FIELD REPORT"Even when you're at your worst...you're still amazing" (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by NewMindRedPill1 Star

I just want to give a quick example. I think a lot of people believe that when they're sick or in pain they have the excuse to drop their manners and be rude/mean. Often this means they are directly hurting the people who are caring for them.

I've been very sick this week and a few days ago I was in immense pain, throwing up, passing out. Not fun. At no point was I impatient, rude, or mean to my bf and he really noticed (his mom gets mean when she is in any poor physical state). He said that even when I'm at my worst I'm still amazing and everything he ever wanted.

I understand its a lot harder to remain kind and considerate when you're sick or in pain but why make the person who is trying to care for you have a worse time? It takes practice to learn to retain kindness no matter the situation but its important to practice now when we're young.

I've worked at a retirement center where the majority of older people are in constant pain. The older people who use pain as an excuse to be rude/mean were more likely to have been divorced and rarely if ever get visits from their children. They also generally received less care because no one wanted to be near them.

Next time you're sick, practice patience and remind yourself that whoever is taking care of you probably loves you a lot. The more that they love you, the more they will hurt from any mean remarks.

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This is so true. My boyfriend was seriously ill and in excruciating pain for two years and handled it with amazing decorum and gratitude. Every once in a while he would snap at me or his mom (his main caretakers) but would quickly apologize. It was a very rare thing too.

It made me love him all the more and truly blew me away with his strength.

[–]LuckyLittleStarModerator | Lil'Star[M] 11 points12 points  (1 child)

+1 Star for you!

[–]NewMindRedPill1 Star[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aww thank you! <3

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Very good post, although the title is somewhat misleading.

As someone who has been through years upon years of various kinds of illness and pain - I agree with this 100%.

[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Love it! One good trick I've found for maintaining my composure when I'm in pain or sick is to embrace the vulnerability. For instance, when my BF is helping me get up and I'm in pain and scared of the motion, instead of snapping at him out of fear and distress, I lean INTO the vulnerability and show it! And of course, he never fails to respond to my whimper/however I show my fear by being extra gentle and considerate.

[–]Kiddingyoself 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This kind of grace is so impressive, and something I continue to strive for.

[–]ragnarockette4 Stars 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As always, so much of this community comes back to “be a kind, gracious person.” A great reminder for flu season!!

[–]bewareofmeg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Here, here!

[–]jm51 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let's play with the MM quote. (Which I'm sure was written for her.)

'If you get to see me at my worst, I don't deserve you.'

[–]PumpkinSubEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a very sweet thing for him to say to you!