[FIELD REPORT]UPDATE: Friends HATE the changes I've made to my life (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by considerfly

Hey guys,

A couple of weeks ago I made a thread about some friends I made back in university. These friends would make snide comments about the Red Pill changes I was making to my life style, calling me a Stepford Wife, telling me I was too young to be tied down to this lifestyle, etc.

I got a lot of really good advice, and I decided to sever these relationships. Because I had been friends with these women for a few years, I decided I owed it to them to give them some sort of closure and explain that we were 'over' as friends instead of just refusing to answer texts/disappearing off the face of the Earth.

As a side note: Some people were wondering what changes I've made/if their concern was justified. The changes I've made have been cooking more, spending more time on hair/make up, losing weight, having more sex with my fiance and not allowing myself to use my disability as an excuse, and just generally trying to be a better partner in general. I was not doing anything drastic or dangerous, so their comments were hurtful and unwarranted.

Anyways, I sat down with them and explained the issue - they were saying things that were cruel and disrespectful, and we no longer lived the same kind of life.

They spat back a lot of anger, a lot of hatred, and I think some of it was long-term simmering resentment that had been building up behind my back. I'm not surprised, I'm working as a full time writer/artist and they're all struggling through grad school, I'm getting married in 10 months and they're sleeping around and crying about guys who don't call. They felt left behind, and it's a shame they couldn't handle it as adults.

Anyways, my fiance and I have been going to some Meetup events and branching out. Our relationship feels healthier because I cut that negative influence out of my life and I refused to tolerate any more disrespect against my future husband.

Thanks again for all of your advice and kind words - much appreciated. Here's to the future!

[–]sugarcrushEndorsed Contributor 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Good for you! I hope you guys find some good non toxic friends to hang out with.

[–]reedrichardsstretch 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Good riddance to bad rubbish. Your friends have been brainwashed and you don't need their bad influence limiting your happiness.

cooking more

What's wrong with cooking if you want to? Is a guy that cooks a lot to be criticized as well?

spending more time on hair/make up

Again, why is this wrong? Unless you spend hours and hours a day and obsessed over it, what's the harm? I'm sure some of your formers friends spend more time than you, hypocrites.

losing weight

Jealousy is a toxic emotion. Losing weight is great for ones health. As long as you're doing it the right way through exercise and diet, this can only be a positive in your life. A true friend would be happy with you, not trying to keep you down.

having more sex with my fiance

Do your former friends not like sex? It's not like you're having sex with random strangers. It's with your fiance. Who are these people you used to be friends with?

not allowing myself to use my disability as an excuse

A great attitude! Any sane person would support you in this. Your former friends don't sound sane.

generally trying to be a better partner in general

What do you mean, out of curiosity?

Regardless, keep it up! You sounds happier, your relationship seems healthier, and don't let the haters get you down!

[–]considerfly[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

In terms of trying to be a better partner... My fiance and I have been together for over 7 years, and so I had fallen into some really selfish patterns. Doing stuff like asking him to grab me a drink instead of just doing it myself, getting sulky if he went out with his friends instead of hanging out with me, lots of little petty things that really added up. They were harmful because it was a clear pattern that I put myself as #1 and him as #2. I'm correcting those issues now and putting him first

[–]TempestTcup 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's difficult at first to remember to do so, at least it was for me. Sometimes I fall back into my old patterns, but I just try harder the next time.

By putting my husband first, I have gained so much happiness and so much satisfaction. It truly makes me happy to make him happy. It sounds sappy, but it's true.

[–]TonyDAbsolute 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You have to do what makes you happy. That's SELF improvement. I ditched almost all of my old friends when I discovered the pua community. I'm much happier now. Used to be so depressed.

[–]IllimitableMan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuck the haters, they'll be on Plenty of Fish whilst you have a happy marriage. :)

[–]angeliswastaken 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I applaud you for this decision. If your friends cannot support healthy changes in your lifestyle, then you have outgrown that friendship. That negative energy is draining to you and your relationship. Good for you

[–]suchagirl2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Here, here to all you stated. I too slowly melted away from certain friends in my life, but I did it in a subtle quiet way. It's what worked for me. I stay in touch with two, who are red pill ladies in training, but on a low key basis. This was a personal choice as I already knew the other hardcore, undercover feminists were going to be in judgement and I chose not to receive it. I miss some of the interaction with them, but in this modern world of technology, I am getting more filled up interacting with all you ladies who speak my language. I love how the newer me makes me feel. It has had deep, wonderful affects on my relationship that I never thought possible.

[–]crankypants15 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good for you! They were angry because your acceptance of a healthy relationship is a threat to their preconceived notions of what a relationship should be.

[–]beencounter 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Good for you! This is awesome!

[–]MrsStrom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on being called a Stepford Wife! You should take that as a compliment! :D

[–]DesiAntiFeminist 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The most immediate effect of taking redpill action is a drastic reduction of stress in your life, and an accompanying increase in the quality of your life.

Good work.