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THEORYSMV & RMV (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor

Good day to all.

SMV and RMV are concepts discussed here and are often conflated with one another. I will therefore attempt to explain each one, how they intertwine and how they differ.

Preface

We use the term "market value" because in any market the price of goods and services is determined by supply and demand. It's a sellers market when there's high demand and lower supply, this will cause prices to rise. When 100 people want an item of which there are only 50, they will have to pay more for that item. This is because buyers have to compete with each other over a product that's scarce.

The reverse is when there's high supply and low demand. This is when it's a buyers market and prices therefore drop. When there are only 50 buyers but 100 items for sale, sellers will have to compete with each other to attract buyers to sell their wares. They will have to lower their prices to do so.

Of course, there's a lot more to the dynamics of markets. This little bit will suffice for the discussion at hand.

SMV - Sexual Market Value

Both men and women have SMV because both men and women are sexually desired by each other. However, the fact that men as a whole desire sex in much greater frequency and variety than women, makes men the "buyers" and women the "sellers" of sex. Therefore a 7/10 SMV in a woman is more valuable than a 7/10 SMV in a man. This is also the reason why women have the upper hand and are therefore the gatekeepers of sex.

SMV is what makes you sexually desirable to the opposite sex. Men and women find different things attractive in one another, therefore different things will boost the SMV of men and women.

RMV - relationship market value

Bother men and women have RMV because both men and women are desired by each other for the purpose of a LTR. However, the fact that women as a whole desire a LTR more than men do, makes women the "buyers" and men the "sellers" of relationships. Therefore, a man with a 7/10 RMV is more valuable than a woman with a 7/10 RMV. This is also the reason why men have the upper hand and are therefore the gatekeepers of relationships.

RMV is what makes you a desirable long term mate to the opposite sex. Men and women find different things desirable for the long term, therefore different things will boost the RMV of men and women.

Turbulence and stability

Turbulence and stability are opposites. One is constantly moving, jumpy, unpredictable, exciting, passionate and sexy. Sex is a turbulent thing (generally speaking). Sex involves an elevated heart rate, excitement and other elements that cannot be maintained in a stable manner 24/7.

Stability doesn't budge. It's predictable and boring, not passionate and not very sexy. Stability is reassuring and comforting. The way it is today is the way it was yesterday and the way it will be tomorrow. Think of the structure of your house, you want it to not move ever no matter what winds, rain or snow come it's way. Stability is 24/7. When we built a relationship, we strive for it to be as stable as can be.

Intersection

Stability and routine can become boring. We also have a need for passion, excitement, unpredictability and sexuality. How can these two opposites dwell together within the same home?

The analogy of a home is a good one. We have the foundation and structure that need to be very stable and only stable. We have the heating and cooling and electrical systems which are all turbulent moving parts which have been harnessed in a constructive manner. Then we have things like the doors and windows which are sometimes locked and shuttered and stable, while other times they can open and allow others into our home.

To translate this into marriage - the foundation and structure needs to be built upon a solid commitment that doesn't waver by the onset of turbulence such as "wind" from the outside or an argument from the inside. Once the commitment is there, we can harness turbulent things such as sex, passion, excitement etc into constructive forces just like we do with electricity, water and fire. We also have elements where we can allow others in at specific times but not other times, we'll allow this person in but not that person. These are the various people we allow into our relationship to varying degrees based on the need. Discretion needs to be used to decide when to open the door and when to lock it.

A healthy marriage has a clear understanding of what is what and what goes where. A healthy marriage also has a good balance between stability and excitement. This is how men and women can built a beautiful home together, a home that's nice and warm in the winter and cool in the summer.A home that keeps negative outside forces such as rain, animals and intruders on the outside while guarding those on the inside. A home that is a pleasant place to live.

Caution

Problem is that certain things might be a boost to sexuality but a detriment to relationships or vice versa. For example

  • A man who's committed heart and soul to his wife and children, he provides them with everything etc but has developed a dad bod, he's overly emotional, he doesn't lead etc. He may have some RMV, but his SMV has plummeted. He will wonder why his wife never wants sex.

  • A women who has the perfect body, is feminine, is awesome in bed etc. She has sex on the first date if she fancies the guy. She will wonder why everyone disappears, where are all the good men?

There can be many more examples. The common denominator is that in both cases a person was focused exclusively on their SMV or their RMV. If you elevate your SMV but neglect your RMV, you can end up a 10/10 in the sexual market but only a 2/10 in the relationship market. This person will attract people of a very high sexual caliber and wonder why they can't attract people of the same caliber for a long term commitment.

