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**MOD NEWS**Male Participation on This Sub (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by [deleted]

Hey guys,

your participation is welcome on this sub, especially in helping us reinforce to women that what we say about how men think or feel is really true. this isn't a feminist sub, we love men and value your contributions, but we arent the BEST help for your PROBLEMS. we are best at helping women not be bitches anymore lol

That being said...

there's been an increasing number of men asking for our advice when they should be asking TRP.

women are exceptionially unable to advise men on how to deal with their women, even redpill women, they tend to err on the side of the women's feelings and even inadvertently slip into rooting for Team Woman. they get bogged down in the details and lose sight of the big picture. then the non-redpill advice from women starts piling in and since its "nicer" than the redpill advice, it validates the guy asking the question and he goes along his merry way continuing to do the wrong thing but feeling better about it

you need to talk to MEN, men will give you harsh truths and not coddle any bullshit from you. just the fact that you ask us shows you value the opinions and feelings of women too much which is likely the cause of a lot of your problems in your relationship from the outset

i'm not saying we are banning male questions, i'm saying...before you post your question ask yourself "am i posting this here in the hopes ill hear easier, nicer advice that doesn't mean i have to do hard things and not hurt my wife's feelers?"


[–]MrsStrom 83 points84 points  (56 children)

My only gripe with trp right now is that any man asking questions about a LTR hears "well getting married was your first mistake", and "downgrade your wife to a plate! " as knee jerk reactions. Generally, these guys want to know how to save the marriage, not nuke it.

[–][deleted]  (19 children)

[removed]

    [–]Agent_Elle 27 points28 points  (5 children)

    The only men who have the right to say "next" about a dude's wife are other married or divorced men. Punks who only care about plates have no right to give opinions on a commitment as strong as marriage (esp when kids are involved)

    I feel there is a need for a /r/redpillLTR or similar

    [–]CarlsPudding 14 points15 points  (2 children)

    That bugs the shit out of me too. Sometimes I feel like TRP is overrun with teenagers.

    [–]Agent_Elle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Only logical since teens make more use of the internet. The youngest generations know they can get answers to anything online. The sex talk (and anything to do with dating questions) have been replaced by Google.

    [–]Luke666808g -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    On the plus side, new ideas take root quickly in young minds, and we're gonna need red pill leaders rising to power in the future to avert the great decline.

    [–]swift-heart 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    /r/RedPill_Couples is run by an endorsed rpw, /u/Lady_Motido and is oriented towards ltr's/marriage. i think there are more married men posting on /r/asktrp as well although i don't read it too often.

    [–]LadyLumen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Agreed, Marriage/LTR game is different than PUA game.

    [–]BluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    This has been needed for a while. MMSL is the go to blog for Betas who want team woman to pile on him but what's a married Alpha supposed to do in this crazy world?

    [–]subcover 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Glad to hear someone else agrees with my opinion of MMSL. A bit white knightish if I remember, frankly I only stayed briefly and that was some time ago so I don't claim that my representation is accurate, only that I felt annoyed and went elsewhere.

    [–]garfield4317 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    You can always tag something as [Serious] in any subreddit, can't you?

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    yes but the mods are the ones who decide to honor that

    [–]Mrswhiskers -4 points-3 points  (5 children)

    Well, you know where they could go for that ;O)

    [–][deleted]  (3 children)

    [removed]

      [–]TempestTcup 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      Yes, she is in no position to give RP advice when she hasn't even tried to swallow the red pill herself. All of her posts here and elsewhere are complaining about her husband and talking about giving him ultimatums, which are the complete opposite of RP.

      [–]eatplaycrushEndorsed Contributor 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      No one even replies to her posts over there so I have a feeling many others feel the same towards her sub. She has less then 10 entries and two of her first entries were just Occam's LTR series (sorry if I spelled your name wrong!) which we reference here time to time AND it's over at TRP. I think TRP and RPW would work greatly for relationships just fine, but over at TRP there needs to be some type of break through. I have read many threads over there about LTR's and marriage that have not only said "divorce, next" etc, but I do agree that it's a smaller fraction.

      [–]Bbyybbbaby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Sorry I must have missed something. I don't quite understand why someone who pulls that sort of crap is on a subreddit such as this.

