THEORYMisconceptions (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by [deleted]

So every so often there seems to be an influx of posts and comments that will walk the fine line of bashing TRP. This is happening once again and as a frequent poster and EC, I'm extremely tired of answering the same, unoriginal questions and defending the philosophy. I hope this post clears up questions some of you may have out there. If I missed any, feel free to add in the comments.

  • The Red Pill hates women, how could women support it? The Red Pill does not hate women. The Red Pill explains who we are as humans and as specific genders in general at our most base instincts. While some of the harsh truths may not be flattering to women, they aren't flattering to men either. If men were perfect there would be no need for TRP because men wouldn't be beta-ing out (read: failing) at life. TRP helps rehabilitate men and women alike, cut through all the crap the feminist agenda has been feeding us our whole lives and reconnect with our natural instincts and purposes.

    The men on TRP have a phase of anger that they go through when they “swallow the red pill”. Women typically have a guilt phase. We encourage women not to visit TRP because the men working through the anger phase obviously can be abrasive and offensive. They need a space to do that in. Let them be! Not every RP guy is like that, it just seems the norm because of the space you’re visiting; in reality it is a small percentage of the population.

  • TRP thinks women are below men Men and women are different and have different roles. Neither gender’s role is more important than the other and neither gender is better than the other. Men are just better at certain things than women are and women are better at certain things than men are. (IN GENERAL Obviously there are exceptions to everything!)

    That doesn’t mean women can’t hold jobs to be truly RPW or we can’t handle the finances or whatever. That actually has nothing to do with anything. It does seem to be somewhat normal that many RPW aspire to be homemakers but I believe that has to do with the fact that RPW aligns with traditional/conservative values/families and not because it is an RPW “rule” itself.

    No one ever said men were better than women. Yes, again, I’m well aware that there are some less than flattering posts about women on TRP. I’m sure some of the men over there do think they’re better but they’re the exception and not the rule.

  • RPW don’t want a RP man*

    This is another one of those phrases that gets repeated so much it loses its meaning. RPW do not want a guy that is a player. Some of the men at TRP use their RP skills to spin plates, some have decided to never marry, some have decided to just get laid as much as possible. That’s OK! That’s what they have decided to do with their sexual strategy. RPW do not want to do that. Instead we want to vet a long term partner. So when people say “RPW don’t wan a RP man” what they really mean to say is they don’t want the guys who spin plates and sleep around. But just as much as an RPW wouldn’t want an RP guy like that, the RP guy isn’t looking for an RPW - he’s looking for a ONS - something he won’t get from us! I was asked a few days ago how and why I would identify with a network where the men are people I wouldn’t date but that isn’t true. I just wouldn’t date one of those RP guys. There are a few regular posters here that give great advice and seem (albeit while just on the internet) like they would be solid relationship material. One of our own mods is a man and gasp! RP!!!!! But guess what, he’s admitted to being in relationships before. There are plenty of RP men who want relationships. Those are the RP men women want to date.

I believe the part that gets twisted in people’s minds is the “alpha” part. If a guy is too far alpha one way, he will only be looking out for himself and thus would not make a good long term partner. However even this belief is a generalization because there are some men who sit high on the alpha spectrum that are family men. So the simple answer to this particular “rule” and its exception is, vet your men, ladies.

  • RPW is all about how to improve for the man but what is the man doing to improve?

    That’s a great question. RPW can’t answer that for you though. The only person you have control over in this life is you. You have the power to change and RPW (or TRP) can help. The idea is that if you change enough for your SO, you may inspire change in them by motivating them to be better. Maybe that will work, maybe it won’t. There is always the chance that the guy you’re dating won’t step up and lead or won’t be motivated by your hard work to change or won’t do anything. Guess what? Leave him. He’s not captain material and your SMV/RMW is too high to be wasting your time with someone like that. It’s that simple.

