FIELD REPORTTaking the red pill is resulting in the LTR of my dreams. (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by a_cat_in_the_stacks

Hello hello! So I'm newish to RPW and I've been upping my girl game, confidence, and feminine zest for life following a dark stint subscribing to the feminist church in college.

I have posted here previously regarding a sigma/introverted man I've been seeing for a year now (https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/55p63f/he_has_given_me_a_conditional_offer_to_move_me_to/). Just to recap, I lost his trust/attraction during the tail end of my SJW days and I fell into a depression related to my paranoid world views and lost sight of myself/life goals. Understandably he had little interest in a relationship with me earlier this year and expressed he didn't want to be my boyfriend and was skeptical of me. We still kept in touch/slept together and during this time I did a complete 180 and took the red pill.

It really wasn't easy and I went through a depression phase. The "empowerment" that feminism claimed to offer me turned me into a reactionary, paranoid, and clingy woman. The way I viewed men was not out of respect and understanding, but out of fear. Feminism taught me that ambiguous forces such as the patriarchy and male privilege influenced men consciously and subconsciously. This supposedly leads to toxic expressions of masculinity, which can manifest in all sorts of ways. Long story short, I was seeing malicious intentions in the men around me that just were not there. While I never had a combative personality, I was needlessly avoidant of men and vetting them incorrectly.

I'm in such a great position today and I owe much of it to finding my inner grace as a woman and respecting the contrasting imperatives/goals that men have. With my (now) boyfriend in particular, it was just a matter of allowing myself to fall in his frame and adding worth to his life outside sex.

You guys weighed in on the situation and I'm happy to say that I've earned a chance with the man of my dreams. Upon him offering conditional LTR/girlfriend status based on my own self improvement, I was confused about if it was a good idea to continue seeing this guy, but things seem to be heading in the right direction since I've decided to continue giving the relationship a shot.

He recently brought me to his brother's fiance's bridal shower, which was a great opportunity for me to make a good impression with the other ladies in his family and meet family members and family friends. He told me it was a rare occurrence that his whole family got together like that, so I felt really special that he trusted me to represent him in that situation. His aunt told him that I was really sweet and he seemed pleased by my manners around his family. I might be spending Christmas with his family now. Yay!

I only get to see him once a week or so since he goes to college an hour away from me, but I really try to make his visits worth it. I've been dolling up in dresses when I see him (he always comments that I look cute!), give him massages, let him relax after a hard week, giggle with him, buy him his favorite snacks, talk about our shared hobby (trading card games) etc. All those little things add up!

I'm having the best sex of my life. Last time he visited we went at it three times in one night. He really opened up to me during sex. He wanted to look deep into my eyes and talk to me. I told him I wanted to be good to him so much and I didn't want any other guy to touch me or have me. I told him he's the man in my heart. He said "I know. You are so good to me. That's why I want to have sex with only you. I love you more than anyone. I hope you can feel that."

He then told me that he loves our sex and that it means something. He told me I am special and when I told him I wanted to be with him he said I was with him. God it was so hot and afterwards he held me tight in his arms and whispered in my ear that he loves me and we fell asleep sweaty and happy. This is some top tier mythic romance novel level stuff. I've been swooning for days.

He's been sending me more "I miss you" texts. I just let him initiate conversation and give him space when he needs to focus on school. He has another semester left after this one before he is ejected into the "real world" and starts the amazing IT job he's been offered. No more stage five clinger behaviour! Of course having a job and a couple of new projects in my life helps keep me occupied and content. I've been helping a coworker out with her vintage clothing shop on Etsy and I've been taking a introductory web design class and kicking butt at that. Of course I'm watching my calorie intake and doing leg lifts/crunches. I'm already at a healthy weight, but I'm looking to tone the booty and legs.

My end goal is probably what most of you want. I want to make a home with a life partner. Marriage would probably be a part of that. I can definitely see myself with my boyfriend for life and I feel like I'd be the happiest girl alive to stand by him every day. I hope to continue on being a phenomenal girlfriend and respect myself as well.

Thanks ladies!

[–]PinkTulipz 15 points16 points  (2 children)

It's almost eerie how I can relate to nearly every word in this post. Feminism talks so much about mental health, but they are the ones who plant the seeds of misery and paranoia and feed it.

So happy for you, keep it up.

[–]bittersweettruth_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Feminism talks so much about mental health, but they are the ones who plant the seeds of misery and paranoia and feed it.

No shit. RPW has done so much more for me in 2 years than what therapy and medication has done for me in over a decade....

EDIT: I'm not discounting therapy or medication or professional treatment, but my point is that those things, while they can definitely be helpful, have personally not helped me at the same level RPW has.

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My God, I can't believe how many of my feminist friends go to therapy to analyze themselves instead of for something serious (like abuse or a grievance). My feminist friends are all so unhappy but they feel empowered so whatever.

[–]yoyoyohwhatwhat 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Congrats girl! I'm new to RPW, but I used to lurk RPM a few years ago. I had no idea this community existed! I'm also fed up of what feminism has turned into, and what SJW has turned into. So glad there's an outlet here to explore femininity without the mainstream narrative and agenda.

Anyway you sound like you're at an amazing place. Best of luck!

[–]LOST_TALE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was SJW anything else?

[–]Willow-girl 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm glad things are going so well for you! It sounds like you guys are in a really good place now. :-)

[–]Heldenhaft 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Im soo happy for you!! I remember reading your initial post when it was first on RPW, and wondered how to navigate such a situation being in a "limbo" phase but I really hoped you guys could work it out and it looks like there has been a good outcome in the end!

He sounds like a lovely man with good character and values.

Be proud of you efforts! Its very inspiring for all!

[–]a_cat_in_the_stacks[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! He is definitely Captain material. The fact he's given me a second chance to be a part of his life like this is a testament to his care for me.

He has told me to not expect him to ask me to marry him or move in with him, although he did say that doesn't mean not ever. He's still in college and has never had his own apartment on his own before and I still live with my parents so it's understandable marriage is not on the table.

I can tell he's still a little wary of me, but full on submission, letting him have me enthusiastically whenever he wants, giving him my devotion, and an agreeable, patient demeanor have done wonders in moving me up from plate status. Maybe he's thinking I'm waiting until I lock him down and then I will unleash the inner shrew, which is a legitimate fear for a man. Hopefully the longer I show him consistent behavior, the more he sees this just isn't the case! I want to always be at the top of my gf game for him because I just love to see him satisfied and earning his commitment is important to me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lovely FR

[–]melonmagellan 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If you had to give a one sentence summary of the changes you made, what would it say? Woman here and curious :)

[–]a_cat_in_the_stacks[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh wow. I'd say the one aspect that encompasses the changes I've made involves practicing gratitude, meaning cherishing what you've been able to achieve thus far as opposed to focusing on the ideal end goal alone.

[–]videlachkadua 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good luck. That's good you've gotten commitment with your true lover.

You keep doing what you need to do.

I am new too so I know how you feel.

If you have any questions pm me.

Have a good day.

[–]LOST_TALE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feminism taught me that ambiguous forces such as the patriarchy and male privilege influenced men consciously and subconsciously. This supposedly leads to toxic expressions of masculinity, which can manifest in all sorts of ways.

Made me think.

TRP thought me evolved psychological forces influenced women consciously and subconsciously. This supposedly leads to toxic expressions of femininity, which can manifest in all sorts of ways.

I guess you could also add fancy words such as gynocracy gynoarchy, lol , matriarchy. Economic Vampiricism, credit to Molyneux