      [–]noblepaladin 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I feel that the main TRP reddit is becoming more and more over-represented by extremists and omegas. It is the natural way many communities evolve when they get big. For example, if you looking on r/personalfinance, you'll see way too many posts about being buried in six figures of debt. Or if you look in r/investing, you see way too many posts about investing in some tech fad with their $1000 in life savings. It is certainly not representative of what someone who is adept at personal finance or investing would be talking about. The thing is, the people at the extremes or the newbies are the ones who talk the most, and those posts will bury the higher quality stuff because experts are rare. The main TRP reddit has been experiencing this effect because it is growing bigger. Some of the most confident, active posters have comment histories that indicate that they are omega males, such as someone who is overweight, virgin, and recently dumped. They would reply to comments with absolute conviction telling other people "Don't marry, AWALT, she will take half of your money and then screw some thug and claim the baby is yours!". I think, because RPW is still pretty small, it has higher quality advice, though it may not be applicable to men all of the time.

      Personally, I think it is very possible to have a successful marriage provided that people screen their mates appropriately. Among the 10 people that I thought were most likely to succeed in high school (and I went to a high school that is ranked below average in my state), all of them have salaries that put them in the top 10% of the income bracket (they are engineers, doctors, bankers, etc). It is no surprise to me, or anybody else, because there are many characteristics in people that you can easily screen for that is highly indicative of their future behavior. The divorce rate may be around 50%, but the other half of marriages work out and it is not a random coin flip. For example, divorce rate among the upper-middle class is very low. If you narrow it down to stuff like low partner count, not a single mom, no criminal history, have good relations with parents, etc, you can easily get the divorce rate way down.

      The "AWALT" approach may be correct when you don't have any additional information, because the only thing you can tell about a woman is that she is part of "all women". But the moment you get extra information, you can't just ignore it and fail to apply Bayes' rule. Because if you do that, you can end up with conclusions like "You should never work out because on average, you will be fat anyways" or "Don't bother studying, because on average, you are not going to get into an Ivy League school anyways".

      [–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 10 points11 points  (3 children)

      Yeah, I think that's why a lot of men end up coming here. For any bit of good advice they get there's ten more people telling them to just throw away their marriage or LTR. It generally doesn't seem a very good place for men who value commitment, at least from my occasional lurking there and what I've heard from men expressing that same frustration.

      [–]aaron_the_just 6 points7 points  (2 children)

      LTRs/marriages are an acceptable lifestyle choice in TRP, but we won't sugarcoat the truth. Most men need to at least consider divorcing or being separated. Oftentimes part of their dysfunction is a refusal to consider it at all, and thus their wife has infinite power in the relationship (despite her own willinginess to leave at the drop of a hat.)

      [–]BakerofpieEndorsed Contributor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I realize it's an acceptable choice; however, as we have stated here and try to get new people to understand, TRP is largely filled with men in different stages of the grieving process. One has to wade through the advice of those still holding a lot of resentment and anger to find advice pertinent to a man who doesn't want to throw away his marriage over his wife gaining some weight. Like I said, I don't go over there frequently, but the complaints of other men coupled with my own (albeit limited) observations lead me to understand why a man would come here. I still don't think it's advisable (hell, just look at the advice he received - largely not RP at all), but it would be nice if there were some better options for married men looking into TRP.

      [–]kol15 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      I dont know, I see guys getting pretty good advice most of the time. What you said tends to happen when some guy comes in with an utter trainwreck of a story where most other men would have bailed long ago.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (21 children)

      I do agree it has become stale. It is much easier to next someone than to teach someone with potential.

      [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (20 children)

      you cant just "next" a wife. its not that its stale, its inappropriate for married men

      [–]MrsStrom 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      Exactly, she's his WIFE. Some how it's okay to tell a guy to downgrade or next his wife, but a woman doing the same thing to a beta makes her Satan.

      Only in extreme circumstances is divorce appropriate. And cheating is never appropriate.

      [–]ArchwingerTRP Vanguard 14 points15 points  (7 children)

      you cant just "next" a wife. its not that its stale, its inappropriate for married men

      It's a little stunning how clueless non-married men are to that.

      "My wife does X and/or won't do Y. What can I do?"

      "She's not holding up her end of the marriage. Next her or cheat on her."

      "But I don't want to sacrifice more than half of everything I've worked my entire life to build if there's a better way."

