DISCUSSIONAvoid loving opportunistically (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by leviathanis

There's a fallacy spread in our culture that says that there's a prince charming for you somewhere, and while that may be true for some, the fallacy extends itself by saying that you won't be happy until you find him.

Love, in my view, is more of something you build that something you find. My man and I are not "perfect" for each other in many ways, but we have experiences from being together a long time that I'll never be able to replicate with someone else.

Love becomes mediocre at times. The honeymoon period ends, and you're left with the day-to-day drone of real life, with passion merely existing in the background. This is normal and healthy. There will be periods where you think you don't feel anything for him, because humans naturally become conditioned to sensory input over time, as well as emotional input, when it becomes a constant.

Long-term love becomes something you don't appreciate until it's gone. Monogamy can get boring, everyday, mediocre, but appreciate that you have that luxury. Appreciate that love is so abundant in your life that it becomes like breathing. Don't take your boredom for granted, the reason couples stay together so long is that they don't up and leave whenever things get mildly inconvenient.

Don't relentlessly search for something better, because chances are you'll never have what you do now. There is value in something you've built with someone over such a long period of time you begin to take it for granted. Instead, focus on ways you can get that spark back. Continue building that love by having new experiences together. Travel, go rock climbing, experiment in the kitchen, try a new sex position. Love is not worth losing over boredom or the possibility of "more" being out there.

[–]Pixie03103 Stars 32 points33 points  (1 child)

Appreciate that love is so abundant in your life that it becomes like breathing.


[–]marninak 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Love. Love. Love this.

[–]ta1901 12 points13 points  (0 children)

the fallacy extends itself by saying that you won't be happy until you find him.

Well put. Happiness does not come from someone else, it comes from inside you. Don't depend on someone else to make you truly happy, it won't work.

!Remindme 4 days

[–]lakeside_shewolf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I tend to have a problem because I may have read too much about "soulmates", "feeling imcomplete without each other", "always feel connected" and "I always miss him when he's not with me" when I was single. I probably read too much mushy-internet-stuff during those months.

But I really love my partner, he's a good man and I know that our goals and interests align. So thank you for your post today. That's really the way of thinking I used to have for years. I just somehow....lost it along the road.

[–]fosho_away 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Beautiful post. Thanks for the uplifting sentiment.

[–]marninak 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Wow. This is one of the best posts I’ve ever read. Needed this reminder.

[–]thatbadlarry 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is very very wise. Thank you for this post!

[–]bestsparkyalive 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God damn what a great post. Thanks for this.

[–]kd2912 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh boy, how I wish this girl I've been seeing for the past year had a similar train of thought...we could build beautiful, amazing things together.

I'm only 26, so fairly inexperienced, but my experience with relationships so far has taught me the same as what OP put into words.

[–]cynicalhousewife 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think there is a subset of our society that just cannot deal with the prospect of boredom or predictability for too long. I am noticing a trend of adults who are forever clinging to their youth and can't move on or see a future beyond it. I think this is where the problem lies. If they want to live like this, then it's up to them, but I can see that many of them are not happy, and are desperately looking for something more, but they ruin it because their endless need for novelty and excitement creates conflict.

[–]WhySoOverHeated 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is brilliant. Saved your whole post in my quote collection haha. Thanks so much!