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[FIELD REPORT]Hi RPW, long time lurker, first time poster(long), field report about the effects of my behavior changes since finding the RPW. (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by -peppermintEndorsed Woman

I have to admit, the feminist and modern dating advice I've gotten from seemingly everywhere is terrible, it never worked, unless heartache is your goal. The advice I've gotten from here is beyond valuable though, I genuinely feel happier in my life and my relationship and I credit it to RPW. Cultivating a feminine frame a mind has made my man more rabid for me than ever. I was always sort of confused about how RPW establish a C/FM dynamic but once I started implementing the advice here, it established itself quite quickly. I realized that for the length of my relationship I'd been pushy, bitchy, and annoying and that the reason we were fighting so much was because of ME and my entitled mentality.

Quick background on my guy. He's 3.5 yrs older than me, I'm 25, he recently got out of the military after serving for ten years. He's very much a good man, a natural leader, strong, tall, intelligent, pretty much alpha. which I love. But I honestly was at first kind of intimidated by, because it went against all the leftist indoctrination I'd be force fed from university, culture, etc.

About four months ago I found RPW and made changes immediately. Some of the first things I did after reading RPW:

  • Started going to sleep one hour earlier to ensure I could get 8 hours of sleep.

  • Waking up early enough to where I could make myself look good(and by extension feel good!) and start making breakfast for my man and I

  • Instead of telling my guy what I want to do, I started asking him "I really want to know what you want, love, what do you want to do?" This was from advice I found here, because I had been pushy it seemed he started second guessing his instincts to lead...

  • No nagging, at all, ESPECIALLY before he goes to work, no fighting about the unimportant stuff with the idea that as I fix these behaviors the bigger issues will work themselves out

  • Made sure that before my SO gets home I've made our bed, had dinner ready, and the house was cleaned, just so that when we're together we can relax and that this would also stop the bigger fights from bubbling up.

  • In an effort to save money, I began packing all of our lunches, and writing little love notes with super girly bubbly writing just so my guy will feel loved

The results

Getting 8 hours of sleep has made me sexier. It's not in my head, I took pictures of before/after, I noticed that my skin has more radiance, it has a youthful glow and flush to it, and my laugh lines are almost invisible, late nights and little sleep really DOES take it's toll. It's also made me incredibly more relaxed throughout that day, and I feel like it just helped me be more stable between emotional peaks.

When I started making breakfast for my guy he was a little confused, mostly because he was used to waking up by himself and eating cereal, but he's come to love me waking up with him. I notice that he's so much happier when he goes off to work because of this little change and that he can't help but tackle me when he gets home. It's taken stress off of both of us. It lets him sort of relax and wake up in the morning time while I fix us something to eat, he even will do sweet little things like embracing me while I'm working, or making us tea.

With packing his lunches, it was something I could do in between fixing breakfast, and after cleaning up dinner the night before. I've been writing him small notes and packing homemade baked goods for him in his lunch, for the first month or so it was pretty normal, it didn't seem to make a huge difference, but months after the fact he proudly will come home now and talk about how his co-workers make comments about how he should "marry that girl", and that his friends at his office are envious that he has great food to eat. Sometimes I'll pack him extra stuff and he gives that to the people around him and they rave on my baking ability! This has had such a huge effect on our relationship that I can't believe I never did it, he seems really proud to be with me, if that makes any sense. The added bonus to this is the money we've saved... Ladies, we've saved SO MUCH by doing this, that this has greatly reduced random financial stress as well. Lately I've noticed that he will randomly buy me little gifts and he isn't worried about money so much anymore.

When I say no nagging, I mean that I never ask him to help me clean up after he's worked all day, or I know he needs to relax. I notice instead that after a particularly great day, he'll just start helping me clean up after dinner unprovoked, I praise him and love him for this and as a result we are both happy. I've also made sure not to tout my efforts as something he should be grateful for, for example I don't say things like, "I worked so hard today to make this food; You're so lucky you have me, most guys would want a woman that takes care of them like this", I've seen women do this to their men before, and no one seems happy. I've noticed that I don't need to anyway, because it wasn't long before he will do it for me, he'll compliment my efforts and I just smile and kiss him and cuddle him and it makes us both happy.