      "Marriage sucks. Divorce her."

      "But I don't want to lose my children, who I love more than anything in the world."

      "Divorce her anyway. It's better for the kids than staying together in a shitty marriage."

      "Doesn't single motherhood fuck up a lot of kids?"

      "Yeah, but you should still divorce your wife. Or at least cheat on her."

      [–]aaron_the_just 1 point2 points  (6 children)

      This is really not what happens

      Instead we have situations like "I think my wife is cheating on me" "My wife is gone until 4 AM on a regular basis"

      And since the WIFE is probably considering separation/divorce, we tell the MAN he has the right to consider the same thing. He has to get in a frame of mine where his entire life is not wrapped around maintaining the marriage/the wife.

      [–]ArchwingerTRP Vanguard 6 points7 points  (5 children)

      I've been advised, on more than one occasion, to divorce my bitchy, mostly sexless wife who's [most likely] not cheating.

      To do it now, because it will be easier and cheaper to rebuild now than to accrue more assets and have to share those assets with her later.

      To do it now, because growing up with parents that are unhappily married is even worse for kids than growing up with divorced parents.

      If I mention that, in my case, the nuclear option is off the table, the usual response is "Why?"

      [–]BluepillProfessor 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Arch, the problem is things rarely get much better without the nuclear option ON the bloody table. If low frequency sex is the problem, Dread is the answer and that requires the launch codes to be in reach. In my experience, and countless bloggers telling me and others this, when you get to the point where you don't care any more (IDGAF) whether the marriage succeeds is when things seem to finally change for the better. Don't ask me to explain it except at that moment the Dread is made manifest and the change can be almost instantaneous. Of course the problem is by the time you get that far mentally it may already be to late because YOU want to GTFO. Marriage is dancing on a razors edge trying not to get cut.

      [–]ArchwingerTRP Vanguard 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Marriage is dancing on a razors edge trying not to get cut.

      There's a Jewish saying that goes something like if a marriage is truly strong, the couple can make love on the edge of a knife. (The converse is that if it is not, it doesn't matter how big your bed is. Ain't no sex.)

      [–]BluepillProfessor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My Hebrew brothers have lots of good sayings and literature:

      Mazel Tov!

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      If I mention that, in my case, the nuclear option is off the table, the usual response is "Why?"

      and thats somehow wrong?

      the advice you got was right, if you are unwilling to walk away she has no incentive to do anything.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (9 children)

      I meant TRP has become hivemind/stale regarding this situation. And you can next a wife when she isn't redpill material after you have found out about redpill. I just disagree with how the men handle the first step. They need to apply the redpill philosophy on their marriages and if it doesn't work, you next her like you do any girl. Why is it inappropriate to be with a woman that doesn't respect you?

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (8 children)

      I understand the Machievallian concept of considering a contract void when any of the original terms used for inducement change (eg there is a better new option or it no longer suits you), and the general idea of enforcing specific performance, but to nuke it is extreme. A marriage is much more serious than dating/having plates. Respect comes to those who earn it through performance.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children)

      What about instances where the man learned redpill during the marriage? I think my point is valid because you are expecting the man to be redpill before, that I have no qualms with. What happens when the man realizes his full potential and his wife has been sucking him dry? Your advice to do what? Like I posted, if it doesn't succeed the first try you nuke it.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

      Then there's a typical situation of trying to make it work over time while practicing a constancy of excellence. Marriage shouldn't be about compromise, not the way most people mean compromise, anyway, of both giving something up. It should be about optimizing a greater whole formed by fulfilling the role of each party, along with the privileges and duties that those roles confer.

      When there is a general poor beginning, and one party embraces a different way of being without the other, then the fundamental nature of the marriage changes. It no longer is the same marriage practically/relationally. However, structurally, it remains the poor marriage as it began unless the other person changes, too and can embrace a new set of standards.

      And in keeping with the dictum than one can only change oneself, that self-pursuit is my advice. The choice was already made in the past to marry, and it has consequences to performan even though one might change later. Sometimes, it is worth it to divorce, most often not. And not if it's doesn't succeed the first try. Change takes time. And it's not good to just give up... the man has to take accountability for his previous choices and failures. Both shaped each other, both picked each other. It's usually not trivial.

