I posted about a month ago about becoming the best version of myself. I got some wonderful replies that I took to heart and I wanted to give an update!
I started reading this sub because my husband and I weren't in a bad place, but we were losing some connection. He wasn't as interested in sex and we were both stressed out and just barely having anytime for each other. I wanted the connection back!
What I did (as a result of suggestions here and from reading The Empowered Wife):
Started taking care of myself - I do 3 things on my self-care list each day. Not complaining is a big part of this as well. When I am tempted to complain, I turn it around to express what it is I really want.
Started acting more feminine - I wear make-up daily even if I am not going out, I cut my hair so it looks nicer and is easier to take care of, I bought a bunch of cute underwear, I overall have been more mindful of my appearance and not do the "mom" look.
I started 2 weeks ago tracking everything I eat & lost 9 pounds (but my hormones are wacky right now and I gained 3 back, but I am still tracking!).
I realized how controlling I've been of my husband! I kept being oh, so "helpful", and nagging, and so forth. And basically stopped doing that for the most part (it takes a lot of effort and sometimes I slip up, but I apologize and do better next time).
I've been working on becoming a "domestic goddess". The dishes are getting done each evening and laundry done every Tuesday and I've been getting the kids to clean up as well.
The biggest result I have seen is in myself. I've been keeping to my "paper" and feel so much more peace as a result. I realized after reading The Empowered Wife how much I was living in fear and worry. When my husband says he'll do something, I've decided to just trust that he will do it and forget about it (whereas before I would fret and worry and offer helpful advice). Also, doing the self care has been so so great. My husband has been noticing the difference in my countenance and positive attitude. And sex has been great. It hasn't been much more frequent, but it's not been with the attitude of "well, I guess so if you want to" and "let's get this over with so we can sleep". I've been encouraging him to lead more and he's taken that to heart in the bedroom and it's been really, really great :).
I'm so glad I found this sub! I have heard a lot of these things before and always had an excuse for why it doesn't apply to me or I just don't have time or whatever else.