INSIGHTFUL8 things most women just don't do anymore (but should) (self.RedPillWomen)
submitted 3 years ago by Marriedwithkidz
Came across this on facebook of all places. I agree with all of it.
[–]gabilromariz 50 points51 points52 points 3 years ago (9 children)
The nice thing is when you start doing these things you'll notice your man stepping it up too (at least I did) like dressing up to come have dinner with my parents, opening doors for me and offering hand or foot massages when I'm looking tense.
So it's a two-way street, the more you do for him, the happier man you'll have, and happier men make better capitains and will care for you better too.
[–]Larry-Man 27 points28 points29 points 3 years ago (3 children)
I'm a lurker here, seeing as I'm not really a RPW (I'm a feminist, so sue me) but the truth in these words is something a lot of people in general forget.
I've been cooking for my SO lately and cleaning his house and taking care of his dog (his brother is in the hospital). He seems more relaxed and it's just nice to do nice things for your SO - if it's someone you love why would you not do nice gestures?
The thing is too, he does these things for me if I do them for him.
While I don't follow with the "Captain" analogy entirely (why I'm not a RPW) I absolutely agree with this statement otherwise. I swear I'm not horning in on your sub (this is for you ladies not some feminist who doesn't by the whole deal but really enjoys much of what you post) but I really resonated with your comment and was moved enough to gild you and say something.
Thank you from a frequent lurker but rarely-poster.
[–]gabilromariz 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (2 children)
You gilded me? Thank you so much!
Just a heads up, the "f-word" (lol) no longer means what it used to, because of people mis-using it and doing/saying awful things in the name of "feminism". I would advise you to describe your personal beliefs in a more accurate way than using an umbrella term that ranges from fairly reasonable people to bat-crazy misandrists.
Even if you don't agree with everything in here, I'm glad you managed to pick the things that do work for you and improve your life. No two homes are alike and I believe the main goal of RPW is for women to take action in making their homes as happy as possible
[–]Larry-Man 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (1 child)
I did gild you, you deserved it. And I'm comfortable using the "f-word" - I like what it means to me probably just the way "red pill" is perceived by some but means a lot to those who identify with the ideology. There's a lot of really great information and points of view out there and I just think that limiting yourself to one box, even if it's one you don't identify with is hazardous. I love the ladies at RPW - the posts truly brighten my day sometimes.
[–]gabilromariz 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Thanks :) im glad you think that way :)
[–]Marriedwithkidz[S] 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Yes, mine also is much happier and it shows!
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (2 children)
I learned something new today, thanks :)
[–]Not_Even_Interested 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Wow. I never realized there was a term for this.
[–]sterlinghtsmi 25 points26 points27 points 3 years ago (9 children)
As a man...if my SO did 4 out of 8 of these, we wouldn't be going through the divorce process. None of those 8 actions are demeaning and I would slay dragons for a woman who did those for me.
[–]Marriedwithkidz[S] 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (6 children)
Agreed plus it feels great to do something that makes your spouse happy and appreciative :)
[–]sterlinghtsmi 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (5 children)
My soon to be ex didn't get that memo. :(
[–]Marriedwithkidz[S] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (4 children)
Sucks for her. It's nice being able to do these things, it makes me feel accomplished. I am an artist in life so I love creating anything whether food or yarn or sewing, anything goes :)
[–]sterlinghtsmi 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (1 child)
Even though this may sound sexist...when women do women things for their man, it makes men want to do and be manly for their woman....at least that's how I feel.
[–]Marriedwithkidz[S] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children)
[–]sterlinghtsmi 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child)
Very unfortunate...she has Eorr Syndrome.
That had me lol
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children)
same situation here, but it took her walking away for me to realize these things. much happier now
[–]lovely1985 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children)
I'm sorry about your divorce. If you want to marry again hopefully that person will do some of these things for you. It's sad that many women see taking care of their SO, much like they would love to be treated, as demeaning. It so isn't.
[–]Kittenkajira 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (7 children)
I like it. I need to work on cleaning and not cursing. I've slacked on the cleaning lately. I mean, our house is presentable, but I think it could be much cleaner.
