Every time we get a woman asking about our relationships, concerned that they might not be “equal enough”, we always give the same canned response, which amounts to “We have different responsibilities, but we are equally important.” This, however, is disingenuous.
It is almost as though we have bought into their line that equality is important, and that if things aren’t “equal”, then they must be bad and we must be oppressed. But, using the word “equal” makes no sense when talking about a red pill relationship. It’s not as though I can say “He makes more money than I do, but I wash the dishes, so everything is equal!” That’s not how it works, we can’t measure those things on the same scale. I have no idea how many washed dishes it takes to be equal to his extra hours at the office.
When claiming to be equal, we are focusing on the wrong things, whether our contributions to the relationship matches his. But, that’s not what’s important, what is important is that we are doing our best to make him happy. In a relationship, it is your responsibility to make sure to do everything in your power to make the other person happy, and if you picked a good captain, he will do the same for you.
In a way the type of equality we do have is that our obligation to make him happy is equally as important as his obligation to make us happy. We are the most important people in our partners’ lives and we have responsibility to make sure that we influence them in a positive way. Of course, since men and women are different, the things that involves are going to be different.
At the end of the day, I don’t wash the dishes because he makes more money than I do. I am not keeping score of whose duties are more important, who works the hardest, and who has done what for whom lately. I wash the dishes because it is one of the things I can do to fill his happiness bar, then he comes by and smacks me on the butt, because that’s one of the things that fills my happiness bar. It’s based on the principle that if you do things to make him happy, he’ll want to do things to make you happy, which in turn makes you want to do things to make him happy, and so on. It is a positive reinforcement cycle that encourages both parties to fill the other’s happiness bars.
That is what is important about you duties, not whether they are equally hard, equally time consuming, or even equally important, it’s whether you are going above and beyond to make him happy, even if at first it means doing more than him. No, that’s not equal, but so what? Someone has to be giving, and someone has to go first, if you want to have a positive relationship with your partner.