      [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

      It is not trivial because you treat it as such but at the end of the day it is just a relationship with a lot of history. Bad past history does not justify future companionship. If the other person does not change while you relish in self-pursuit, what are you to do then? Wait some more? Change does take time and it takes even longer when it is someone else. The man is accountable when he changes himself. It is the first-mate's decision to change or leave. If you label things in the way that you do problems will not be solved. They will only be complicated.

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

      I understand your perspective in that ultimately results matter. At the same time, I don't think much of the time it's just a relationship. There are sometimes assets, children, and similar considerations. Splitting up also makes that complicated and substitutes one set of problems for another. However, I think I get your point in that assets and to a degree, children, can be under the man's authority and he can pursue a self-directed course of action alone that is not possible in a bad marriage.

      what are you to do then? Wait some more?

      No, that accomplishes very little and wastes potential. I think your use of the words "first try" concerned me, because change requires calibration relationally, and that's a matter of iteration and assessment of efficacy. There are times that warrant separation. It should always be at least considered.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      I agree but by that time a husband should be able to see how the future will pan out. These other issues definitely complicate things which is why RP works wonders before you get married. Damn that must be a pain. Now that you mention it and it only makes me more selective than ever before.

      [–]YouDislikeMyOpinion -1 points0 points  (0 children)

      I would also like to add to the discussion the degree, speed, and effectiveness of someone being able to "change".

      Let's be frank, some people don't change. It is what it is. We can say that "the other party in the marriage must take steps to change", but what what we are really saying is that one party must fundamentally alter their way of life, thinking, and brain structure for the benefit of the other party.

      Wife doesn't pay a lot of attention to what the husband asks of her to do. Sounds relatively non-complex right? All she needs to do is just pay more attention right?

      No. It's much more complicated than that. She doesn't pay attention to him because that is the best choice for her in her life; she derives the most utility for herself by utilizing that strategy. More likely than not, she has no self-interest invested in paying attention to what he says. Or whatever self-interest is there towards paying attention, has an underlying self-interest more focused towards other things, leaving the husband's interests secondary and therefore inattentive. (RP advice for this has been to dread game, creating self-interest through emotional manipulation).

      Furthermore she has no ingrained strategy that would lead to her do what is necessary to keep the relationship in a pristine condition, overriding whatever it is that is stopping her from paying attention, so that she could actually pay attention and care.

      There is also the aspect of why she lets it go on the way it does. Why she doesn't care about paying attention. Why she doesn't sit down and figure things out before they reach this point.

      • Lack of preemptive strategy focused on preventing issues.

        • Life circumstances and life experience have shaped her thinking in a way where the prevention of issues is not at the forefront of her thoughts, at the bare minimum. She also could have failed to develop an understanding of how important it is to structure life in a way so that future issues are reduced. She also could have failed to learn how to create strategies to combat future issues, and solve them before they happen.
      • Lack of a fail-safe mechanism that would stop a serious issue from becoming a part of the relationship

        • This is one of the most difficult ones, but something that RP men learn over time in order to keep their lives good. Dealing with issues when they need to be dealt with, and cutting the cord to relationships that aren't going to work out, instead of hanging around the bad relationships and having these sorts of problems arise. It is not learned over night.
      • Lack of an internalized strategy focused on the identification and resolution of issues

        • The issue is very apparent by this point to the husband. Either it is not apparent to the wife due to reasons of failure in ability to identify it, which is very bad, or it is apparent, and willingly ignored or disregarded.

      This is the reality. It's not so simple. The situation is the way it is for a multitude of real reasons that are not simple to reverse. You can't go back and change someone's life, experiences, learning, education. It's simply not possible.

      What I wrote is a small part of the actual root problem in that relationship.

      There are relationships where it is apparent based on all of my previous life experiences that the woman will not change.

      I don't have what I'm writing right now as coherent and organized as how I usually write, but let me know what you think, whoever reads this.

      [–]Agent_Elle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      If there are no kids involved "nexting" a wife may be possible, but once he has kids with her he'll never be able to next her, he just gets stuck with an exwife that in many cases is even harder to deal with than a wife!

      [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      thats why there's alreadyred and becomeaman and asktrp subreddits. the average redditor is a college age male and that's why the average advice pertains to avoiding marriage regardless of circumstance.