[–]Marriedwithkidz[S] 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (6 children)
I do all the cleaning, laundry in the morning and I start diner around 2:30- 3pm since hubby gets home with the oldest kids around 4pm every week day. We eat diner and then go down for a nap together so we have a great evening. We get up at 5:30 am every week days and around 7-8am during the weekend. We aren't getting any younger so naps are must lol
[–]Kittenkajira 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children)
Hehe. I nap too, but because I have narcolepsy! Lately most of my focus has been on working from home, and dieting and exercise. The three of those are taking up quite a bit of time! Although the boss just started exercising with me, so that's making it more bearable. It's great that you have a routine down. We've been living together for 2 years, and we're still working on the routine.
[–]Marriedwithkidz[S] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (2 children)
Ya we've been together over 22 yrs and coming up on the 22nd wedding anniversary. We know eachother very well and I love routines lol
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (1 child)
[–]Marriedwithkidz[S] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Thank you :)
[–]frozen_strawberryEndorsed Woman 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child)
haha i'm 22 and i need naps! sometimes i feel like kindergarteners are the only ones for whom naps are socially acceptable while they're also the only one who dont need them.
I had anemia for many many years and as a matter of fact is only starting to get better after 10 yrs. I use to not take naps but now i do every single day. My body needs it so be it :)
[–]BronzeRat 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (9 children)
I can never understand how people stop keeping themselves looking nice and stop dressing up for dates just because they're in an LTR. I'm more motivated because I know that during any off period, he will see me, I can't just say 'oh well, not going to try to attract anyone today'.
I'm working really hard on my language, but it's been very slow progress. I've come a long way but it's taken me two years to make noticeable progress, despite being able to change other attitudes/thought patterns quite quickly (I'm waaaaay moody and aggressive). SO doesn't swear at all so it seems extra bad when I do and I was raised not to use bad language so I don't know where I get it from.
Also, what does 'fix his plate' mean? (Sorry, I'm not American). I tried to Google this but found nothing useful. In the UK, if I 'fixed his plate', I'd be glueing back together after it had broken. I'm guessing it's either serve up his food (put it on his plate) or clear his plate (remove leftovers and rubbish after he's eaten).
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (3 children)
[–]BronzeRat 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Thank you :) I thought it might be that but wasn't sure.
[–]orchid620 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Well the saying is pretty food taste better!
[–]Marriedwithkidz[S] 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (4 children)
Fill his plate with food and serve it to him at the table :)
[–]Marriedwithkidz[S] 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (2 children)
I've had to practice cooking a lot. My mother didn't teach us any skills and she was a SAHM. Very frustrating for my sister and I. I am good at it now but I can't even tell you how many meals I ruined because I had no idea what I was doing lol
[–]spacelord777 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child)
Don't worry too much. My wife was the same and I had to teach her how to cook (I worked for years in a kitchen). Now she is an amazing cook! A lot of women have to play catch up (as do men who weren't taught how to fix things, etc.) As long as we get there, all is good.
[–]Marriedwithkidz[S] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Ya I read recipes on line and my husband helped me, he is an amazing cook. funny enough I was a sucktastic cook but an amazing baker lol
[–][deleted] 3 years ago* (3 children)
The only exercises I can do are pilates and walking because of a horrid back. I also eat healthy most of the time. I am 5'10 and around 148lbs and I've had 5 kids so I am ok but yes staying fit is important and something I've always done for myself.
[–]rpkarma 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (1 child)
Honesty eating right is all most women truly have to do. I'll take a slim, soft lady over a fat pudgy one any day, and most guys think the same. I appreciate a nice hard body on a girl as much as the next dude, but I find soft curves (real ones, not "MUH CUUUURVES" that fatties think they have; news flash: globes don't have curves, lol) on a slim girl super attractive. Which is why my girlfriend is so hot to me I guess, along with her amazing personality and feminine charm!
Oh ya I am slim and just right and hubby is glad I gained some weight lately because of the anemia I was super skinny, now I am just right lol
[–]spacelord777 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (3 children)
The list is pretty good, except for #5. A man shouldn't need validation or compliments for what he does. He should simply act according to his purpose and goals. A compliment for a man is fine, but the idea that real man "needs" these compliments is misguided.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (1 child)
Man here. It's true that a man does not need compliments for his actions. However, if I don't feel like my actions are appreciated, then I'm going to pursue my purpose and goals with someone else.
