FIELD REPORTI used to be an SJW (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by biohazardhoe

I went to a small high school a couple years ago (I’m 20 now). I’ve always been more of the quiet type, and I would do things the other girls did so that I can seem cool, such as watching all the TV shows everyone else talked about, etc. One of the things that a couple girls swore by was Tumblr. So in the summer between sophomore and junior year, I finally decided to download it myself.

At first it was really nice, especially for me at the time. I watched a lot of various TV shows and was in a lot of “fandoms”, so it was nice for me to find a community that shared my interests. But over time, the feminist ideals started seeping into my brain. I started thinking that genderfluid, etc. was not only valid but extremely common. I started thinking I was bisexual. I specifically remember thinking that I wish I weren’t white, because I’m not enough of a “victim.”

There are so many problems that this caused in my life. I was sleeping later. I began thinking it was cool and okay to stay in my room all day long instead of talking to my family. I also generated a huge rift between my parents and me, because they were rather traditional and I didn’t want to hear about it. Every time they wanted me to question these SJW ideals, I saw it as a personal attack and refused to listen to their case. And I was always stressed about not fitting in with the tumblr types because I was just a white woman. Everyone else was genderfluid, pansexual and whatever else, and I was worried that I didn’t have enough “labels” that would make me more of a victim.

4 years later, I’ve been brought back to earth. My parents massively helped me get through that time, and showed me that the Tumblr ideologies are not always true. They introduced me to The Red Pill about a year ago, and eventually a couple weeks ago I decided to check out this sub. I feel content in being a white woman now. My relationship with my parents is a lot better, and I tell them almost everything. I’m allowing myself to be feminine and getting better at taking care of myself. In general, I’m a lot happier.

I wanted to share this story to remind us that r/RedPillWomen doesn’t just help us get an Alpha man. It allows us to be our feminine selves without hesitation. It allows us to really work on ourselves without making excuses. It strengthens our relationships with the people around us, because we’re willing to put down our computers and leave our bedrooms. I’m glad I’ve found this sub, and I’m sure my life will continue to improve from here.

[–]Zeldafan1023 48 points49 points  (6 children)

Great reminder that we need to be vigilant and wise even in our most relaxed states like watching television. If we aren't careful, messages, ideals, and agendas of the programs will be allowed to redefine normal for us and seep into our subconscious minds. We can't let anything think for us, because the world will not hesitate to do so!

[–][deleted]  (3 children)


    [–]Zeldafan1023 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    You could try be open about how and when you noticed that it happened to you, and how you now have learned how to look out for that kind of thing. When I'm honest about things I've struggled with, I found that most people can relate.

    [–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Male questions belong on askTRP and we do not give third party advice.

    [–]worldwide69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    too late looks like zeldafan did it for me :)

    [–]blushdot1 Star 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    There is a short (2 minute) video from Jordan Peterson about this. Basically, when you watch television or read a book you are consuming patterns in art that were inspired by life and imitate it. So when progressives try to overrepresent minorities and obscure traditional and normal lifestyle patterns, they are trying to brainwash us.

    [–]cherryhearts 25 points26 points  (16 children)

    My bestfriend and I were drowning in the blue for a long time too before we swallowed our red pills 6-7 years ago. I think it's natural for people to lean towards such a "WE WELCOME EVERYONE" mentality without looking much further. Plus I'm alternative (I AM bisexual, but I don't ever want a female partner) and geeky and there is no lack of that in the far-liberal SJW community. Once you start figuring to what YOU want it doesn't take long before the entire thing unravels and you're just left thinking "dear god what was I". It was entirely normal to be that way where I'm from too (Toronto).

    I came here for the same reason you did - I wanted to be happier as ME with the things I know I value WITHOUT the SJW (a new kind of societal norm IMO) mentality. I direct women to this sub for THEMSELVES never for a man. Men are the bonus, men are the prize imo, however IM the player/winner of the game called LIFE. I've reconnected with myself, I feel like a real lady, I feel like I'm also a prize and I LOVE getting objective and filter-less advice from these women too. This place is a million times more supportive than the SJW world.

    I've been trickle-truthing my friends with redpilled ideals lately and it's interesting to see when they DO take to it and see how it's benefited them.

    Your parents sound like an ideal set of parents truly and they sound like they've raised a stellar lady.

    [–]shecantstayaway 29 points30 points  (10 children)

    a "WE WELCOME EVERYONE" mentality

    Isn't it funny how SJW's claim this, but anyone who goes against their values is immediately shut down? Problematic at best.

