My husband and I have the agreement that I can, at any time, deny having sex with him (and visa versa). Before I get more into that I want to express a few things:
- Sex is important in a relationship. Really important.
- Sex is important to men. Really important.
- Sex is more complicated for women but still important to us.
That said knowing all of the above I don't take sex lightly. Meaning "I'm just not in the mood" is a poor excuse to not give your husband affection. Men do better with physical affection, women not so much. This is why it is so easy for women to brush off. "They don't need this because women don't need this in the same way". Not true. Understanding that men and women are different, express themselves differently, "feel" love and affection differently and through different processes, is the cornerstone of Red Pill.
So back to my little story- when I say to my husband "no sex tonight, please" he says "okay". He says "okay" because he gets that I understand the importance of sex and don't take it lightly. He says "okay" because he knows I am not the type of woman to opt out because "yawn I just don't feel like it". He knows I know that denying him affection is as bad as the reverse, is the "big guns" pulled out only for emergencies. He doesn't just say "okay", though, he often adds "everything alright?" for the reasons stated above. "I'm not feeling well." or "I am having a horrible horrible day and I need to cry" With both his response is to cuddle me instead and let me have my emotional dump.
What a misogynist, am I right? Totally Beta.
Actually, it is totally Beta. Which brings me to my next point- married game is different than single game. This has been stated here ad nauseam but apparently it needs to be stated again. You need a healthy dose of Beta in an LTR/marriage to keep it running. This is affection, this is safety, this is another thing women need.
This sub-Reddit is NOT the same as TRP sub-Reddit! Understanding this would save a lot of people a lot of confusion. What the guys over at TRP are looking for is mostly different than what we are and different from what men interested in LTR/marriage are looking for in a Red Pill framework. The way they handle women is not the way we are being handled, is not the way men interested in LTR handle women. It's a different scenario altogether. A lot of their tactics would not work in an LTR because they aren't meant to and visa versa. It's like putting your dirty dishes in a front loader because, well, they both do the washing right?
So my husband Betas out on me and gives me all these tender kisses and hugs while I cry-it-out instead of rocking his world. Then I just end up wanting to rock his world all the more. We feed off of each others affection. It's that simple. And because he is willing to give it to me I am willing to give it to him. That's what sets Red Pill marriages (and more traditional marriages in general) apart from female dominated ones- we value our men and their needs. Contrary to popular belief that doesn't translate into us being forced, coerced, or neglected. Quite the opposite, actually.