[–]spacelord777 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children)
That's a fair enough response.
[–]Marriedwithkidz[S] 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children)
No guys don't need compliments but it is flattering nevertheless when they are sincere.
[–]queenofbees 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Being kind and looking your best never goes out of style. I find that I get back what I give in spades.
[–]Pink_acetaminophen 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (16 children)
The comments are so good.
[–]BronzeRat 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (14 children)
All this talk of compromise and equal division of power and splitting all the household tasks up one by one. I tried this, it did not work. Most couples I know claim they do things this way but if you actually observe them, many have a far more traditional dynamic than they care to admit. The rest just fight all the time and have terrible relationships/home lives with no respect.
[–]Marriedwithkidz[S] 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (9 children)
We don't divise anything we work together and conquer lol I cook and clean all week with a few exceptions, he bakes bread during the weekend because he is really really good at it, kids do their parts as well. He cuts the grass in the summer, snowblows in the winter, rolls the trash to the curb and cuts the wood for the winter. We usually try and work together at nights when needs be ie: I wash he dries the dishes that are left over etc... that way we get to be done at the same time and relax, it's much nicer that way.
[–]BronzeRat 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (4 children)
This makes sense, jobs are divided generally and everyone just gets on and does what needs doing. I've seen so many unhappy couples fight over whose night it is to wash up the dishes and the fine details over who has done more on each specific day. Often, the woman starts claiming that the man is using male privilege because he isn't doing cleaning, despite the fact he's done gardening or fixed the computer or whatever. The word housework is used to refer only to tasks traditionally undertaken by women, and then people complain that women do all the housework. That's because they aren't counting the tasks that men usually do.
[–]Marriedwithkidz[S] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (3 children)
He works out of the home + everything else he does at home so keeping the house up on most stuff is fine with me. We're both beat by the times he comes home so diner and nap required and we both feel better after. Kids do their parts, they are old enough for that and what's left over we usually do together. Sometimes he does it on it's own sometimes I do, it's not about who did what it's about getting everything done to have a relaxing evening.
[–]BronzeRat 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (2 children)
I don't have kids yet, but I definitely think getting them to help out is a good idea. Not only is it a genuine help to the adults but it's only fair that they do their bit when they live in the house and it teaches them useful skills and a good attitude towards domestic work. I was always made to do my share growing up, when I went to university I was shocked and appalled at how many people had never washed clothes or used a hoover.
[–]frozen_strawberryEndorsed Woman 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children)
so much this. i live in an apartment complex that has washers and dryers on each floor so you have to share. there are so many people who just dont clean out their lint after their load is done in the dryer. and as you can imagine the dryer just first of all doesnt work as well after a while of people not doing it and one time i assume it almost caught on fire. at least it made really odd fire alarm-y sounds and my clothes all stank like i aired them over a camp fire.
there really should be home economics classes for everyone, not just women. because men generally have to take care of themselves at least for a couple of years between living at their parents and getting married (if at all).
My mother wouldn't let us do anything. I hated it. We have 5 kids and the 4 still at home all boys do their share. They live here they need to participate in everything. My boys know how to cook, clean, use the snowblower, the mower etc... they will be well equiped for when they are on their own.
[–]box_cutter_ 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (3 children)
How much more pleasant would marriages be if instead fighting over something like whose turn it is to vacuum couples just worked together. You vacuum, he moves the furniture for you. You get to see how sexy he looks when he moves heavy things, he gets to feel sexy, and you have a clean house. Everybody is happy! It's a maturity issue when couples can't problem solve and make life together fun.
[–]Marriedwithkidz[S] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (2 children)
He is vacuuming right now. I am working on my business (spinning yarn) and he baked bread this morning. I have been done with laundry since earlier this morning :)
[–]box_cutter_ 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child)
Tell him he looks sexy when he vacuums, lol. I guarantee you he will be happy for the rest of the weekend.
For sure! He is now making the spaghetti sauce! It's so yummy! Just finished working, I need to prep more fiber though. Looking forward to our movie night!
[–]ElKod 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (3 children)
I lived with a girl for two years and we would exchange the things we had to do so nobody was always doing one thing. We both did dishes if they had to be done, we both swept and we both did laundry..