    [–]cherryhearts 19 points20 points  (8 children)

    The thickest kind of irony.

    [–]shecantstayaway 12 points13 points  (7 children)

    Until recently I was friends with a transgender SJW. My SO and I went out for dinner with him and his girlfriend, and over the course of the evening my SO made some comments that in hindsight I can see as potentially offensive (including a big truck/small penis joke -- standard "cis" stuff) and my SJW friend literally shut down and started acting like a child, huffing and puffing and eye rolling. I tried to explain that he's trying to be funny, it's a joke.... and his response was "well, I can see why a CIS MAN would think that's funny!" So I said, "He IS a cis man!"

    Why is it OK that the agenda of the SJW takes precedence over the reality of others? Not to mention, if a transgender "man" sees himself as a man, he needs to get comfortable with the reality of cis men as well. So frustrating.

    In another conversation I was explaining how the arrangement with my SO is that he owns the home we live in and makes more money than me, so I carry the majority of the household (traditionally feminine) chores and responsibilities -- cleaning, cooking, etc. My SJW friend was super bothered by this, and I found myself feeling defensive and upset trying to explain to him why this is OK. Now I realize that I don't have to defend our arrangement -- it works for us and the expectations are clear, so even though it could be seen as the "patriarchy" taking advantage of a woman, that isn't our reality. We get to decide what is right for us as a couple, SJ be damned in the context of our own home. GTFO....

    [–]cherryhearts 12 points13 points  (6 children)

    Man they love to play the victim. One of my bestfriends is trans, he literally has made the turck/dick joke before, you have to have a sense of humor or you're destined to be fragile and triggered, especially when you're trans. He has "The world is not mine to change" tattooed on his arm. He has been attacked in the LGBT community because he's too "cis-normative", which just blows my mind. He had lady parts and now he has new man parts, how is he getting excluded from the community?!?! I'll tell you why, it's simply because he's an average joe.

    It's like the people who are emotionally fragile who try to build a career around social media and then have a melt down when the haters flood in like they do for any influence. That person doesn't even sound like they want to be a regular guy, they want to be a special victim ~TrAnSgUy~.

    My co-worker said to me, "you know the difference between SJW's and normal people? A normal person may not like ice cream, so they just don't eat it, but an SJW who doesn't like ice cream will demand everyone else stops eating it." Basically sums them up. They've got a set-in-stone viewpoint and can't process beyond that. It's a shame, I hate knowing I wasted so much time, so closed minded.

    Like I said being from Toronto (the LA of Canada), when my friends found out that I wanted to be SAH they decided to tell me all the ways that makes me "whipped" a "victim of the patchiary" "losing your independance" like the fact that it's what I WANT TO DO, escapes them because I don't feel oppressed doing something hey view as oppressive. I just always go with the "This is MY choice." because they typically leave you alone if you're like "I'M A WOMAN AND THIS IS MY CHOICE" because that's how the cookie crumbles. They run off a script, truly.

    I can't even revert my thinking back to SJW if I wanted too. You're literally closing yourself off from so much - opinions, opportunities, relationships, DIVERSITY. smh.

    [–]shecantstayaway 5 points6 points  (5 children)

    OMG YES YES YES to all of this. ~TrAnSgUy~ is SO accurate. And the ice cream metaphor -- PREACH! How can anyone possibly be expected to know every little thing that may "trigger" (this term bugs me too) someone else, SJW or otherwise. It's extra frustrating because we're ON THE SAME SIDE, we have no problem with him being whatever gender he wants to be, live and let live. Brought a housewarming gift, drove over an hour each way to take them out to dinner, trying to maintain and grow the friendship. Yet he picked out one joke and a couple of words ("crack-baby" for example, to describe my SO's cousin who was literally born addicted to crack), got offended, and ruined the whole night and friendship.

    [–]homegirl93 3 points4 points  (4 children)


    I'm always disgusted by people who give activism and feminism a bad rep. Like chill, you guys, not everything is a personal attack.

    The "trigger" shit bugs me too. Especially considering that the origin of the term is related to PTSD. Having flashbacks to traumatic events isn't something to make light of.

    I'm definitely an LGBTQ+ ally, but it bothers me to no end when nonbinary people get all huffy if you use the wrong pronoun or address them as the wrong gender BEFORE THEY EVEN TELL YOU. How TF am I supposed to know that you wanna be called "shim" if you don't tell me?? 🙄🙄

    The ice cream metaphor reminded me of the way most of the vegans I know talk. Uuugh. Drives me nuts.

