A letter to the younger women of RPW,
I write to you as a young woman myself, as a recent college graduate, as someone who has found a man in whom I have the utmost confidence to lead and build a wonderful life and family with me. I know he will make a wonderful husband and father, and he has made clear his devotion and commitment to me. I couldn’t be happier.
I know that many of you are still searching. My heart breaks for the young women in 2018 who are looking for traditional love and marriage in a sea of feminism, boys who never seem to grow up, or serial players and plate spinners. I read your stories. The real men out there seem few and far between, and many of you have reluctantly chosen a less-than-ideal man you think might have potential with the right encouragement, which often ends in disappointment. It’s easy to become discouraged and many women settle.
But one of the beautiful aims of this subreddit is to encourage women to abandon the typical female dating narrative of: how can I get a good man to commit to me? In favor of a superior question: what type of woman is worth committing to, and how can I become one?
The value of the man I’m with is clear to women who know him well, who either pursue him to no avail, ex girlfriends who still say they lost the best thing they’ve ever had, friends who tell me they want to find what I have, or cynically pretend he must be too good to be true. But these women have many things in common, expressing habits encouraged on college campuses and by feminism, habits that I myself had years ago, and habits that will be difficult to unlearn. I don’t have all the answers, but I hope someone out there can find this advice helpful.
Be beautiful, not “hot”
Men have two evolutionary mating strategies built into their biology (edit: see link to Weinstein podcast below). Women need to know this. The first is to get as much seed as possible into as many women as possible, and hope some children are born and turn out okay. This is the older, more animalistic strategy, but has worked for some. The second is more “evolved.” You find one woman, with the best genes possible, and have children with her, but stick around to ensure their safety, competence, and survival. Monogamy has been around for millennia. These two strategies remain in men today, indicated by men unanimously answering two questions in the affirmative (try it): can you imagine a woman who is hot, but not beautiful? Can you imagine a woman who is beautiful, but not hot? These terms differentiate which mating strategy will be used. Hot women are the women in porn, strippers, or in clubs. The women men know they could sleep with, but would never bring home to their mother. Beautiful women are still sexually attractive, but their attraction expands beyond the physical to grace, kindness, intelligence, and feminine charm. The key difference: beautiful women are still beautiful as they age, even past an age where they might not be fertile. All men can identify a beautiful older woman, but would never find them “hot.” Men don’t commit to hot women, because sex is their only value, and will be useless over 35.
College campuses encourage women to be hot. My friends would dress in the tightest clothes, drink in excess, and be very sexually forward with the men they wanted attention from. Then, the next morning, wonder what they did wrong and why he isn’t texting them back. Stop talking about sex. Women in college will talk about sex in front of men, about blow jobs, about funny stories from one night stands. It drives men crazy, and successfully gets those women all the attention in the room. But if you want marriage someday, being wanted isn’t good enough. It feels good to be looked at and lusted after by men, and it can be intoxicating. I know, trust me. But you’re appealing to the wrong dating strategy. Delete tinder. Stop snap chatting your body. Be beautiful, and someday you’ll be wanted in a different way, for a lifetime not just a good time. And that is... extraordinary.
I’m realizing how long this post has become. I have many more things to say, and if you’d like I can make a part 2, 3, etc.
I hope you all have a lovely day.
Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/94efea/letter_to_young_women_part_2_the_charm_of_the/