Some of you may remember several of my other posts about my budding relationship with Mountain Man (MM). We started dating back in October and have continued to date long-distance.
Here is a link to what I wrote about our camping trip several months back:
Well...We are engaged! We will be married in October!
I attribute much of the success in our relationship to the things I've learned on RPW. Thank you for all of your encouragement, advice and support...really, I cannot say that enough. The mods and regular contributors on this sub dedicate a lot of time and effort to this community and it changes lives. It's hard to see the positive impact you make through the lens of the internet, but it is there and it is HUGE.
Almost exactly a year ago, I was going through a difficult breakup. It was an incredibly painful time. The breakup forced me to examine my role in the downfall of the relationship. (That's when I found this sub.) Although I think there were a lot of reasons and factors things didn't workout between us, it helped me to take responsibility for my actions and my attitude.
For me, something clicked. I had never quite understood how my parents had been able to stay happily married for 30+ years. But, when I started reading, it was clear: my Mom was an excellent First Mate. My Dad was the Captain and my sister and I fell in line behind my Mom. She was a good wife.
With a new frame of mind (and about 6 months of healing from my breakup), I reconnected with MM. We had dated briefly as Sophomores in college and kept in touch for the past 8 years, so we had a solid foundation to start our relationship.
This relationship was different. I followed his lead. I never initiated any DTR's. I let him set the pace and the progression of our relationship. I trusted him and his leadership in the little everyday things and in the big things. I also told him I was willing to relocate to be with him. I made gratitude and appreciation a habit.
Timing was also a big factor in our relationship. This time around we were both in cities that made weekend trips possible. He had had time to explore the mountains, take some incredible hunting trips and excel in his career. He felt ready and able to take on the responsibility of a relationship. My patience paid off.
I couldn't be happier. Giving up control can be scary, particularly if you are a Type A, overachieving, first born, like I am. But, it's so rewarding. It feels good knowing I have a great man by my side. I look forward to being his First Mate.
So, if you are just starting out in this journey, I cannot recommend, "The Surrendered Single" and "The Surrendered Wife" by Laura Doyle enough. Listen to the women on this sub and follow their lead. They have years of experience in successful marriages and relationships. Learn from their example and be patient. Great relationships don't happen overnight.
And thank you all! I am so grateful for this community where I can share my story and learn from others.