    [–]shecantstayaway 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    Yes. Not everything is a personal attack. We are all just doing the best we can.

    [–]LateralThinker133 Stars 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Not everything is a personal attack.

    Jimmy Carr (great comedian, highly recommend) likes to say that "Offense is taken, not given." You choose to be offended; no one has the power to change your mind or emotions for you.

    [–]shecantstayaway 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    And I agree. But there is this phrase that's popular with SJW's: "Intent vs. Impact"

    They say it as if that is the final word -- it wasn't what you meant, but how it was received. I'm sorry but I can't believe in a world where I am responsible for everyone's feelings about everything I say, or where anyone but me is responsible for my feelings and response. Especially when I am a well-meaning person who would honestly never say anything to offend or hurt someone on purpose. The world doesn't revolve around you, I don't care who you are, marginalized or not.

    [–]LateralThinker133 Stars 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others. SJWs are hypocrites all the way.

    Vox Day's book about them and his three rules are stupidly accurate on this.

    First rule: SJWs always lie.

    Why? Because they have to. Their ideology isn't based on facts, but feelings.

    [–]LateralThinker133 Stars 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I think it's natural for people to lean towards such a "WE WELCOME EVERYONE" mentality without looking much further.

    Actually, humans are tribal and we DON'T welcome strangers easily. US Liberalism pretends to be otherwise but they have institutionalized the practice of being tolerant except to haters, with haters being defined as anybody who doesn't agree with them in lockstep.

    there is no lack of that in the far-liberal SJW community.

    Funny thing - they want OVERrepresentation of minorities in their coalition. Like, every TV show must have gay characters, characters of color, etc. If they have just one person, they're a "token" and that's bad, too.

    News flash: 5% or less of the populace is gay. 13% is black. On a TV show with 10 main and supporting characters, if you have more than 1 black and more than 1 gay/bi/lesbian character, you're OVERrepresenting those minorities.

    Drives me crazy.

    I direct women to this sub for THEMSELVES never for a man.

    This is the only way to go. Better yourself. Don't do it for anybody else, do it for you. Which is ALSO anti-SJW, because their collectivism wants you to do EVERYTHING based upon how it affects others, not you. You're just one more cog in the feminist/Marxist/socialist machine that is modern US liberal progressivism.

    I've reconnected with myself, I feel like a real lady, I feel like I'm also a prize and I LOVE getting objective and filter-less advice from these women too. This place is a million times more supportive than the SJW world.

    Lies and delusions that don't reflect reality can never win in the long run and will never bring you true happiness. That's why this place endures. It's also why people come to RP from being SJWs, but rarely go the other direction.

    [–]cherryhearts 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Actually, humans are tribal and we DON'T welcome strangers easily. US Liberalism pretends to be otherwise but they have institutionalized the practice of being tolerant except to haters, with haters being defined as anybody who doesn't agree with them in lockstep.

    You're so entirely right. It's the opposite of natural. I think maybe what's natural about it is to follow the herd. Very lemming-esque though and as humans we have far more cognitive dissonance and should know better.

    Yeah the over-representation thing is brutal. Like our prime minister made the cabinet half women - why? "2016". Seriously, no other reason. It's not even fair representation because there are far more men in politics than women. The school in a city near me? They just gave every woman/woman-identifying person a $2000 raise so it'd be "equal". Um what? Or that they've added "+" to LGTB2Q+ because apparently Q for "Queer/Questioning" wasn't enough, had to make it more inclusive. And I say all this again, as a bi-sexual pro-gay, pro-trans, cis woman. (man just the fact that I have to even point that out shows how unkept and easily triggered the SJ community is).

    their collectivism wants you to do EVERYTHING based upon how it affects others, not you.

    Lies and delusions that don't reflect reality can never win in the long run and will never bring you true happiness. That's why this place endures. It's also why people come to RP from being SJWs, but rarely go the other direction.

    THIS RINGS SO INCREDIBLY TRUE. I have nothing to add, just, yes - praise.

    [–]BajaBlast90 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Plus I'm alternative (I AM bisexual, but I don't ever want a female partner) and geeky

    THANK YOU. I'm an ex-feminist but my style has an alternative edge and I'm into some geeky type stuff. I'm glad I'm not the only one...

