179
180

METAIf you're a guy, and you're here, read this. (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by redpillschoolModerator Extraordinaire

Guys have terrible advice for women. I see it time and time again, and you're all terrible shit at this.

There's a reason. Guys rationalize bad decisions and past decisions as "preferences." I won't dig up the quote right now, but Rollo made a very good point to this theme: Guys will have a preference for whatever worked before. If nerdy chicks show interest in a guy, he will gain a preference for nerdy chicks.

This isn't because nerdy chicks are necessarily sexier or more feminine, but because guys come from an essentially needy position. A position of no abundance.

On TRP we focus on abundance mentality to try to subvert this natural disadvantage, but it's true. Guys will never, ever, have as many options as women.

So when I hear a guy tell a woman, "No, you keep doing what you're doing, I like a woman with a little spunk.."

This guy doesn't have a preference for "spunk." No, he's an idiot who is so thirsty he'll take any woman he can get, and he'll accept her self-proclaimed handicaps as features.

He'll think to himself, "gosh, she's bitchy, rude, and abrasive..... well, I like a strong independent woman."

And that's his rationalization. Because he's a thirsty fucking idiot.

But when they start preaching about their preferences as though it's going to be useful advice for women, then we've got a problem.

And we do have this problem here. Guys think they know what good advice for women is.

Women, if you take this advice- "i find book smarts to be very attractive" I promise you will waste a considerable amount of time and energy doing something that doesn't really boost your SMV. Oh sure, some guys might say they have the preference, but ultimately, book smarts aren't actually sufficient to create attraction, nor required for said attraction to exist. Guys will not assist you in actual SMV building. Because, guys want to fuck you anyway, and will basically accept you as you are. But that doesn't help your chances with higher quality guys.

If you're a dude, and you think you should be chiming in, read the fucking side bar. Then read it again. Then don't chime in. Because it's unlikely you've got much to contribute.

If you're a guy and you contribute and it's not gender neutral (that is, none of that "as a guy..." bullshit), then it's out of here, and you're out of here. No warnings.


[–]Disappear_vanish 103 points104 points  (15 children)

I cannot stand the politically correct puke disguised as bad advice all over this sub lately. I recognize some regular posters, the mods, and posters with sub flair don't really do this, but there are tons of people whose mouth diarrhea results in stuff like this:

OP: "My boyfriend spent three nights with his ex and didn't tell me and I live a thousand miles away and we meet to hump once a year, how can I make sure he doesn't cheat on me? Also, he probably didn't cheat on me, right?"

Comments full of idiots: "you can't know whether he slept with her, just trust him!"

"Go fly to his house right now and profess your undying devotion!"

"Wait six months for a break at work, then fly there and tell him how much he means to you. Also, she's trying to rekindle their friendshit, there's nothing to worry about!"

So much idiotic, unrealistic bullcrap like this gets posted in every comment section. Approximately 90% of advice given in this sub is terrible. Let's don't spin a fairy tale for people to hope in. If they're screwed, they need to know it.

[–]Microfuzz 74 points75 points  (8 children)

I've noticed this too, and it's been happening for a while (as in: at least a year). I think a lot of this sort of advice stems from a misunderstanding of TRP dogma.

When girls ask how they can improve their relationship, they're told to work on improving themselves and to work toward learning to trust their man. Good stuff.

Well guess what: most men suck. Most men aren't captains worthy of our trust, just like most women aren't unicorns worthy of their man's trust.

If it's obvious he's a cheating prick, he probably is. Move on. We're women, not girls.

[–]Disappear_vanish 43 points44 points  (5 children)

Well guess what: most men suck. Most men aren't captains worthy of our trust, just like most women aren't unicorns and most aren't worthy of their man's trust.

I hock this like like it pays well. Folks hate to hear it, but it's just true.

[–]thefisherman1961 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I didn't even notice that "most" there. Good catch

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[removed]

    [–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (2 children)

    Women don't need to understand TRP - anyone that gets bent out of shape because of posts/comments there fails to understand (1) what the users actual goals are (could be general sex, purely self-improvement, or establishing/rehabilitating a relationship) and (2) that it's not meant for/directed towards women. TRP and RPW work off the same ideas, but have many points of conflict (because by and large - men and women have different priorities and goals).

    You don't go to TRP and tell a man looking for sex that he needs to be monogamous and focus on creating an LTR - that advice isn't useful to that particular user. Similarly, it's just as counter-productive when a male user comes to RPW and tells women they need to be a man's 'top plate' and work from there to earn commitment.

    If a woman dislikes TRP or 'doesn't get it' then the best thing to do is stop going there. Focus on personal goals and priorities, and worry about earning the commitment of a good man that inspires admiration and trust.

    [–]Microfuzz 8 points9 points  (1 child)

    TRP and RPW work off the same ideas, but have many points of conflict (because by and large - men and women have different priorities and goals).

