THEORYChildlike vs. Childish (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor

My boyfriend has a friend, who is in his 50's. He married a woman much younger than him, she's 29. While she's gorgeous and youthful, they fight. A LOT. Predominantly because the age difference is too big, and she hasn't caught on to what her responsibilities should be.

For example, yesterday they had to take a flight in the evening to France. The husband was working in the morning and began packing in the afternoon.

Wife is out hanging with her girlfriend and returns home 1.5 hours before departure. She hasn't packed. Ensue big argument between the couple since she's acting like an irresponsible child when she's almost 30. Apparently she needed him to tell her what time to come home and what she needed to do, she couldn't think for herself and think like an adult.

While this example might be extreme (since there's a 25 year age gap), it's still proves true that even when a man wants a submissive, youthful wife, you will still irritate him by being childish and irresponsible.

Childlike is different than childish. Childlike is when you are open to life's opportunities, are fearless, excited, optimistic. Childish is being irresponsible, unmanageable, stubborn, immature.

Wives need to be feminine, radiant but also functional. The key is not to let your functionality overrun the relationship (bossy, naggy). How can RPW maintain your childlike optimism while still being functional?

1) Childlike affection. Ever seen a little girl hug a puppy, or kiss her parents? Or beg her daddy for a piggy back ride? Giggle when someone harmlessly teases her? She's open with her emotions, she's not afraid to show her love. She gives her affection to those that are dear to her.

2) Childlike enjoyment. Think about a little girl eating ice cream, enjoying her favorite lasagna, putting on a pair of beautiful earrings, painting her nails, singing along to her favorite song. She's happy about the simple things in life. She's uninhibited with the pleasures of the world. Any good woman knows how to control her emotions - to switch from being functional to being childlike, and a talented RPW knows how to assess which situation requires which quality.

[–]ClaireBear89 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's not fair to say they fight because the age difference is too big. People of the same age can have incompatible maturity levels too.

[–]tempintheeastbayEndorsed Contributor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

GREAT post. To elaborate on your "childlike enjoyment" point: children are simple to please. Picture a woman who, after a fight, gracefully and happily accepts a hug and maybe a token of affection (candy, flowers, whatever). Contrast that with the stereotype of a hapless BF who's constantly saying, "what do you WANT??!" in the face of a woman who just can't be pleased.

[–]gloopgloop22 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They don't fight because of an age difference. This kind of issue is purely an inability to resolve or deescalate conflict- it's not age specific. There are plenty of successful marriages with huge age differences. Just look at Dick Van Dyke and Arlene Silver- they're having a blast.

[–]VigilantRedRoosterModerator 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Excellent post, this is also what I was striving toward with my comment in the Gravitas thread last week.

Positive, child-like attributes can be perceived as positive and healthy feminine qualities. Childish behavior is almost always perceived as negative, annoying, and dysfunctional in an adult relationship.

Amazing how many nowadays conflate childish with Grrl-power or other tactics to spin it into a positive.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My man loves that I am still an honest sweetheart, not jaded by the world, that I make silly jokes and giggle, that I crush on him like a teenager, finding new ways to make him happy with little things. These are feminine qualities, not just childlike, but innocent and fun. It shows you are relaxed in his company. And that alone gives your man confidence and pleasure.

[–]Hollyburn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like others, I don't think the age gap is all that relevant. There are women in my family in their 30's who are willfully irresponsible because the consequences have never been disastrous enough for them to change their ways. By the way, I think there's something deeper going on with your boyfriend's friend's wife than an immature failure to plan ahead.

Your description of "childlike" makes me think of innocence, which is related to the optimism that you mention. Somebody else also mentioned not being jaded. Being innocent (by a combination of circumstance and will) keeps my life simple and keeps me sane.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's what I thought too after reading this. D/LG - no thanks.

[–]ClaireBear89 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That's an insulting generalization

[–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Totally true! I've been told I am quite childlike in some aspects, a more womanly aspect though before I had been cautious that I seemed childish (it doesn't help that I have a baby face). Though now I have a better idea of myself and realise that there is a difference and my womanly childlike qualities can be charming, or so I'm told!

[–]Boobear3 2 points3 points  (2 children)

A lot of women completely lose this quality as they get older (or maybe never had it) and I think it's a reason men lose interest. A lot of men like women who can goof off with them and just have fun.

[–]vanBeethovenLudwigEndorsed Contributor[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A lot of men like women who can goof off with them and just have fun.

I agree, and that's why intelligence matters to a certain extent - a woman is a much more enjoyable companion for a man if she can partake in witty banter or tease each other on the same level. It keeps the relationship fresh. Which is why physical appearance can only go so far, a woman's brains and social intelligence will pay off in a more fulfilling relationship.

Intelligence on the academic level may not be as attractive because it's more serious. Men tend to enjoy their fun in life too.

[–]ThatStepfordGalEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is very true! My family is quite like that so I really think it has stuck with me and my SO and I can be both goofs, I just love it.