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FIELD REPORT[Update] We (29F, 40M) are pregnant after ~two months of dating. (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by pregnantred

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First of all I just want to thank everyone for the kind words, congratulations and solid advice from my last post. I also want to thank this community for opening my eyes and helping me to get to where I am right now.

I am happy to report that my year long nun mode and serious research into RP truths helped me vet a man who is 100% on board for this insane roller coaster. He has kept frame and shown to be a natural leader. He has unshakable morals and values, he truly believes in marriage and family and he is undoubtedly my captain and ready to weather the storm.

Once my family left town we were finally able to sit down and talk candidly. We first spoke about logistics; due date, health care, insurance, health history, etc. He works for the government and has really amazing heath insurance and suggested that baby and I get on his plan. I agreed. He suggested that we get married soon, but have an actual wedding after the baby. I was floored, so happy, so excited and of course, agreed. He also said that he still wanted to officially propose. WOW! I felt like I was in a movie. He said he already told a few of his friends, his boss and his mom! We are really doing this!

We spent pretty much all weekend together. Talked over baby names that we like, talked about moving in together and eventually selling his two houses to find one to make our own. I got to meet a bunch of his friends over the weekend and they were all so happy and supportive, hugging me and telling me congratulations. He even suggested a "baby moon" before I had the chance to! I am still a bit scared and obviously still a bit in shock, but can't wait for the future. I have always wanted to be a wife and a mother. This man is a true captain, my captain, and thanks to you ladies I will be the best first mate I possibly can be. From the bottom of my hormonal, crazy emotional heart... thank you :)


[–]BlaueBlumeFreiheit 17 points18 points  (5 children)

From the bottom of my hormonal, crazy emotional heart...

Your heart is not crazy. Your body is trying to tell you how to care for yourself. Your hormones are not something to suppress, be fearful of or hide away. They serve a purpose, to support and guide you through the process of carrying your child and giving birth.

[–]pregnantred[S] 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Thank you :)

Still getting used to the overly emotional responses to things that ordinarily wouldn't have me crying or pouring my heart out. You're absolutely right, though, these hormones are working hard to bring me a healthy baby!

[–]BlaueBlumeFreiheit 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I try to take a time out when I feel overly emotional, I found adult coloring pages to be very useful in gaining clarity and smiles;) My Dear Husband will probably frame some of the best ones for the baby room.

[–]pregnantred[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

How sweet! That is a great idea :) My mom just taught me how to crochet while she was visiting, so I have been trying to do that and looking at my pregnancy apps whenever I am a little over the top.

I can't wait to start planning and decorating a nursery and to find out the sex so I can buy all the baby shoes. Baby shoes are my weakness. It sounds like you are also expecting - is this your first as well? Congrats!

[–]BlaueBlumeFreiheit 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well it is my first pregnancy. I have the gnawing suspicion that the request to come in for another appointment today might be about there being twins;) The doc told me all looked well, looked a bit longer and began to smile. Telling me the she would like to have another look in a few days. That was on the 28. 12. when I was 9 weeks. My Aunt (after several hushed discussions with all the other women at the gathering including my mother who manned the kitchen) took me aside Christmas Eve when I gobbled up most of the liver pastry alone, put the elderberry sauce not only onto the meat but also on the fish and broke out into happy tears at every present I got. I was unconvinced as my cycle is messy and two weeks more or less is nothing unusual but went non alcoholic from there. Husband was not convinced but demanded to buy a test at the emergency drugstore that evening!;)

Crocheting sounds interesting - but I would most likely not have the patience and more importantly the fine motor skills for it.

[–]pregnantred[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aaah! Wow! Twins are such a blessing, that would be amazing. I have my first appointment next week at 8+5 and I can't wait to see my little one. Good luck with your appointment today! Let me know if they spot two of them in there :)

[–]girlwithabikeEndorsed Contributor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Many congratulations to you and your guy!!!

[–]eucalyptus1818 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So happy for you!! Wishing you three the best.