    This is a great point, and many people seem to be coming to this conclusion really late in their journey. There's a reason each community doesn't like the other gender to participate in their subs. It's almost as if the subs are more adversarial than symbiotic.

    I think we, as a TRP community, need to do a better job of pointing women and men toward the right sub for them. I'm happy to see RedPillWomen taking this step. Maybe the others could follow suit in an appropriate fashion?

    It honestly breaks my heart to see some of the women's posts over in /r/asktrp, just like I'm grossed out by some of the groupy-esque BS that pops up in here.

    [–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

    Both subs are very vocal about telling a user when they need to be posting somewhere else. It's not a problem for men to comment in RPW or for women to comment in TRP as long as they are contributing something relevant and useful.

    Women on TRP are often complaining about something, or trying to argue that AWALT doesn't apply to them. Men on RPW often 'head pat,' praise, or ask "how do I find a RPW" (answer: if you want a good woman, then be a good Captain). We routinely remove certain threads that get posted here, because those questions are better suited for other RP subs.

    It's almost as if the subs are more adversarial than symbiotic.

    "Battle of the sexes" is an idea that has been around for a long time. Everyone has priorities, and when your goals necessitate delaying someone else from achieving their own (men wanting sex, and women wanting commitment in many cases) then that breeds tension. Welcome to the world of dating. Finding someone you're compatible with, attracted to, and can successfully acquire your needs from isn't easy or simple. I think it's valuable for women to read TRP, and to understand every side of male nature, as well as female nature - without feeling entitled, or persecuted.

    [–]ColdEiric 15 points16 points  (0 children)

    We're women, not girls.

    Women aren't common these days. Back in the olden days, when babies died, when young children died, when young men and women died, when only the wisest of women grew old and got to meet their grandchildren, people could tell when they met women. Nowadays every girl can afford to grow old and have families. Women are a rare breed these days.

    [–]Anderfail 11 points12 points  (0 children)

    This is why anyone who doesn't use the "trust but verify" method is a dumbass. It applies to both men and women since both sexes are full of morons who can barely put one foot in front of the other without fucking up and faceplanting.

    If the guy is acting shady, he likely is shady. Basically if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, then it's probably a duck.

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Oh my god that thread killed me.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    But....but... their feelings!! You can't hurt their feelings!

    [–]thelotusknyte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Are these actual quotations? That seems pathetic and unworthy of Red Pillers. What do you attribute this to?

    [–][deleted]  (1 child)

    [removed]

      [–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Being kind is wonderful - and striving to show patience, appreciation and gentleness to friends, family, and loved ones is absolutely something everyone should strive to do. I think you should give advice the best way you know how, and stick to your philosophy of kindness if that works for you.

      That said, it can be exceedingly difficult to break through a lot of mentalities that have been built up over long stretches of time. There's a certain amount of 'blindness' that a lot of new users come here with - and getting them to actually see how they are contributing to (and in many cases creating) the problems that plague them is quite a process. We deliver honesty, some users are more gentle, other users are more direct. Neither approach is better or worse - it's the content of the advice that matters most. Women will frequently ignore, twist, and completely misinterpret patiently constructed advice - on the other hand, strike a nerve and they may come out swinging a bit more, but they also start paying closer attention to what's being said. We deliver honesty, whether that comes in the form of gentle words or harsh truths is purely up to the individual dispensing the advice.

      [–]FrogTrainer 17 points18 points  (2 children)

      He'll think to himself, "gosh, she's bitchy, rude, and abrasive..... well, I like a strong independent woman."

      I think this is part of the reason "passing shit tests" work so well for men. Because if he is NOT accepting her faults as is (in this case, being bitchy,rude,etc.), then it signals to her that he is not a thirsty beta morphing his preferences to suit the woman in front of him.

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [removed]

        [–]FleetingWishEndorsed Contributor 44 points45 points  (7 children)

        Well, in my opinion it's not entirely false. When a guy says "I like nerdy chicks" he is not picturing a fat girl, he is picturing the slave Leah girls at comic con, or Zooey Deschalel on New Girl. He is picturing a already moderately attractive girl, who is cute, nice, and fun, but also wears think glasses, or has an interest in video games.

        The thing is he doesn't even care where your nerdiness lies. You can have an interest in math, video games, or just be a little clumsy, and he'll still like it because you have the other features.

        Saying being a nerdy girl, by itself, is enough to attract him, is disingenuous. Things like this are really secondary desires. For example, I might say "I prefer a man with facial hair", because I have a preference for men with facial hair. But that doesn't mean I have no interest in clean shaven men.

        The red pill is available to teach men what women's non-negotiables are, just like RPW does for women. But that doesn't mean you can't add on top of that. It's ok to add facial hair, or nerdy interests, to make yourself more interesting, just as long as you don't lose sight of what is most important.