    In conclusion, TRP and RPW work with the same theories but have many different goals and ways of reaching those goals. But that’s ok! You don’t have to use all the strategies and theories in your life. My RPW journey looks much different than any other user’s. That’s OK! We also have different goals in life and different beliefs. Not every RPW wants children or is a Christian. I am. That doesn’t mean the strategies haven’t improved our lives. Maybe there’s a guy at TRP who thinks women suck and are only good for sleeping with. That’s OK! I won’t be his friend and I certainly won’t sleep with him but he can do as he pleases. There’s also men over there that, as I said before, are in relationships. There’s a vast majority of people and ideas across TRP network. If there’s a particular train of thought, idea, theory or tenant you don’t like or don’t agree with, don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Just don’t use whatever you don’t agree with.

    I hope this has cleared up a few popular misconceptions for some users. I expect there to be debate in the comments and possibly even lively debate but can we please all be respectful of each other. You can be direct without being rude. I’ve noticed some people forgetting their manners and being excessively and unnecessarily aggressive lately and I for one have grown weary of it.


    Edited: formatting and clarity on key ideas

[–]vorverk 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Sidebar material. :)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you

[–]melonmagellan 14 points15 points  (6 children)

What about how women "age out," lose their SMV by 30 (thus becoming totally undesirable) and are only "riding the cock carousel" if they have multiple partners.

I find all of these assertions demotivating and gross, myself. Makes me feel like at 30 I'm destined to die alone even though I'm successful and attractive.

[–]loadedgunmakeoutsesh 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I personally believe that part of TRP's commonly and fervently stated assertions about female desirability waning with age (though obviously having incontestable, undeniable roots in truthiness) is just a generalized troll-judgement to make women seriously question their presumptions of their own value and believe what men, when honest about their true desires, actually believe a women's sole value is (a youthful and pretty face), especially when that value can be demonstratively shown to drastically ebb... Thus creating a atmosphere of validity to their implication that you are kidding yourself for thinking your purported value lies in anything besides delusions of grandeur about your very finite and very superficial sexual commodity.  

It's pretty obvious that TRP tend to get a thrill from knocking women off their pedestal, which is totally understandable considering how disposable and thoughtlessly they are treated in our current social climate of rabid, self aggrandizing feminism.  

Certainly, many women can and do age horribly and toss in the towel on the battle for hotness by 30, I've seen it alot. But many women age quite delightfully, and maintain a similar level of appearance well into their mid-40's (though past 45, even though it's fully possible to stay vibrant and attractive for even longer, you're not going to be able to trick anyone into thinking you're anything but squarely in middle age. Not that that has to be a bad thing.)  

Have you considered, besides the measureable qualities of youth, is that a 30+ aged woman is far more likely to have a strongly developed sense of identity and self-worth then a naïve young girl? Early 20-somethings are totally insecure, hyper self-critical messes, totally malleable in the right hands, as well have having tight little bodies to pant after, you know. Every hot early 20-something I have EVER met completely doubted their own attractiveness and was infinitely willing to put up with total bullshit from douchebag boyfriends because of it. What's not to love, for a group of guys who are so hurt by women that they make every effort and leap of reasoning they can to create a relationship situation they can feel safe controlling with explicable rules and explanations and emotional distance, to renew their sense of worth and protect themselves from being vulnerable and thus inevitably hurt?  

Don't take it to heart. Only emotionally damaged men want naïve young women they can manipulate into sexbot-like deniers of their own human value and agency. No matter what, emotionally balanced adult men who want valuable partners to raise children with are going to generally want those partners to be at least somewhat close to their own age. Sure, at 30, on paper you may not fit into the absolute top visual demographic of what makes men's eyeballs (and other parts) bulge, and any man who has gone along a healthy path of emotional development in life is still generally going to aim for a woman who is younger then him, but let's be real. When you are 30, a 36 year old guy is generally going to feel like he really lucked out hard in snagging you.

The whole "cock carousel" thing is unfortunate from all sides, both in its shitty existence and it's shitty judgement. The same issues that lead early 20-somethings to put up with douchebags, is the same phenomenon which tends to land them on the good ole CC. It's hard to protect something you have no idea how to believe has value from men you are told by society are completely untrustworthy no matter what, anyway. But lots of young women have to deal with that grueling process of self-discovery and the CC is a miserable side-effect of the process. But in the end, the CC only has the meaning people make you believe it does. People deal with stuff the best they can understand with the tools they have been given, and however that pans out, that's how it pans out, and that's all there is to it.  