The same is true in the reverse.

Conclusion

A healthy balance needs to be found between what's attractive to you specifically from a relationship point of view and what's attractive to you specifically from a sexual point of view. Both are extremely important. Neglecting one or the other will have disastrous outcomes.

It's like the right and left side of your body. They serve different functions but both are very important to have. Your right side is the turbulent side. It's the side that goes and moves according to the situation at hand. The left side is the side that's grounded and stable. When you kick a ball, your right foot does the swinging and your left foot keeps you grounded.

People often get confused by what seems to be mixed messages of TRP. A man who is only looking for sex will only discuss SMV and completely ignore RMV. What may be a plus in the sexual market may be a minus in the relationship market. A woman who is only looking for a relationship may say things that make men wonder why the cognitive dissonance. But that woman is only looking at the relationship market. Her advice may not help in the sexual market at all. It may even be a negative there.

Ultimately, balance and harmony between the two is what we strive for here at RPW.

Cheers!


[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (19 children)

Your flair should read "RPW Poster of the decade". 😉

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 3 points4 points  (18 children)

Ha!

Thank you for the compliment ;)

BTW, my flair says that because we're married for around a decade.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (16 children)

Does she know about TRP?

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (15 children)

I doubt it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (14 children)

I'm always curious if ppl who frequently contribute have SO's that know about RP

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 7 points8 points  (13 children)

I always wonder something else. How many people give advice from their own trial and error and how many are just big talkers? Sometimes it's obvious one way or the other, other times not so obvious.

My marriage is what led me searching for answers and to eventually find TRP. Had everything worked out as planned I probably would still be unaware about TRP. But they didn't work as planned. My wife suffers from clinical depression and anxiety and several other things. I'm responsible for at least 75% of any given element of our household and to always be there to support her while also not having my needs met.

Being a caregiver can be noble, but it's very easy to be taken for granted and to be walked on. TRP helped me tremendously in understanding the cause and effect of many things that were happening. If I don't like the resulting effect, I ought to work on changing the cause.

This is what I've been doing and my sanity, self respect and my marriage are much better off as a result.

So no, I'm not telling her about TRP. I'm not ready to get into discussions with her on whether this is a good approach and why. That would only derail things. For now, actions speak louder than words. I speak with actions.

[–]Willow-girl 3 points4 points  (7 children)

How many people give advice from their own trial and error and how many are just big talkers?

LOL, I figure my four divorces ought to be good for something! :-D

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

:)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Do you read Married RP (i.e MRP)? That is RP for married guys - nothing like TRP.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Eh. Tried it. It's too bitter for my taste buds.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children)

I can understand why you wouldn't tell her and I commend you on being such a support to your wife. It sort of blows the whole theory of RP men being in it for only themselves out of the water.

My husband knows about RP, he's glad I found something that helps me strive to improve in our marriage but he isn't interested in TRP.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

My experience from browsing the internet has been that people join TRP for various reasons and have various motives. Sure, there are a bunch of kids over at TRP who are just dying to get laid and nothing else, but that is definitely not true for everyone.

As they say, TRP is a toolbox. It's up to you to decide what to do with those tools.

The rational male has some of my favorite TRP writings in it (didn't read the whole thing). It was written by a man who's married for over 20 years with no plans to divorce. He's a superstar over at TRP.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I read Rollo's posts when he writes in TRP. I'd love to know what his wife is like and what she thinks about his writing.

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I'm curious to know the same thing.

Rollo writes about the negative changes in his wife which led him down this path in the first place and the positive changes that came as a result of travelling down this path in life. If his wife knows about it, I'm sure it would be a difficult thing for her to own up to as true as it may be.

I doubt his wife is in the dark about his writings because he wrote a book and because AFAIK he posts pictures of himself with his face.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're welcome.

[–]everest8612 1 point2 points  (1 child)

What an Excellent post, thank you!

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're welcome.

[–]Mentathiel 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Great post, clears up a lot of things that have been frequently asked recently!

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

[–]Wollingwight 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well written. Good info, I have found this to be true in my own ltr's

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

has neoliberalism gone too far?

[–]loneliness-incEndorsed Contributor[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't understand what you're asking, please elaborate.

[–]Willow-girl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A home that keeps negative outside forces such as rain, animals and intruders on the outside

Yeah, tell that to our (former) barn cats! (Two of whom are sleeping in front of the woodstove right now, lol.)