FIELD REPORTThe girl who dated 6 of the guys everyone wanted in Highschool and Dumped Them All (self.RedPillWomen)

submitted by purpurrido

Hi RPW, I've been on TRP for 3-4ish months, and finally wondered what an ideal RPW would be like (I am a girl, and treat myself like a man)

I was reading a few posts here and became kind of uncomfortable to see submissive, feminine women; but then I recalled the most horrifically accurate way RPW worked in real life. I had a close friend in HS who was the embodiment of femininity. She did her hair and makeup carefully, took care of her fashion, and exuded confidence. It was insane, she was asked out by every guy. Like, three guys in her freshman year for homecoming (and turned them all down). These are people she's only know for a month! There were two guys in particular that had high SMV that at least 4-5 girls in my friend circle had major crushes on. (One of them was unattractive/masculine in her personality, no wonder he never noticed her). She dates him for a month and dumps him. One of the guys was seen crying over her in fucking public, where a month before he was singing her a song, with a guitar and a rose for valentines day in class. I used to laugh at how high pitched and sweet her voice is around guys, but then complain about why none ever wanted me. She would give me exactly the same advice here on RPW and I would never take it... but it works. Holy hell.

There was another girl I was jealous of because of her "looks" that must attract at least 5-6 guys in my social circle too. Not even close! I now recognize maybe 80% of her attractiveness is due to red pill behavior- sweet, soft spoken, kind, laughs a lot. She was graceful and took care of her weight; she looked small and demure.

Neither of these girls who had guys fawning over them had the traits my parents considered worthwhile in life for me (ambition, money, work ethic, intelligence, humor, etc) because! THEY! ARE! GIRLS! I guess that was why I never had any luck in the dating sphere in high school, and still don't now (but I don't mind) It's eye opening. Hindsight is 20/20. Sorry if this post is a little rude... It is insane. I used to make fun of my girl friends for their femininity but they were the ones in happy relationships. For some reason girls like me a lot, maybe because I am their "boyfriend" lol.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Welcome! This community is fantastic. I know it sort of sucks when you're in the realization period. I remember feeling very angry that basically everything I had been taught was wrong. The good news is you're here now and we can all help you adopt the RPW ideals that suit your lifestyle. I've seen massive positive changes in my life thanks to this sub. <3 hope you stay a while!

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Welcome! It's very easy to default to the programming your parents set for you, but I assure you breaking those "masculine" habits is worthwhile! (: however, I don't think there's anything inherently unfeminine about those things that you mention (i.e. ambition, humor, etc.) You can have all those traits as well because they're better for you in the long run, but bare in mind that those are things men tend to overlook in the dating world.

[–]purpurrido[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

oh man! thanks for your kind response. I think they are good traits to keep; but i totally agree with you, they're not as important in the dating world xD

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course! Good luck to you, and I hope you learn a lot from this sub (:

[–]SouthernAthenaEndorsed Contributor 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Welcome to TRP! I was also raised to be a good son even though I'm definitely a daughter. I used to try to be one of the guys all the time. I did always have a boyfriend, but I got friend-zoned by a lot of guys too. I still retain a lot of those values (high-achieving, self-sufficient etc) but I've tried to tone down my bro tendencies, my cursing, and and I've worked a lot on being friendlier and more easygoing. You can work to become one of those girls! Or are least close to one (in my case).

[–]purpurrido[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There was another girl I was jealous of because of her "looks" that must attract at least 5-6 guys in my social circle too. Not even close! I now recognize maybe 80% of her attractiveness is due to red pill behavior- sweet, soft spoken, kind, laughs a lot. She was graceful and took care of her weight; she looked small and demure.

Oh yeah, absolutely! I feel you. I used to think "They should like me for me!" Well that is dumb. Ah, I had a good metaphor for this, but basically that "me" can always be improved. No use fighting human nature, forcing people to like something they don't naturally like. It's like being given $10,000 (femininity) and not using it for your advantage.

[–]Willow-girl 5 points6 points  (2 children)

ambition, money, work ethic, intelligence, humor, etc.

Be careful that you're not creating a false dichotomy. You can have/be all of the above and still be feminine, you know!

[–]purpurrido[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

fwahaha this is going to be fun; The brain is going to try to figure out how to accept two realities at the same time.

[–]testmypatience 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It isn't two realities. Masculine and feminine only vary in a few key ways. My partners always had to have ambition, intelligence, and humor or I wouldn't like them as a partner. Mainly because I'm absurdly ambitious and stubborn and require a partner that I won't steamroll on accident. Weak people I crush on accident. :/

A partner is someone that is doing things as a partner.

The feminine and masculine parts come from how you behave in general.

Some feminine traits:

  • Aesthetics: Self, home, etc.
  • Follow: Still give input, be confident in your positions, concede control if that is what is being requested and there is no large detriment to do so. Also support when possible and try to learn things that will be helpful to your partner.
  • Social organization: parties, outings, etc. to be suggested and setup as females are more socially oriented by default as a whole. Exceptions do exist. It helps the man as the man tends to be trying to do get utility stuff done with work, bills, house and vehicle repairs, etc.
  • There are others and this isn't an exhaustive list

Some masculine traits:

  • Utility: Provide, heavy lifting, other utility tasks
  • Lead: Take input, be confident in positions, take control when necessary and be decisive and don't act like a whiny bitch when something goes wrong and take responsibility when it should be taken and not at any other time because being a pushover isn't useful at all for anyone.
  • Utility organization: making sure that vehicles, housing, etc. are all located and accounted for properly. Make necessary repairs, etc.
  • There are others and this isn't an exhaustive list

A partnership between a man and woman should look much like a dance does. The man leads and the woman follows but you can't really tell because it is seamless and in unison. Equally yoked as possible so that one partner doesn't drag the other as a dead weight. There will be times when a partner needs to pull more weight than the other. Sickness and in health, richer or for poorer, better or for worse. It's always been just a simple as the classical wedding vows have made it out to be. People change and sometimes for better and sometimes for worse and sometimes for very long periods of time. As long as you try for quite a while to do your best, the other partner will often come out of their slump. Sometimes they will not, but it could have been either partner to go into that slump. Mine went into severe PTSD mode and so I pulled my weight until she did things that were unacceptable and had to remove her from my life. Cheating is unacceptable. Physically violent is unacceptable. There are things that are unacceptable but weight gain, getting into a depression slump, becoming lazy for a while, etc. all are temporary things. Life is hard and until you hit those spots you don't know how you or your partner will take those things. That is why you try to get to know them before you marry them.

This was the quick and dirty response. I probably could write a lot more but meh, I don't think I need to. Feel free to ask for clarifications but otherwise, good luck.

[–]redbrickdoll 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I love your input. I also have a 3rd cousin like this, average looks but super confident and very dressy. She had all the guys convinced she was a 10 because she acted like she was.

[–]artsyluna 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I knew someone just like this in high school. She even stole my BF of two years and broke up with him a few months later 0_0 I just wonder why these high value girls like to date and dump so many guys instead of just LTRing their favorite one. Maybe it's an ego thing?

[–]purpurrido[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

My theory is that if they are able to "catch" them they are not high SMV enough for them. The only one who ever dumped HER was the one she held on a pedestal, who flaked on her, rarely talked or showed affection, and some more crap but he was very high SMV and lots of girls had crushes on him too.

[–]artsyluna 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That might be it. Maybe they get tired of being showered in compliments by their inevitably pussy-whipped boyfriends. It just seems antithetical to be so feminine, and yet so uncommitted.