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FIELD REPORTMy husband got our camper van stuck for two hours (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by leilavanora

My husband and I are on a year long honeymoon and currently on a month long road trip through Australia. We only have a 2WD van. On our second day we reached our campsite and the road was extremely sandy and rocky. I told him to just park and he insisted on driving further in - two minutes later we were stuck. Three men came with shovels to help dig us out for the next two hours. I tried helping with a soup ladle since we didn’t even have a shovel packed (pro tip: must pack shovel).

Instead of getting mad for the next 24 hours as I would usually do, I just went with it and learned a lot about getting a car out of a hole! Everyone was also in good spirits and happy to help us. I fed our camping neighbors corn on the cob when they took breaks from digging and when we finally got out hours later, we brought a bottle of wine and our dinner to our neighboring campers and had a blast eating and drinking together.

The next day my husband out of the blue mentioned at how he noticed I didn’t give him a million “I told you so’s” and how he appreciated it and thanked me. I honestly wasn’t even sure he noticed but happy he did!!! I figured he had already learned his lesson and it wouldn’t help for me to be aggro the entire time making him feel bad and it all worked out in the end!


[–]ContemporaryBelle 38 points39 points  (10 children)

Way to go! We had a similar situation in our dynamic recently. My fiance left his car door unlocked with the spare key to my car inside. We live in a safe suburb and he didn't think locking the door would be that important. Someone stole the spare out of his car and stole my car with it. I could have gotten mad or lectured or any other number of unpleasant things. Instead I tried to focus on being a soft place to land because he already knew he made a mistake. We handled things and the cops arrested the thieves. Responding to the situation calmly and kindly was impactful for our relationship. It made him value me even more and feel gratitude about having chosen me.

[–]ragnarockette4 Stars 12 points13 points  (8 children)

Wow you are amazing!

I am getting better at keeping my cool but my car is my baby. I don’t think I could do it if she was stolen.

[–]ContemporaryBelle 11 points12 points  (7 children)

The car wasn't the worst part for me. Inside was a Waterford crystal glass slipper that was an heirloom from my grandmother and a set of collectible books that my grandfather gave me. When I was a little girl I used to try and put the slipper on my foot when playing make believe. My grandfather taught me to count and to love reading with those books. It was a 60 book leather bound, gold trimmed set containing the works of all the major philosophers and theorists that influenced Western thinking. Buying a new car would have been easy. Replacing the sentimental value of those items can't be done. The cops still haven't found that stuff and I am keeping an eye on Ebay. I was devastated and cried a lot when it sunk in, but I was careful not to make it about being mad at him. I was mad at the jerk who took my car. I also didn't let my fiance see the full extent of how much it upset me. He saw me cry and comforted me for a bit, but I was up half the night processing it by myself. I didn't want to inadvertantly make him feel more guilty and create conflict. My grandparents pretty much raised me and aren't long for this world. I had planned to hold onto these possessions for decades in honor of them. Normally they wouldn't have been in my car but we were in the middle of the move. There were multiple boxes in my car but these are the only things that mattered because everything else can be bought again. I am kind of surprised that I kept it together so well but I am really glad I did.

[–]Hammocknapping 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I am 100% confident that if I did something similar to what your fiancé did (left a car unlocked and it was stolen or didn’t set our security systems and cameras and the house was broken into) that my husband would file for divorce the next day (or the same day if there was enough time haha).

[–]ContemporaryBelle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I don't think he would have done that if the tables were reversed. He would have been all new levels of frustrated with me though. 😂

[–]ragnarockette4 Stars 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh ya. One time I was doing an exercise video and this hutch we have fell over and nearly hit his most prized possession (a very expensive guitar from the 30’s). I am pretty sure we would not be married if that hutch had fallen 3 inches to the right!

[–]40516andahalf 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Why was all that stuff in your car instead at Home and locked up?

[–]ContemporaryBelle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See the above comment. We were in the middle of a move. Literally everything was boxed up between two cars, moving van, and the inside of the new place. It took me a couple days to figure exactly what all had been taken because we hadn't even started unpacking.

[–]FleetingWishEndorsed Contributor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if this helps, but try to remember, at the end of the day that's just "stuff". Stuff can be lost, stolen, broken, and destroyed. But what that stuff represented to you, the memories, that will be with you always.

[–]leilavanora[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg that’s crazy!!! That’s such an unfortunate string of events. I accidentally left my car door unlocked but in a super low crime city and it was parked inside a cal de sac. The next day my iPod and a bag of loose change were gone but that’s as worse as I’ve ever seen myself haha

[–]MentORPHEUSTRP Endorsed 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Avid camper, have spent countless hours digging out and raise you flipping the car onto its side while clowning around. Always carry a collapsible shovel for driving off-road. Sounds like an awesome honeymoon! Thanks for a great FR.

[–]eelyeel 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I love this. I’m new to this subreddit and just scrolling around but reading some stuff like this has been so eye-opening for me and in just ten minutes, I’ve been able to hardcore reflect on my behaviors in my relationship. This is fantastic and I’m so glad that this day went well for you despite the car trouble.

[–]leilavanora[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!!

It was really interesting for me too because at times I would think “how would he know he fucked up if I don’t get mad??” But of course he knew. And then I thought he wouldn’t notice if I didn’t say anything but of course he noticed and he thanked me the next day for being calm and collected! It’s nice to focus on the positive sometimes instead of only the negatives.

[–]excaliboor 4 points5 points  (1 child)

a year long honeymoon

How did you decide to make it a year long?

[–]MoDuReddit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's nice seeing your effort of being positive instead of negative, being rewarded with more positivity!

I'm sure that, at the time, it took some self-control, so good on you.

[–][deleted]  (2 children)

[removed]

[–]pearlsandstilettosModerator | Pearl[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be polite or be quiet.

[–]leilavanora[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oooo you must be fun at parties.