I hope this post brought you come comfort and gave you some things to think about, cuz I worked really hard on writing this because I wanted to make you feel better, friend. :)

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Definitely another generalization that has been overblown. Good one!

[–]lidlredridinghood 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yup.... definitely a overgeneralization. Just time to take matters into your own hands, and figure out a strategy for what you actually want on a long term basis.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think once falling in love starts to happen, to some degree, physical attraction is boosted. For example, there were guys in TRP talking about dating average looking women and their perception of them changing to sex goddesses after a relationship was established. But people also age differently depending on what you eat, eating in a smaller window of time, exercise, and whether you do drugs and what drugs. A lot of women who choose to smoke cigarettes rather than e-cigarettes, other non-tobacco alternatives, or quitting altogether, are going to damage their looks and the number of men available to date them, in my opinion.

I just started talking to a woman whose a year older than me, when she's texted me she just comes across as more feminine and non-antagonistic compared to younger women I've tried to date. The difference of not being made to feel on edge from social interaction is kind of surreal.

[–]holybad 0 points1 point  (1 child)

there will always be variation in what age someone's SMV tanks but we had to draw a line in the sand 'somewhere' so 30 was chosen.

Think of a scatter plot of ages specific women's SMV tanked and plot a trend line. that trend line is close to 30.

You may very well be rockin life in your thirties and hell maybe even your 40's but make no mistake. everyone's SMV tanks eventually.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It makes sense to think SMV correlates with fertility since men are biologically attracted to markings of fertility. Women tend to be very fertile in their teens and 20s and that diminishes in their 30s.

[–]Bigbooty1996 9 points10 points  (2 children)

That was very well explained!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Thank you, I'm relieved to hear that! I was a bit heated composing it and was worried it would come off as more of a rant than helpful.

[–]meh613 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Rule of thumb: short posts are more often rants, whereas long posts are generally more informative.

[–]palmettomom2609 7 points8 points  (3 children)

A great explanation! I wish I had this when I first started months ago! I just was too chicken to ask and figured I would learn on my own.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I just was too chicken to ask and figured I would learn on my own.

Haha! I suppose it's a common problem, perhaps even a reason why some people don't stick around, which is sad.

[–]palmettomom2609 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well I can easily see why since they both say red pill. Also I think some don't stick around because like the Matrix they aren't ready to actually confront reality. They are happy being a super special snowflake for now.

[–]TheBunk_TB 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I encourage you to ask if you are puzzled. You might get an inconvenient answer but it often will be logical instead of a dead end emotional feel good answer. Some of us try to help.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Fantastic post! What first attracted me to RPW was that it was all about personal responsibility and self-improvement.

I also think it's funny how people get so up in arms about RPW and TRP. To those who do I have a question: do you agree with every single user and every single post on every reddit sub you are a part of? Yeah...that's what I thought.

Most RPW info has helped me improve my relationship immensely, some of it doesn't apply to me, and I think a small percentage of it is flawed/incorrect. It's not like we all take some blood oath to uphold what every single user of TRP and RPW espouses.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

do you agree with every single user and every single post on every reddit sub you are a part of? Yeah...that's what I thought.


Most RPW info has helped me improve my relationship immensely,

100% agree. If there's some part that you don't care for, don't use it. Women get offended by AWALT - so don't think about it. Men can think AWALT if they want and you can't stop them. That doesn't mean the other stuff isn't spot on and helpful.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love this description!

[–]RedPillWonder 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Nicely done, Sadie!

[–]RedPillWonder 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I'd add that the post title could be better.

When I first clicked on it, I wasn't sure if I was going to read about misconceptions in a specific relationship, and someone asking for advice in their situation or something else.

I don't always catch the "Discussions" or "Theory" or "Advice" categories that's listed to the left of posts, and the headline/title is what I often focus on. "Red Pill Theory Misconceptions" or "Misconceptions about Red Pill Theory" might work better.

Or adding "common" or "recent" might have worked better, such as

"4 Recent Misconceptions about Red Pill Theory" or

"Common Misconceptions about Red Pill Theory"

Getting people to think, wait, what's going on recently? Or 4 common misconceptions, if they're common, I wonder if I'm making one of them, then?

