I have to admit, the feminist and modern dating advice I've gotten from seemingly everywhere is terrible, it never worked, unless heartache is your goal. The advice I've gotten from here is beyond valuable though, I genuinely feel happier in my life and my relationship and I credit it to RPW. Cultivating a feminine frame a mind has made my man more rabid for me than ever. I was always sort of confused about how RPW establish a C/FM dynamic but once I started implementing the advice here, it established itself quite quickly. I realized that for the length of my relationship I'd been pushy, bitchy, and annoying and that the reason we were fighting so much was because of ME and my entitled mentality.
Quick background on my guy. He's 3.5 yrs older than me, I'm 25, he recently got out of the military after serving for ten years. He's very much a good man, a natural leader, strong, tall, intelligent, pretty much alpha. which I love. But I honestly was at first kind of intimidated by, because it went against all the leftist indoctrination I'd be force fed from university, culture, etc.
About four months ago I found RPW and made changes immediately. Some of the first things I did after reading RPW:
Started going to sleep one hour earlier to ensure I could get 8 hours of sleep.
Waking up early enough to where I could make myself look good(and by extension feel good!) and start making breakfast for my man and I
Instead of telling my guy what I want to do, I started asking him "I really want to know what you want, love, what do you want to do?" This was from advice I found here, because I had been pushy it seemed he started second guessing his instincts to lead...
No nagging, at all, ESPECIALLY before he goes to work, no fighting about the unimportant stuff with the idea that as I fix these behaviors the bigger issues will work themselves out
Made sure that before my SO gets home I've made our bed, had dinner ready, and the house was cleaned, just so that when we're together we can relax and that this would also stop the bigger fights from bubbling up.
In an effort to save money, I began packing all of our lunches, and writing little love notes with super girly bubbly writing just so my guy will feel loved
Getting 8 hours of sleep has made me sexier. It's not in my head, I took pictures of before/after, I noticed that my skin has more radiance, it has a youthful glow and flush to it, and my laugh lines are almost invisible, late nights and little sleep really DOES take it's toll. It's also made me incredibly more relaxed throughout that day, and I feel like it just helped me be more stable between emotional peaks.
When I started making breakfast for my guy he was a little confused, mostly because he was used to waking up by himself and eating cereal, but he's come to love me waking up with him. I notice that he's so much happier when he goes off to work because of this little change and that he can't help but tackle me when he gets home. It's taken stress off of both of us. It lets him sort of relax and wake up in the morning time while I fix us something to eat, he even will do sweet little things like embracing me while I'm working, or making us tea.
With packing his lunches, it was something I could do in between fixing breakfast, and after cleaning up dinner the night before. I've been writing him small notes and packing homemade baked goods for him in his lunch, for the first month or so it was pretty normal, it didn't seem to make a huge difference, but months after the fact he proudly will come home now and talk about how his co-workers make comments about how he should "marry that girl", and that his friends at his office are envious that he has great food to eat. Sometimes I'll pack him extra stuff and he gives that to the people around him and they rave on my baking ability! This has had such a huge effect on our relationship that I can't believe I never did it, he seems really proud to be with me, if that makes any sense. The added bonus to this is the money we've saved... Ladies, we've saved SO MUCH by doing this, that this has greatly reduced random financial stress as well. Lately I've noticed that he will randomly buy me little gifts and he isn't worried about money so much anymore.
When I say no nagging, I mean that I never ask him to help me clean up after he's worked all day, or I know he needs to relax. I notice instead that after a particularly great day, he'll just start helping me clean up after dinner unprovoked, I praise him and love him for this and as a result we are both happy. I've also made sure not to tout my efforts as something he should be grateful for, for example I don't say things like, "I worked so hard today to make this food; You're so lucky you have me, most guys would want a woman that takes care of them like this", I've seen women do this to their men before, and no one seems happy. I've noticed that I don't need to anyway, because it wasn't long before he will do it for me, he'll compliment my efforts and I just smile and kiss him and cuddle him and it makes us both happy.
By asking my man what he wants really helped establish the C/FM dynamic that I don't know how I ever lived without. I got this little piece of advice from here in a thread one day and started using it the day I found it. After a few weeks he began to just say what we were doing, and I would just go with it. I've noticed that when doing projects together, like assembling IKEA furniture, I just default to his ideas, and let him go. For some reason I never did this before, I guess because I didn't trust him?
But I've discovered that by trusting him we are better off than ever. He seems to have SO MUCH more confidence and the ideas he comes up with and decisions he makes are really good for us, he seems accomplished and happy doing this, it's natural for him. Where before I was reluctant to give up that control of a situation he would second guess himself and then projects would turn into fights, by letting him make the calls he now will ASK me if he is unsure and request a suggestion, it's improved everything!!!! No more stupid fights about these things! Another thing is when giving my captain(I can call him that now!) a suggestion, it's always a suggestion, I'm sure to never tell him what to do, or undercut his decisions, but instead just contribute to them, and now we work completely together, it's for the best.
Sex. All of these little things have added up to one huge critical factor. My man is hungry for me. I feel desired like I never have before, it honestly feels like that since taking care of these things, it's cleared up so much free time for him to not worry about these silly household things and now that intensity has been directed at me... in a good way ;) I'm terrible at talking about sex, but basically, ohhh myyy goddd. Good stuff. :)
This is literally the longest post I've ever written, but I HOPE that maybe some other lurker out there will see this, I WANT the ladies here to critique me and give me more advice or tell me what I can to do ever better, and I have to say THANK YOU, RPW... Thank you.
I know that this man is the one who I want to spend the rest of my life with and the other day I glanced at him on his computer and noticed he had a tab on his computer that was titled "wedding proposals", if he proposes to me I will be the happiest lady ever. A month ago he randomly asked me about ring sizes... so. I need to stop rambling but yeah, it seems like the RPW philosophy does work because I'm happy, he's happy, and I'm finally getting the commitment and fulfilling relationship I've always wanted.
best to all❤︎