        [–]redpillschoolModerator Extraordinaire[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

        As I say on TRP, it's neither sufficient to create attraction, nor required.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–]thefisherman1961 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          You might have seen it, but there was a TRP thread recently about this same topic: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3givrf/11_reasons_you_need_to_ditch_your_fuckboy_and/

          [–]scallopkidEndorsed Contributor 26 points27 points  (1 child)

          Thanks Dad! 😄

          [–]redpillschoolModerator Extraordinaire[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

          You're not going out dressed like that, are you?

          [–]JackGoldsteinWrites 23 points24 points  (8 children)

          OP says not to give advice to women

          Guys have terrible advice for women. I see it time and time again, and you're all terrible shit at this.

          OP gives advice to women

          Women, if you take this advice- "i find book smarts to be very attractive" I promise you will waste a considerable amount of time and energy doing something that doesn't really boost your SMV.

          Post is good though, slight irony aside, I agree. I try to keep on the sidelines because, well, I really don't have much of an idea what it's like to be a woman.

          [–]FuzzyKittenIsFuzzy 15 points16 points  (4 children)

          Thank you for being willing to stick to the sidelines when you don't know the answer. Some man in here last week genuinely suggested a woman send her boyfriend flowers at work, then excused it by explaining he was just thinking about what he does for his girlfriend, as though that made it better somehow.

          [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          That was my thread. Note that I did not respond hahahah

          [–]JackGoldsteinWrites 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          We often say on the other side, don't get advice on women from women. Because women don't date or marry other women. Same applies vice versa.

          I'm sure some men are able to put themselves in the shoes of a woman through empathy and perceptiveness, but the truth is, that's probably 1-5% of us. And even then, that 1-5% is never going to have the same depth of understanding as another woman. So it's just easier for us to shut up in general.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Lol I almost died

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          That was me on my old account. Glad I had such an impact you still remember me a week later ;)

          [–]redpillschoolModerator Extraordinaire[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

          The difference between me and average joe? I'm right.

          [–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

          Thread: "Men - make sure your advice is relevant to RPW, otherwise pipe down."

          How that has translated into what I can only describe as a mating call for every male user to start piping up with irrelevant opinions and completely ignore the purpose of this thread is really baffling to me.

          [–][deleted]  (1 child)

          [removed]

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Helpful: Give RPW relevant advice, understand the goals of RPW users

            Not-Helpful: Giving non-RPW relevant advice, trying to 'educate' users about RP ideas (we already know), sucking up, or treating the sub in general as a forum to practice newly acquired skills.

            Edit: There is no discussion about how men can be helpful or not - comments simply need to be useful and actionable for RPW users - regardless of whether the person leaving the comment is male or female.

            [–]babydonut 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            Why so many deleted comments?

            [–]TheTerrorSquadEndorsed Contributor 24 points25 points  (13 children)

            This is good stuff.

            Female solipsism is well talked about on trp but men have it too ( I have a theory about how a more alpha type man will actually be more solipstic but I digress)

            It's why men send dick pics. 😀

            [–]Huffnagle 29 points30 points  (2 children)

            Solipsism... I think that has everything to do with dick pix.

            I think most people have trouble seeing things from other people's perspective, especially from the other gender's perspective. So a guy trying to attract girls may do things he'd find attractive from her. If she was very attentive, did nice things for him, sent him nudes of herself, etc he would find that attractive. Little does he realize that those things are not especially attractive to women.

            Women do the same thing. Portraying themselves as strong, independent, accomplished, well travelled, successful, and somewhat unavailable seems to be prevalent. Women are attracted to those qualities, men aren't. Yet, reading dating profiles will show you lots of examples of women displaying exactly these characteristics.

            [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            This should almost be sidebar'd.

            [–]MountainScorpion 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            Women do the same thing. Portraying themselves as strong, independent, accomplished, well travelled, successful, and somewhat unavailable seems to be prevalent. Women are attracted to those qualities, men aren't. Yet, reading dating profiles will show you lots of examples of women displaying exactly these characteristics.

            Welcome to my frustration. Women constantly try to show me how much I should respect them as a man, and then are baffled, angry, and dejected when that doesn't make me want to sleep with them.

            [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

            The dick pic thing is so true :D

            [–]YouDislikeMyOpinion 1 point2 points  (5 children)

            I have a theory about how a more alpha type man will actually be more solipstic

            Care to share? I would be very interested in hearing it.

            [–]TheTerrorSquadEndorsed Contributor 15 points16 points  (2 children)

            I'm on my phone so I'll keep it brief.