By asking my man what he wants really helped establish the C/FM dynamic that I don't know how I ever lived without. I got this little piece of advice from here in a thread one day and started using it the day I found it. After a few weeks he began to just say what we were doing, and I would just go with it. I've noticed that when doing projects together, like assembling IKEA furniture, I just default to his ideas, and let him go. For some reason I never did this before, I guess because I didn't trust him? But I've discovered that by trusting him we are better off than ever. He seems to have SO MUCH more confidence and the ideas he comes up with and decisions he makes are really good for us, he seems accomplished and happy doing this, it's natural for him. Where before I was reluctant to give up that control of a situation he would second guess himself and then projects would turn into fights, by letting him make the calls he now will ASK me if he is unsure and request a suggestion, it's improved everything!!!! No more stupid fights about these things! Another thing is when giving my captain(I can call him that now!) a suggestion, it's always a suggestion, I'm sure to never tell him what to do, or undercut his decisions, but instead just contribute to them, and now we work completely together, it's for the best.

Sex. All of these little things have added up to one huge critical factor. My man is hungry for me. I feel desired like I never have before, it honestly feels like that since taking care of these things, it's cleared up so much free time for him to not worry about these silly household things and now that intensity has been directed at me... in a good way ;) I'm terrible at talking about sex, but basically, ohhh myyy goddd. Good stuff. :)


This is literally the longest post I've ever written, but I HOPE that maybe some other lurker out there will see this, I WANT the ladies here to critique me and give me more advice or tell me what I can to do ever better, and I have to say THANK YOU, RPW... Thank you.

I know that this man is the one who I want to spend the rest of my life with and the other day I glanced at him on his computer and noticed he had a tab on his computer that was titled "wedding proposals", if he proposes to me I will be the happiest lady ever. A month ago he randomly asked me about ring sizes... so. I need to stop rambling but yeah, it seems like the RPW philosophy does work because I'm happy, he's happy, and I'm finally getting the commitment and fulfilling relationship I've always wanted.

best to all❤︎


[–]StingrayVC 14 points15 points  (2 children)

~Tears~

So happy for you.

[–]-peppermintEndorsed Woman[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

thank youu : ) and thanks for reading my incredibly long post lol, It was so long proof reading it felt like work!

[–]BlackMilkwPinkNails 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to post it as well! It's always heart warming to see these success stories. It seems like you two really care for each other and I wish you nothing but the best!!!!

[–]blonde_locks 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is a hell of a FR. Thanks for taking the time to write it all out. I'm incredibly happy for you both.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (3 children)

I'm adding this to our sidebar's insightful field reports!

Thank you for taking the time to report back!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Added! :0)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yay!

[–]-peppermintEndorsed Woman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hey that's great! I'm happy I get to make a contribution : )

[–]MikeMangum 7 points8 points  (0 children)

because I had been pushy it seemed he started second guessing his instincts to lead

Someone can only lead those willing to follow. Allowing him to lead ties into...

He seems to have SO MUCH more confidence

There are few things that will build confidence in a man better than his woman implicitly showing that she trusts him and believes in his judgment and competence enough to follow his lead.

Ignoring the details of the things that you do, it essentially all boils down to: you make him feel like a man. I'm sure you can imagine how much he treasures that, since you can see the results in his behavior towards you.

[–]StingrayVC 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This made the front page of reddit. I hope we get a lot of readers of this one.

[–]praiseth3sun 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know y'all are out there, but damn, girls like this are hard to find.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

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[–][deleted]  (1 child)

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    [–]ColdEiric 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Almost every guy who has a girl like this one brags about her.

    [–]Meowdom 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    so happy for you! just wondering, how long have ya'll been dating?

    [–]MissImprovement 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I'm so happy for you! Thank you for sharing your amazing story! It really is an inspiration for me, and I am sure it is to others here who have just begun their journey on self-improvement and bettering their relationship as well. :) Thank you so much for the motivation, and congratulations! Let us know when he proposes! ;D

    [–]SuperSlavisWifeEndorsed Contributor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I'm so happy for you both! :D

    Well done, you're an inspiration.