      [–]logi_thebear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      As a man in an LTR, who plans on getting engaged in two weeks, this fact makes me extremely reluctant to post anything to TRP most of the time.

      [–]Azediae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      My only gripe with trp right now is that any man asking questions about a LTR hears "well getting married was your first mistake", and "downgrade your wife to a plate! "

      There's nothing I would like more than to spend rest of my life with one woman, raising a family. However, I fully agree with the above. The risk of modern marriage (in the U.S.) is simply too great for any rational man to undertake - and even then, it guarantees neither life-long companionship nor a functional family. Marriage's inviolability was upheld through social - not legal - constructs. Whereas marriage and life-long partnership were once synonymous, they diverged when divorce became socially acceptable and started carrying disproportionate punishment for men as well as disproportionate incentives for women.

      [–]AndTheSonsofDisaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That's basically why I unsubscribed from there.

      [–]temparooney -1 points0 points  (1 child)

      I don't think I've ever seen "downgrade your wife to a plate". Many times "downgrade your ex-gf (or even possibly ex-wife) to a plate" but not current wife.

      And of course sometimes there's "divorce your wife" but that's usually a serious situation, combined with worry that the guy will get raped in court on the money and custody issues. The then ex-wife's plate status is far enough down the list not to matter in that case.

      I think you were probably throwing in an exaggeration for effect, and it did read well, but still ...

      [–]MrsStrom 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      That wasn't an exaggeration. It happens entirely too frequently.

      [–]Ob1Kn00b 7 points8 points  (7 children)

      "am i posting this here in the hopes ill hear easier, nicer advice that doesn't mean i have to do hard things and not hurt my wife's feelers?"

      Really? Everyone that posts here asking for relationship advice isn't worried about "hurting their wife's feelers", they're concerned about keeping their damn wife. TRP may have some core truths there, but the vast majority of the place is still people in stage-two, all angsty and overemotional and hating on life.

      Even past that, there's not a single person in that subreddit that ends up being pro LTR, and certainly no pro marriage. When men come into TRPW wanting to get a bit of advice, it's because even if that relationship advice is a bit myopic due to asking women for it, it's still a lot better than the chorus of "DUMP HER!" that happens in TRP.

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      There are many users that are pro-LTR.

      /u/OccamsUsername is one of them, and he has written an LTR series. that you should read if you haven't already.

      Clarify in any post that create on askTRP or TRP that you are not interested in a simple 'next' and that your focus is on LTRs at the moment.

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]Ob1Kn00b 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        While sometimes it may not be excellent advice, advice with a bit of bias is far better than a place with absolutely no advice at all... and that's all that TRP is to people that actually want to have a long term relationship.

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        im sorry, you seem to be reading something else. i didnt say dont post here, i didnt say EVERYONE who posts here posts from that frame...as the part you left out said, i said to ask yourself that BEFORE you post here.

        [–]Ob1Kn00b -1 points0 points  (1 child)

        Apologies, I did misread it a bit... but really, I don't feel there's ever anything reasonable going on for LTRs in the main TRP. An actual subreddit devoted specifically to that might be nice, I suppose, but until then there's just not much reason for people to look to TRP for advice on actual relationships.

        That being said, as far as questions from guys goes I'd at least love to get "how do I meet a RPW" out of here. That question seems to be asked every other day.

        [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        yeh lol no more asking for directions to the unicorn stables

        [–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child)

        MEN: /r/asktrp It's why it's there.

        Happy cake day op.

        [–]ColdEiric 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        If I see another 'Where do I find a unicorn like you, ladies?', I will report it immediately.

        [–]Boss_Monkey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        wait, should I listen the the OPs advice not to listen to the OPs advice?

        [–]BluepillProfessor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        When I was well on my TRP journey and was just beginning to see success, I had a burning question that only the women at Red Pill woman could answer. Had I asked it first of the men I may have listened to them and the outcome in my marriage may not have been so successful.

        As a high value professor/black belt/public speaker/weightlifter finally learning game in his 40's, should I use said game on my frigid 40ish wife of 20 years and try to save this deadbedmarriage or should I exit and start spinning plates?

        The advice that game is likely to work best on your long time wife came from the ladies while the boys would have no doubt told me it is harder to warm up cold tang than to pull already warm (and new and fresh) tang. Thanks Red Pill women!

