FIELD REPORTWearing makeup for the wrong reasons (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by cosmo12321

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now. Before I met him I used to wear a considerable amount of makeup (medium coverage foundation, contour, harsh brows, etc.) which was fine with him. The thing was, I would wear it to my classes or when I was out of the house running errands or something, but when it came to just hanging out with him alone ( for example just at home or a casual dinner out) I would wear no makeup. However, he's always liked a more natural look and still thinks i'm beautiful with no makeup. I took this as an excuse to not look 'good' and make an effort around him.

I realized that I was wearing makeup for the wrong reasons. I was trying to impress other people when I should have been trying to impress and attract HIM. My focus and goal as a good girlfriend should be about working on myself for his liking, not other people's liking. I stopped wearing so much makeup and stuck strictly to mascara and tinted lip balm. I look very presentable and natural and more feminine and less 'fake'. I enhance my looks when I am with him the way he likes it because thats all that matters. Not to mention my skin has gotten so much better and I care less about what other people think about me or my looks. All in all, I learned my lesson and I hope you ladies enjoyed reading about my experience.

[–]Banincoming 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I think you are making the right choice.

[–][deleted]  (7 children)


[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children)

what's your ritual?

[–]consolsnowdnir 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Not who you asked, but I've been really into Korean skincare lately and my skin has never been any better. First I'll start off with an oil cleanser (alternating between banilla co zero and shu uemura oil cleanser), then laneige'a multi purpose everyday cleanser (the blue one). Next is toner (etude house pore toner), followed by missha time revolution first treatment essence. Then laneige's water serum, eye cream and water sleeping mask.

For day time, I skip the oil cleanser and replace sleeping mask with sunscreen.

Once a week (or really whenever I remember to lol) I'll throw in exfoliation (black sugar scrub) after the cleanser and a sheet mask (whatever I have on hand) after the toner at night.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wow, that's a serious routine. I usually only do serum plus a hydrating cream in the morning, and at night I just cleanse because my skin is very greasy in the morning when I use night creams. But I feel like at my age I should probably step up the game a little bit.

Do you really see the difference? Would you say it's worth the money? And how old are you?

[–]consolsnowdnir 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm 26 but I'm a firm believer of it's better to prevent than try to correct. No idea if I'm using too little or something, but it takes me almost a year to get through it (I do skip everything once in a while - every 2 months or so - when I feel lazy lol...for reference, it takes me 5 minutes or so without the exfoliator and sheet mask, 30 minutes with...but I just use that time to chill and watch something either on tv or YouTube).

I definitely do! My skin went from looking flaky and pimple-y (around the hairline and chin area) to dewy and healthy. Still get those spots, but that's limited to week before my period....not much I can do about that :/

So yes, I definitely do think it's worth it! (Word of advice, if your man needs to use any of your creams, be prepared to go shopping for them a lot more often....like every 3 months...)

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

he's always liked a more natural look and still thinks i'm beautiful with no makeup. I took this as an excuse to not look 'good' and make an effort around him.

I fell into this trap too!

[–]xBreakFreex 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Yep. All I do is get my brows groomed, eyelash extensions (natural looking ones, not those huge ones that look like spiders) and tinted balm. Sometimes I use a bit of a coverstick under the eyes but that's it. So much better. My partner also hates heaps of makeup and so do I.

[–]videlachkadua 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't blame you one bit

[–]heybebo22 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree with you completely.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Very true! This doesn't only apply to makeup but to clothes and hair and everything too.

I never really thought about this but now that you bring it up I can see I haven't been making an effort at home when I see him all the time but will try to look better when facing society. Fortunately, my SO likes seeing me in my Pj's and hair balled up on top of my head so I'm lucky :p but there is some room for improvement (shaving everyday and putting lotsa cream, notching it up a bit with pristine higiene, toe nails done even when in the winter).

Thank you for posting this and pointing it out for all of us 💞

[–]videlachkadua 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand how you feel. There are times when I would wear attractive clothes because many people like it but I have learned to focus on what my SO likes. He likes natural women so I don't wear as much makeup anymore. I like wearing feminine stuff still because it makes me feel good.

There are times when my hair was messy and I wore sweatpants. I think he doesn't care but I like when he compliments me. He likes feminine women who's career minded

[–]Rivkariver2 Star 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you feel like not making a lot of effort at home, it's very easy to wear just mascara and lipstick. And instead of say sweats just something comfortable but more form fitting. So easy for men who like natural beauty.

[–]RubyWooToo3 Stars 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband prefers when I don't wear make up and dress casually at home because he feels like he gets to see a more intimate and relaxed side of me other people don't see.

Of course, that doesn't mean I look like a slob at home and I do take excellent care of my skin. As other comments have said, if women invested half the time and money they invest in makeup products into skin care, make up wouldn't be nearly as necessary.

[–]Atticus_Crowley 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I actually had an argument with my ex about this topic one time. She was very...particular, I guess is the word about the image she wanted to convey. Much to my chagrin this meant always behaving when we were in public, even though she was dressed gorgeously and had her makeup/hair on point, but the second we got to my apartment, make up off, clothes off, she puts on my pj pants and that's all she wrote. A tad frustrating being with her when she's dressed to the nines but not being able to appreciate her fully when we're in private.

No rational dude will expect his girl to always be made up and whatnot when their alone. There will always be something attractive about the lazy, comfy pants and headband look for lazy Sundays. But if you're going to get yourself all dolled up for work/school/party/etc. at least give your guy some time to enjoy all your efforts personally before you go and wash your face before bed and all that jazz.

[–]videlachkadua 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg my boyfriend doesn't mind me in my house clothes. Makss sense.

[–]marlybarrow 0 points1 point  (0 children)