    [–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    This made me feel really good inside while reading. Thanks for taking the time to write this out and be so informational about the different aspects that have improved. I hope you have a beautiful llife together :)

    [–]Jabadaba 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Bravo! I'm happy for you! :)

    [–]Bea_Noemi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Thank you for posting this and I'm so happy for you <3

    [–]WhimsicalWonderland 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    This is incredibly inspiring! I'm totally going to take your idea of waking up at the same time time and making breakfast/packing lunch everyday. So happy for you.

    [–]AerobusTRP MOD 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I'm glad to see that you have used RPW not only to better yourself, but to better the relationship with your partner, and in doing so better himself. Being labeled wife material, unlike being labeled husband material, is a very good thing. As long as you don't let the leftist nonsense that was shoved down your throat during your university years get to you, you will respect him and love him and enjoy life with him. If you keep it up, he'll probably marry you.

    [–][deleted]  (5 children)

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    [–][deleted]  (2 children)

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      [–]-peppermintEndorsed Woman[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Milk, bread(flour), eggs : )

      it's sounds cliche' but these ingredients are used everywhere. if you learn to use flour and how to make your own muffins, biscuits, pancakes, crêpes, breads, bagels, croissants(which is a laminated dough used in many things...) it takes breakfast to a new place.

      most of those listed things can be whipped up while bacon is sizzling, or the oven is pre-heating, some of them you can even freeze in large batches, and just lay them out to proof before going to sleep, ready to bake fresh in the morning!

      then you just add whatever you have laying around, if it's green onions, or tomatoes, maybe some fresh berries, or slices of fruits, you can make breakfast into a easy and memorable meal with a little right now effort and bit of prep from earlier in the week.

      if it sounds like too much, don't worry! just start with anything on that list and practice : )

      have fun!

      [–]bytesunfish 0 points1 point  (4 children)

      Wow.... Amazing story. Do you have a similarly enlightened sister?

      [–]-peppermintEndorsed Woman[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

      oh I wish I had a sister! growing up I spent lots of time with my father's parents(married 60 years) and when I first started reading RPW I noticed that this was basically everything my grandmother had done for my grandfather. So I just started copying her too, and doing things she would do from memories of family gatherings and holidays and day to day stuff.

      My grandparents to me are just a shining example of what I hope to have, she had three kids(two boys one girl) and the entire family is strong because of them and their example. I guess I'm really lucky I have that role model to aspire to.

      My friends make fun of me, but they are all lonely/single, so whatever : )

      [–]vintagegirlgame 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      This is the same way I feel about my grandparents! My grandmother is the perfect RPW example and I love talking to her about her little secrets. I have 2 younger sisters so I hope I can be a role model for them.

      [–]-peppermintEndorsed Woman[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      Yes! One thing I want to copy is, my grandmother can sew like no big deal. I sewed a button on a pair of jeans for my BF the other day, he was really busy and the button broke and he came to me like frown face jeans in one hand button in the other "please help" lol

      I managed to sew it on there, he said it worked famously, but I had no idea what I was doing. I really want to be able to hem shirts/pants for him and just make cute stuff.

      I remember whenever someone new in our family was born my grandmother would sew stockings and baby blankets for the babies. I just cherish my stocking and I've had it all my life, but it's like wow, that would be such a great thing to do.

      Of course the fear is that my ability to sew ends up being the groaned after thing you see in like movies where everyone is like "oh no, not mom's itchy scarfs again" haha

      [–]vintagegirlgame 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Was watching a movie with grandma and she was sitting there, darning grandpa's socks, it was so cute! I can't believe no one does that anymore, easier to just throw them out and buy a new pair. My man and I just sorted through a pile of his favorite clothes that need fixing and I've resolved that I can do myself it instead of taking it to a tailor. I know the basics of sewing but YouTube tutorials are the best way to learn things these days.

      [–]LittleMsRed 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I'm so happy for you!!!

      It really sounds like everything has pulled together for you guys. That is just so amazing.

      This post gave me some good ideas on how to further better myself. I'm just starting out on this path (it has been a struggle these past few days) but posts like this give me a glimpse at what life can be like and it just motivates me even more.

      Congratulations!!

      [–]-peppermintEndorsed Woman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      hey friend! thanks :) it's always a work in progress, I have to remind myself to do things too, I guess that's part of it... maybe like after twenty years of marriage I'll have it down haha