    [–]cherryhearts 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Apparently there are a lot of us gals here! My best friend is the same way ☺️ it’s nice because we can follow all the things that make us happy after being redpilled. I’m happy with my alternative appearance while still getting to keep a traditional lifestyle. They always made it seem like because I’m alternative I also had to live that alternative lifestyle and it was conflicting!

    [–]BajaBlast90 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yes. I live for this! I was a little intimidated at first because I thought that being a redpilled female meant having the stereotypical "trad con" look. Not that there is anything wrong with either but I still like my septum piercing and dramatic makeup looks

    [–]subgirl182 17 points18 points  (1 child)

    Feminism almost destroyed my marriage and made me miserable. I can't believe how much happier I feel since having my eyes opened. I can't believe an ideology was changing who I was!

    [–]biohazardhoe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Glad your marriage is ok now, and that you’ve moved on from it!

    [–]RedDespair 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    I wish my parents introduced me to TRP

    [–]lensneko 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    My parents don't know about trp, but they've been teaching me red pill values since I was young. I'm glad that I'm not destined to be a lonely cat lady for the rest of my life.

    [–]wannabebaddie1 Star 13 points14 points  (2 children)

    For me, it wasn't Tumblr that turned me into an SJW but Twitter, which made it even more of an echo chamber because it wasn't just internet friends from all over the world but the people I actually interacted with at school, work, etc. I really thought all people had this mentality even though it was really only a few vocal individuals.

    I live in a pretty liberal area, which is good for me because that's how I align politically but I can't deny the negative consequences that SJW mentalities have had on me. The "movement" against slut-shaming made me think it was logical to dress extremely revealing "for myself and not for men," even though I mostly did it for attention from men and female friends. That's still not for myself, and eventually I realized how toxic it was to correlate confidence and self-worth with how sexy I needed to be perceived.

    I also never let men do anything for me and was quite cold to them in fear of being codependent or useless, only to feel lonely when that scared off all the prospective men in my life. I'm glad I moved past that!

    [–]cherryhearts 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    The slut-walk thing was a major moment for me too, I started dressing more covered after that. I think Lauren Southern made a video on it that just clicked. I was fully supportive of all that "YOU COULD WEAR NOTHING AND MEN SHOULDN'T LOOK" but it's like damn, nature has a way of working and no matter how many "walks" you go on, the world will always turn the same way.

    Also letting men do things for me felt liberating! I felt more powerful with that than I ever did doing it all myself.

    [–]shecantstayaway 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    Women have more power than the feminist movement wants to give us credit for. In many cases, we have the power to manipulate men into doing (almost) anything for us. That's a powerful thing we need to be careful with, but also a beautiful thing.

    [–]nuclear_coffee 10 points11 points  (2 children)

    That’s wonderful to read. I used to use Tumblr myself when I was younger but I hated how feminist and man-hating it was. Don’t take me wrong, I’m all about the independence and strength, but I don’t believe that you have to belittle and hate the men to be independent and strong.

    That’s definitely something I hated about Tumblr. I myself left it a couple years ago. Congrats that you found something that matches the true you!

    [–]biohazardhoe[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

    Thanks! Congrats on leaving tumblr yourself. It really is a toxic website and even if you go there without intention of being an SJW, it’s hard to avoid the culture.

    [–]LateralThinker133 Stars 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I just go there for the pictures. :P

    [–]shecantstayaway 14 points15 points  (10 children)

    Well said, I have a different/similar story. I did most of a masters degree at a SJ heavy university, and a lot of the rhetoric didn't sit well with me, especially the feminism and white privilege. I got tired of feeling bad about myself just because I am white and haven't "suffered" in the same way as marginalized people, and I got tired of trying to be fit into the SJ worldview of what it means to be Feminist. I quit the program, and am learning how to embrace my femininity in a relationship where I allow my SO to lead (sorry, the word "Captain" still feels icky to me for some reason).

    [–]homegirl93 9 points10 points  (2 children)

    While I totally agree that you shouldn't feel bad about yourself for being white, I do wanna say that white privilege is definitely real.

    I'm a (light skinned) black woman and my Fiancé is super white, blonde hair blue eyes white... I see it all the time. I get treated totally differently when I'm out by myself vs. out with him.

    I'm not mad about it or anything, and I don't want white people to feel bad about it. I just wish that more white people would recognize that white people and POC walk through the world in different ways.