            I have found that really dominant / alpha types veiw the world as theirs. It's theirs and they manipulate it accordingly. Everything and everyone yields to them, willingly or otherwise. They also "miss" other people's experience of life, it doesn't register. I think they need to to get shit done. Their agenda takes upmost priority. I also don't mean it as a pejorative I actually find it quite impressive

            Hope that makes sense ☺

            [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

            Yep

            [–]cxj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

            Agreed here. This solopsism is also why top tier successful men often jock feminism and protecting women, etc.

            [–]vintagegirlgame 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            I know a few alphas who are male models and these men can act very feminine sometimes. They're very tall and in the top 2% of looks so they barely have to try to get pussy (tinder is an endless supply). For these men their abundance mentality is more akin to the way a woman can always get sex and male attention.

            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            Don't ask the fish how to catch fish, ask the fisherman.

            [–]StingrayVC 4 points5 points  (1 child)

            Hallelujah.

            [–]takenbythought 4 points5 points  (0 children)

            I don't think all guys give horrible advice, it just depends on their agenda for you. If they want to have sex with you later or at some point in time, they indeed give horrible advice. But if they don't, and I know some guys that are brutally honest, they'll give you the naked truth I mostly experienced this after having become "one of the guys" in my man's group of friends, up to the point where they're comfortable enough to openly discuss their love lives in front of me

            [–]stillnoturday 8 points9 points  (2 children)

            The nice guys are everywhere. There was just a guy giving a girl that had 50+ partners by the time she was 20 advice saying she could find a top tier guy and that he liked a girl with experience.

            I almost had to check to make sure I wasn't in /r/relationships.

            [–][deleted]  (3 children)

            [removed]

            [–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

            How can you read rpw and trp and not know this is repulsive

            [–]-TempestofChaos- 2 points3 points  (1 child)

            Wait so I'm not subbed to /r/niceguys here? Shit....

            I cringed hard. And when I cringe, things be bad.

            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

            [removed]

            [–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child)

            Let us not pretend that women give other women stellar advice all the time.

            Which is something we have to combat a lot here as well. It's bad enough when the female users are busting out 'team woman' nonsense, but adding more noise from the male users is just as distracting, pointless, and counter-productive. Ditch the high horse "I'm not an idiot" mentality, and understand the message - this is a sub for RP women to focus on self-improvement. Male input needs to be useful and serve a purpose (head patting isn't useful, non-RPW advice isn't helpful, and stating "as a man" is unnecessary).

            We've been telling male users to contribute in useful ways, and they have continually ignored the (numerous) warnings and posts that have been made - and you're doing the same thing here by trying to say "it's not a male user problem - just an issue with bad advice in general"....way to entirely miss the point.

            [–][deleted]  (1 child)

            [removed]

            [–]redpillschoolModerator Extraordinaire[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

            It is true that men will have higher standards for LTR. It is also true that there are traits that men commonly find attractive.

            It is also true that most of the guys visiting RPW are dolts.

            [–][deleted]  (6 children)

            [removed]

            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (5 children)

            Advice from men should be RPW appropriate and relevant to the discussion if they are commenting on this sub. No one here wants to know how to be more attractive to a specific individual male user.

            [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

            lolol i cannot believe how many hundreds of men replied on this thread. There is a mental illness in the water

            [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

            Maybe commenting on threads like this is a new-age version of trying to 'mark' territory? I don't get it, and I dislike being put in a position where we either ignore the comments (thus allowing the problem to continue) or having to remove them (resulting in feminist-wacka-doo accusations).

            [–][deleted]  (2 children)

            [removed]

              [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

              That's a pretty high bar to clear.

              Which is why fewer users should assume that they do. A lot of individuals find TRP, get really excited, and then use RPW to either try and 'educate' the user-base here about RP ideas, or start giving awful advice.

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

              [removed]

              [–]redpillschoolModerator Extraordinaire[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

              Golly gee, is that what I wrote?

              [–][deleted]  (1 child)

              [removed]

              [–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

              Actually, its not--it is FEMINISM that causes and enforces the mixing of the sexes inappropriately, not any traditional culture. this is exactly WHY TRP and RPW feel COMFORTABLE attempting to separate the sexes while TWOX is forced by its own retarded egalitarianism to allow men to overrun and destroy it and force them into private womens only subs

              in exactly ZERO prefeminist cultures would men intrude on the realm of women or women intrude on the realm of men, youve all got your heads up your asses

              [–]VarsitySlutTeamCpt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

              Dudes really have a bad rep here hub?

              [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

              Fair enough. I post here too much, and in spite of reading the 'Male participation in this sub' several times to check what I am posting is ok, I always feel a bit leery about it. Think it is time for me to go dark.

              [–]Danieltck -1 points0 points  (1 child)

              I see your point but if we went by this logic most woman would end of being feminist again. I think we should take advice from older people in are gender not younger.

              [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              He wasn't talking about most women. He was talking about this sub in particular. Which is why dumb ass comments get removed and corrected by flaired contributors.