[–][deleted]  (3 children)

[deleted]

[–]pregnantred[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I wouldn’t personally be able to do that. It’s scary as hell, but we both have faith that god has a plan for us.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]pregnantred[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Good point. We have not thoroughly discussed finances - it is next on the list. We both work and while I make a great living at about $80k, he makes about double that. Once I move in with him I will save almost $2k a month on rent/bills. My plan was to save all of that for incidentals/baby. By the time baby is here I will have my car paid off and be debt free with (if all goes well) about $10k in easy access savings. I will make sure to discuss this all with him before my lease is up.

    Thank you for bringing up the financial side of this! I think we will be okay, but we obviously have a lot more to discuss.

    [–]noonessister 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Hey congratulations! You guys are handling things so well. :)

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I think this could be the start of the most amazing life for you all ❤️ I truly wish you all the best. Congratulations!

    [–]trumpolina 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I genuinely hope this will be a fantastic relationship that will last for the rest of your life and for you both to have a healthy baby 😊

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

    If I may be so inquisitive, did you meet for the 1st time 2 months ago or did you already know each other for a while? How often did you meet up in the past 2 months? At what point did you discuss pregnancy?

    [–]pregnantred[S] 6 points7 points  (5 children)

    Great question. We met online in early October and I didn't know him at all before then. I had just signed up and he was the first person I messaged back and the only person I met up with in person. I deleted my account after our first date because I knew he was amazing and wanted to focus on vetting him.

    We talked about children and marriage on our first date and established that we both were looking for a long term, committed relationship that would end in marriage and children. He said he wanted 2-3, I said I wanted up to 5. Fast forward 2 months of seeing each other 2-4 times a week (and talking/texting daily) and we both got a little too excited while watching a movie and it just kind of happened. It felt right and felt like the right time, so I didn't push back. Neither of us had protection and I told him I wasn't on BC, so we were extremely reckless in that regard. Pulling out is NOT fool proof and we were both well aware of it. Hindsight is 20/20 and it makes perfect sense now that my extremely fertile hormones were in full force.

    [–]vintagegirlgame 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    You really hit a home run there! Ppl complain that online dating can be daunting and exhausting but I think your Nun Mode really paid off! I don't think it's coincidence that you struck captain material on the first try.

    Btw It was me who suggested the babymoon on your last post but it's perfect that he's the one to actually bring it up and lead the way ;)

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Wow, that was a very substantive/productive 1st date! I've heard of quite a few cases of pulling out not preventing pregnancy. But sounds like it was welcomed by both parties. Congrats!

    [–]pregnantred[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Thank you! & Yes it was! He wasn't messing around and flat out asked me how many kids I wanted about 30 minutes into our first date. He's great :)

    [–]rosem126 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    can I ask what site you met him on? What did you have in your profile? Did it indicate that you were looking for a LTR?

    [–]pregnantred[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Match. My profile was really short. My girlfriends convinced me to sign up on a whim and I just said something about being in the town I’m in for school and stayed for work, that I love my family and love the outdoors. Put up probably 10 pictures: full body, close up, showed my tattoo, my dogs, etc. no surprises. I had a picture of me with my nieces and nephews all piled on me and he told me when he first saw it he was like “oh shit she’s got 4 kids?!” but then read my profile, thankfully, and realized I didn’t have any.

    I’m not sure there were many child free young ladies on Match in my area because I got a lot of messages that were shocked to find someone who had a job, no kids and seemed down to earth. (I live in the state that has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the country). Anyway, we hit it off right away and then talked about wanting a LTR/marriage/children.

    [–]ewnicornd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Awesome! I wish you nothing but the absolute best.

    [–]nymphelle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    What a sweet story! Congrats!

    [–]ragnarockette4 Stars 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Please tell us what baby names you are considering!

    [–]Electra_Cute 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    Feminist Red Pill is a thing!

    How does that work?

    [–]MxUnicorn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Men and women are different but equal. That's how it works.