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [removed]

        [–]TempestTcup 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Hahahaha, way ahead of you :)

        [–]dsrpta1 Star 7 points8 points  (3 children)

        Yep. Generally, men can only learn to be men from other men. Women, who have no experience being men, cannot teach men to be men.

        [–]Frankenoodle -1 points0 points  (0 children)

        Exactly! While I value male insights here, I'm not sure asking us for our opinion on this matter would ever be helpful. Although we might be able to explain the female perspective (if they are interested) I can't imagine explaining how to get your wife to behave like a proper lady.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [removed]

          [–]RedPillJohnny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Wise words. Don't ask a fish, ask the fisherman how to catch a fish.

          [–]temparooney 1 point2 points  (2 children)

          From a theoretical perspective, I don't understand why the woman's advice tends to favor other women. I agree it does, bigtime, and thank you for recognizing that here. But I don't understand why it's true.

          In the social world, women are in a competitive relationship with each other and don't act as a team at all. One of the classic "game" maneuvers is to hit on the friends of your female friend and benefit from the jealousy it creates as well as having more sex. Not saying it's good or that I'd do it, just that it's typical enough to be a recognized strategy. Women are lousy at teamwork with other women!

          So, I don't understand the fact (and it is a fact) that female advice is so consistently pro-female, empowering the woman and disempowering the man. Any ideas?

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [deleted]

            [–]Italianweddingcake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Amen!

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [deleted]

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            no one sbeing turned away. i gave men something to chew on before asking their Q. i dotn wan tmen coming here and walking away happy over BAD advice fromm women who ar ebeing too nice. i dotn want this to turn into hilarious craphole /r/relationships

            [–]Luke666808g 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            Yeah I don't know why guys would ask that stuff here, I come here to see what the ladies are talking about and offer a male perspective if it's useful. Trying to bed as many easy women as possible or getting your wife to quit nagging all the damn time is really a question for the guys, since women wouldn't know how to handle other women in a relationship, unless they're lesbian, in which case I'm pretty sure Red Pill Theory is useless to them and they wouldn't be on this sub in the first place.

            [–]LaraHall1 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            I definitely agree other men are more likely to tell it straight. Men can definitely be unrealistic about love and romance, though. I just think most women are going to be nice rather than give advice he doesn't want to hear. I always figure, let him get turned down over and over, and then he'll be forced to adjust his standards accordingly.

            [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

            I just think most women are going to be nice rather than give advice he doesn't want to hear

            this is exactly what im saying. no matter how RP the girls around here are, when a man comes to get advice they transmogrify into regular "nice" women giving him a bunch of terrible nonRP advice, unless they are old married battleaxes like me

            [–]aaron_the_just 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            I tone down my advice here compared to askTRP simply because I don't like to talk here with the level of crudeness that's often needed.

            [–]LadyLumen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

            THANK YOU! This was a much needed thread. It seems like 1 out of every 5 RPW threads these days is a guy asking us relationship advice. I'm also tired of the guys asking us to hook them up with RPW - or where to find a RPW, that's another question to ask the TRP.

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

            Women are good listeners.....or good readers in this case.

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

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              [–]totes_meta_bot 0 points1 point  (5 children)

              This thread has been linked to from elsewhere on reddit.

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              [–][deleted]  (4 children)

              [removed]

                [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

                9_9 The BP sub should be renamed / r/copypasteandcomplain.

                [–]DanteAmaya 1 point2 points  (1 child)

                Some day I want to be reddit famous like Dana and have a whole copy-paste thread dedicated to reading me apart.

                While they are certainly selective listeners, I hope Dana takes heart that she's important enough to tear apart. I like to think of her as our devil's advocate, keeping us from being too nice to the betas.

                [–][deleted]  (1 child)

                [removed]

                [–]DanteAmaya 1 point2 points  (0 children)

                It's not about WHAT advice is given, it's about WHO is giving the advice. RPW are no more mollycoddling than TRP. Men will hear hard truths on TRP, just as women hear hard truths in RPW. No matter the subject, men will hear the most honest RP advice from other men, and women will hear the most honest RP advice from other women.

                The problem being addressed by this announcement is that men coming to women for advice is practically BP. This can be addressed on a case by case basis, but in general, we don't mollycoddle anyone here.