Hey Ladies! Please forgive me in advance for not knowing all the acronyms. I'm new to TRP, even though I love the traditional relationship dynamics - I realised I haven't been behaving in a way that reflects that.
So recently I've been seriously trying to work on my relationship of 2 years, with a wonderful man. The first year was great, and the second was a disaster to be quite honest. We both had our own personal problems and this led to a really crappy cycle of us treating eachother badly and there was not much peace left in the relationship, constant fighting, an almost DB and feeling pretty hopeless.
I really did think it was ALL HIM. And that I was simply reacting to his bad treatment of me. how far my head was up my own ass I couldn't tell you.
I thought that being rude and aggressive towards him would 'make him see' that I needed him to treat me well. I thought that rejecting his advances towards me would 'make him try harder' for me. Sadly, this list could go on and on. I'm a huge asshole and I had no idea just how much (and how deeply) I was hurting him. Didn't realise I was damaging his pride and damaging the love he had for me. I was pushing him away, whilst expecting him to love and adore me. How ridiculous!
So this is a (small) success story about how I realised I was being witch (with the help of TRP), and what I have done to change it and what results I have seen!
*I've become aware of my tone of voice when speaking to him! (I was snappy and short sometimes)
*I compliment him on his manly attributes often, which makes us both blush!
*I dress in a more feminine way when he is around. I take care of the little details, makeup, jewellery, nice nails etc. (instead of covering up all the time in boyish clothes)
*I randomly make him snacks/meals for work/home without him asking (we do not live together)
*I initiate sex more often, and I never reject him when he approaches me in that way.
*I ASK him for help and/or advice. And LET him help me. My 'fierce independence' was ridiculous and egotistical.
*I've taken an active interest in his interests, and I'm trying to get involved in them.
*I show him appreciation for the things he does and the man he is. For example telling him when I feel cared for/loved/looked after. Letting him know he is a good man to me.
*Behaving in a more feminine way, realising I do not need to compete with him or 'one up' him, ever. Actually being submissive.
*Respecting his authority, and his wishes.
There are more but I realise I am basically writing a novel at this point.
I have noticed he is treating me better, and is happier within himself. He feels more confident because I am not knocking him back all the time, and he wants to do things for me without being nagged. We have had some amazing sex, and some lovely long chats (which was a thing of the past!) He has told me he can see that I am trying to be better, and he in turn wants to be the best he can be for me. I really feel like I am building him up, instead of tearing him down.
He has shown me brief bits of tenderness over the last few weeks that have almost made me sob. He WANTS to take care of me and be my captain. I just wasn't letting him before.
He is softening towards me and I am so grateful that it wasn't too late. I am ashamed at who I was to him before, never again will I be that witch.
If you made it to this point thankyou for reading!! And thankyou for sharing so much great information and all your stories, they really do help! LONG LIVE TRP!