I still can't understand grown men that would walk for an hour in the sun/snow to get laid but can't spend 10 minutes cleaning and then ask "why does it bother you?".......
Cleaning, cooking and taking care of yourself aren't man/women things.. They are adult things.
[–]m0llywobbles 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Cleaning, cooking and taking care of yourself aren't man/women things.. They are adult things.
It depends on other factors, though. My fiance works, so I take care of the house. No exceptions. He doesn't do laundry, cook, sweep, take care of dishes, etc. The only thing I ask him to do around the house is make sure all of his trash/dishes/snacks get taken out of the office and put away. Everything else is my jurisdiction.
[–]BronzeRat 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (1 child)
I agree that men should be able to take care of themselves and a household, including cleaning etc. However, I feel that men and women are different and generally suited to different tasks. I'm not saying there aren't exceptions, or that either sex should be unable to take care of themselves. In the couples that I know (which maybe aren't representative of all people) either the work is divided along reasonably traditional lines or the situation is a mess with lots of arguing over housework. Men in LTRs definitely should not be doing housework to get laid.
[–]ElKod 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Ok, maybe that came out wrong.. I wasn't trading sex for anything or advocating that. It was always a granted that I could ask for it and there wouldn't be an argument about it..
My point is that sometimes I had 3-4 days off in a week while she worked the regular 40-45 hours. I would take care of the things she would have done later so we could spend that time together instead.
I did love getting home from work to a full meal waiting, so I would do the same for her once in a while. I'm just pointing out lazy men that "don't know" how to sweep or do dishes or complain that cleaning is demeaning, so let a girl do it..
[–]Kittenkajira 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children)
Wow, I totally missed that! How did that nice article turn into a debate on oppression and the bible?
[–]evilhooker 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child)
I guess I feel like this article made me say "duh". This may sound bias because I happen to have an amazeballs relationship with my husband, but I find it odd that people think that just women should already be doing these things. You should do these things for EACH other. This article should be called "8 things both you and your SO should be doing to have a healthy relationship".
[–]rearended 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children)
I still need to work on keeping a clean home, cooking more, and anticipating his needs.
I do everything else on the list without thought. Like fixing his plate. When my parents lived with us for a while my moms husband would make comments like, "your mom never fixes my plate!". I could tell my man likes and i like doing it.
I like to dress up when were going out even if he just throws on a tshirt and jeans. I like to look good for my man.
I'm not really a curser. I think its pretty unnactractive myself. Sometimes it slips which is surprising for me and i feel ashamed after, unless im really fired up about something
Ive been trying to get into fitness for a while. Ive always had a small body but after 3 kids things are just..different. He's a butt man so i put extra emphasis on exercises that target my rear :]
This article is great!
[–]ButterfliesOnSunday -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (1 child)
I'm going to learn how to cook because I like to eat food, I'm going to learn how to clean because I live alone and no one else will do it for me, and I will "keep myself up" because I want everyone to see how sexy I actually feel. I will not do any of these because I am a woman...
Granted I love to spoil my man and give him the world whenever I can, I will do anything to ease his day and make him happy but that's because I love him and because he does the same for me. I take care of him in ways he can't and in my relationship that's definitely not by cooking.
I just feel like the article was phrased wrong. I also really hate people telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing.
I won't ever tell anyone what to do and everyone should feel free to do what they want of course but the article was right for me. My husband loves for me to cook and clean even though he is a much better cook then me for most things lol
[–]khous 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child)
I have to work on my cleaning and cursing too. Cursing is a little easier on normal days and since I'm working it gets easier to practice that. However cleaning is so haaard for me, since I always come back home tired. My mother who lives with me isn't working and is cleaning, but she is getting tired of that and wants a cleaning lady, I guess it's time to start working on my cleaning skills so I save some money, huh.
Once you get into a routine it gets easier. I get up at 6:15 am every morning, do the laundry, then get my coffee, do the kitchen, eat breakfast. I then work (home based business) and take little breaks here and there to fold laundry and empty the dishwasher. Work more, eat lunch and when I am done I take a wee break or start on diner depending on the time. Wait for hubby and the 2 oldest to get home, eat diner and nap then finish work if I am not done. Rinse and repeat the next day lol
Well of course we exist, plural and we are very happy chics if you must know :)