Hello, my name is Goddess_of_Light, and I'm a recovering riot grrrrrrl SJW Feminazi.
I say that with all sincerity. I was the girl with the buzz cut, nose ring, boy clothes, nasty attitude, 2 divorces, no college degree working in the restaurant industry, single 1/2 time mom, and not awesome personal hygiene. So, what happened? Jeez.
I met a man. Like, THE man. He is a man's man. He's a therapist, woodworker, fisherman, strong absurdly attractive fit American-Italian, ruthless honesty, integrity, leadership, a house, a boat, ALL of it. Like, the total package. He's 30 and never been married, no kids. And in spite of all the things above he picked me. The way he recounts it, he said he saw something special when I played music in front of him (the one place I had allowed my true feminine power to actually come out).
I've been lurking this site for months. I've read The Surrendered Wife. I listen to Alison Armstrong like my life depends on it. I think the craziest thing is, by being with a man like him, I started naturally gravitating into becoming the woman I am today.
It's like, I intuitively wanted to please and support him even though it went against EVERYTHING I grew up believing and had bought into. I slowly allowed him to be the Man (because he's the kind of man who essentially just commands that with his presence) and I naturally fell into becoming a woman. I'm completely sexually available, not from a place of obligation, but from pure joy. I dress and act feminine, even dyed my hair blond and lost 15 pounds. Took out the nose ring. Got a job at a law firm. I keep the home spotless. I support him at every turn without being critical. I am receptive to all of his gifts (even when they don't look the way I "think" they should) And the fucking insane part is how much I enjoy it. Like, I'm so happy.
There is still, however, this internal conflict that pops up. I suppose it's natural after living with rigid feminist ideologies for as long as I did. I started looking for answers and stumbled across Alison Armstrong, who explains the biologies of the sexes and how to work within that framework - and I was so ANGRY because she was so RIGHT! But, the evidence is clear. In my relationship. I didn't know LTR bliss like this existed. I didn't know just how much I was craving to be taken care of and to embrace the power within my femininity. These things may have become intuitive at some level, but I'm hungry for more.
I'm starting to really grasp how much of a fluke it was that I landed the package deal, and I am determined to rise to the occasion. There is still that small SJW voice (He's not trying to be helpful, he's trying to insult you!) that tries to derail me, so I come here with an open-mind and mild apprehension.
I've read these posts and you are some of the most caring, dedicated, supportive, considerate AND accountable, non-victim, courageous women I've ever seen. I am so inspired, and I'm committed to becoming the best version of myself and fully embracing all of these things that still seem amazing, but so foreign to me. I would be honored to be a part of this community and to learn and grow with you wonderful women.
That was a super round-a-bout way of introducing myself, but I want all of you to know just how excited I am that I have found my people!