And so on...

Hope this helps.

And again, really good post, thank you!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see what you're saying. I wish I could edit the title. Thanks for your feedback!

[–]Nyquil-Junkie 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Maybe "pink pill" would end the confusion.....

[–]JackGetsItEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Possibly but it may also cause more confusion. The heart of the term 'redpill' is that most of society refuses to believe the true dynamics behind male and female mating strategies and biological imperatives. This applies to both sexes. The redpill is the choice to accept harsh truths and this applies to females as well.

[–]Nyquil-Junkie 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yeah but pinkpill would separate it from the TRP stigma.

[–]JackGetsItEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Again; I'm in agreement here and just playing devils advocate/ socratic.

Is the goal to have more subscribers or to stay faithful to a core message and avoid mission creep?

I'd think that a name change might also bring in women that have no desire to embrace the sexual market place dynamics or the submission and first mate mentality taught here.

[–]Bamfmaiden 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yup, saying TRP hates women is like saying evolution hates women. Hey, what we're doing here is just reality checking ourselves and our potential mates.

[–]WalkingWikipedia 3 points4 points  (5 children)

I agree with everything you wrote. However, I hate seeing politics and political words used in Red Pill subs. It takes away from the point. Instead of "liberal feminist", just say "feminist". All liberals aren't feminists and all feminists aren't liberals.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Do you know I actually thought this exact thing as I wrote it?! I agree with you, I think I'll edit it.

[–]JackGetsItEndorsed Contributor 3 points4 points  (3 children)

All liberals aren't feminists and all feminists aren't liberals

I agree with you but they are certainly very rare or very quiet. I think the problem lies with the vast majority of women don't really think of feminism beyond the second wave push of equal access to jobs and pay. Most male and female 'feminists' are supporting and not realizing the positions of the more vocal and more politically influential radicals.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I agree with you but I don't want to alienate ppl based on their political views, no matter how misguided (kidding!)

[–]JackGetsItEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Hey. Great post by the way. Hopefully it makes it to the sidebar.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great post! Thank you for writing it.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)


[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you

[–][deleted]  (1 child)


    [–]LuckyLittleStarModerator | Lil'Star[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Removed duplicate post

    [–]Zeus_Ammon 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    The way I think of it is this. maybe it will help someone else too:

    Just because we agree that all creatures must follow the same laws of nature does not mean it is useful in anyway for tigers and alligators to share hunting strategies.

    TRP and RPW are like that. they agree on the "laws of nature", so to speak, but RPW is NOT a restatement of TRP. they advocate different actions because because men and women have different winning strategies for relationships. just as tigers and alligators have different winning strategies for how they hunt.

    EDIT: In other words, you are here because you think the link in the sidebar titled "axioms of RPW" makes sense and not because you agree with everything on TRP

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Well put

    [–]Daeioude 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I’m well aware that there are some less than flattering posts about women on TRP. I’m sure some of the men over there do think they’re better but they’re the exception and not the rule.

    I think that last sentence is inaccurate in that while not everyone thinks like that and while even most of them don't think like that, there is an obvious trend and correlation with the RP philosophy and that line of thinking. It's not an exception to the rule, it's a rather expected outcome really.

    Edit: to clarify, the "rule" while not expliciting endorsing the objectification of women, definitely aligns with that line of reasoning (as it seems RPers just objectify both genders). So misogynistic views aren't out of the realm of possible outcomes with that line of reasoning, it falls within the lines of the "rule". And that's because there is a real underlying patriarchal influence that will always be at play, at least for those individuals that choose to hold that shallow misogynistic object view of women. So you may say "they don't see the whole picture" but I would counter that's because (our male dominated) society has led us to believe that if we go by shallow objectification terms of gender, then yes slut-shaming and the like are totally acceptable views of women. This philosophy (while perhaps having value, especially the women only subreddit) really just coddles and justifies a dated patriarchal mindset, imo.

    I'm a dude btw, I've just been going down the rabbit hole of the red pill as a comment in a totally unrelated thread sparked my curiosity.

    [–]heybebo22 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I'm new to TRP and RPW and this has pretty much cleared everything up for me. Thank you for posting.