we're girls, that's what we do!"

I just sat there shocked, not knowing what to say. I just completely disagree with that. I could never talk badly about my fiancé.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I HATE that!!! That's one of the reasons I enjoy this community - the paradigm difference between women bitching about their partners to women praising their partners is so good.

[–]code5fun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuck that behavior. Gossip never did anything good but this is another level of betrayal.

[–]Mentathiel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Seriously, that's really stupid. If there's an issue in your relationship, talk to your SO, not to people who aren't involved or helping make it right. Sure, sometimes you are genuinely worried and want to ask advice on how to help your SO, but that's different. All these women seem really malicious when they talk.

[–]code5fun 3 points4 points  (0 children)

1. Food is the way to a man's heart.

  • not really, I eat everything but cooking shows that you care about family

2. Put yourself first.

  • yes, and tell him what you want, men are not good with figuring out your puzzles

3. Save money.

  • yes, wasteful behavior is careless behavior

4. Don't talk bad about him.

  • yes, gossip is betrayal and if you do it about your SO you are killing of your own relationship

5. Kiss him often.

  • yes, even if we act all tough, we still melt with kisses (jet kisses can't melt steel dudes is a lie, our anniversary was a part time job)

6. Pick up one of his hobbies and really get into it.

  • no, the thing I like is to see is your eyes shining from something you love to do, seeing you smile is better than any hobby

7. Let him have some man time.

  • yes, threat man like a fish in a tank, attention is good but you also need to look away to make him feel comfortable

8. Catch him doing good.

  • yes and compliment him, this will push his ego and make you love more which makes you love him more in return

9. Initiate sex more - and be more playful and romantic.

  • can't emphasize this enough, give the man what he loves, you

10. Write him a letter.

  • yes, asking how someone is always good, but don't overdo it, remember he is a fish

11. Plan a day that he would love - for just the two of you.

  • Plan a day that he would love - just for him, without you, men need some private time, that will make him miss you

12. Honor your roles.

  • Make your lives easier for each other, this is so important and many fail because of that, they expect to always have to do things they love but life isn't like that, you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes, even if you don't like it

13. Tell him often how handsome he is.

  • yes, his confidence up, it will make him more erect towards you

14. Compliment him often in front of others.

  • yes, pointing out good things help so much in a relationship, many miss that because they think that it is clear that you appreciate it but men are not the smartest of animals, it is necessary to point out the obvious!

15. Be quick to say you are sorry.

  • saying sorry is not a defeat for you, it is a win for you both

16. Surprise him with that gift/gadget he has been wanting forever.

  • the secret to a gift is following: buy something he will like but he would have never bought it himself.

17. Ask for his advice, and then follow it.

  • making someone feel useful is never a good thing but more important is to not make him feel the opposite way. because that is were it gets dangerous, men are still animals that live by ego

[–]the_vagenius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Careful with number 6. Some hobbies we take up for alone time, silence, time to think (See number 7). Unless he shows interest in sharing it with you, and you have genuine interest enough to follow, it's probably best to let him do his thing.

I hear sports fans dig it when their wives and girlfriends show interest, but don't quote me on that, I hate spectator sports.

It can also get annoying if he's a dyed-in-the-wool fan and you're a bit of a poseur. It's cute for a while but then it gets sad. My current GF is a true fan of the geek culture, one of the first things she said to me was a VERY obscure Star Trek reference ("DOMJOT HUMON!" for the geeks in the audience.) I wanted to impregnate her right there. but when my ex tried to get into star trek it was like teaching japanese to a chimp. I wanted to strangle her. it was bad.