    [–]shecantstayaway 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    Absolutely! Very real. And I've certainly become aware of my own WP and that's valuable!!

    [–]homegirl93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Why do you think I'm marrying a white man?? I want some of that shit 😂😂😂

    Kidding... Mostly. 😂😂

    [–]Xtinamina 3 points4 points  (6 children)

    I hate the term "Captain" too! It just seems way too overly cutesy in a bad way. I don't mind it when literally referring to "Captain/first mate dynamic" but when used to refer to one's SO or husband, it just bothers me.

    [–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl 5 points6 points  (5 children)

    Just a thought, if you dont like the term, dont use it. This started as a metaphor and some ladies picked up the term and ran with it. There is no reason that you have to use it on RPW. It is unofficial at best.

    Tag: u/shecantstayaway

    [–]Xtinamina 0 points1 point  (4 children)

    And I won't! I'm not going to try and stop anyone from using it either. Just expressing my opinion. :-) I suppose hate is a pretty strong word though.

    [–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Nah, some things you dislike bordering on hate and that's ok! I wanted to make the public point that it was by no means a requirement to call your man "Captain" since you were discussing it.

    No one should come in here and feel obligated to adopt jargon. Knowing the ideas is always better than knowing the lingo.

    [–]LateralThinker133 Stars 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Out of curiosity, what is it about the word Captain that you don't like? Captains are leaders, responsible, powerful, noble, guiding... I can't think of a realistic or common situation where a Captain is a bad thing (unless we're talking a Pirate captain...)

    [–]Xtinamina 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    It's not really the word itself or the meaning of it, it's just when it's used as a nickname. "My captain this, my captain that". Like I said, it seems too cutesy and kind of juvenile to me.

    I don't think I felt this way at first when I came upon this subreddit, but when 75% of the time a post starts out with "I'm having some issues with my Captain, he's perfect in every way and I trust him but he made me stop talking to my family and goes through my social media accounts while sitting around smoking weed all day. What can I do to make him happy?"

    Maybe reading all of those really watered down the word to me and gave it the image of only being used by naive, childish girls who want to feel like they are in a solid relationship. It makes me roll my eyes when I see the word Captain, because most of the time they are not. I feel like if you really have a great guy that is actually the captain in your relationship, you wouldn't have to throw around that word so much.

    Anyways, just my two cents.

    [–]LateralThinker133 Stars 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    No, it's cool, just wanted to see why you felt that way. I am very pro-military/involved so I have a rather positive view of the word, and just wondered where your animus came from. I can see why it would be annoying in your context.

    [–]knowledgelover94 5 points6 points  (3 children)

    Mmm thanks for sharing!

    Did your parents really show you TRP subreddit? haha

    [–]Irishminer93 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Probably not the sub, but the ideology.

    [–]biohazardhoe[S] 14 points15 points  (1 child)

    Yeah, they wanted me to read some books like The Rational Male and The Surrendered Wife, and just talked to me about the ideology in general. They’re not the most red pill people on the planet, but they just wanted me to learn about it.

    [–]Blackhawk24791 Star 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    You parents are cool, congrats!

    [–]MrsJoss 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Thanks for sharing this and I relate to this so much. I went through a phase like that and it just made me unhappy. I also got tired of feeling bad about everything (I am a white middle class homemaker with a large family) and perpetual whining.

    [–]LateralThinker133 Stars 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Congratulations. It's always nice to hear another cult survivor tell her story.

    [–]ragnarockette4 Stars 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    So I am very liberal (as is my husband) and for a long time I always felt like “oh, I must be the SJW’s the right is talking about.”

    Then I met this chick through a friend. I was joking about how messy my niece’s hair is, and how if I have a child I think they will rock a buzz cut until they ask for a different hairstyle, just for ease.

    She replied enthusiastically “yes! and then the child can choose it’s gender when it’s ready.”

    I realized that day that there are way, way deeper levels of SJW than me. 😆

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Did I read that right? Your parents actively showed you these subs??? Not just RP behaviors, but specifically these subs?!

    [–]lespetiteschoses 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Read the other responses, they showed her some books

    [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Ah, thanks.

    [–]blushdot1 Star 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I wasn't ever a SJW, but I was a lukewarm feminist. But when I look back, I think I was just trying to follow the ideal of "Treat others like you would like to be treated" and "be nice." For some reason, my feminism always rubbed other feminists the wrong way...

    Feminism doesn't treat others like it would like to be treated, and it isn't nice.