In days bygone, you had to marry to have sex. Therefore, a man who was interested in sex needed to try to impress a woman, court her and finally propose marriage. This has changed in all of the west except for certain religious communities. Today, premarital sex is the norm. If so, why would a man consider marriage?
Additionally, marriage has become a huge liability for men. Alimony, child support, custody and rape allegations are all stacked against men. Men are still expected to fulfill all the traditional male obligations but are not to expect the same from their wives. Thus, marriage has become a raw deal for the average western man.
It therefore stands to reason that if you want your man to marry you, he needs to have a very good reason for doing so. There needs to be something big in it for him. The benefits of marriage has to outweigh the potential risks.
Men generally love to analyze things by a cost/benefit measure. If the benefits outweigh the costs, we're in. If the costs outweigh the benefits, we're out. The reason why so many men today are shunning marriage is because - in western society - the cost of marriage far outweighs the benefit for men.
If you don't plan on having children, there's no reason to get married other than religious reasons. Just live together, love each other and commit to one another without the legal entanglement called marriage. If you do plan on having children, here are some things to consider.
During this time, you vet one another to determine whether you're ready to live the rest of your lives together. It's wise to bring up all the big things early on. Be honest and straightforward. This is when you want every potential deal-breaker to emerge so you can go your separate ways if you aren't for each other.
Your SMV will be quite apparent early on, it's your RMV that's now under scrutiny. This is what will take him some time to vet.
It's my firm opinion that you should have no sex or sexual contact during this period of time. It's wiser and healthier to build a relationship that isn't blinded by pre/post sex hormones. Have sex when you reach the next stage.
In my books, this is when you're married. Once you commit to each other. This is when you should engage in sexual activity. Go at it, don't hold back. The word appropriate means in the right place, at the right time, with the right person. Now that you're commuted to him, he fits the bill as an appropriate person to have sex with.
Men are expected to bring home the bulk of the finances. Show him that you care about his money at every opportunity you have. When he's getting ready to commit, insist that you don't need a ring or any other fancy/expensive item. This will send him a message that you value his money. If he buys you a ring or any other expensive item, reiterate that it's truly unnecessary, be very grateful and extra loving as a sign of your appreciation.
Yes, a ring is a traditional sign of your commitment. However, with today's different dynamics of marriage, a ring to a man is a financial cost that has little to no benefit to him. He may not readily admit to this (Especially if he fears your retaliation for telling the truth), but this is part of the reason for MGTOW. More and more men feel that things like a ring and big wedding are expected whereas things like sex are not to be expected. (Once again, the point of this post is to enumerate some of the things that make marriage more attractive or less attractive to men).
You should be together for several years by now and only getting legally married because you're ready to have children. Full trust should be a given by now, but it shouldn't be assumed and expected indefinitely. Remember, marriage is still a raw deal for western men no matter how much he trusts you. If you want him to take the plunge, you ought to address his potential concerns by making it less of a potential raw deal.
The first way to do this is to always keep him happy. You keep a man happy by keeping his balls empty, his stomach full and your mouth shut. That's it. Three simple things. Active, varied and passionate sex. Hearty, healthy and filling home cooked meals. And a woman who is pleasant to be around, who doesn't nag, whine, complain, cajole, threaten, bitch, ctiticize or offer ultimata.
Next is to write up and sign a prenuptial agreement. You should each have your own legal representation and you should have the whole thing recorded by a professional videographer. You buy insurance for your house and car even though you plan on never using it, a prenuptial agreement is insurance for your marriage. Don't wait for him to raise the issue, you bringing it up will demonstrate your concern for his wellbeing.
Marriage is a raw deal for western men. Take steps to make it a better deal for your man if you want to make this decision more appealing to him.